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Relationships

12 Social Media Red Flags in Your Relationship To Avoid 

Your partner texted you a sweet ‘Goodnight, babe!’ and you just turned off your wifi and went to sleep after having a cute conversation with your ‘everything.’ 

However, you couldn’t sleep, so you got back online and planned to write a special message for your lover to make their forthcoming morning a little more endearing. You assumed your partner would be fast asleep, but you see them online!

Well, that’s okay! BUT, you saw them online repeatedly, and not only that, but they also have been posting on social media contrarily. It’s a little disturbing to acknowledge the fact that your partner would instead prioritize social media activities than your text sent an hour ago. 

You recall some of their other weird behaviors that you caught online, which now gives you the foggy vision of major red flags. Oh no! Wait, you are probably overthinking, you assume. 

It’s normal, right? “Stop being so nosy,” you tell yourself. But the nagging feeling doesn’t leave you at rest.

  • The slow and uninteresting texts
  • The lack of effort online
  • Constant engagement with others, but you. 
  • Your partner doesn’t sound like what they used to back in those days. 

Red flags are harmful enough to burn down strong bridges of relationships.

Engage In A Relationship That Reciprocates Your Love

A stitch in time saves nine, and it’s probably the time you should text them, “we need to talk!” or at least interrogate them in the nick of time. I am not sponsoring a thought to spy or question your partner; instead, take necessary decisions and notice these red flag acts of your partner.

Don’t fall in love; fly in love. Love makes you happy; it shouldn’t make you feel unwanted, unworthy, or unnoticeable. An unpassionate relationship can lead to serious health problems and mental trauma. It’s crucial that you engage in youthful and endearing love. 

Anything that gives you a constant dilemma shouldn’t be a part of your life. In this article, we’ll be discussing all the major social media red flags you must avoid at all costs.

Red Flags Vs. Yellow Flags

Red Flags are the warnings responsible for telling you to “Stop! It’s dangerous”; If you witness a red flag in your relationship, put an immediate stop before you conclude things out and take necessary steps. 

Red Flags in a relationship signify that it will be a rough ride if you stay with that specific person, and things might become toxic sooner than later.

Social media red flags may include lewd comments on other profiles, abusive behavior, cheesy remarks from other people, no evidence of your relationship, constant engagement with others, compromising photos or tweets, abuse, etc.

Before dating anyone, it is essential to know the person and discuss the deal-breakers and similar traits. 

On the other hand, Yellow flags consist of situations or habits that are not entirely desirable but still repairable. You both can still hold on to each other by a proper conversation. Defying a reasonable discussion and these minor yellow flags may turn into a vicious cycle of lies.

Yellow flags lie between the green and the red ones, which means there’s still some space left to work things out, and that you or your companion need not fall apart.

Edgar Allan Poe says— “Believe nothing you hear and only one half that you see.” Sometimes, we choose to avoid or unsee these red flags. Many other times, we overthink and create problems that don’t exist in the first place.  

To save you from false conclusive red flags, overthinking, or threatening red flags, we have enlisted 12 MAJOR social media red flags to avoid. 

1. No Connection Between The Partners On The Social Platforms

Social media is becoming the most visited ‘place’ for every human being these days. It has become a vital utility to share our thoughts, emotions, and almost everything about our lives online. But it’s most definitely not a bad thing, and sharing your thoughts online will help you unburden your stressful life. 

Amongst it all, constantly posting about your partner online has its own charisma. We watch couples youthfully share their stories online, and it instantly gives us ‘new couple goals.’ We all desire a relationship that doesn’t scare away from the public and social media displays of affection. 

There’s a significant dopamine rush when we see our partner publicizing our relationship. It doesn’t have to be an essential paramount:

  • Tagging you in romantic posts. 
  • Sharing your pictures online as a proud partner. 
  • Commenting sweetness on your profile. 
  • Posting pictures together, etc. 

However, all these ‘couple goals’ go down the hill if your partner is not ready to acknowledge your existence on social media. 

  • They don’t follow you back on Instagram, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter, etc.
  • Their relationship status remains single. 
  • No posts or pictures concerning you.
  • Denial of your existence or the relationship. 
  • Isn’t available to compliment you on comments

Some tend to put their lives private or, for whatever reasons, don’t socialize themselves much. If your partner is like one, you don’t have to be on pins and needles all the time. It’s just their personality, and you can decide to accept it or break things apart. 

However, if your partner posts other girls/boys/parties status, and everything else except for you, then that’s a red flag! 

Your partner is hiding your relationship from everyone; that is, they aren’t sure about you, which may lead to a severe emotional breakdown. If your relationship is new, give it a little more time. If it’s old and hidden from the world, you know what to do! 

2. Inappropriate or Judgemental Comments 

Do you find your partner constantly making inappropriate statements on other profiles? Or, perhaps, you see them following and interacting with other unsuitable pages, such as sexually harassing or addressing comments on nude/sex accounts or following an enormous number of girls/women/men. 

While it’s alright to embrace one’s sexuality, it’s somewhat offensive and a major red flag to constantly find your boyfriend/girlfriend stalking other sensual accounts/men/women. 

