Uncharted Flashes

There’s something about change that triggers negativity to rise. Perhaps the things we hide, reject, deny and dismiss to the side are the treasures that push us to make a real transformation. What we don’t allow ourselves to feel, eventually comes back to manifest itself in some other shape or color. Sometimes the anger we have held inside of us for many years starts to reflect the relationship we establish with our body. Perhaps the resentment towards one our parents starts to become more evident within our relationships, or maybe an emotional trauma in our early years has made a hole so deep within us that we have learned to cover it up with unfulfilling relationships.

There are many things we hide or avoid because we are afraid of unleashing emotions we consider “bad, negative, unacceptable, or dark.” Opening certain doors from our past can trigger these emotions to rise, and may be uncomfortable to integrate to the person we believe we are today.

What holds us back from opening those doors? Could it be shame? guilt? or is it our inability to accept our selfishness, insecurity and dark side?

The secrets that we keep to ourselves start eating us from the inside, we start to feel as if something from within wants to be released. Sometimes we unconsciously choose partners or get involved in situations that help us relieve some of that tension. When we lack awareness and understanding of what is “eating us” from the inside we may find ourselves in repeated cycles that teach us the same lesson over and over again from a different angle.

The secrets we hide aren’t necessarily the lies we tell others, it’s the lies we tell ourselves and the reality we have convinced our mind to believe in order to keep us sane. The moment you open a door you feel a sudden rush of emotions that you were unaware of. There’s a sudden rush of confusion and denial that keeps your mind bouncing back from the past to the present.

Your thoughts bring you back to the moment you experienced anger, resentment, betrayal or sadness, and then it brings you back to the present where those feelings have been camouflaged behind toxic relationships, disconnection from others, lack of trust or the inability to accept the other. As overwhelming as it may be, opening up these doors help you to recognize the feelings that have been hurting you and limiting your potential. These doors are the pathway to the start of a chapter where you allow yourself to feel without letting those emotions define you.

As you become more aware of the emotions you have repressed you begin to understand the choices you have made throughout your life. It’s like the puzzle piece starts to come together where you recognize who you were and who you are now. Your emotions start to trace a path of self-discovery that may scare you at first, but as you continue to walk you realize that the path itself is not so scary because instead of holding you back, it starts to liberate you; and you can start to breathe again.

Opening up doors from the past may force you to rewrite your story; which means you start to question your beliefs and feel a sudden urge to make adjustments in your life that will help you to open up to a new perspective and bring you back home to you.

Previously posted on:

Author: Daniela Ortiz
Email: eljardinenmi@gmail.com
Author Bio: Life is a combination of Light, Darkness, and Love.
Link to social media or website: https://eljardinenmi.wordpress.com | Instagram @ortzdani

by Daniela Ortiz

Daniela is a student pursuing her studies in mental health counseling with the idea of integrating body and mind practices to comprehend human behavior. Writing has been one of her main therapeutic outlets to channel all the emotional energy that lingers on from experiences that have been both pleasant and difficult to process. One quote that best describes her and her writing would be “Light is easy to love, show me your darkness”.


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