Here’s To The Men
Here’s to the men that cry
to the ones that admit they’re failing
because they know they’re also growing
and that limits are only in their minds
here’s to the men that take their time
Here’s to the men with empathy they don’t ration
to the ones striving to be kind
the men that place themselves in someone else’s shoes
knowing they can never understand
the weight that’s being carried
Here’s to the men that wash dishes and stitch dresses
to the fathers who let their sons play with dolls
the ones that change nappies and kiss bruises
the ones who keep on fighting
when it’s easier to walk away
Here’s to the men that understand our value
to the ones that don’t objectify us or degrade
those that don’t call rape culture our problem
here’s to the men that can hear no
wish us well and walk away
Here’s to the men that don’t think loyalty’s embarrassing
to the ones that still love us
when their friends are watching
here’s to the men that know needing someone
doesn’t make them weak.
Here’s to the men that don’t think the word girl is an insult
that don’t use negging to get laid
the ones that found the courage to be who they are
here’s to the men who know what leaves them feeling empty
and don’t just chase it anyway
Here’s to the men that have integrity
even when we’re not around
the ones that allow themselves to fall in love with our minds
not just notch us on their bedposts
and pretend that it’s enough
Here’s to the men that buy themselves flowers
name their houseplants
and sing to help them grow
here’s to the men dancing in kitchens by themselves
thinking they’ll always be alone
Here’s to the men that call for help when they hurt
and aren’t afraid to be seen
the ones that are courageous enough
to understand bravery is only an option
when you know what it is to feel scared
Here’s to the men that love powerful women
and aren’t intimidated by success
to the ones that want to build this thing together
because that’s how we make it
strong enough to stand
Here’s to the men that recognise their battles are fought and won
not in the final showdown
against an enemy unknown
but in the thousand small decisions
that led them to the fight
Here’s to the men with not only grace but grit
who understand the process
and allow for the middle to be messy
the ones that meet us where we are
but don’t leave us where they found us.
Here’s to the men that don’t let history define them
no matter what is said
the ones reaching forward
knowing that though their story shapes them
they alone get to write the end
Here’s to the men that were told they weren’t enough
but found a way to rise above
the ones who see the beauty in their defects
find their weaknesses and work on them
and instead of hiding who they are step up
Here’s to the men that will change the world
the true rebels
the mavericks the renegades the titans
here’s to those that will gently break the chains
and challenge the wrongs with love.
Dating with trauma is complicated there’s no one size fits all option for how to deal with life. Sometimes you can meet someone that aligns with you in ways you daren’t have imagined possible that fits you like a glove, and sometimes that still isn’t enough because you aren’t both in the same space when it comes to overcoming triggers or because you are or because you just aren’t brave enough to let each other in far enough to see past it.
Dating with trauma is I guess something I underestimated – we could easily have gone on for months without a bump in the road and maybe then we could have faced one together when it came, but timing being what it is that wasn’t our story here. We both hit triggers incredibly early on which I maybe we should have expected but we didn’t and we were both blindsided by it and it broke my heart at a stage I probably shouldn’t have even been that invested but rightly or wrongly I found someone that I could see myself falling for and more importantly building something with, and that’s hard because in a lot of ways it’s no one’s fault it didn’t work out that way nobody is to blame, there’s nobody to be mad at and I felt powerless so I did the only thing I could and gave God a good telling off he didn’t deserve, secure in the knowledge he could handle it and I wouldn’t break him.
I’m sure if I wanted to I could blame myself or I could manufacture some reasons to blame him or blame my ex or his ex for causing the trauma we couldn’t see each other past, but that wouldn’t change anything or fix anything and at the end of the day I know the thing that broke me also built me and I don’t regret the journey that led me to become who I am today.
The woman I’ve become is incredible and I love her but I’m also under no illusion that she has a long way to go and needs a lot of grace to get there.
I made the mistake of interpreting my present through the lens of my past and so did he and that hurt us both. We dragged pain and resentment and insecurity into a situation it didn’t belong in. So while what we had was incredibly good and should have been something we were celebrating we fought all the wrong battles on all the wrong levels and pushed each other away.
