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suffering
Poetry

Suffering The Silent Storm

They say “happiness is a choice’ and ‘choose happiness.”  

They make it sound so easy. 

They might as well say “your feelings are not valid.”   

“Oh that sadness, that heavy feeling in your soul, that all-consuming darkness…just decide to not feel that anymore.” 

Like it’ll just go away if you choose to just be happy.  

I don’t know about you, but that’s not something that I can get myself to believe.  

In all honesty, I think sayings like that are detrimental to those suffering.  

Sure you could wake up and try and be positive about things.  

You could plaster on a smile and go about your day as if nothing can stop you.  

When someone asks how you’re doing, you can continue to give the socially acceptable answer of “fine thanks” or “can’t complain.” 

But what does that really do in the end?  

You might just be suppressing real issues.  

If you’re anything like me, those “choose happy” sayings actually make it a bit worse.  

I began to question myself more than ever.  

Is it that easy?  

If it is, why can’t I just choose happy?  

How come others can so easily be cleansed of the negativity by just deciding not to let it affect them anymore? Maybe nothing’s wrong.  

Perhaps I just need to start practicing being happy.  

I can’t tell anyone how I’m feeling.  

Maybe I’m just being dramatic.  

Maybe it’s just a phase.  

I can’t tell anyone.  

What if nothing is wrong and I end up embarrassed. 

What if I tell someone and they tell me a story of someone “who’s had it worse.”  

Who’s “been through more than you.”  

If someone compares the suffering of one to the suffering of another, it’s time to let that person leave your life.   

When I hint at it to others, they just tell me “don’t think about it” or just “look at the positives.”  

Again, making it appear easy. Like flipping a switch on and off.  

To me, that would be like asking me to stop a storm.  

Just wake up and decide “no, no storm today.” 

“A storm would be inconvenient today, so I’ll just think it away.”  

The more people believe in sayings like those and the more people give empty pieces of advice, the stronger the storm.  

If it were that easy, wouldn’t there be more genuinely happy people on the world?  

Until others are able to grasp the realization of this phenomenon, others, like myself, will continue to suffer the storm. 

Alone.  

In silence.  

 

 

Author: Amy Loftus
Email:  aloftuss@gmail.com
Author Bio: Just a girl trying to find a place in this world.

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