“The Power of Thought” is the title of one of my presentations. It’s amazing how this four word sentence means a great deal; I learned this lesson early in life. When I was a young child I developed vitiligo, which is a condition that causes depigmentation of parts of the skin. In the sixth grade, I was bullied every day because my skin looked so different; bullies would call me “cow” because of the visible spots on my body. It was an experience I will never forget, and I knew deep down that the way bullies made me feel wasn’t how I really felt inside. Even though my skin was different, I still felt confident.
One night, after a very bad day at school, I decided that I was the only one who could put a stop to the bullying. So, I mustered up the courage to stand up to one of the bullies and fight back, even though the bully was twice my size.
The morning of the fight, everyone at school approached me and asked if I was scared. I replied “no” with such confidence and belief that they all started to believe in me too. I was able to convince myself, and the entire school, that I was going to win this fight. By the end of that day, those same classmates were asking the bully if she was scared to fight me. It seemed that throughout the course of the day the tables had turned, and I had the whole grade on my side.
I’m not sure if I truly understood the magnitude this moment had on me, and what a difference it made for me. I now realize, when you believe in yourself, people around you will also believe in you. We are all connected, and the energy we put out there is the energy we will get back.
The power of thought is truly a powerful tool. While going to school, I was a waitress at Denny’s, and I always got great tips. Many of the other waitresses didn’t like me very much because they would see the large tips left at my tables. What they didn’t know was the frame of mind I had when I was at the restaurant. Every day when I walked into the restaurant I was not a waitress, I was the “owner” of Denny’s. With that mindset, I stood out to my customers because they felt my confidence and energy. I was there to serve them and make a positive connection. This was my philosophy for every job I’ve had. Now, I am proud to say, that I am the owner of my own business, Working with Parents, LLC, and I am blessed to be so successful.
In 1995, I started my career as an early childhood education teacher. As soon as I started my job, I knew I had found my calling, and I never looked back. I connected with the children right away, and I quickly found out that I also knew how to work with the parents in a compassionate and understanding way. The 20-plus years of experience as an early childhood educator and program director led me to where I am today!
As I developed in my career I read many kinds of books. I came across Rick Warren’s book “The Purpose Driven Life,” and I immediately gravitated to his concept of SHAPE:
5 Things That “SHAPE” Who You Are
“S” is for Spiritual Gifts – What are you gifted to do? What’s your God given gift? We all have a gift.
“H” is for Heart – What do I love to do? What is your passion?
“A” is for Abilities – This is when you match your gifts and your passion = what you are really good at!
“P” is for Personality – Some people are determined, some are focused, some like routine, some like variety.
“E” is for Experiences – This is your job, your family, your education, and your life. The most important ones are your painful experiences. God never wastes a hurt. This is what keeps us connected.
When you understand your “SHAPE”you know what you should be doing with your life!
– Rick Warren
I have come to understand my “SHAPE” and now know that helping families is my life’s calling. I also know that the work I do is led by God. He has truly led me in the right direction and referred many wonderful families to me to serve, save from unnecessary stress and transform into peaceful, strong, confident families. I am still, to this day, amazed at the work I do and the success that each of my clients have experienced. Many of my clients have been dealing with behavior challenges for many years, and I am able to change their lives around in less than one week.
What led me on this journey was an obligation to parents and their children. For several years I witnessed happy, well-behaved children in their classrooms displaying independence and self-confidence. Then, the unthinkable would happen. Every evening during pick-up time, children would unravel right before our eyes, literally transforming from well-behaved and confident to over-emotional and helpless children. They would take a turn for the worse and have complete meltdowns! It was like a switch was triggered the moment Mom or Dad would walk into the room. Of course, the obvious answer for the parent was, “Oh, he is so tired,” or “I know it’s been a long day,” and the most logical reasoning was, “I know, you must be hungry.” Yet, as teachers, we all knew too well that wasn’t the real reason at all. It pained me to see this happen over and over; this was supposed to be a happy and joyous moment for both parent and child, not a stressful, unhappy or dreadful moment. Unfortunately, this scenario followed them on their way out the door, into the car, and of course, left the parents fed up and exhausted by the time they reached home. By this time, both parent and child are having tantrums and meltdowns causing even more stress and anxiety in the home environment.
Something needed to be done, and I needed to do my part to change this dynamic for the better. I had more than enough hands-on training working with hundreds of children, observing their behaviors, developing proven behavior practices, and training teachers and parents how to manage children. It was my obligation to provide parents with the tools needed to be successful at home.
I helped my first family in 2010. I had established a great rapport with one of the center families, and after watching them struggle through several pick-up routines, I approached them about providing an in-home coaching session. Within a few hours of the session, we were able to address several misbehaviors, diffuse some unwanted habits and develop positive routines to set him up for success. We were also able to sit for some time and talk about why their child misbehaved, and I really got the parents to understand and see what was working, what wasn’t working, and why. After I left their home and I saw the impact I made, I immediately knew this was the direction I needed to go.
Fast forward years later and Working with Parents, LLC is a successful business and changing lives along the way. Several times during my parent coaching sessions, I’ve been asked if I have a book, or have been encouraged to write a book to share my parenting tools, techniques and the C.P.R. philosophy. Initially, I turned away from writing a book because I thought I was not a good writer, plus the feedback that I was receiving was that books were not very effective. This is why I started my business and went into the homes—to provide hands-on training and deliver real sustainable results. After seeing a consistent trend of successful results from every family that I worked with, I started to realize that the tools and techniques along with my C.P.R. philosophy I was teaching could be incorporated into a book or two. So, I am now an author to “Revive Your Parenting, C.P.R. for Parents, A Philosophy based on Compassion, Patience and Respect,” which was published November 2017.
I am currently wrapping up my second book, “Change Your Perspective, Improve Your Parenting” coming late 2018. My overall goal is to help parents eliminate the yelling, reduce the stress, and gain confidence in their parenting. I want you and your family to be able to truly enjoy the limited time you have together during your children’s formative years, making memories and building strong, lasting bonds.
I truly believe in the practice I provide. Parenting doesn’t have to be so difficult, confusing, or constantly changing. Raising loving, compassionate, and respectful children can be very simple, and most importantly peaceful. When you change your perspective on what children really need, then you can change your parenting. Anything can happen when you believe in yourself and have confidence. As I always say, “Be Strong, Be Consistent, Be Confident and everything will fall in place.”
Oh, and if you were wondering who won the fight, I did because she never showed up!
Author: Terry Manrique
Email: [email protected]
Author Bio: Terry Manrique is an Expert Parent & Relationship Coach with 20+ years of experience in the field of Early Childhood Education. After working 17 years as a teacher and Program Director at a private, art-integrated early childhood education center, she decided to start her business in April 2011 coaching families in their homes. As the successful owner of Working with Parents, LLC, Terry has helped countless families across the United States improve and transform their relationships using her C.P.R. for Parents philosophy, a variety of parenting methods and proven behavior management practices.
Terry is the author of “Revive Your Parenting, C.P.R. for Parents, A Philosophy based on Compassion, Patience, and Respect.” Her experience has allowed her to provide parents with a crash course in early childhood development, help parents better understand how their children think, and empower them to be empathetic to what their child’s needs are. Understanding your child and knowing WHY they behave the way they do can eliminate the frustration many parents face.
Terry is certified by Tony Robbins Team in Strategic Intervention-Relationship Coaching and certified in Early Childhood Education.
Link to social media or website: https://ourparentcoach.com