All I can do now is attempt to understand my part in it all and how and why I reacted to things the way I did in the hope that I won’t ever make these mistakes again, but allowing for the fact I probably will and if not these then new ones and I have to remember to be gentle with myself and with others and remember that tough love doesn’t work on hurting people including me.
I understand a little better now that when you’ve never been allowed to need anything there’s a complicated bag of emotions involved in admitting that you do – it’s hard to ask for something you’ve never been allowed, it’s harder still to figure out how to do that without treating the person your asking for it from like they’re the same one that intentionally deprived you of it not just someone that doesn’t understand you yet. It’s hard to know if you’re allowed to call or text, and when you have to fight a huge battle inside yourself to reach out to someone first and they don’t reply it can feel like an unbearable rejection even though it isn’t.
I understand now what a giant chasm there is between knowing your own worth and trusting someone else to see it and trusting that they don’t need convincing of it and that not everything has to be fought for. When conflict is all you’ve known and you’ve only been told that you’re worth nothing and shown that you mean nothing it’s hard to let go of feeling like you have to prove that you are – so that’s what I did I fought a fight that didn’t exist and broke the thing I was so desperate to protect.
I didn’t just break it either I pushed it past breaking point, I needed a reaction to feel like I mattered I lived too long on a rollercoaster where being hurt meant the same as being loved and I needed to be yelled at or punished somehow to feel like I mattered. So when I wasn’t and someone else’s pain wasn’t being thrown at me I felt like there wasn’t any there because he didn’t care. And it felt that way even though I knew it wasn’t true and even though he explained that he needed time to process and was sorry he shut down.
Trauma bonding is no different than any other addiction so even though I’ve been a long time out of that situation my body still doesn’t quite know how to not need it and I guess maybe it’s true that addiction never goes away you just learn how to control it and that scares me because I so deeply want this part of me gone. Inadvertently in the end I didn’t mean to but I I guess I was testing him or testing God because I wanted to be fought for, but the painful truth is I shouldn’t have needed to be.
For a little while I thought I found someone that could see past all of that in me, that somehow because so much of my story is out here for everyone to see that he would somehow have enough insight to be ready and understand what he was getting into, he didn’t and that wasn’t his fault it was mine. I know I needed to learn all of this but I wish beyond everything else there had been a way for me to learn it without hurting him. Not just because I have to carry the weight of that with me now but because I know he does to.
Now I have to live with knowing I broke something so good and hurt someone incredible that didn’t deserve it because I couldn’t just give it time and not pick it apart, in the space of the uncertainty all the voices from my past resounded like clashing symbols inside my head – relentlessly all day every day until I drove myself out of my mind and in the end it hurt so much and it felt like no one cared that it hurt or wanted to understand why it did so I killed it on purpose because I talked myself into believing it would be easier. I ran away foolishly hoping that somehow he would see through it and ask me to stay. It isn’t. He didn’t. I was wrong and now it’s so much worse.
Disappointment hurts and so does hope all I can do now is own my mistakes, learn from them and take the time to heal again. If I’m being honest after I’ve done that I don’t want to try this all again with someone new, I don’t want someone else to make me feel any of the things I felt with him I want to save them and protect them because they’re all I have to show for the heartache, but in time I suppose that will change and until then I refuse to live life afraid of leaning into the storm when it comes.
Somewhere out there is someone that will be ready to face all of this with me and for now I am grateful to have learnt a little bit more about who I can be, I’m grateful I learned I could enjoy affection and that I could feel safe with someone and that just for a moment I could rest my face in their neck and breathe them in and they could feel like home. I’m grateful I learned how much courage I have even if I don’t always show it in the right way and I’m grateful all of it happened even if it was too short and hurt like hell because I’d rather drown walking on water than not get out of the boat.
On the precipice of forty, a time when many are comforted by the cocoon of family life, I found myself navigating the unfamiliar territory of online dating. Without a past marriage or children to signal a history of commitment, I sometimes felt stamped with an invisible label: Something must be wrong with her if she’s never been married. In the silent corners of society, divorced individuals at least carry the badge of having tried. The scars of a partnership that ended, to some, are preferable to the blank slate of someone who appears non-committal.
