I want to write what’s important.
I want to write falling in love—
my chin to his shoulder blade,
his palm against the lips of my waist—
I want to write thinking, this is it.
I want to write unloved, unreciprocated
his eyes looking below me,
never at me.
I want to write still loving you—
I want to write holding on—
driving 28 miles forward
and right back.
I want to write the four unanswered knocks at your door
and how strong my knuckles felt.
I want to write how I thought I could change things.
I longed to write control.
I want to write who we were—
we were a love that couldn’t wait a second
we were a 2 a.m.-8 a.m. schedule
we were, “I can’t leave, I don’t want to leave…” (10 times over)
we were coming back because that car
door didn’t fully close,
we were “don’t go.”
We were entangled in more than each other’s’ limbs.
I want to write who we became—
and be completely
when I do.
We became silence
we became paralyzed
we became unseen
by each other.
I want to write trying to forget—
I want to write mind games and memories,
spread them out like puzzle pieces on a rainy day.
I want to write another possible lover—
I want to write why I couldn’t love him,
not the same,
not at all.
I want to write laying next to someone
you don’t love—
I want to write laying on your side, thinking,
I don’t want to travel the world with this person.
I want to write calling you
looking for you
running to you
like it made sense,
because I promise you,
it made sense.
I want to tell you
how I wrote hope,
taking a chance
like it could save me.
I want to write you
walking away from who I am—
the broken face you left me—
how I can’t see it
but I can feel it—
I know stains.
I don’t want to write losing you.
I want to write letting go.
I want to write breathing…
I continue to write.
Author: Stacey L Herrle
Author Bio: My name is Stacey Herrle. I am a driven writer and a full-fledged dreamer. To me, my writing and dreams go hand-in-hand. I derive most of my inspiration for writing from personal experience, my heart and adventure. I want to be a writer who leaves a mark, who makes noise. I want to write artistically. To write fire. Electric. Raw. What is scary to write. Shake it up. Tell my truth. One day, I want to be a powerful voice for individuals who have trouble living what’s in their hearts– the feelings, the truths, the wants, the vulnerable windows and doors that want to open and share. To me, through writing, we have the opportunity to be our strongest selves– to be true to ourselves.
Link to social media or website: Instagram @posted_duck