Having online friends is okay, but it is definitely a red flag if your partner comments on their posts by sliding beyond the boundaries or constantly sending arousing DMs to others. 

Sexuality is something one can discuss and move forward within a relationship. However, what’s unacceptable is your partner’s abusive persona online. We can predict a lot about a person through their interactions through comments or posts. 

Does your partner aggressively comment on things that don’t sit right with their opinion? For instance, online hatred and verbal violence towards a caste, community, creed, sexuality, etc. 

Of course, you can sit and talk things out, but is your partner willing to listen? Do they avoid the confrontation and subdue the criticality of the situation? If so, you probably shouldn’t waste your time enlightening their brains. It will be harder for you because they will not change anytime soon. 

Moreover, if their aggressive opinion collides with your beliefs; you need to let yourself out because it directly hints at your relationship’s toxicity you may experience later. 

3. Social Media Addictions

Is this seriously one of the reasons for ending your relationship? We all know how social media can enslave everyone! Well, let me stretch this out— addiction to anything will lead to multiple crises. 

Being on social media continuously, even in the presence of your lover, is a cliche red flag. It reflects that your partner is not valuing your company and are finding other distractions online, perhaps, some lady, a fellow, or other strangers. 

Would you want a partner who’s at the constant mercy of social media or a partner who doesn’t have a life outside the virtual world? This addiction also indicates that your partner doesn’t carry any dedicated goals or a life away from the social media ambiance. 

It would help if you didn’t stand on the fence waiting. Instead, pull yourself out from it.

4. More Than Platonic Friendship With Others On Social Media

It’s good that your partner has some decent diameter of the circle of acquaintances. A friend circle reveals a lot about their character.

But going beyond the bounds and being flirty and sexually attracted to someone is a transparent crystal for cheating. Sometimes, people don’t realize that their platonic friendship is no longer nonsexual. For instance, 

  • Stalking their platonic friends online. 
  • Getting jealous over their new friends.
  • Commenting beyond the boundaries.
  • Prioritizing them over you. 

Of course, you can sit and talk this out with your partner— make them realize this friendship is hurting you. However, if nothing changes and they choose their ‘platonic friends’ over you, you should let them go, especially if it hurts you to see them with others. 

5. Their Relationship Status Is Still “Single.” 

You might have had this talk or an argument with your partner about changing their relationship status to ‘committed.’

Many individuals, especially from an orthodox family, might hide their relationship status to avoid family drama and criticism. 

However, if your partner is sharing content that is not very appropriate for family members in the friend list, they might be lying to you about the actual reasons for their ‘single’ status update. If they find a loophole and crystal-clear lies every time you confront them, it’s time you take a break from that relationship. 

Their ‘single’ status may also indicate that they welcome flirty or kinky interactions.

It would help if you were with someone committed and proud of your existence— someone who’s willing to accept and appreciate you in front of the world. .

6. Avoid Posting Your Photos Or Tagging You In Their Posts.

Okay, I know your relationship is new, and you have complete trust and enthusiasm about the bond, but my friend, this is a risky road. 

Your partner might not be a social person, as they mentioned. However, if you find them posting photos with ‘their other platonic friends’ except for you, then it’s a significant personality drawback. 

If they hide you from their social media account, they are probably not willing to completely accept you as their partner in public. Again, if talking about this situation leads to drama and lies, they are probably manipulating you and don’t value this relationship. 

There can be multiple reasons why your partner doesn’t interact with you on social media platforms. 

  • New relationship: It’s good to have some boundaries at the beginning stage.
  • They don’t find you appealing enough to associate with you publicly: This is a major red flag! If your partner cannot notice how lucky they are to have you, it’s best to let them go. 
  • Family issues. 
  • Social pressure: Sometimes, people are often pressured by societal stigmas to act in certain ways. 
  • To invite flirty texts and conversations

7. Addiction To Drugs/Alcohol And Violent Nature

Alcohol is fine when done socially, but being addicted to it leads to multiple sore roads that are hard to overcome. If your partner drinks more than the required amount and is constantly intoxicated throughout the day— they are probably dealing with alcohol/substance addiction. 

If your lover proudly displays their addiction online, they are nowhere close to quitting. It’s best to stay away from such individuals. Alcohol addiction may lead to physical abuse, aggressive behavior, split personality disorder, and mental harm. We might believe that we can help them let go, but that would stake your psychological and physical health. 

If your partner needs drugs or alcohol to overcome any issue or even the smallest of hurdles— it’s severe evidence that they are not mentally healthy and stable to treat you the way you deserve. 

Also, if you witness your companion being violent towards strangers, family, or any other beings, they are a threat to your well-being. People subdued in alcoholism often deal with short-tempered episodes and violent behavior everywhere they go. 

It would help if you moved away from that individual swiftly because it’s a dangerous red flag.

Reach out for helpline numbers here: https://drugabuse.com/alcohol/hotlines/

8. Exhibition For Doing Good Cause

In a world full of mean and greedy people, you must be proud of your partner engaging or aiding in a good cause. 

