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Mental Health

What Do Women Really Want?

Well, that depends on who you ask.

Some women want to meet and marry their true, passionate love.

Most desire clear skin, less stress, and a healthy body.

Others crave a promotion and the financial freedom and recognition that comes with it.

And then there are those praying on their cold bathroom floors for a positive sign on a pregnancy stick.

But beneath all of that, what we really, really want is…

To be SEEN.

To be HEARD.

To be BELIEVED.

And, to be RESPECTED.

Every woman wants the same thing a man does. Is that so hard to believe?

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) states on their website that:

“Every 73 seconds an American is sexually assaulted…on average, there are 433,648 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States.”

Abuse is something no one ever wants to talk about, including me. Yet it happens so often.

Although I’ve never been a victim of sexual abuse, I have been hurt in other ways, so there is a tiny piece of me that understands. There are several women I’ve known throughout my life that have been victims of sexual abuse and my heart breaks for them as I write this. Although I’ll never really know, I can see that for those that don’t receive true help and healing, that the pain, fear, and shame never really leaves them.

They say that the “eyes are the window to a person’s soul” and I believe it. The pain and stigma of trauma can cling to you for years. You can’t just forget about it, or never talk about it and expect to fully heal and move on. Many women do this. Others turn to addiction with food, weed, alcohol, and even self-harm like cutting, so that they can actually “feel something… or feel anything.”

What happens when women do try to speak up?

They’re shamed and ignored. They’re told to shut up or to “not cause a scene” like my last client told me.

I’ve heard that it’s just easier to “let it go” and not talk about it anymore. But is that really true? Is avoiding the problem or burying the memory 6 feet under better than talking about it in a supportive space with a trusted person? Wouldn’t it be better to get it out of your brain, out of your body and out of your soul?

The first step towards healing is acknowledging that something is real, that something has happened, and that you need support.

The second is being brave and bold and picking up the phone. Many women don’t get this far. The fear is too great.. and the abuser is too close.

If you are reading this, I want you to know…

You did NOTHING wrong. It was NOT YOUR FAULT.  It’s OKAY to FEEL the way you do.

I also want you to know that help is always available, even if you’re scared. There is always a way out, even if you feel trapped.

Not all people are cruel and abusive. There are many kind, loving and caring people in this world. Many of them are on the other end of that phone line waiting patiently for you to call.

I hope that you find the courage and if you can’t find it, that you CREATE THE COURAGE to pick up the phone and call for help. You deserve to live a happy, loving, and safe life. You deserve to be free and you deserve:

To be SEEN.

To be HEARD.

To be BELIEVED.

And, to be RESPECTED.

24/7 National Sexual Assault Hotline Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to connect with a trained member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.

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by VioletOstuni2020

Violet Ostuni
Wellness Expert, Certified Life and Health Coach and Meditation Educator


Violet is the creator of Venture Love, a wellness company focused on healing women from the inside-out. She is based in San Francisco, CA. She lives in a jewel-box styled home with her Southern Italian husband and her ball of fluff, Charlie, a Yorkshire Terrier. She loves tending to her herb garden, reading health, spiritual and self-love books written by women, for women. When she's not writing or cooking up a healthy meal, she's coaching women and leading Meditation Workshops.


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