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couple arguing trying to figure out how to fix relationships after long fight
Relationships

How To Fix a Relationship after a Long Fight?

Buried anger, bitterness, and unresolved conflicts can wreak havoc in your relationship, causing you and your partner to drift away. Each big and small fight creates a gap that becomes difficult to close over time. You then wonder how to fix a relationship after a long fight but not sure where to start.

Feelings of betrayal, rage, grief, and helplessness can engulf your relationship. During such times, it’s important to remember what makes your significant other the love of your life. 

When one quarrel leads to another and makes you feel like you have no hope of repairing the damage— figuring out ways and means to restore romance to your life is critical and the main way you can fix your relationship after a long fight.

To genuinely move on and leave all grudges behind after a major disagreement, addressing your issues and reconnecting with your partner is essential. You both must put an equivalent effort into recognizing and fixing problems in between. 

Why is it essential to acknowledge arguments and how do we fix a relationship after a long fight?

Acknowledging disputes and arguments is the first step in resolving any dispute. Even if you indulge in influential fights with your partner, it will help you keep your relationship strong. 

Keep in mind that terrible conflicts in a connection entirely ruin it in the long term. However, if you regularly take notes of your behavior towards your partner and try to make it better, you are on the right path. 

Always try to re-establish communication with your mate after a furious argument. 

Here are some ideas to solve any disagreement and build a relationship with each other

Some conflicts are usually minor, but many can be hurtful and leave a lasting impression. The impression could even weaken your love for each other over time. This can cause severe damage, not just to your relationship but also to your mental health. 

It is vital to take proactive steps following an argument to and figure out how to fix a relationship after a long fight to strengthen beliefs, restore confidence, and soothe frazzled nerves. 

The conclusion of an argument should always signal the beginning of efforts and making amends.

Here are some tips that can help reunite after a fight: 

1. Give some space:

When it comes to developing a healthy relationship, striking a delicate balance between solitude and intimacy is critical. After a fight, this becomes even more crucial to remember. 

Why is space important in couples?  

  • You both have a chance to cool down and perceive the situation more calmly. 
  • You can re-organize your thoughts and develop a better understanding. 

Take advantage of mutual space to step back and think calmly about the situation at hand as well as your relationship. Some deep introspection will most likely assist you in overcoming your anger.

2. Express your emotions:

Avoid suppressing your feelings and let yourself feel your emotions is important when figuring out how to fix a relationship after a long fight. If something is affecting you, you have every right to confront it. Express your emotions to your partner, so it is easy to understand. 

This prevents many fights from originating as you expressed what was wrong before it became a grudge. 

Allow yourself to be with your emotions until they no longer feel as strong and aggressive. You and your partner may be ready to talk about the dispute after you both have regained your composure.

3. Make use of “I” statements:

After a disagreement, you must communicate properly to heal your 

relationship. To get the conversation started, use I statements. 

What are “I” statements?

  • Statements that are about what happened to you rather than what you believe happened to the other person.
  • Rather than beginning with “you,” some phrases start with the pronoun “I,” such as “I believe,” “I think,” and “I feel.”

As a result, your partner will not believe that you are blaming them or making assumptions about their part of the story. When you explain things from your point of view, your partner is less likely to become defensive and is more inclined to pay attention to what you are saying.

4. Take a break 

Sometimes, the issue can deteriorate into a heated dispute even if you utilize “I” statements and intently listen. In such cases, immediately notify your partner that you require time away from each other. 

Give each other space and spend some time with your own self. Then when you are ready, inform your lover of your desire to reunite and try again. 

Things to look forward to in this break:

  • Make sure that you return at the agreed-upon time. 
  • Make use of this opportunity to relax and acknowledge your emotions.
  • Consider what you might require to listen to your partner and communicate your requirements more freely. 

There is nothing wrong with taking a break when you genuinely need one, but doing so regularly can impair your ability to mend properly.

