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Relationships

10+ Non-Negotiables in a Relationship You Should Have

Non-Negotiables in a relationship is something everyone should have in dating.

Relationships are tough.

It is a constant compromise between two people’s ideas, beliefs, and feelings.

You are always trying to understand your significant other and find a balance between both of your expectations.

However, it is important to remember that compromising doesn’t mean you have to relinquish all sense of self and it doesn’t mean ignoring your own needs and what you want out of a healthy relationship.

You can compromise and still have your significant other give you the bare minimum.

Why do you need non-negotiables in your relationship?

Non negotiables are expectations that one or both partners have of the other, and it should be discussed openly and honestly before entering a long-term commitment.

We all want to be successful in our relationships, but boundaries are key if we want to feel valued. Setting clear limits with your partner can make all the difference between a happy, healthy relationship and an unhappy one.

How do you determine what your non negotiables are?

It’s essential that each person knows their non-negotiable qualities so they can make informed decisions when entering into a long-term commitment.

Relationships are about what you will tolerate – no one is perfect.

Make sure the things you will tolerate in your relationship are worth the effort and that you can live with them.

Non-Negotiable Qualities of a Healthy Relationship

Respect:

couple listening to music and laughing together

Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Mutual respect for each other’s feelings and opinions is key — this means no name-calling, belittling or verbal abuse of any kind. Everyone should feel safe to express their thoughts and emotions without fear of judgement or criticism from their partner.

Communication:

It’s important to create an atmosphere of openness and honesty so that both partners feel comfortable expressing their feelings, thoughts, and needs. Communication should be a two-way street.

Both parties need to respect each other enough to be honest about what they are feeling and thinking, even if it isn’t always easy. Developing excellent communication skills takes time and effort, but can make all the difference with building strong relationships with those we care about most.

Be Open Minded:

You can’t have good communication if you’re not open-minded about what your significant other is expressing to you. Respect their feelings and opinions, even if you don’t agree with them. It’s important to listen to and understand your partner’s point of view.

Do not make your partner feel alone in their own opinions.

Trust:

It’s difficult to build a strong bond with your partner with no trust.

They should keep no secrets or lies from each other. You don’t want to feel anxiety and like your partner is doing something that you don’t know about.

Remember, it should be easy. If your gut feeling is telling you something is off, it likely is.

Commitment:

Both partners should be dedicated to the relationship and make it a priority. It’s not enough to just say you’re committed, but each person needs to act in ways that show they are dedicated to making the relationship work.

This could mean taking time out of your day for date nights, showing appreciation for each other, or attempting to stay connected.

Be Caring:

Showing your partner that you care about them is essential.

This means taking the time to show affection, being supportive and attentive, and wanting the best for each other. Learn what their love language is and make sure you are expressing it in a way that is meaningful to them.

Compassion and understanding will go a long way in helping to build strong relationships.

Supportive:

In whatever goals you may have for the future, it is important to be supportive of each other. This means both verbal and non-verbal support, such as encouraging words, patience and cheerleading when needed.

Having someone in your corner who believes in you can make all the difference in achieving your dreams and aspirations and can have a great impact on the goals you set out to do.

Family:

To a lot of us, family is and always will be a priority. Having a partner who respects your family and appreciates them for who they are is something that should not be taken lightly — it can help to create strong bonds within your relationship.

It can be difficult if your significant other has different family dynamics than you do, but these are where the non negotiables come in.

If your family means a lot to you and your partner dismisses them, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.

Hobbies:

No one wants a partner who isn’t interested in their hobbies or to have dreams. It is important to support each other in whatever you both like to do, whether it be a hobby or an aspiration that you both want to achieve.

Having someone who will travel along with you on the journey of life can make all the difference. It doesn’t need to be all the time, but it is important to spend time together doing activities that you both enjoy.

Showing an interest in each other’s hobbies can go a long way in making a relationship successful.

Have Goals for their Future:

It’s not enough to just live in the present and hope for the best.

It’s important to set goals both as individuals and as a couple that you can work towards achieving together. This could be anything from short-term goals such as taking a weekend getaway to longer-term goals such as saving for a house.

If your partner doesn’t have individual goals, it might be worth having a discussion about what they would like to achieve in life. This can help to strengthen your connection and provide motivation for both of you to strive for the future.

If wanting to grow with someone is a nonnegotiable for you and you don’t see that the person you’re with will put in the effort in themselves, it might be time to reevaluate if the relationship is worth investing in.

Not Controlling:

It’s important to be honest and open with your partner without being controlling. No one wants a partner who is constantly telling them what to do and how to act. It’s okay to express your opinions and disagree with each other, but they should do it respectfully.

Allowing each other freedom and space is important for any relationship.

If you feel like your partner is too controlling or not respecting your boundaries, it may be time to consider if this is the right relationship for you.

Being Yourself:

If you feel you can’t be yourself authentically in your relationship, then you need to let it go. An absolute non-negotiable is that you can be yourself and not feel judged or like you need to hide any part of your personality.

Having someone in your life who will accept you for who you are, flaws and all, is an invaluable gift.

The ability to be loved unconditionally, and to love, is something that should never be taken for granted.

Bottom Line

All relationships require work and effort from both partners. It’s important to know what your non negotiables in a relationship are and make sure they’re being met by your partner.

If they’re not, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and decide if it is worth investing in. Remember that these non negotiables in your relationships don’t mean you’re too much or asking for too much; it’s simply recognizing that you deserve the best and not settling for anything less.

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by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


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