As I embarked on this digital journey, I hoped the parameters of judgment had expanded, or even ceased to exist. Perhaps the world had grown kinder, more understanding that love and commitment aren’t solely housed within wedded confines. Maybe we’d grown more attuned to the diverse ways people find fulfillment, understanding that many consciously embrace—and thrive in—solitude.
I chose Hinge for my dating app adventure, not with the starry-eyed hope of finding my lifelong partner (though that would've been a welcome surprise), but more as an anthropologist in the land of modern love. Opting for just one platform, I assumed there would be considerable overlap among the various dating apps. I was curious: had the landscape of human connection shifted in this age of swiping left or right? What was the rhythm of romantic discourse in a world mediated by screens?
Whenever I spoke to single friends, who lived in bustling metropolises and smaller towns, a collective lament resonated: "Dating is just so hard." I sought to understand why this refrain was universally sung.
My digital voyage began in San Francisco, the city I called home for nearly a decade. Like many others immersed in metropolitan dating, I soon felt the quandary: the allure of perpetual possibilities, and the paradoxical inertia of ceaseless swiping.
Yet, as I embraced this digital sphere, I also unexpectedly found a renewed sense of openness to people, as if downloading the app had broadcasted a silent message to the universe. I started meeting potential romantic interests organically, friends suddenly turned into matchmakers, and a chance meeting at a Big Sur cafe segued into an impromptu romantic weekend.
Online, though, my journey seemed to become a mirror, reflecting insights about the modern dating culture and sometimes uncomfortable truths—or rather perceptions—about myself. I lingered in the comfortable digital dance of texting too long, allowing days to pass without transitioning to a real-world meeting. I could see my fears staring me directly in the face, and the question loomed: Was I really ready for intimacy, or was this simply a social experiment?
Some men had an interview-like approach to dating, seemingly keen to only gauge my sexual proclivities and perhaps, more directly, how many dates were needed before we could consummate a sexual relationship. Others broached non-monogamous relationships, a terrain I discovered quickly was not for me.
In one instance, after I declined sending additional pictures to a man, he audaciously texted me a selfie of another woman he was seeing (undoubtedly a much younger woman than myself) with an added, and mildly offensive, note: Just so you know. This is your competition.
Others sensed the anthropological nature of my intentions for online dating, suggesting that I was taking on the role of a therapist. One man, who I invited over for the first date (something I would never recommend to others), said I possessed witch-like qualities but good ones — leading to a fleeting idea to create a blog about online dating, and calling it “The Good Witch.” Another remarked that despite my childless status, I radiated a maternal energy that he didn’t find particularly sexy. The contradictions felt boundless. But it wasn’t all critique and complexity.
In the midst of these varied interactions, I stumbled upon genuine souls, earnestly seeking a nourishing partnership. And then there were those with whom I felt a kinship, individuals who, under different circumstances, could have seamlessly transitioned into meaningful friendships. With a few, I felt an urge to assist in enhancing their dating profiles, recognizing that they were so much more appealing in person than they appeared online.
I began to notice other unexpected positive side effects of online dating. While exploring this new landscape, I found that dating actually bridged deeper connections with women akin to me: single, on the cusp or in the midst of middle age, and delving into life's profound questions masked by online dating's facade.
In my San Francisco apartment, I began hosting women’s groups. These meetings drew women at similar life junctures. Our evenings ranged from intimate exchanges about our personal journeys to sessions with coaching friends and spiritual guides, deepening our collective exploration of authenticity and connection. But of course, because we were a group of women in the same demographic who were all online dating, there was some awkward overlap with the men we were connecting with. I began to realize this was yet another predicament of the modern dating conundrum.
In addition, dating allowed me to channel my experiences into a creative outlet: a private Facebook group, "Women’s Voices." With close to 1,000 members, this community became a sanctuary for open dialogue. My posts, deeply rooted in personal reflection, tackled themes from the elusive dance of romantic chemistry, navigating rejection's two-way street, to realizing that true connection can't be manufactured.
