“Spinning out of control. Life will do that to you if you let it. There really is such a thing as too much, and you are probably at your brink. What angers you is when someone says, ‘Take a deep breath,’ and a little thought bubble pops up in your head like, ‘FROM WHAT AIR??’ At this point, you are completely fed up and can’t find the peace of air.
There are many self-help books and audios on taking it slow, overcoming battles, and so on. The thing is, it’s that you can’t even sit quietly to hear or read over two sentences without bursting into tears or having your intrusive thoughts completely take over your mind and drown out your reality. You ask yourself ‘why’ about a thousand times a day because you still don’t understand where and why this turmoil stagnates in your life, why you, why now, and so on.
Life is unfortunately and fortunately a learning school. You really have to keep up or be okay with falling behind. But just like in school, you have cliques (which are called niches in the life learning school). If you pretend to be who you are not, you eventually become outcast, and if you don’t, you end up hating who you are and who surrounds you, leaving you with pain and regret, and you eventually start questioning and doubting your whole existence.
As a wellness and mental health advocate, I want to leave you with 4 tips on taking control of your life and mind little by little:
1. Seek support: Don’t be afraid to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support during challenging times. Surround yourself with a supportive network of people who uplift and encourage you. If you grew up in a foster home or a government program and do not have a supportive system, get a therapist immediately, no questions asked! To be very specific, I would start with a Trauma therapist.
2. Establish boundaries: Set clear boundaries in your personal and professional life to protect your time, energy, and mental well-being. Learn to say ‘No’ when necessary, of course, and prioritize activities that align with your values. Think about how good you’re doing versus how much you’re doing. Doing a lot does not always equal happiness, so say NO!
3. Engage in self-reflection: Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences regularly. Self-reflection can provide valuable insights into your emotions, behaviors, and areas for growth. If you have to start with a ‘what I enjoy doing’ list. From that, narrow down everything that is meaningful to you and now you can look for divine placements that are relatable to who you truly are!
4. Practice forgiveness: Extend forgiveness to yourself and others, releasing resentment and bitterness from your heart. Embrace the healing power of forgiveness as a pathway to spiritual freedom and inner peace. As someone who had many oppressors and aggressors, I had so much resentment that I self-sabotaged like all the time because in others I would see ‘their face.’ I would recommend starting a list of all the people you feel who hurt you and who you probably hurt during your whole life. Start one by one, look at their name, remember the pain, and sit in it for ten minutes. Cry if you have to… then type or write a message to them on how you wish them the best and hope they are doing well. Even if you didn’t necessarily do anything to them, mention a soft apology. This will release the tension from within as you put it out in the universe. You can do 1 of the 2 things. Send the message, state your boundaries if needed as well, or grab colored markers and scribble all over it and tear it into pieces. When you send the message or throw away the paper, you must say to yourself one nice thing like: ‘I am proud of myself.’
One thing for sure is that you are not alone in this realm, and you are definitely not going to be in this state of mind forever! You are stronger than you think you are, and the universe can’t wait to show you that!
All Love-Always,
Kharessa-Kayee Lovey
