Why Can’t We Be Single?

The other day, I was sitting on my couch, fumbling through websites trying to find movies to watch until I stumbled upon a very bad romantic comedy which was supposedly trying to teach women “how to be single”. After wasting a good hour and a half of my existence watching it, I was left contemplating the blank screen on my laptop as it rested upon my stomach and wondering why, why, why is Hollywood trying to instill this belief that we ought to be in a relationship to survive, unless we want to be some moronic person that tries to fill this penis-shaped void in our life with some activity or other—by work or partying or what have you.

Now, I am a woman in her twenties, surrounded by other women in their twenties who, as soon as they find themselves being single, get into this crazy frantic Bridget Jones spiral because they think that their life doesn’t mean anything unless it has someone in it. Consequentially, they start signing up on whatever dating app comes their way and dating whatever idiot comes along just so they don’t have to face the shame and humiliation of having to say to the world and themselves that they are, indeed, single.

But why is that? Why can’t we just accept the fact that there is no shame in saying that we haven’t found the right person and we’d rather be by ourselves? Why can’t girls be allowed to say they want to be alone without being accused of being bitter—and why are those who dare to state boldly and clearly that they’d rather be independent and self-reliant considered such a rare and strange occurrence, and are looked upon with defiance and condescension?

I think that instead of telling you that you need that “Happy Ending” in order to be happy—i.e., the guy on his knees professing his deep-seeded and passionate love for you, which is the perfect balance between finding you extremely sexy yet being all the while absolutely fascinated by the person you are inside—, the message that should be passed along is that you will never, ever, ever be happy with someone until you have found the strength to be happy with yourself. Relying on others for your happiness is the biggest mistake anyone can make because others are careless with it, and only you know what will make you happy. A relationship will never solve all your issues—it’s a bonus, not a solution. I think that couples are all about finding someone to accompany you along your own personal journey, but they shouldn’t be the journey.

It’s nice to walk with someone by your side, but you shouldn’t need them there. You should be able to walk alone and stand for yourself and your beliefs. Then, if you pick up Patrick Dempsey along the way and he offers to tag along, who are you to refuse?

Truthfully, the most important thing I have learned in my short lifespan is that everyone has an idea of what amount of love they deserve; and you shouldn’t settle for anything less than that minimum quota, because it just wouldn’t be fair to ourselves.

We only get one life, and we should do whatever we can to make sure it’s as good as it can be. I think we owe ourselves that much.


Author: Ludovica De Gaudenzi
Email: ludodegaudenzi@gmail.com
Author Bio: Ludovica – twenty-two year old Italian architecture student living in the big city.
When not eating pizza or making models, enjoys drawing and writing about pseudo-philosophical things.
Generally known to make very cynical and inappropriate comments around people and also strongly believes in brutal honesty; has a strong passion for sarcasm, bad jokes, oversize knitwear and walking about looking for new places and inspiration.
Link to social media or website: http://instagram.com/ludoveeca_



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