fbpx
healthy couple showing green flag in a relationship
Relationships

8 Green Flags in a Relationship – According to Experts

When involved in an intimate relationship, it’s always necessary to look out for things that can deprive you of much-needed happiness. Regardless of the things that your partner does to show their love, you should always watch out for potential red flags. 

However, you should also keep an eye out for the subtle signs that the person you’re dating can transform your life for the better. It’s important to note that these signs do not necessarily have to entail major events, just simple habits that you’re likely to share with your partner. When it comes to the person you want to build a family and a life with, it’s always best if they have as many of these good qualities as possible.

What exactly are Green Flags?

green flags in a relationship couple traveling together

According to Rori Sassoon, a frequent dating expert on the Real Housewives of New York and co-owner of matchmaking agency Platinum Poire she states, “Green flags in a relationship are signs that you are in a healthy partnership. Is your partner attentive, caring, and caters to your needs even if he or she is tired after a long day at work. Green flags show that you should continue exploring this relationship forward. In other words, there are no signs to leave the relationship and the potential future you may share with your partner. If you’re in a green flag relationship, you share a mutual love of respect, kindness, and outright understanding of one another.”

To help you determine whether your relationship is on track for success, we’ve compiled a list of key green flags in a relationship to watch for. 

Candid Communication

The ability to express feelings and thoughts outrightly and without fear of reprisal is possibly the greenest flag you can come across in a relationship. This is usually the case with partners who are open to sharing their naked feelings with one another on any topic, irrespective of how insignificant the topic may seem.

However, if your partner shows signs of reluctance in discussing with you any subject that bothers them and instead prefers to keep it to himself or herself, then that is a potential red flag that all is not well in your relationship. In such a case, you may have to resort to mental or emotional probing if you want them to disclose what is going on.

As much as possible, you should always be open and honest with each other about everything. This has the effect of strengthening your relationship while at the same time avoiding any hidden resentments that can grow into irreparable damage.

However, if you’re aware that your partner will listen to anything you have to say without judgment or argument, then that is a definitive sign that your relationship is built on a solid foundation. According to Nancy Landrum, MA, Author with 25+ years of Coaching couples, “There are dozens of ways to communicate disrespectfully, but only a few simple ways to express yourself with respect. “

Always Sides with You No Matter What

This is something you can quickly observe, especially when you spend time with your lover and their close friends. If you do something strange or contrary to that of your friends and your partner defends you, instead of siding with others to tell you off to make you feel self-conscious, then that is a great sign they find you worthy of their love.

Even if your partner sides with their friends in telling you off, they should do it in a way that doesn’t show disrespect in front of friends that you respect. 

In such a case, you should do the same for them if they ever have to face a similar situation.

If your partner’s friends say something bad about you behind your back and your partner defends you, not knowing what they said, then that shows a potential green flag in a relationship. Good partners never allow their loved ones to be insulted in front of anyone, especially their friends or family. 

Respect for Your Family, Friends, and Loved Ones

Good partners are not only willing to respect you as an individual, but are also equally interested in getting to know your loved ones. They should be open to spending time with your family members.

If your partner is quick to accept you with all the good, bad, and ugly qualities that come with your family members, then there’s a huge possibility of them respecting your family as their own. This is another great green flag in a relationship.

According to Ashleigh Edelstein, LMFT, “They don’t tear down or say derogatory remarks about your friends. They don’t make passive aggressive remarks or get angry when you spend time with other people. Rather, they encourage spending quality time with others, for both you and themselves.”

Good partners are also always willing to spend time with the friends their significant other care about so that they can have fun together. However, if your partner clarifies they don’t want to spend time with the friends or family you care about or keep making excuses not to do so, then it’s high time for you to raise an eyebrow.

You should never feel you have to stop hanging out with the people closest to you outside because of your significant other.

Healthy Disagreements

We’re all conscious that disagreements are part of any successful relationship, but being able to disagree while maintaining your emotional connection is a major green flag.

Respecting your partner’s point of view is a great indicator that you’re on the right track in healthy relationships. Your partner should never dismiss your point of view out of hand or resort to name-calling. It is best not to raise your voice when having a disagreement, as this can cause undue stress and may lessen the importance of what you’re trying to convey.

Good partners always attempt to understand their loved one’s first before responding. When your partner attempts to understand you without casting judgment, then that is one step closer to having an open and honest relationship.

If they don’t like what you’re saying but are still willing to hear you out, then be assured of their trust in you. If your partner just doesn’t want to hear whatever you have to say, then there are more problems waiting on the horizon.

Arguments Devoid of Consequences

Every time you have an altercation with your lover, you should not always be afraid that it will ruin your entire relationship. It’s a red flag if your partner imposes long haul punishments on you because of arguments. Whether as prolonged periods of tense silence, not recognizing your presence though you’re sharing the same room, or adopting a directly threatening behavior, such partners may not be in for a long-term relationship. 

It’s a green flag if you’re able to embrace one another immediately after an exchange. This signifies that the relationship is more pivotal to the two of you than the differences. 

Good partners should be more interested in solving the problem at hand instead of prolonging it, even if that means saying sorry. This doesn’t mean that your partner must always say sorry to you. However, a simple “I’m sorry” is enough to let you both know that they recognize their wrongdoing and will work on resolving their mistakes.