During the pandemic, as I transitioned from San Francisco to southern California and eventually to Santa Fe, New Mexico, my online connections became vital touchpoints to the outside world and guides to my new surroundings. The enforced isolation of the pandemic forged a distinct dating backdrop, amplifying our inner anxieties and fears without the usual distractions. Against this setting, the people I met online unveiled deeper vulnerabilities. I did, too. And interestingly, because we were limiting our interactions during the pandemic, this forced people to focus and to acquaint oneself on a deeper level. One gentleman suggested a charming return to penning letters as a way to get to know each other. Zoom dinners often saw me self-consciously chewing as a digital face observed. I encountered a spectrum of individuals—from a Malibu firefighter to a man who once served time for drug dealings, and divorced dads whose devotion to their kids deepened my appreciation for my own father. Gradually, I discerned and appreciated the enriching tapestry of human connections that online dating unfolded for me.
About eight months into my online dating journey, while in southern California, I encountered a significant turn: I met a man who I had genuine feelings for. Like me, he grew up in the Midwest, transitioned to city living during his adult years, and now, in his forties, sought the charm of smaller towns. And, there was a burning chemistry between us that I had found was often missing with other matches.
However, despite gaining some proficiency in the initial steps of online dating, I was not well-equipped for deepening a connection or fostering intimacy and trust. A string of misunderstandings, heightened by personal challenges he was facing at that time, led to an abrupt end, leaving me deeply disheartened. A month later, I attempted to re-establish our bond, but our relationship remained unstable. Despite my profound feelings, I struggled to articulate them, inadvertently appearing distant, aloof, and self-centered when really I wanted to be emotional, connected, and effusive. In one of our last exchanges, he noted, “You need to learn how to communicate.”
This experience became a reflective moment, highlighting my underlying vulnerabilities and the skills I was missing in fostering close relationships. My many years of valued independence revealed an unforeseen challenge: a difficulty in navigating emotional complexities, voicing my needs, addressing my letdowns, and devising ways to remedy them. Seeking guidance, I turned to a highly recommended therapist from the Bay Area, who accommodated virtual sessions through the duration of the pandemic. We methodically explored the depths of my emotional hurdles, working towards understanding the barriers that kept me from true intimacy. I emerged with renewed insight: I held a genuine aspiration for a future partnership and I was working on building my intimacy toolkit. Despite the inherent challenges of relationships, I began to recognize and embrace the promise and growth that love brings.
Relocating to Santa Fe presented a different online dating environment: fewer options worked well for me and created an opportunity to develop relationships quickly. Here, in a period of two years, I found myself in two successive relationships, both men I had met on Hinge, and each of the relationships illuminated my blindspots and glaring patterns: my struggles with communication and emotional containment.
Despite these revelations, while I am currently single and only sporadically do I jump online seeking a match, the only dating journey over the course of nearly four years created a gateway to deeper self-awareness and understanding. I looked within, tending to long-neglected emotional scars. Intense reactions and emotional mismatches propelled me to explore their roots, and in the relationships that I had in Santa Fe, while they weren’t sustainable, I was able to practice new skills and a greater sense of self-awareness.
Do I still harbor hope and desire for a relationship? Absolutely. Do I believe in the efficacy of online platforms? Yes, but with a caveat: they do serve as a tool to date, but mostly they provide a unique portal to our rich inner terrain.
In the world of digital romance, I remain steadfast in my optimism. The quest isn't merely to find love, but to understand oneself through the process. Modern dating isn't a monumental task but rather a misunderstood art. The essence of love and connection isn't bound to an app or a swipe. It's an inward journey, and as we embrace our personal evolution, the universe reciprocates with reflections of that growth. It's not just about finding love; it's about understanding ourselves along the way. The digital realm is just a tool, guiding us on this journey of self-discovery. In an era dominated by screens and external distractions, we often overlook the most profound connection—the one with ourselves.
I dare the square to flame my game
Outside of any wicked frame.
I see myself a dear self,
A butterfly thing-in-itself.