But flaunting about it unnaturally or showing off things they didn’t actually do on their social profiles is factually a whiff to embark attention and build an image to attract people faster. They are playing an emotional trick on everyone to create trust.

9. Being Narcissistic (Self-admiring)

Self-love is essential— it’s a necessity. As the old phrase goes, “if you don’t love yourself, then you can’t love someone else.” But if a person’s conversation is mostly about ‘I, Me, Myself”, it might get problematic. 

Self-obsession shoots a very transparent idea that the individual doesn’t value emotion, feelings, or thoughts above themselves. They are bad listeners and too much into themselves to give you the love you deserve. 

They are constantly demanding things from you and expecting ungodly treatment. While you are ready to tend to all their demands, you find yourself being empty-handed. 

They are ready to take but not give. These individuals are often demanding, controlling, and self-deluded. You don’t want to be in a relationship that will leave you empty and dry. 

A relationship builds on reciprocation. If your partner cannot reciprocate those feelings back at you, it’s best to leave them at their mercy.  

10. Unapologetic And Being Badmouth About Previous Bonds

Well, we all make mistakes, and we all learn and grow from them. But if your partner never apologizes for their error and is constantly trying to prove their innocence— it might turn out to be a complicated relationship. You will find yourself manipulated and cornered with their excuses and behavior. 

If your partner blames or accuses their ex’s mistakes and doesn’t accept their own, they wouldn’t take much time to start treating you the same way. 

Such individuals are mostly very controlling in nature, skilled, and manipulative. 

11. Being Connected With Ex’s Account

It is pretty okay for your partner to be friends with their exes if they didn’t share any long-term or intimate relationships. However, if they have had quite a roller-coaster history, the chances are that your partner might still have feelings for the said person. 

Although situations may differ from person to person, please, make sure you talk this out and about with your partner.

If your partner is hiding a ‘platonic friendship with their ex‘ from you, you shouldn’t ignore this significant red flag. The last thing you want is to get stuck in a triangle romance that would bring no good.  

12. Stalking You Online.

Trust is important to build a healthy and long-lasting relationship. If your partner stalks every detail of your account— from followers to foller’s accounts, relations, comments, likes, and requests— they are dangerous to be around. Soon, they might as well start stalking you in real life, and it’s creepy and a very destructive behavior. 

Usually, these individuals are very suspicious, unstable, skeptical, controlling, and psychopaths. You don’t want to associate yourself with people who’d spy. The same goes for you— reading about these red flags is one thing, but stalking your partner’s profile and what they do online is unacceptable. 

Before you land on difficult and stalk-ish conclusions, make sure you talk about it with your partner. Don’t dwell on unreal suspicions, and never stalk your partner. Trust goes both ways— If you want this relationship to work, you need to have faith in your partner. 

What Should One Do After The Red Flags Clash?

1. Date A Counseling Session

If you think it’s worth it to counsel your relationship, then so be it! Mainly, making direct conversation will sort things out. However, if your partner has difficulty opening up, it’s best to date a counseling session. 

Counseling will heal many unknown wounds from your relationship, and you will discover new intimacy, conversations, sexuality, and fluency between each other. Please note: Couple counseling can only work if both the partners are willing to change, accept, forgive, move forward, and love each other. 

2. Spend Time With Friends

While couple counseling may heal or fuse relationships, it doesn’t always end well, and it might as well lead to a bitter breakup/divorce. The best way to move on from toxic people/breakup is to spend some quality time with your friends who have always been there for you. 

Though you are moving forward from a toxic relationship, your heart will take a little more time to accept that very fact.

3. Never Compensate For The Limits.

Sometimes, individuals choose to stay even after witnessing every mental trauma their partners make them go through. These signs are toxic in themselves. Never choose to stay in a toxic, physically and mentally abusive relationship. 

4. Converse 

With a proper heart-to-heart conversation about what bothers you, your partner can hit the luck and save the relationship. Sometimes, people don’t know what they are doing and how their actions might hurt others. 

So, talking will surely help. If not, then trusting your guts will be a good decision.

Conclusion

There’s no hard and fast rule for dating— it takes time for a relationship to grow. So, don’t rush your emotions and choose a partner out of pressure, instability, or the lack of endearment. 

Individuals would often align in a relationship to feel loved, wanted, and cherished. So, they end up choosing the wrong partner. 

It’s better to love yourself than to maintain and deal with a toxic relationship. When approached, ensure that you know, understand, and trust this person. Continue casual dating until you can trust your partner truly. 

Some red flags are easily noticeable, while others may take longer, yet it’s never too late to make a move for your own sanity. 

Instead of jumping to conclusions and ending a special relationship, try to talk things out. Some red flags can be sorted out after having a heart-to-heart conversation, like talking about actions provoked by jealousy, controlling behavior, and over-possessiveness. 

If you catch a particular red flag action that is soon becoming a habit/trait, then put your glasses aside and take necessary measures because this pattern will continue to exist and will continue to ruin your romance and mental health. 

Every relationship has its ups and downs, but if things are pushed beyond boundaries, one should pull themselves out from the toxicity. 

“Everyone deserves an impressive love story. Don’t let yours be a sad one!”

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by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


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