Willingness to Support Your Personal Growth 

couple supporting each other personal growth green flag


This may sound obvious, but there are many people engaged to partners who are reluctant to support positive growth in their significant other because it causes them to feel insecure. A partner worthy of your love should always be supportive in pursuing your ambition. May it be mastering a new language, studying a new course, losing weight, etc. 

Their willingness to support positive growth in you is their way of showing how much they value your presence in their life.

It’s not a green flag if you’re expected to make sacrifices all the time because it means that your happiness always comes last. If you feel you have to take up second place all the time or always put your significant other instead of yourself, you are being used. 

However, if you’ve found the right person who would support your personal growth while simultaneously prioritizing their own happiness too, then congratulations! Finding this kind of relationship is rare, but shouldn’t be taken for granted.

Healthy relationships are made up of two individuals committed to each other’s overall well-being. 

TIP: You should always have a life apart from your partner, so if they are robbing you of the ability to live on your own terms, then it’s time to reconsider your situation.  

A person who knows how to improve your life for the long haul will teach you how to be independent and proud of yourself. A green flag in a relationship tells you they want nothing more than giving you the support that helps you live out your dream.

Your partner may be supportive of your life choices, but they should never impose their control over you. This is not to say that you can’t discuss common goals and aspirations with them, but it has to be done with mutual consent and respect.

If the only time your partner seems happy with you is when you’re catering to their needs, then that is definitely a problem.

TIP: Your partner should never dominate your time with them when you’re not together. If they try to control the time you spend with your friends by telling you how much you should see them or where you could meet up, then this is unacceptable behavior in a relationship. If you’re being more signs of feeling controlled, check out 11 Early Signs of A Controlling Man.

Acts of Thoughtfulness

Taking the time to learn how to do simple things that will make your partner happy and taking care of them when they’re sick, opening doors for them and standing up when they come into a room are all signs that you value your relationship.   

According to Nancy Ruth Been, Relationship Expert & Conscious Breakup Coach, “They’re investing a lot of energy into the relationship. Whether it’s making future plans, ensuring this weekend is booked with you, or talking consistently throughout the relationship, this green flag showcases someone who sees a lot of potential with you ”

It’s not a green flag if your lover takes you for granted or is inconsiderate of your feelings. 

If your love language is acts of service, then your partner should take the lead in making plans for a date night or something as simple as cooking you dinner when you’re feeling sad. Other examples include giving your boyfriend thoughtful and romantic surprises for his birthday.

It’s normal if it’s not all the time as everyone has busy schedules, but If you’re on a date with someone who can’t take the time to order your food, finds no value in making plans for the future or doesn’t try to clean up after themselves and expect you to take care of it, then this is a sign that they don’t care enough about you.

The longer these kinds of actions go on, the more likely it is that they don’t value what it takes to keep a relationship healthy. If they aren’t willing to try with acts of thoughtfulness, then they can’t be expected to take an interest when it’s difficult.

Shows Interest In Your Hobbies

couple showing their hobbies together green flag

You don’t have to share the same hobbies with your lover in order to be a great partner. Actually, it would be great if you share none, but it is a positive sign if you can show an interest in what they love. A promising partner won’t dismiss your hobby, irrespective of how odd it may seem, or make you feel mindful about participating in it in your presence. 

If your partner only likes the idea of you until they find out about all of your interests, then it’s time to rethink your relationship.

TIP: If you’re together, you should do things that make both of you happy. It’s impossible for two people to enjoy the same hobby at the same level, but giving each other the time of day can go a long way.

According to psychology, having a romantic partner who can expose you to activities that may be new to you is one of the most promising ways a relationship can expedite personal growth.  

This way, you can take turns trying out things together and learning about each other in the process.

When involved in an intimate relationship, it’s always necessary to look out for things that can deprive you of much-needed happiness. Regardless of the things that your partner does to show their love, you should always watch out for potential red flags. 

However, you should also keep an eye out for the subtle signs that the person you’re dating can transform your life for the better. It’s important to note that these signs do not necessarily have to entail major events, just simple habits that you’re likely to share with your partner. When it comes to the person you want to build a family and a life with, it’s always best if they have as many of these good qualities as possible.

To help you determine whether your relationship is on track for success, we’ve compiled a list of key green flags in a relationship to watch for. 

Bottom Line

Candid conversation, siding with your partner, Respect for Your Family, Friends, and Loved Ones, healthy disagreements, acts of thoughtfulness, arguments without consequences, willingness to support your personal growth, and showing interest in your hobbies are some of the green flags in a relationship.

All these are a revelation that your relationship is on a path to success. If you or your partner don’t exhibit any of the aforementioned green flags, try to grow them in you and your relationship will be in for a forward trajectory.  

If you’re single, understanding the green flags in a relationship will help you distinguish between unhealthy relationships and ones that are worth your time.    
What are some of your green flags in a relationship? Let us know or submit your story.

References:

  • Rori Sassoon, a frequent dating expert on the Real Housewives of New York and co-owner of matchmaking agency Platinum Poire.

Comment
by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


More From Relationships

Balm Desert

by Maddalena Beltrami

What Happens when you Stop Chasing an Avoidant?

by Genesis Gutierrez

Do Soulmates Look Alike?

by Genesis Gutierrez

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.