Different Libidos in a Relationship: 7 Tips to Handle That

Sometimes we are afraid of being hurt because we’ve been hurt before. Because of that, we close ourselves up or act scared as we feel uncertain and anxious. However, that’s not the best way to handle such a situation.

Mismatched libido is a common relationship problem, which often, when unhandled, can build tension between the partners. While for some, adapting to their partner’s needs is no big deal, it can be a significant problem for others. Fortunately, there are always solutions for it. Seeing a therapist, experimenting in bed, setting the right mood – those and some other tips may be very helpful. Nevertheless, there’s something more important to consider.

It is a sensitive and personal issue, and often very difficult to deal with. However, when both partners care about their relationship, they can work through many problems – and communication is always the key. Improving it is the first step in dealing with any personal issues. Want to learn more about it and find out how to collaborate in bed? Read on!

Experiment in Bed

The more you experiment with sex, the more satisfied you are likely to become. There are many things that make sex exciting for most people, but you need to find out what those things are for both of you first, otherwise you’ll just be guessing. For example, some couples like using toys or role playing while some don’t, some like watching porn together while others don’t want anything even close to porn in their bedroom, etc.

Alternatively, if you want to take a different route, you could check out love doll torsos and see where you end up. So try some new things and see what turns both of you on the most. It will definitely help spice things up in the bedroom, which can lead to improvement of your libido as well.

Be Honest With Your Partner and Yourself

One of the best ways to boost up libido of both partners is to start being honest with yourself and your loved one. It may not sound very exciting, but it is an effective solution. Honesty is something that should always be there between both of you, especially when it comes to emotions and feelings.

After all, how can you expect to improve your relationship if you are hiding the things you feel? And if you really want to build a strong bond with your partner, you should let them know about your fears. And keep in mind that honesty is the best policy here.

Don’t Try to Change Your Partner

It might be very tempting to try to change your partner into someone he or she is not. But it rarely works out. And it is even worse when it comes to something that is very personal. However, although change might not come easy, you can surely try to change your attitude for the better. And if that involves improving communication skills or sexual ability as well, then it is certainly worth a try.

Accept Your Partner’s Needs and Desires

It is not easy for a person who doesn’t like sex that much to get involved in it every other day. And conversely, it is not easy for a person who loves sex and always wants it to control their feelings and desires sometimes. However, a successful relationship requires you to compromise, and it should apply to both partners.

Communicate Your Own Needs and Desires

Don’t keep them to yourself. Dealing with personal issues is usually easier when both partners talk about them. And communication is what builds trust and understanding between partners. It helps develop an emotional bond between both of you. And that is exactly where a strong libido comes from – from emotions and understanding. Try to build communication in order to understand one another better and give each other what you need most.


Try being honest and open about your fears – after all, we all understand why some of us are scared to be hurt again. If your partner has any feelings for you at all, they will try not to hurt you again, even if you might be full of uncertainty and anxiety. Sure, sex is an important part of most relationships, but mismatched libidos don’t have to bring an end to an otherwise healthy and happy relationship. Still, it doesn’t mean that you won’t have to put any effort into improving the current state of affairs.

On the other hand, if it’s just that your partner genuinely isn’t interested in having sex as often as you would like them to be, then there’s nothing wrong with having a talk about it and asking them what they’re willing to do to deal with this situation You may end up being pleasantly surprised! If they understand how much love-making matters to you, then they might find alternative ways to make you happy. But even if you don’t get any positive results out of this conversation, at least you tried! Remember that relationships are never easy, but with proper communication, even the most troubling issues can be solved.

by Harness Editor

Harness believes that freedom of expression equals female empowerment. The truth? We’re a badass authentic community of fierce women, and we exist to help your voice be heard. Harness is here to be your safe haven. A place to shed the competition, the insecurities. This is a place to rise by lifting others. This is who we are.


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