Spirituality and Self-help

THE FREE BEAUTY THERAPY

In a world where a tap of your phone can make you feel inferior coupled with the pressures of your life as women, it is little wonder that beauty and mental health are closely interlinked. The impact of pregnancy/raising children, work pressures, romantic relationship and the relationships with your friends and family can all impact our mental wellbeing from time to time. The relationship between mental wellbeing and the constant bombardment of so called “beauty” fascinates me and worries me at the same time. I was fortunate enough to have some women share with me how their mental wellbeing affects their view of beauty and how to overcome this fragile relationship. “I work in mental health, I really shouldn’t be experiencing mental illness, should I?” Beauty for some is i...

MANIPULATIVE RELATIONSHIPS AND LOSING YOUR VOICE: COMING FROM AN ARTIST

This is an issue I have been dealing with for a couple years now. I have talked to a few people about ‘it’ more recently and it appears either people have experienced it firsthand or do not understand it much at all. I thought it could be very beneficial to myself and others to share in a women’s safe place, since I have felt very alone and confused about it for so long. I have always been somewhat shy with people I don’t know, but I could usually manage to comfortably hold a conversation. A couple years ago, I was in the last year of my high school career. I had just switched schools the previous year and was finally losing the 20 pounds and acne I gained from the anxiety of starting a new school. High school was hard for everyone, but at this point I was the most insecure, vulnerable and...

WHAT I WISH I KNEW AT 22

In case you forgot about this fact, here is your reminder: Your twenties will be the most confusing time in your life—at least for many of us. We’re constantly being bombarded with messages that tell us what we should be doing, or what we should be working towards. “Busyness” follows us around like a stray dog, begging to be fed and paid attention to. Through all of this, it’s easy to lose sight of what is really important to each of us individually. What do you love to do in your spare time? Are you a writer at heart? Are you musically inclined? Does cooking rid your mind of stress? What about yoga? We can’t forget yoga. At 22, I moved from my hometown of Cleveland to Denver for my first big-girl job out of college. I was excited, I was confused, and I was scared. I was excited to start m...

IN THE QUIET

In the last week, my grandmother passed away. We spent hours and hours at the hospital with her after a stroke, and though her mind was still sharp and her body fought for many days, she simply could not get stronger again. Though I am so thankful to have spent time with her, I experienced a heaviness in my heart, somewhat like if you were to pick up a large stone and try holding it in your arms as you went about your day. You feel weighed down. When I have difficult emotions to deal with I like to create business in my life. I packed the weekend after losing my grandma full of time with friends, both old and new, one thing after another. I sometimes literally run from my feelings and worries, tying my Asics running shoes and plugging in headphones before heading out the door. And these th...

FOR THE GIRL SEEKING JOY

The quote, “Be who you needed when you were younger,” has been driving so much of my story and how I live out my life. I continually want to write, to lead, and to love like the role-models and women I did not have when I was younger, but wanted and needed so desperately. My hope is that this post will be a source of encouragement you may want and need in this season of life.  My first, and even second year, of college felt so exciting because I was coming into a fresh year so full of new opportunities, classes, experiences and friendships. But I was also full of uncertainty. I wondered who my friends would be, how I would spend my time and what events I’d go to, but the biggest fear of all, who would I go with. You may be feeling or wondering the same thing, even if you are not in college...

TWENTY

Even though I’ve only been 20 for about 2 months now, it already feels like a weird age. You have people getting married, having kids or even getting pregnant. You have others still attending school or others with their AA’s due to them being in community college first. Then there’s me, a third year in college, trying to get closer to graduating at SOME point. However, being in your twenties in general, you’re supposed to have your life mostly together. You’re supposed to know what your future career is, know when you want to have kids by, or have your dream house. You should even be living in an apartment on your own, making your own money.   I see that with my friends, and I’m their number one support; however, it feels like I should be at that point in my l...