5. Engage in healthy conversations

“If there is to be reconciliation, first, there must be the truth.” – Timothy B. Tyson

Once you’ve both calmed down a little, try to engage in healthy conversation with your significant other. Make efforts as soon as possible to repair your damaged relationship. 

Avoid bringing up the argument or the reason that caused it in the first place. Keep in mind that you’re both on the same team and don’t want to cause each other any harm. After a fight, having a healing session is very important if you want your relationship to get back on track.

6. Express your regret and apologize: 

A true, heartfelt apology is one of the most basic and plain things you can do to help resolve a problem. However, when egos are involved, it is frequently the most difficult. 

When you’re in the wrong, you can feel it in your stomach, and admitting one’s faults is a sign of strength, not weakness. As a result, admit your mistake and apologize to your partner with maybe even a simple “sorry.” 

If saying sorry in words is difficult for you: 

  • You might look into some cute little methods to express your regret and make your loved one smile. 
  • Use small notes or gifts.
  • Maybe cook them their favorite dish, watch their favorite movie with them, or just try saying sorry with a classic rose and chocolate! 

When the equation is flipped, it will inspire your partner to follow your lead as well.

7. Discuss the solution:

As we stated in the introduction, some couples argue and continue to go back and forth with arguments. On the other hand, some couples can resolve their issues and recover from their disagreements consistently. 

There is always a solution. Always!

If you want to keep your relationship intact and in good health, you must find a solution to your problems and resolve your disagreements on time. 

How do you achieve that?

  • Take a moment to sit down with your partner and discuss the current unhealthy situation. 
  • Find the underlying issue causing the disagreement, and what can you or your partner do to influence or change this behavior or action. 
  • Make sure you talk about these options with closed ones and actively think about other options.
  • Come up with a compromise or a choice on how you will resolve the issue this time. 
  • Discuss how you’re going to prevent it from becoming a problem again in the future. 
  • Be open to adjusting where you can, for each other.

Arguing will only make things more stressful, leading to a relationship ending. 

8. Show them how much you care:

Fights can cause people to have second thoughts about their decision to stay with a certain individual or relationship. To strengthen the belief that you and your partner belong together and that a fight – no matter how big or nasty – is just an unpleasant experience, you must shower them with love and care regularly. 

Here’s how you can shower affection:

  • You can express affection verbally or through gestures such as hugging, kissing, planning a surprise date, or even going on a romantic getaway with your significant other. 
  • Instead of seeking solitude, try to find togetherness. 
  • Being the one to initiate a peaceful process is a powerful demonstration of one’s strength. Don’t be ashamed; instead, find a good time and a romantic way to say sorry.

How long should you wait to try to resolve an argument after it has erupted? 

Our advice is to get started as soon as possible! After a fight, it is not acceptable to stew and sulk unless it’s too severe and requires time for you to process it and be fine yourself first.

1. Make your relationship your number one priority:

One of the most effective ways to repair the damage caused by a big argument is by prioritizing your relationship with your partner. Make it clear to your partner that you have been unable to bear the thought of being apart from them and that they are the most important person in your life.

Leaving your loved one alone after a fight will only make things worse for everyone involved. It is also essential to know when you need space and when you don’t. 

2. Communicate with sincerity 

Effective communication is essential for a healthy and happy relationship. Couples who have had a big argument find it an invaluable tool in reuniting. If you have worked out your differences, try to have an open and honest conversation.

Tell your partner about the things that have bothered you the most, and keep an open mind when they tell you the same thing about themselves. This helps clear up any hidden or unresolved issues that can quickly add up and cause fights and conflicts.

3. Try not to give your partner the cold shoulder.

Taking some time to unwind after a fight is perfectly normal and expected, and it helps you collect your thoughts and comprehend the existing crisis. Even if you have some residual anger and frustration after the fight, avoid giving your partner the cold shoulder or giving them the silent treatment.

Why should you not give them the cold shoulder?

The only thing this will achieve is alienating your partner while also complicating the dynamics of your relationship further. If you can’t be yourself around your partner, say that you need more time to get back to your normal self-convictions.

