The start of a new year is a time where we are throttled into the arena of possibility mixed with uncertainty and the pressure to decide what we should change, give up, or resolve to do. You may be scrolling through Instagram posts that are encouraging you to pick a word, a mantra, or a goal for the new year. These are all great practices. But before you jump in, I have one question for you: why?
Why do you want to change? Why do you want to show up differently in the new year? Why are you choosing that word, mantra or goal?
This time of year we are inundated with messages that entice us to be a different, happier, thinner, richer, prettier, more successful version of ourselves. If you’re like me and follow yogis, coaches, authors and other inspiring beings on the various social media platforms, you may have a feed full of messages to resolve yourself in the new year.
Whether we realize it or not, these messages influence how we live our lives. When you pause to really think about it, is that what YOU want or is that the box others want to place you in? When we start being driven by the definitions and expectations of others – be it society, culture, relationships, work or that girl with 150k followers – we give away our power and thus live our lives on other people’s terms.
But here’s the thing, you already have everything you need within you. You are not broken and there is nothing about you that needs to be resolved or fixed. You can reclaim who you are and what you want in the new year by doing one simple thing: getting clear on your why. Getting clear on your why is a practice that can help you press pause and get real with yourself in order to start living a life on your own terms and no one else’s. It’s not about resolving, it’s about evolving.
Here are 5 ways you can deepen your connection to your why and choose to evolve rather than resolve in 2018…
Give yourself permission.
If you need to pick up one habit in 2018, allow it to be this. I believe that wherever or whenever we begin, it all starts with writing yourself a permission slip. Borrowed from author, Brene Brown, this ritual is a practice that allows you to do, be or feel whatever it is you need in the moment. Because real talk: permission isn’t going to be something given to you by a person or experience outside yourself. You have to give yourself permission and continue to do so each day. Permission slips are your starting point, your reality check, your loving reminder that you can lay down what doesn’t serve you and just be, do or feel whatever it is YOU need in that moment. It is the first step forward in reclaiming your power and living life on your own terms.
Get real with yourself.
We can’t go a day without hearing someone say “live your best life”. But what does that really mean? Other people can tell you what it means to them, but no one can define “your best life” except you. And you know how to start? Yep, you guessed it, asking yourself why. To begin, you have to get real with yourself; get real with who you are, what you want, and where you want to go. Then with everything that comes up, keep asking yourself why. Even if you sound like a 2 year old on repeat, each time you ask, you uncover another layer getting closer to the core of who you are-your soul. And let’s be clear about something, you can’t get real with yourself without acknowledging your BS, your fear, and how you are holding yourself back. Be gentle with yourself and allow this to be a radical act of self love. When you unravel the stories of who you should be and the box it put you in, you make room to show up and reclaim what you want and why. When you live in alignment with your authentic self (aka: your soul) then you really are living your best life, because it is defined by YOU.
Get clear on how you want to feel.
Danielle LaPorte says it best, “Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have”. So, how do YOU want to feel? Feel all your feelings and then decide what you want more of in your life. Then, ask yourself why you want to feel that way. For example, I know that joy and courage are two feelings I crave to feel on the daily. Because when I feel joy I am connected to my higher self and when I feel courageous, I am tapped into my personal power. So when I do things that cause joy and courage, I feel grounded in who I am and feel empowered to go after what I want. No one can tell you how to feel, only you can decide that. Don’t start the new year should’ing all over yourself – get clear on how you want to feel and why, then go do the things that generate those feelings.
Get rooted in your soul values.
As humans, most of us share a common home base of values (eg: safety, love, family, etc.). But what about your individual soul values? Your soul values are your inner compass; the driving force behind why you do what you do. Creating soul values is the foundation of your overall why. When you get clear on what you want (i.e. what you value), then you can start to set visions, goals and intentions each day that are aligned with your values. And when you live in alignment with your values, you begin to shift into your power, thus creating a life you love. Getting clear on your soul values and taking it a step further to understand why you hold these values takes time and space. Be sure to give yourself permission to come back to this space so that you feel truly connected to your soul values and of course, the why behind them. (Please note: your soul values may change with the season of your life).
Learn a new language.
Words create your reality. How you talk TO yourself and how you talk ABOUT yourself can determine whether or not you are harnessing your power or giving it away. In order to get clear on your why, the language you use matters. When you think about words like resolution, goal, values- these words all may generate different meanings, images or old stories for you. Instead of allowing that to prevent or derail you from engaging in the practice, choose to redefine them. Make the thesaurus your friend and find a new word that feels good to you and then redefine it on your terms. The more you connect to the language you use, the closer you stay connected to your why. Make your own damn rules.
No one can (including me) can tell you that they know best-because no one knows you better than YOU. What I do know is that you have a fierce power within you that you can access at any time in order to redefine and reclaim what it means to live life on your own terms. When we live soul connected, we are more likely to go after big dreams and show up as our best selves because we are rooted in knowing who we are and what we want. It all starts with asking yourself why. Cheers to 2018: may you be you, do you, for YOU.
Author: Katie Kurtz
Author Bio: Katie Kurtz is an Internationally Certified Life Coach and speaker who helps women to connect with their authentic selves + courageously live life on their own terms. She is the founder of Soul Connect, a coaching + connection movement that is redefining how women connect to themselves and each other. Through her coaching, in person gatherings, workshops + collaborations, Katie’s authentic spirit and gift as a connector allows her to create space for women to be themselves, own their humanness, and come alive to their personal power. Katie resides in Cleveland, Ohio but connects with women worldwide.
Link to social media or website: http://www.soulconnecttribe.com