He called me disgusting
Never said it to my face…
He sat in bed glancing at me,
Muttering his distaste…
He screamed that he would beat me
Raised fists as he barreled near
He stopped just short and broke out into obscenities only I could hear…
The nights when I would whisper
No.
I don’t want your love inside…
Sweet words and caresses would follow
Convincing me to give in to love
with no glove…
He was damaged
Now, so was I
The solution it seemed, to constantly get high…
I understood his pain so deeply, like it was my very own
But nobody knew about the monsters I was fighting…
They were mine…
Alone.
He tried to love me
He really did
The best that he knew how
But there was so much that I let slip on through and in the name of love, allow.
I loved him more than love itself and this is my disgrace
I hid the hurt
I masked the shame
Twisted notions of love can only be to blame…
My monsters though they’ve been slayed in bulk
One or two have slipped through the seams
They haunt me using words sometimes
And,
Sometimes…
in my dreams…
Author: BIANCA FEARICK
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: I am a woman. I write. I love. I rise. I laugh. I heal.