When you’ve had a big fight, it’s understandable to feel upset and vulnerable emotionally. As you work to deal with your negative feelings, it’s important to keep in mind that a fight that goes on for too long can do more harm than good.

What can you do instead? 

Consider making a collective effort to gain control of your emotions and try to break the ice by engaging in a joint activity that you and your partner enjoy doing. So, you will be able to connect and lessen the harmful effects of distance and negativity on your relationship as a whole.

4. Step into their shoes: 

A difference in viewpoints or beliefs sparks the majority of fights. Divergent perspectives on a topic can result in miscommunication, conflict, and a failure to communicate effectively. 

Naturally, you and your partner will not always agree on everything. This is normal, and it’s even better as it can strike up meaningful conversations and also teach you to respect a difference in opinion.

What to do when you cannot agree with your partner? 

Instead of dismissing the other person’s point of view, the mature way to deal with such disagreements is to acknowledge them. Taking this step will help design your relationship into a shelter that allows you to thrive individually and as a couple.

5. Keep your cool and don’t jump to a conclusion

It takes time to fix a relationship after a long fight. However, just because a disagreement has been resolved does not necessarily imply that you have fully recovered from your setback. If you’ve had a big fight, don’t rush to reconnect.

Before attempting to return to your happy place, allow yourself the time you require to come to terms with the fact that something unpleasant and nasty has occurred between you two. Maintain a healthy distance from your partner during this time. 

Do not draw any wild conclusions about the parting based on temporary anger or disagreement, as it can cause unnecessary trust issues between the two of you. 

6. Maintain your routines and rituals:

The rituals that every couple practices regularly are different. Your relationship is defined by the small acts of togetherness that you perform, such as:

  • Cooking meals together
  • Grocery shopping together
  • Planning a date night every week, and so on.

As soon as you have resolved a disagreement and want to reconnect with your partner, make sure to get these rituals back in order. Take the initiative yourself, rather than waiting for your partner to do so or overthinking their reaction. 

Don’t be afraid to take the leap of faith and go for it. After a fight, come up with unique ways to make up.

FAQs on fixing a relationship after a long fight

While we are here on relationships and arguments, here are some of the frequently asked questions we come across:

1. How long does it take for a person to recover from a fight?

The amount of time it takes to recover from a fight is dependent on several factors. 

After a particularly vicious fight with your partner, it may take longer to recover than it would after a smaller fight or mild argument. What’s most important is understanding how to repair a relationship after a fight. 

2. How do you get through a disagreement in a relationship?

Firstly, inquiring about repairing a relationship after a disagreement shows that you are concerned. The best way to recover from a fight depends on various factors, including the subject matter, whether or not the fight was volatile, and so on.

When it comes to learning how to fix a relationship after a fight, most relationship experts agree that talking it out calmly is the best way to go about things. This is, without doubt, correct. If you want to succeed in your partnership, you must communicate openly, listen to one another, and ensure that both partners are heard. 

So, the right questions to ask would be: 

  • How do I heal myself after this fight?
  • How do I consistently make an effort to solve our issues?
  • What can I do to avoid escalating an argument? 
  • Does my communication need to be better?

3. What can I do to get my relationship back on track?

There are various things that you can do to help your relationship get back on track. In a romantic relationship, feelings of affection, communication, trust, honesty, and the ability to resolve conflicts are all necessary.

Increase your exhibitions of affection toward one another, and make sure that you are spending quality time and going on date nights regularly to strengthen your relationship.

In Conclusion,

Storms and upheavals are unavoidable in any relationship. To be prepared for these storms, it’s best to work on strengthening your relationship so that it can weather even the most severe setbacks.

If you notice a pattern in which you and your partner have frequent and particularly bad fights, try seeking the help of a couple of counselors or therapists who can help you learn how to fix a relationship after a long fight and get your relationship back on track. The best thing to do if you and your partner have a lot of bad fights is to get help.

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by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


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