Women Love Music Too

Ah, reboots. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we want to feel all the old feels with a revamped cast of characters? Why is the past so elusive and exotic when the present is our story now? Who’s to say?

So I’ve been watching Hulu’s remake/reboot/revamp of Nick Hornby’s book and later movie High Fidelity. Admittedly I never read the book, but I loved the movie when it came out. Rob (the main character played by John Cusack in the movie, now Zoe Kravitz in the Hulu series) spoke to me in some dumb way I guess because yes, I too was neurotic about relationships and obsessed with music! I only realize now that Cusack’s character was more than a little problematic and self-indulgent. He became the epitome of the type of men I would be attracted to for many years.

I recently read Pitchfork’s take on the new series – and while I have my own problem with Pitchfork as a whole there are some solid points in the piece written by Jullian Maps. She writes:

“There’s a specific strain of toxic masculinity that lurks underneath the surface of, and is core to, the music fandom in High Fidelity. It’s the kind where men who struggle with conveying their feelings turn to their record collections as emotional support blankets. They dole out their music knowledge like baseball-card statistics and treat women as fair-weather fans who don’t even know the rules. (Many women critics I know prefer not to publicly rank their favorite music, which likely has something to do with how we’ve been condescended to in the past.) It doesn’t exactly help that the movie—arguably the first quintessentially ’00s-hipster rom-com—was successful enough to turn this argumentative mode of listenership into a full-blown cliché.”

If this isn’t the painted picture of the early 20s me sitting in frat houses listening to guys hammering Busch Lights wax poetic about The Strokes and Mars Volta then I don’t know what is.

I feel like most women have maybe made this mistake for one reason or another. I mean who hasn’t wanted to scream at one point WOMEN LOVE MUSIC TOO! And not just because we want to fuck the band/crew/artist/venue owner. We legitimately want to talk to someone about music but get pushed aside as Chad mansplains why The Beatle’s White Album is so expensive.

Growing up in the late 2000s punk/metalcore/post-hardcore scene (I know, I know) the ulterior motives of any female were assumed. Scene girls supposedly hung out at shows to show off their extensions and eye make-up. I’ve been this girl – but with no extensions and no desire to be a sex object. I was there most likely to either hang out with my friends or hear a band that really moved me in me some way. I wasn’t always there for the art – but I definitely wanted to know everything about it. I once screamed at a coked-up frat guy “Don’t talk to me unless you are talking to me about music!”. He was annoying and now that I think about it not actually a part of the frat – just mooched off the booze train.

When I get into something whether it be a person, place, or thing – I must know as much about it as possible. I don’t know if this is a result of watching Jeopardy with my father for so many years or a neurotic weird thing I do to feel safe and/or superior. It’s a fun trait. Sometimes it’s a little obsessive – but nothing feels better than a deep dive on French black metal at 2 am.

I went to a party recently with my boyfriend to hang out with a former co-worker. We ate tacos and sang some songs. At one point I found myself in the garage talking about the obscure mash-up group Legion of Doom while everyone else took selfies in the living room. Did I feel a little weird? No. This is always where I’ve ended up – with the music.

If you like this article, then you should check out: https://www.harnessmagazine.com/the-advantages-of-female-leadership/

by Rebecca B.

Rebecca is a 30 something living in Columbus Ohio with her floof orange cat and too many cardigans. She has written online about her life for over 13 years via various blogs. You can find her plucking her brows in a Kroger parking lot somewhere near you.


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