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Poetry & Art

Temporary

Temporary

This is all temporary 

At least it’s what I like to believe 

I can’t seem to feel 

How did I become this bitter, negative person

That wasn’t who I was 

Can they tell… Can they tell how bitter I’ve become?

This is making me self conscious

Distancing myself even more from the person I was

AND the people around me

 

The thing is I was bitter before we all fell into temporary

Temporary for me is a survival mode

Technically the only way of living I know

It’s sad to say, but over the last decade, I have been living in several temporaries

They all have an average cycle of two to three years 

When this one will end I don’t know 

And if this one is the last one, probably not

 

Survival mode 

It’s a constant nudge telling me to be at guard 

Worries

All of the worries

Then you can ad all we are supposed to do, nonetheless all we are supposed to be

Now it gets tricky 

Juggling a ball of the uncontrollable, on top of the things that will lead to the end of the temporary

 

Man I’m tired

I want to feel the joy of buying a pumpkin and carve it out

I want to give gifts to everyone I meet

send postcards

take stupid photos of food at restaurants

and videos of the fire works on new years eve knowing I will probably never look at them ever

it is just not a priority

and THAT makes me bitter. 

 

I don’t cry

I do 

But I don’t

When you say you cried the whole time

I ask myself what’s wrong with me? 

Should I be worried? 

 

In all these cycles of temporaries I learn something new

And I’ve learned that I am me

 

I lied

I do feel

and I’m scared

scared for when temporary becomes permanent

Because when that day comes

will my bitterness leave with it?

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by Bare.Sofia

Sofia the bubbly blonde Norwegian. Self proclaimed potato - Norwegian saying, similar to being a swiss army knife. (versatile.) She has a title as an interior decorator, certificate of apprenticeship in Profile design( Graphic design, printing and sign making), an associate degree in fine arts, and 12 years of photography.
She writes poems, lyrics, scripts and short stories on the side of her acting career in Los Angeles.


Website

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