I carry stories from the earth,
From winter’s sleep and spring’s rebirth.
With colours I’ve enriched my dreams,
Caressing the words between the means.
From green I’ve gathered smiles and laugh,
Yet tears, at times, cut them in half.
But never mind any of these –
They mirror sylvan paradise:
Wide trees of life with strong, firm roots,
With wrinkly leaves, and juicy fruits.
Embraced by sunny golden beams,
And washed by mighty rainy streams.
I am my wrinkled happy skin,
A signature I’ve learnt to win.
A memory I bring to blue,
My depth from what I have been through.
From tenderness I’ve gained sweet brush
Besides the strings from grieving’s touch.
They are the wisdom’s merry page,
The richest velvet of my age.
I’m time reflection on days’ square
Spelling love’s narrative and dare
To fit my imperfections’ chains
Through cheerful, human, kindly lanes.
© Simona Prilogan
Credit image: Pixabay
Sometimes I float around like a cloud, whisping and fluttering about. Other times I am still like a pebble in a stream, the day just moves over top of me. But most of the time I'm content being like a tree; planting roots, blowing in the breeze, and learning to let things go.
It was a cold and slightly damp, November evening in Glasgow and I had ventured out for the launch of Amanda Edmiston’s new book, The Time Travellers Herbal. I took a few seconds when I reached the venue, slightly in awe, as I read the sign.
‘The Glasgow College of Physicians and Surgeons’
This building, like much of my beloved Glasgow, was steeped in history. The college was given its Royal Charter in 1599 by the infamous King James VI, who went on to bring about the horrendous witch trials here in Scotland. Knowing this, I felt a deep sense of pride that I was here to attend the launch of a book that was, not only about the magic of all things herbal but was also written by a woman. This being exactly the type of behaviour that would likely have had both the author and attendees tried, and potentially burnt, all those years ago.
The inside of the building was an absolute delight. Akin to entering a magical portal into the past. I peered into rooms full to the ceiling with ancient, leather bound books. There were medical journals from all over the world. Books detailing all kinds of flora and fauna, written as they had been discovered, with beautifully detailed, hand drawn illustrations on the delicate pages.
We were all seated in the cosy library, when out came Amanda, looking gorgeous as ever and immediately captivating the crowd as she spoke. As we sat, nibbling on biscuits and drinking herbal teas, Amanda’s natural gift of storytelling took us on a colourful journey through her life, her inspirations and all that led her to writing the Time Traveller’s Herbal. We all laughed together and I found great inspiration in her words.
Afterwards we had some time to browse the shelves of the college library and look in more detail at Amanda’s beautiful book, as she signed copies.
The Time Travellers Herbal is a gorgeous collection of herbal recipes, illustrations, wonderful stories and fascinating folklore. With poetry, songs, history and herbs galore it makes a unique addition to any bookshelf and is much more than just a recipe book. From remedies for a broken heart or the flu to ghost stories and delicious teas and wines, there really is something for everyone!
My copy even came with a little pouch of Lavender. Written on it were the words;
'Lavender, to protect from accusations of Witchcraft’
As Amanda herself proclaimed, I wonder what James VI would make of her book!
The Time Traveller’s Herbal is available here, from David and Charles and in all good book stores.
https://davidandcharles.com/product/the-time-travellers-herbal/
There are no goodbyes for us
Since the rain already washed
Our tears caught in fears’ clash.
Soul to soul, and heart to heart
Talking softly through blue’s path,
Voicing pain and long at last,
In a sacred, inner space,
Echoing the happiness,
Tightly hugged by holy grace.
We are life, breaking the dark,
Through the mirrors of the light,
Holding tenderness in eyes.
Smile to smile, embracing faith,
Pouring feelings in days’ cups,
Crafting noble endurance,
Through compassion and love’s arts,
Mirroring each other’s heart,
There are no goodbyes for us.
© Simona Prilogan
Image: Pixabay
As a female entrepreneur embarking on the challenging yet exhilarating journey of creating a thriving business, I've learned that success isn't just about having a brilliant idea or robust business plan. It's also about navigating and overcoming specific obstacles that often stand in the way.
