There’s nothing left for me here anymore

Your sorry ass apologies and limitless excuses pass right through me

I will no longer cripple beneath you frozen in fear on the floor

The cuts and the bruises have drained me of whatever has kept me near

My pleas and your screams still haunt my dreams,

my nightmares are alive
or so it seems

My head has been bashed in

until I was yellow and blue

Your mind makes up false stories and it’s me who has to suffer with you

I cannot think straight and I can barely see

A shining light at the end of this tunnel has been taunting me

So I stretch, just to reach the twinkling of freedom ahead

I chase and though I may fall
I will crawl and I’ll fight through the sewage you spill

My body takes the beatings but it’s my mind that has finally broken

My conscious repeatedly shouting at me
“Repair and rebuild or be killed”

Do not drag me
do not run after me
Let me be
Let me free

You have no more room to control me

The strings of attachment have been twisted so tightly
that I have finally ripped from their grasp

You have stained my heart for the last time
My heart is afraid

But I have found my voice

Is this what you meant when you said we’d always be together no matter what?

What is this feeling?

It sure isn’t love.
I finally believe it.

Staying with you this long has been the worst choice of my life
I am not your toy,
Not your worthless rag doll to be tossed around for your pleasure

My skin has been bloodied with these
memories of the monster inside of you

A person I thought I knew
Someone, I thought I loved

And maybe I do love you
But the truth is

I now love myself more
I have to

I never saw it coming

But I’m not looking back


If you liked this poem, be sure to check out, “Only the Birds.”

by AngieMurillo

25-Chicago native
Old soul/Heavy mind
Aspiring to inspire!
I spend my time writing the stories that cloud my daydreams. I enjoy expressing myself through poetry and nonsense fan fictions! I believe in the art of smashing words together to reach hearts and minds around the world.

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