Gabby sat in the hotel room and wondered why she chose to give herself so freely to another man she knew only wanted her body, but not the whole of her. “Shit, I did it again”! This was the second time in less than two months where she placed herself in this unhealthy situation. “ Why in the hell do I keep doing this to myself, what am I looking for”?
Like most women, Gabby is looking for love, and so she gives herself freely to men who can get beyond her walls with a smile and the right conversation, telling her all the things she longs to hear.
A successful, intelligent black woman in the prime of her life, and who should probably know better about the romantic choices she makes, fails to be able to discern lust for love or crumbs for loaves.
Even in the act of passion, tears roll down her face because she knows once again she’s settled for crumbs.
She leaves the hotel telling herself, “ it’ll be okay, he’ll call”, but his call never comes, and there is another crack in her soul, but this time it is cloaked in shame too. A shame so deep that looking in the mirror is even difficult for her.
She’s not only ashamed of her actions but too afraid of rejection, so she doesn’t call him either.
Gabby, like so many other women, has settled for crumbs instead of waiting on the whole loaf…