What It Really Means To Be The “Cool Girl” In a Relationship

Ah, the “cool girl”. Ladies, I’m sure you can say you’ve heard this phrase at one point or another. Picture this: you’re hanging out with your partner and they suddenly do something that doesn’t sit right with you. They blatantly cross your boundaries and you stay quiet and take it. You’re afraid of saying something because of the fear that you’ll lose them. Sounds familiar? Yup, I’ve been there and it’s not a fun place to be.

I was always afraid of being “too needy” or “too high maintenance” and I was scared that my partner would think the effort isn’t worth it and they would leave and abandon me. Major trigger word: abandon. My abandonment wound would get triggered and instead of speaking up for myself, I took whatever breadcrumbs my partner gave me and went with it.

This is something I notice in many women but let me tell you something: amazing things happen when you stop trying to be anything you’re not. When you get aligned with your desires and needs. When you set and follow through with the boundaries you have. When you learn how to confidently ask for what you need. Not only do you feel so much more empowered, self-worthy, and proud of how you’re showing up, but you start to attract the people who can meet you where you are and give you what you want. The truth is, a “cool girl” is a girl with boundaries.

She’s a girl who respects herself enough to stand up for her values and needs. She’s a girl confident enough to walk away from something that isn’t serving her. She’s a girl who won’t take breadcrumbs or settle for anything less than she deserves. She will speak her truth when she needs to and shows up as her authentic self. Will you be that girl?


If you like this article, check out: https://www.harnessmagazine.com/how-to-handle-a-one-sided-relationship/

by Yasmin Elzomor

Hi loves! My name is Yasmin Elzomor and I am a NYC based relationship + trauma coach. I began fulfilling my mission and purpose through coaching a few years ago when I ended a 4 year relationship. It was a relationship filled with hardship and trauma - I was in a very transitional and difficult point in my life where I didn't know what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go. I constantly wondered why I was always attracting unhealthy men and relationships so I wanted to dive deeper into my own shadows and break this cycle I kept hitting. Shortly after ending that relationship, I realized that I wanted to help other women (and men) to step into their power and attract healthier relationships into their lives by understanding their trauma and internal worlds. I am so passionate about helping other people rise and live the life they are worthy of living, as well as holding myself accountable by doing the same and leading with integrity.

Aside from this mission, I am also a content creator + influencer. I work with many different brands that I love and I create content for them and help them grow.


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