Ever since the first online chatrooms allowed people to exchange communication, there’s been a discussion about the influence of internet technology on dating and human relations in general. Why people get disappointed when they meet in real life for the first time if things were going so well online? Does our online presence help us deceive or do people create their fantasies according to what they see on our profile? Should we expect to meet the person we know from our inbox or expect an entirely different experience of the same character.
This and many questions are just a few of many we need to ask ourselves in order to prepare ourselves for our first date with someone we met online. In this article, we’re going to share a few tips that should make the clash with reality much easier to handle.
The online world is full of danger, as well as wonders, so make sure you know you can feel safe along with that person. Public places are safe enough, but bad things happen to people in malls, museums, and college campuses all the time.
The author of “The Illusion of Intimacy: Problem of the world of online dating” states that people form illusions of persons they meet online. What we see, what we receive, it all affects the image we create and it’s important to understand that it’s a bit blurry until we meet in real life. Therefore, try and make it as least blurry as you can until you decide to go on a date.
Don’t expect the same experience
Nature has a way with all living things, and we humans have one of the most complex connections in our brain as one of nature’s gifts. When we meet someone, we do more than looking and listening. We smell that person, we feel their energy, we touch their skin and we share the same space.
People get nervous before new experiences, and that’s just the signal our brain is sending us before we go on a first date. Expecting to see the same individual you know from a picture might end up in a disappointment simply because the photo is several months old, and a person got a new haircut.
This is a good way to avoid disappointment because we should understand that the other party is experiencing you in a new way, too, so that the link you were feeling online could be a bit thinner or even thicker, depending on how the date goes.
Keep in mind the partner’s boundaries
Most of us form online contacts easily, however, going out on a date is a decision each of us makes in our own way. Even though your partner might be open and close to you online, it’s fair to be less enthusiastic about the chance to hit it off on the first date. Some people are withdrawn when they meet in real life, others could transfer the same energy from the online world or feel uncomfortable feeling it real life.
We should expect and respect boundaries but it’s not always clever to ask before the date if there are any, because that might reflect badly on the course of the date and turn the person away from us because it would appear as if we’re preparing a strategy. It’s better to simply let the partner guide you towards as the time goes.
The online world is not entirely a theater of false representations, it’s also a useful socialization tool for those of us who prefer initializing contact from a safe environment. The reality of online relationships depends in great measure on those who build contact and why they do it. To avoid disappointment, we must know ourselves and set proper defenses on time.