self love

I WILL ALWAYS BE FAT

I know what you’re thinking: “Bold title choice, Em.” But here’s the thing. Why is “fat” a bold word? As humans, we casually stray away from using words like “fat” to describe what someone actually is. Being afraid of the word only deepens the stigma that surrounds it– that fat is bad. When one of your girlfriends is getting ready in your bathroom and you hear her say, “This skirt makes me look fat” and you respond with, “No it doesn’t! You’re not fat,” you are only contributing to the notion that fat is bad and we should be afraid of it. Why are we afraid of being fat? Women grow up in this world surrounded by media that idolizes thin bodies over fat ones. It’s the institutional shaming of anyo...

RELEASING THE SECRETS

Secrets eat away at the very essence of a person. They devour you from the inside out, leaving just a hollow shell. I don’t know why today was the day I chose to finally break my silence about a secret that’s been eating away at me for over two years. Maybe it was all of the current media. Maybe it was all the brave women coming forward with their stories. I will never know. I don’t feel brave. I feel raw and numb after my confession of what happened to me, but I also feel a small glimmer of relief that I hope will blossom into healing. When I wrote my memoir, I wanted to give the reader a happy ending. I wanted them to feel at peace with the emotional roller coaster ride I had just taken them on—but it is a true story, so obviously my story didn’t end there. So her...

HIDDEN IN SHAME

I’ve hidden in shame for years and I wonder have you too? So much time wasted chasing something that wasn’t real. So much time wasted hiding myself. Sought-after perfection kept me in the dark but for once in my life I see the light. We’re not meant to be perfect. We’re not meant to judge. We’re only meant to be our best self. So I no longer hide all the pieces that make me real. This is me I’m not perfect but I wasn’t meant to be.   Author: Melissa fino Email: melissa@loveyourlifecommunity.com Author Bio: Melissa L. Fino is a defiant high school dropout who went on to receive her master’s in social work from the University of Southern California. Melissa applies her life experience with unexpected challenges and numerous insecurities to empower women to let go of the negative in thei...

THE PROOF IS IN THE PUDDING

My beloved Nana Norma taught me a wonderful tradition that became a touchstone in my life.  In her Brooklyn apartment, 303 Beverly Road, Shabbat dinner was always celebrated with her homemade challah. You could smell the sweet aroma of the baking bread as soon as we stepped off the elevator. The smell led us merrily to her front door. When she answered our knock, I’d enter like a cartoon mouse floating towards delicious, buttery aromas.   After dinner, we’d take a large tote and go door to door to collect leftover challah from a few of her dear friends who were neighbors in the building. This was also my Nana’s way of checking in on her friends, catching up on their week, and, looking back, a very loving way to show off her adorable grandchildren (remember, we did not have Facebook back th...

4 STEPS TO REINVENTION & GROWTH: HAWAII STYLE

I recently spent a glorious two weeks in Hawaii and experienced the beauty of Oahu and the Hawaiian Islands. For the two weeks that I was there, I was in constant admiration of the view, the water, the trees and a permanent smile lit up my face…. I’m sure the few Mai Tais also helped. Even on the last day, I was still happy snapping the view and sunsets, saying to my husband and friends “can you believe how gorgeous it is?” Not even Hurricane Lane threatening to hit our island during our first week could dampen the holiday. We prepared ourselves as best we could, stayed calm, and made the most of every day, having a hurricane party in our room during lockdown while the kids created their own Britain’s Got Talent show.   Now I’m not going to lie, there have been a few of our overseas ...

REIGNITING YOUR LIFE

What do you do when the spark is gone? With work, with life, with love—with it all. When things just aren’t shining like they used to, aren’t syncing like they should, and life is just a lot harder than it needs to be. I signed up for a three-day wellness retreat this past weekend and learned quite rapidly exactly the key to reigniting your life. You look inside, you go within yourself, you get to the root of things.    It’s oh-so-easy to cover up that restless antsy feeling of not quite being happy with your life. For me, that meant shopping trips (all the retail therapy), an endlessly busy schedule, and a million activities and social engagements. So, I was left exhausted and too tired to really think about things, because that kind of thinking was uncomfortable and I wasn’t going to slo...