THE THINGS WE NEVER SAY

There are things we never say, but often it’s what matters most. You build something block by block – rarely looking down to see how far you’ve climbed. When you finally catch a glimpse, you see familiar faces and spaces. Things that once held sparkle – seem unfamiliar now. I don’t know how it happens, but it’s the things we never say. While building block by block – we are not only creating, but isolating ourselves. Lonely – sometimes it’s incredibly lonely. It’s a love – hate – relationship. You want so badly for the normal to be enough, but you know it never will be. Once you’ve started something –  that desire is insatiable. You live it, breathe it, dream it, speak it, everyday. It’s beautiful and...

MAGICOWSKI

I felt drained.   I felt lifeless and heavy.   The heat of my coming night in Rome felt like a daunting task on my to-do list. I couldn’t wait to run a line through it – a thick, black line symbolizing completion and riddance. I felt full, no desire to experience. There’s something to be said about the weight carried when your soul is filled full, but not fulfilled. The girls in my apartment were dolled up, already intoxicated and yelling abrupt, drunken woos in a Morse code I couldn’t crack. A futile attempt to fight back against the bubbling irritation in my system left me with a glass or two of bottom-shelf red wine in my hand. I didn’t travel to Rome to endlessly dwell in my room, after all. With lip-gloss applied, negative attitudes momentarily displaced and messy bun secured, I unkno...

EMBRACE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF

When you finally embrace your authentic self, you somehow wish that you would have begun the search much sooner. The desire to gain validation and my prior addiction to perfection distracted me from seeking my highest self and exploring more of my hidden potential. Therefore, the distance to self rediscovery gets shorter once we begin putting ourselves first and realize that making others proud or happy is not more important than our own well being. While it’s true that everything happens in its own good time and we cannot force personal growth, life only gets shorter with time and we unfortunately spend too much energy trying to find ourselves in the wrong places. Sometimes, we miss growing into our gifts all together because of our subconscious self-sabotaging habits. Having the clarity ...

DANCING WITH MYSELF: A TALE OF SELF-CARE THROUGH MOVEMENT

I close my door, I close the blinds, I turn on my speaker and I hit play to a dreamy indie rock song that I have been listening to over and over again on the subway during my commute to work. I am ready to move to it. I change my tight jeans and sweater to small shorts and an oversized shirt. I roll socks on and throw my hair up in a messy ponytail. I close my eyes and begin to dance. I move throughout the room like I am at my own personal nightclub, throwing my arms back and forth, extending my legs, and shaking my hips from side to side. I spin and lift and drop and look at myself in the mirror. I see me. I feel present. This is my meditation. This is how I find me.  As a choreographer, movement fulfills my soul, satisfies my creative instincts and gives me purpose, but when I’m sad or a...

CHANGING WITH THE SEASON

A new season is here in many parts of the “Northern Hemisphere.” Leaves upon trees have changed from green to yellow, to shades of orange – and as the season deepens and winter nears – shades of brown. With each changing hue accompanies a shift in our energy field. Some individuals are aware of their energy changes, others are not or appear unaffected; it is all based on perception and belief. With the coming of Autumn, for me, came a mixed feeling of happiness and sadness, yet a decrease of my anxiety. I can look at this state of being symbolical in this way: as the temperature begins to drop, and the Earth’s colors change, green grass begins to yellow and progressively deceases, as does the leaves upon the trees, and animals prepare for hibernation, I too begin to chang...

9 WAYS TO KNOW WHAT FEEDBACK IS IMPORTANT AND WHAT ISN’T

Feedback. What comes up for you when you hear it? Does your trigger response take you to a place of defensiveness where you assume that you have done something wrong? Or, do you receive it as an opportunity for growth? Whatever your feelings, feedback is an important tool that when received without judgement, loses its charge and just becomes information that can be acted upon or rejected. Feedback is nothing more than words. We categorize and give it meaning based on our own internal programming, judgments, and beliefs.  Feedback is an opinion belonging to someone else about the way in which you have or haven’t done something. When receiving feedback, it’s important to consider the different pieces of what I like to call the feedback matrix.  Feedback Matrix:  Who is giving the feedback a...

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