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YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL, JUST NOT ALL AT ONCE…WRONG

YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL, JUST NOT ALL AT ONCE…WRONG

I heard a saying a few years ago that really resonated, and I latched onto it: “you can have it all, just not all at once.” I was wrong! 

The statement was made in relation that not all of your life can be all that you want it to be at once. There will always be something that is sacrificed while other areas are peaking, and that’s ok. It pretty much nails the definition of sacrifice: give up (something valued) for the sake of other considerations.  Just accept it knowing other areas are doing great and you can’t have everything. 

I latched onto this at the time because it was what I needed to hear. It made it ‘ok’ in my mind to sacrifice happiness in some areas and it gave me an excuse. I created that belief. It wasn’t a belief that I was happy with those areas or that I’d accepted it for what it was. It was a belief that I wasn’t happy with them, but that I couldn’t possibly be happy with all areas at once because sacrifice needed to happen. How wrong I was! 

Life isn’t about sacrifices, it’s about making decisions that you are comfortable with, knowing the repercussions of each decision. When you make those decisions, you need to understand your true values and beliefs that are driving the decision and where your priorities are. There is always that feeling of failure associated with sacrifice. Making a decision based on your drivers is a conscious and empowered, successful thought. You have weighed it up, prioritized and are happy with the decision you have made. Own your decision – happily! 

Here are my 5 simple tips to ending sacrifice or failure and making empowered, successful decisions: 

  1. Take it back to the basics 

The Wheel of Life is a basic, yet very powerful self-coaching tool that I personally do every quarter to ‘check-in’ on the balance in my life and progress to goals. It’s simply rating each area of your life between 1 to 10 on where it currently sits, with 10 being absolutely perfect. A 10 looks totally different for everyone as it’s based on your own values and beliefs—so it’s important when doing it to truly understand your values and beliefs, where they come from, if they make you happy and if they’re realistic.

2. Own your decisions, no excuses

Your life needs balance in all areas. Prioritize the balance based on what you value today. This is not a forever decision, this is a today decision. You do what you are happy to do today after weighing up all of the factors. This can change in 1 month, 1 year, 5 years. They are your decisions and therefore you can change them whenever you like, but own that decision and be happy with it knowing it is the right one at the time. 

3. Don’t compare yourself to others 

This one is obvious yet so hard to master. Life is not a competition. The only competitor in your race is you. All you need to do to win is believe that you are a winner. It really is that simple. The only thing holding you back is your belief that you aren’t. So either change your beliefs or step up to the starting block and make the change that is required happen.

4. Be realistic 

My realization that I’m 40 this year and really happy with everything I have achieved took a little longer than it should have. I’m no longer 21 (although I had my kids convinced I was 21 until I turned 30) and it’s good that my life and body doesn’t look like it did then, nor does it need to for me to be happy. Be realistic in what perfect or successful looks like for you. Society’s idea of perfect will be very different. Perfect health for you might not look like ripped abs on the cover of Fitness Magazine.

5. Find your ‘why’ 

Ever notice how the sunrise looks so much nicer when you are up early to go on holidays compared to going to work? Everything seems so much nicer and better when you are in a good mood and doing something you have chosen to do — not something you are forced or told to do. Finding your ‘why’ and living with passion will make all parts of your life look so much better. A positive mindset automatically sees the positives first. Your adrenaline and endorphins are powering and you’re on a high. There is no room for negativity or sacrifice. 

Sometimes we only hear what we want to hear at the time. What are you currently hearing? Is it helping you or is it a sacrifice? Maybe it’s time to ‘check in’ on your values and beliefs and set some goals to make sure your wheel is rolling nice and smooth. 

 

 

Author: Amy Jacobson 
Bio: Amy’s ‘y’ is inspirational leadership and emotional intelligence delivered through corporate consulting, keynote speaking, group training and career coaching. To find out more about Amy visit her website.
Link to social media and website: www.findingyoury.com.au | Instagram @fingingyoury_amy | Facebook @fingingyoury | LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/amy-jacobson-34b7a170/

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13 Comments

  1. Fantastic article Amy! Some great advice here.

    Reply
    • Thanks Kate! Love that you got so much out of it 😊

      Reply
    • Thanks Kate!! I love that you took so much out of it

      Reply
  2. Spot on. It’s so easy for people to get stuck on the wrong wheel – the hamster wheel, furiously peddling away and getting nowhere. We need people like you to encourage us to get off ‘that’ wheel. Seeing you in action makes it for people to believe that it is all possible. Great advice and well written. You are an inspiration Amy, fantastic work.

    Reply
    • The wheel is a viscous circle isn’t it Karen. You betcha anything is possible! Thanks for reading and commenting

      Reply
  3. Loved this article! A great reminder to focus on the positive to achieve your goals.

    Reply
    • Yes Anna the positive is where it’s all at!!

      Reply
  4. What a great article! Really made me change the way I think! Thank you.

    Reply
    • That’s great to hear Samantha!! We always need to challenge the way we think

      Reply
  5. Some really useful tips in there Amy. Loved reading that article.

    Reply
    • Great to hear Hayley! Have an awesome day

      Reply
  6. Great article. We compare ourselves a lot to other people’s sucesses and get lost in what we have already achieved.

    Reply
    • Comparison is a killer isn’t it Clarissa!! The only person we should compare to ourselves and our successes

      Reply

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