DARK MIND GAMES

I love myself I am that exquisite and jaunty Striking and fearless Bold but sometimes rendered powerless, For I get plucked by people Shamed to death Like a beautiful rose being plucked into oblivion And tortured to nothingness, Being objectified as tool Hapless and strewn Among the torrents of narrow-mindedness Darkened with fear and hopelessness, I can hear those voices aloud Stares and hushed talks Rude comments and more They try to judge me And make me feel less than more…     Author: Shivani Email: navychildrenschool@gmail.com Author Bio: Lover of books. Spends time gardening and listening to music.

A BETTER ME

A better me is coming. One who’s not afraid to be whole. Not afraid of the judgments, the naysayers or the hecklers in the crowd. One who loves freely, laughs when it feels right and cries whenever the tears shall fall. A better me is coming and I’m no longer scared. For I’ll be the one growing and leaving the past behind. But I fear that we’ve all been here before. Some of us have taken the chance while others have chosen the comfortable road. It’s all a choice this life that is. We choose to grow or remain the same. We stay in the past or we choose the present. Wherever we go, it’s all in our hands. This life is ours to make or break. So take each challenge as it comes and leave the rest behind. A better you is coming take the chance you’ll see. There’s a whole world out there waiting fo...

TRIBE, LOVE, COURAGE: LEADERSHIP IN A HASHTAG

On my birthday this year, I received an invitation to speak at the #LeadLikeAGirl Conference. Little did I know that this invitation would be the start of something much bigger. As I prepared for the conference and for my words of wisdom, I started thinking about the message I wanted to share with the aspiring young girls and women I would be in the room with. I began reflecting on the things and people who helped me on my own journey of growth, specifically as a woman in STEM. What became clear were three things: the tribe of people who supported me, the love that I have for my passions, and the courage I grew to persevere.   Tribe. Love. Courage. These three words, though simple, are the foundation for growing into a leader. It is the basis for a mutually beneficial community that one bo...

YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL, JUST NOT ALL AT ONCE…WRONG

I heard a saying a few years ago that really resonated, and I latched onto it: “you can have it all, just not all at once.” I was wrong!  The statement was made in relation that not all of your life can be all that you want it to be at once. There will always be something that is sacrificed while other areas are peaking, and that’s ok. It pretty much nails the definition of sacrifice: give up (something valued) for the sake of other considerations.  Just accept it knowing other areas are doing great and you can’t have everything.  I latched onto this at the time because it was what I needed to hear. It made it ‘ok’ in my mind to sacrifice happiness in some areas and it gave me an excuse. I created that belief. It wasn’t a belief that I was happy with those areas or that I’d accepted it for...

SPEAKING THE TRUTH

I celebrated my 37th birthday this month, and like the many birthdays that inch us closer to 40, this one had me not only reflecting on my youth, but also building an inventory of failures and accomplishments to find perspective. As a queer, non-monosexual femme and a survivor of poverty and emotional and sexual abuse, I’ve accomplished more than I thought was ever possible: I’m still alive.  There is a weird thing that happens when you live longer than you expected to and have obtained a sense of safety and stability. The future becomes a thing you are no longer fighting so hard to exist in, but rather are being called to create and shape. The privilege of living and the recognition of that privilege makes you feel out of place. You are suddenly surrounded by people whose definitions of s...

BREAK FREE

Whose heart is that?  I think I know.  The owner is quite angry though.  Her hazel eyes are dark as night.  But still they hold a pinch of light    Inside her spirit is broken.  But the pain will not be spoken.  Tormented with nightmares, she never sleeps.  The demon that got her continues to creep.    One day she will awaken.  Her soul refuses to be taken.  She will fight as long as her lungs hold breath.  She will conquer the villain before her death.    Her strength for now is weak.  But soon will reach its peak.  It takes time to rise from the grave.  She’ll soon show the savage what it means to be brave.   Author: Nikki McPeak Email: Nikkim1984@hotmail.com Link to social media: Instagram @nikjmc

Lost Password

Register