I’d never loved anyone til you.
Fearless in my pursuit of you;
I was afraid of everything but you.
Fearless in showing the world
My big heavy heart and how much
It wanted you.
Always striving to be
Trusted by you,
Always working to be
Your safe haven.
You brought out my worst parts.
I allowed you to hurt me.
Always taking the blow
Always placating the worst
Parts of you.
Your walls were stronger than mine.
No, they were stubborn and unforgiving;
Cruel and unrelenting.
You called yourself a rock,
Not because you were firm or steady
But for your lack of ability
But you forget,
Rocks become smooth over time.
You couldn’t roll with the flow
But preferred it to crash over you
While you sat
Unmoving and silent,
For my hand to lift you up
You were not worthy of love.
What a liar you were.
You were the only one I’d ever held,
The only one I wanted.
You were the only one to break my heart,
The only one timid enough
To make me brave.
But when I looked into your mosaic reflection,
I could see our future where you never
Saw your own,
And when I showed you affection,
You melted beneath these fingers
That have sown
Up a thousand tiny holes
In ancient pain that still lingers.
Brought out my very best parts.
In this big heavy heart
That survives memories
And still aches and still breaks
For all I could have been
And once was,
And still reminds me
You’re the only one
I’ve ever loved.