Everyone breaks me because everyone can. I wear my heart on my sleeves so everyone can see, I have nothing to hide but I should, I guess. I should build a wall or list out my expectations in love, relationships and friendships then stand by them but I really don’t know how to. This is who I am and this is how I love. You never have to be deserving, there is no being worthy of my love. I give it to anyone who presents themselves as needy of my affection, to anyone who shows me the slightest bit of kindness and then I feel like I owe them my own and for their momentary refuge I offer a lifetime’s haven. I love and love and give and give simply because it is my nature to be lover and giver. I displace myself to put them on, finding my own happiness in theirs. This is my virtue or maybe it is my flaw.
I am radical in love, ignoring red flags or cautionary words from onlookers, I never know when to draw the line, I constantly lose myself to accommodate the object of my love. When wronged ,I look to moments when they had made even the most miniature gestures of goodness, I make excuses for them over and over. I fictionalize in me that somehow they would change seeing how real my love is or how much I would give to make them comfortable but there are bad people who have mortgaged conscience for self gain, they keep you there because you attend to their distress calls, I overlook all this when I dive in love. This is what love should be right? Or maybe not, love is a game and it’s dynamics state that if there was no tussle then there is no value, who wants an easy win after all?a harder win makes the game worth your time. For them love is a game, they make me out to be easy and go for bigger fish. Hence this is my flaw and here is my downfall.