Through my experiences, I've identified five key hurdles that can impede progress and how to surmount them effectively.
As a female entrepreneur, the most persistent and personal obstacle I encountered was confronting the societal myth of 'having it all' – managing a successful business while maintaining a picture-perfect personal life. The expectation to excel in every role - as a business owner, a family member, a friend - often felt like an unattainable standard.
This myth led to many moments of self-doubt and guilt, especially when I had to make tough choices between important business deadlines and personal commitments. This is even harder for expecting moms or moms with young kids. I realized that the key to overcoming this wasn't in achieving a perfect balance, but in embracing the imperfections of life. I learned to prioritize based on what was most critical at the moment, understanding that balance is not static but a constantly shifting state.
Gender bias in the business world is an unfortunate reality. From being underestimated in meetings to facing challenges while raising capital, the manifestations of this bias are varied and deeply entrenched. I've faced scepticism about my capabilities purely based on gender, and overcoming this meant proving my worth over and over again. To combat this, I focused on building a strong personal and brand reputation through consistent, high-quality work. I ensured that my voice was heard and my opinions were valued in every professional setting.
Networking with other successful female entrepreneurs and seeking mentors who have navigated similar paths was invaluable. Additionally, educating myself and staying abreast of the latest industry trends helped me build credibility and authority in my field. Overcoming gender bias isn't just about personal success; it's about paving the way for future generations of female entrepreneurs.
In today's saturated market, establishing a strong and distinct brand identity is critical. This was particularly challenging for me as it involved not just choosing a logo or a color scheme, but deeply understanding what my brand stands for and how it resonates with my target audience. I spent considerable time researching my market, understanding customer needs, and analyzing competitors.
This helped me to identify a unique value proposition. In addition, I focused on effective brand mention, ensuring that every aspect of my business - from marketing materials to customer service - aligned with my core values and brand message. This process involved working with SEO professionals, and for those in Australia, a reliable SEO company in Sydney would be a good solution. With the help of pros, I went through much trial and error, studying feedback, and practicing adaptability to change. Building a brand isn't an overnight task; it's a continuous process of refinement and evolution based on market trends and customer feedback, and it often requires professional help, so don’t hesitate to reach for it.
Access to funding and resources is a significant barrier for many female entrepreneurs when starting a business. Traditional funding avenues often have implicit biases, and it can be challenging to break through these barriers. I explored various funding options, from small business loans to angel investors and crowdfunding platforms. I realized the importance of having a solid business plan and being well-prepared to pitch my idea convincingly. This meant not only showcasing the uniqueness and potential of my business but also backing up my claims with data and a clear understanding of my financials.
Networking also played a crucial role. Attending industry events and joining entrepreneur groups gave me valuable connections and insights into alternative funding sources. Persistence and resilience were key in this journey - every rejection was a learning opportunity and a step closer to finding the right partner.
In my job, there were days filled with triumphs, where everything clicked, and my business vision seemed within reach. Yet, there were also days of overwhelming doubt, where the weight of expectations and the fear of letting down those who believed in me felt crushing.
To navigate this emotional terrain, I learned the importance of emotional resilience. This meant acknowledging my feelings, whether it was excitement, stress, or uncertainty, and understanding that these emotions were a natural part of the entrepreneurial process. Building a support network of fellow entrepreneurs, who could relate to my experiences, provided me with not just professional advice, but also emotional support. Another key aspect was learning to detach my self-worth from the success or failure of my business. Understanding that a setback in my business was not a reflection of my capabilities as an entrepreneur was crucial. It allowed me to take risks and make decisions without the fear of personal failure.
The journey of a female entrepreneur is fraught with unique challenges. Yet, with determination, resilience, and the right strategies, these obstacles can be turned into stepping stones for success. My journey has taught me that while the road may be tough, the rewards of building a thriving business are immeasurably fulfilling. Remember, every challenge is an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser.
