Diane Von Furstenberg wisely said:
“I didn’t always know what I wanted to do, but I knew the kind of woman I wanted to be.”
Each and every single woman has special traits that distinguish her and set her apart by her beauty and singularity. There is no woman like me, just as there is no other woman like you. An even though we might not be where we are meant to be yet, we all know who we are and who we want to be. This, by itself, already gives us an immensurable value.
When I was younger, in my final year of high school, I acquired the habit of searching for inspiration for everything I would do. I knew the kind of woman I wanted to be: elegant, intelligent, career-driven but still quite feminine – yet, I didn’t know how to become her. I would read books and blogs and try to apply what I’ve learned. I would record my own voice trying to change my accent to one I’d like better. I would study and write my notes just like a blogger I liked did. Then I would apply to the same college where another one went. I would only eat what I knew it was healthy according to that girl I saw on YouTube. I would watch women around me, trying to read and learn their body language so I could emulate their behavior in the mirror at my bedroom.
I became addicted to inspiration. I always needed more from other women so I could create my own identity. There wasn’t a real me, just pieces of other women that I would carefully choose to bring into my life. I did this for a couple of years until I realized I couldn’t find any more inspiration for who I was trying to become. For a little while, I panicked. How could I become the woman I wanted to be if I couldn’t see other women doing what I wanted to do?
It took me some time to realize that I would never be able to find a perfect inspiration for me to become my future self. I didn’t know, at that moment, that I was the only woman that could show me how to become who I wanted to be.
I was meant to become my own inspiration.
Today, I can assure you, there is no amount of inspiration you can gather – be it online, from books or through other women in your daily life – that would be enough for you to follow through. We are not compilations of other women’s’ life. We are the result of our own choices and circumstances. We must not compare ourselves with other women, in fact, we cannot, since it would never be fair.
Surely, that doesn’t mean we must never look up to another woman for inspiration. It’s healthy to see something good and want to have it or be it as well. But remember: your dreams are your dreams only. The family you grew up in, the friends you have, every single experience in your life is solemnly yours. No one can live up to this but you. That woman you want to become? She is you! You are already her.
Celebrate your own uniqueness, realize you are one of a kind – a single exclusive luxury item no one that can ever recreate. You don’t have to copy another woman’s life to be successful, you already are. You don’t have to buy every single beauty product to look just like that famous beauty guru, you have your own singular beauty. You don’t have to give into peer pressure or conform to society’s standards. Search into your soul to find what makes you happy and live accordingly. You may not realize, but by doing this, you might become someone’s inspiration.
Author: Anna Lande
Author Bio: Anna Lande is a Southern Brazilian college girl, professional software analyst and developer, a fiancée and a lover of books, classical art and music, italian food and femininity. She writes weekly at her blog Discreta Elegância (PT-BR), inspiring women of all ages to celebrate their unique beauty and become elegant, refined and successful divas.
Link to social media or website: http://discretaelegancia.wordpress.com/