As children and well into our adulthood, we look at our parents as these G.O.A.T.S. (God Of All Things) We think they’ve been through it all, done it all and should have all the answers to life’s problems. I mean, they’ve lived long enough to know at least the major lessons of life; like what to look for when buying a car, getting a loan on a house, what to say on the phone when scheduling a routine doctor’s appointment, etc. Parents seem to be like these sub-human beings capable of saying and doing anything and it’ll be just fine, right? Wrong! For those that haven’t came to the realization yet, I am so sorry for busting your little precious bubbles, but, your parents are PEOPLE too. Yes, they are still growing and evolving just like you and me. This may be a hard concept to wrap your head around for some because for years you’ve looked at your parents as being just that, your parents. Take the time to actually sit down and talk to one or both of them and you’ll see that they too have feelings of insecurity, fear, doubt, and dreams they’ll still wish to see into fruition. Your parents are there to be your guiding light when the world gets you down. But we all need to remember, mama/papa, are still students to the game too.
I for one came to this realization about a few years ago when my parents were in the middle of their separation. Them splitting up didn’t really bother me too much, however, their comfortability to share their emotional turmoils towards one another to me was shocking. Don’t get me wrong, I was flattered that they felt at ease talking to me about their emotions, but I must say, I was torn between who fell out of love first and who tried to work things out for the better of the relationship. Fast forward to the present, I was running some things over to my dad about some plans of mine and my mother came up in conversation. He went on to tell me how my sister was a bit obsessed with her boyfriend and how it’s all about him. I asked if that was a bad thing, he said and I quote, “Hell nah!” Then he said when my mother had all of us, she seemed to forgot about him, just taking care of us was enough. I guess seeing my sister all up in her man’s skin was a bit triggering for my father. At that moment, I couldn’t help but to think back into my childhood to see if I unconsciously noticed anything off putting about their relationship. I can probably count on one hand where I’ve seen my parents show each other any kind of intimacy. Then I asked, “Well, dad, wasn’t it like that before ya’ll got married?” He said no, and it the realization for their incompatibility came years later. I couldn’t help but to feel some type of pity for the both of them. No one wants to hear that their parents are hurting, especially if they’ve been in pain for so long.
In my mind, I’m like how come ya’ll didn’t talk about your feelings during the marriage? But I didn’t ask. I guess I was afraid too. The point is, on that day I was hit with the fact that my dad had FEELINGS. I didn’t notice him being very emotional growing up, my mom either. I noticed by talking to my mother, that she doesn’t know how to handle sensitivity, dislikes confrontation, and one of her love languages is Acts of Service. These are conversations two people need to have before getting married. I’ve picked up on it during my spiritual journey. Thankfully, in this generation, we have the access and knowledge to practice what self love/spirituality really means and all that it comes with. Back in those days, the relationship goals meant to get a good job until you retire and raise some kids. Now! I hope you’ve healed some of your childhood traumas and did your shadow work! I hope you’ve meditated that bad energy off your spirit today before you walk into my house! Because if you didn’t, you gotta go and I’m sageing my space right after. Ase. There’s just certain matters people these days aren’t putting up with when it comes to people anymore. Our parents were raised in a different time, so their mentalities and reasons were different for getting together.
We now better now. This generation has access to so much information that there isn’t an excuse to not know anything about love languages and therapy. Also, my generation and the one after seems to be much more empathetic, sympathetic and outgoing than the last, so, I believe most of us are taking relationships more seriously, or not having any at all and just living. However, this has led to a little problem in my generation of peoples as far as finding love. Everyone is afraid of getting hurt to the point where it’s normal to sex somebody, get what you want, and then blast it on social media later. Certain people are leaving others broken hearted with trust issues making harder the next person. But, that’s a whole ‘nother article. The point I am trying to make here is that even though your parents have maybe twenty plus years on you in this game we call life, they are still students and are learning and evolving just like you. There’s going to be many things they don’t know and they have a right to their own opinion. Nevertheless, you also have to understand this, your mother carried you in her body for nine months, (both parents) wiped your butt and your tears, dealt with your complex personality, changed herself mentally and emotionally in order to be better for you (hopefully), made sure you ate, went to school, etc. They have a particular, unconditional attachment to you that only the universe has words for; so don’t go calling your parents stupid and saying they don’t know shit! They just want to protect you because they love you unconditional and you are literally their creation, no matter how old you are. Take whatever they have to say into consideration and of course make your own decisions. DO NOT HURT THEM! Parents are only here for a little while, so you better enjoy them while you have them. I know I am. I hope all of you are doing well and enjoyed this little number. Let me know when you made the discovery that your parents are indeed just like you. Until next time…