You’ve been in a roller coaster ride of emotions. You’ve danced through the incessant swing of letting go and holding on. You feel exhausted from the relationship but isn’t just ready to throw in the towel and I say I had enough. You are still in love – truly, madly, deeply – but you feel that your love tank is slowly draining. Your heart has been running on an almost empty tank from giving and giving without receiving anything back in return. You are aware that in any successful, fulfilling and meaningful relationships it is not about giving and taking but in giving and giving with both parties doing it…filling each other’s love tank willingly, enthusiastically. You find that, at this time, you are the only one giving.
Your heart is tired, drained, exhausted, and yet you still want to go on, to hold on to anything that can give you hope that everything will work out just fine in the end. You feel compelled to hold on because you love him and somehow you are hoping he will come around from giving you the silent treatment. Somehow you still believe that your love will be enough to get you through and turn things around. You still hope that his passion for you will return if you are just patient enough to wait. “Give him just a little more time and he will be the person that he once was,” you tell yourself.
But that person has long been gone…and you are left on your own. He may still be physically present with you, but his passion for you has slowly been diminished, if not altogether extinguished.
“You still love him,” you can hear your heart saying.
“Let him go and move on. Don’t hold on anymore to something that is no longer there,” your mind says.
“Easier said than done,” you reply.
At this point, you know that it is better not to follow your heart and instead heed the wisdom of your mind…that sometimes it is better to stick with what you know is the right thing to do than to follow your heart.
You feel conflicted…torn apart by what you feel and what you think is right. You cry yourself at night hoping that tears would ease your pain away, hoping that in the morning everything will be back to what it was. Yet you wake up drained and exhausted and still feeling empty and disconnected.
However, today, you decided to do something.
Today, you decided to walk away from all the drama that is slowly unfolding in your life.
You realized you had enough. Enough of the silent treatment. Enough of the alibis, lies and excuses. Enough of being ignored and neglected. Enough of the feeling that it is your fault.
You had given him the power that made you feel you are not good enough.
Today you are taking your power back. You tell yourself you are good enough. Not too much , too intense, too empathetic, too obsessive, too emotional.
Today you remind yourself that you love him, but you are letting him go.
You are letting him go because you realized you are not the one who can give the love that he needs, that you just cannot force him to stay.
You are letting him go because you are creating a space in your life for love to grow back for yourself and a space for those who are capable of loving you as much as you love them.
You are letting him go because you finally realized your worth that you deserve better.
You love him still, but you realized that you need to love yourself first in order for you to love others well, and letting him go is good for your well-being and it is not being selfish. It is called self-care.
You love him, but it’s time to say goodbye.