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Mental Health

When Love Fails, Learn To Grow

The very principle of the word “love” is that there are no guidelines to begin with. There are no rules about who you should or shouldn’t decide to love. There are only more ways to learn how to love, and it starts with seeking growth from the ruins of every failed attempt you’ve experienced.

“How to love” should be the most searched topic on Google, instead of “how to fall in love with someone.” However, learning how to love must start within your soul. What does it need? How can you experience more growth in areas of your heart that are still hanging on to pain? These two questions constantly echo in my mind when my soul needs attention. You should always be able to answer these questions before you decide to love, or when the person you thought you loved isn’t the right one.

The truth is, the right one doesn’t really exist. You see, the only “right” person you have control over is yourself. The way you love is learned, and when you turn failed attempts into experiences of growth, it doesn’t matter whether they left or stayed—they immediately become the right people you were supposed to meet.

One golden principle we must learn to live by is, “in the beginning, it is you, in the middle is you, and in the end, is you.” You are the center of the universe, in the same way that our capabilities to grow are in the center of our discernment to stop patterns of self-sabotage. Your headspace is valuable for the future. What you decide to plant is the fruit you will reap. What you decide to keep and learn from failed attempts at love is what will follow you in every relationship. We all have gold souls to share, but you won’t find it within someone else before you harness it within yourself first. You are the right one, filled with the right experiences, and the right decisions. Choose to grow from the past, feed yourself from the present and bloom yourself for the future. Love never fails to deliver what it was initially there to give you: a better understanding of who you are slowly blooming into.

Like this post? View similar content here: Unrealistic Qualities for an ‘Ideal’ Partner
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by Hilda Melissa Coleman

an activist, poet, and writer for Thought Catalog–known as the-girl-with-sad-eyes-but-good-vibes. she lives on the edge of beauty and in between the chaos of things. she sees being vulnerable as a sign of strength. she believes this is the truth about writers: "we are the brave ones, the ones who take risks in love, and the ones who turn the failed attempts into rich poetry."


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