Some people use rooftops for stargazing. They lay on the roof, look up and dream of wonderful things. Some people climb up to the rooftop to look out beyond the locality. And another portion of people cannot bear to reach the rooftop. They begin to climb but the higher up they go the more likely the ladder is to shake.
In the end, there are three types of people. Those who let the fear of a shaking ladder overtake them, the ones that aim only for what they can see, and those who are not even held captive by a dream.
The human brain is one of the most docile things that exist in this world, however, we are not yet fully aware that you cannot reach a target audience without first understanding how their brain works.
In universities or higher education programs—where they teach us any career in sales, marketing or advertising—most of the time they focus on learning how to handle statistics, reports, and how to correctly execute campaigns. However, very rarely is enough attention paid to the psychology of the target audience or the user alone.
Understanding the psychology of a consumer makes us go one step further than many companies, we have to try to understand from their subconscious to their most common interests. Although I have managed to pay enough attention to all those successful companies, they all have something in common: they are characterized by a unique color, logo or name.
This causes the brain to suffer from something called top of mind. This term refers to the first product or brand that arises in the consumer's mind. For example, when we think of hamburgers, we all think of the Burger King restaurant chain, or when we talk about pumas, we think of the tennis and shoe brand, and so on.
For our company to be top of mind, we must first give it its own personality, yes, treat it like a person.
Imagining that the company has its own personality may be a little complicated at first, but when this objective is achieved it will be easier for the client to feel comfortable and comfortable with the company or brand. Some of the characteristics that we can give you are tastes, interests, economic situation (not of the company, but of the brand as such, according to the value of its products), etc.
Now, according to the personality that we gave to our brand, we have to start organizing everything to correctly reach the user.
For example, my brand can sell beauty products or be a beauty salon, normally this type of business has the personality of an upper-middle class woman, she loves taking care of herself, has a stable job, does not have children or her children are already large, so she enjoys buying her products without worrying about spending too much because she doesn't know if she will have to go to the emergency pediatrician.
Furthermore, it can be said that said woman can be between 35 and 50 years old, therefore, she is already beginning to worry about her skin and tries not to have premature aging. Her interests may be that she loves going out with her friends to have coffee or some other drink, she likes to read or watch television programs, she has a very wide vocabulary and she likes to make sure that all the products that pass through her skin are of excellent quality. .
When we manage to understand that our brand or company has a unique personality, in turn we are able to describe the customer.
And why does this happen?
When we describe the company, we are describing the target audience to which we must address. Nike, for example, is a sports clothing brand, therefore it can give the personality of a sporty person and its target audience, certainly, are athletes or exercise lovers.
When we give a personality to our company or brand, we can better understand the market we want to address.
Now, to continue with our goal of becoming top of mind, we must focus on the customer that emerged when we described the company. We must investigate their psychology in depth, see their consumer behaviors, their search patterns, understand which social networks they spend the most time on, and which social networks they use most of the time. It is also very important to talk to them, to learn more about everything about them, be it their tastes, needs, interests, etc.
This can be done through surveys, either in a format, on a website or through social networks such as Instagram and X (formerly Twitter).
After investigating this, with all the data collected, we must make a report in which we specify which social networks are used the most by users of a certain age, their favorite colors and what they feel towards them, what makes them buy products of a certain color. or specific smell (in the case of the cosmetics, skincare and perfume industry), the consumer behavior of the user and everything you consider necessary to make an excellent impression of your brand.
Now, although we know, we have to be creative when persuading the client, strategies are extremely important, we cannot detract from that. However, it is also important to know what light intensity is best to have in photographs, fonts, colors, types of designs, etc.
I always recommend using minimalist designs, especially for stores that sell household items, since this type of technique causes a certain tranquility in the user, which is why you will also want that tranquility in your home. In addition, it is extremely important to experiment with certain types of designs, colors and typography, sometimes we believe that they cannot persuade the user and therefore we do not use it.
We also have to take into account that many times the user gets tired of the same type of content, so it is very important and attractive to innovate the content from time to time.
My recommendation, in general, is that you try to know what your client wants, fall in love with the brand, take a lead from the users who participate in the surveys, try to do different things and always keep an analysis of all the content created.