fbpx
Attractive young girl closing her boyfriend's eyes and surprising him with birthday gift at park
Relationships

How to Reassure Your Boyfriend & Make Him Feel Loved

Learning how to reassure your boyfriend is such an important thing to learn in your relationship.

“Love is a game that two can play and both win.” Eva Gabor

If you’re in long-term relationships, you could get so used to being around your partners that you may forget to remind your partners of the significance they take up in your life.

coupe out on a picnic playing together on top of one another

Reminding your partner of all or even a few reasons why you chose to be with them in the first place could be something they genuinely appreciate. This can even turn into a healthy ritual for your relationship. 

The real question arises when you ask yourself, “how do I reassure my partner that I truly love them?” If a grand gesture like renting out a whole restaurant isn’t your thing, something as small as cooking them their favorite meal on a quiet Saturday afternoon will do the trick. 

Try to understand what your or your partner’s love language is; this way, you could express yourself better. If you don’t know, love language is how you often communicate your affection towards your adored ones. 

Here are a few great ways you can reassure your boyfriend: 

Words of affirmation

If your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, your partner probably is someone who is very vocal and expressive about their feelings. Their life motto is “Words speak louder than actions.”

What affirmations can you use, and how do they help? 

guy picking up his girlfriend showing how appreciative he is of her
  • Hearing an “I am proud of you” after a rough day at work could be just what your partner might need to feel “seen” by you. 
  • Thanking them for things they do for you by going out of their way could be a simple but thoughtful gesture that proves that you’re grateful for all the little things. “I support you” could be an easy way to show them that no matter the ups and downs, you’ll always be standing by their side.
  • “You inspire me.” Sometimes the person you love can be your greatest muse. May it be in terms of art or life. 
  • “I’m sorry” if you’re ready to be the first one to admit your mistake after an argument is a way of reassuring your partner that they’re more important to them than being right. 

Consciously wanting to be and do better in life for your partner is something many people in relationships experience. Telling your partner that they inspire you to be a better person could make them appreciate the genuine effort you’re putting into the relationship. 

Why are words of affirmation reassuring?

  •  It is a way to say what your partner wants to hear gently.
  • It is a way to encourage your partner constantly by communicating your exact feelings to them.

Acts of service

If you know your partner inside out, an act of service is the way to express your love to them without saying much. 

couple playing while cleaning boyfriend sitting on the couch

Doing dishes when it should’ve been their turn, going grocery shopping, helping them do the laundry they’ve been putting off, cooking them their favorite meal, or ordering their go-to take-out order are some lovely gestures. 

These are the ways to tell your partner that you love them without having to put them into words. 

Acts of service can be a great way to show them that you can be a pillar in their life when they have too much on their plate. 

Why are acts of service reassuring?

  • It shows them that you’re reliable and would be glad to help out in any way possible. 
  • It shows your partner that they don’t have to do all of it alone, and it is okay to look to you for help sometimes. 
  • It shows your readiness to be a part of your partner’s daily routine at any given point in time.

Doing little things for them, no matter how trivial they might seem at the moment, makes your partner feel at ease and comfortable. 

Reminding them to do something that they might usually forget or overlook, like staying hydrated or taking their medicines, is a great way to show them that you care and look out for them constantly.

Acts of service make your partner feel that they are cared for. They won’t feel like a burden while asking for help in situations that can be emotionally taxing. 

Communication 

Communication is a key to a lot of doors, one of them being a healthy relationship. There is no better way to express gratitude and reassure your partner of their place in your life than by clearly communicating it to them.

couple communicating healthy

Usually, when couples end up in arguments, many things are left unsaid in the heat of the moment. Not being able to clearly tell your partner about what’s on your mind can get emotionally draining at some point. 

Work on communicating and reassuring your partner that aside from the fights and conflict, the end goal is to find your way back to each other. 

If you don’t know where to start, maybe try talking about the following few things: 

  • Tell your partner of all the things that bother you.
  • The things you appreciate and the things you’d like to work on together.  

Reassure them that in every argument, it’s you and them against the problem. It is greatly consoling to someone looking for reassurance when in conflict. 

Why can communication be reassuring?

Shows your partner that you are willing to express your feelings whenever needed.

May it be a handwritten letter telling them how much they mean to you or a two-liner text telling them you appreciate them. It is always well received.

Gifts

There is nothing wrong if your partner’s love language is receiving gifts. It takes a lot of time, effort, and thought to pick out a gift for someone you think they’d like. 

In your partner’s eyes, it’s probably the thought that went into it that matters and not just the gift itself.

girlfriend surprising boyfriend with gifts

A few gift ideas:   

  • Gifts come in all shapes and sizes, so get quirky and creative. 
  • A Bouquet is a classic that never goes wrong! 
  • Get them something they’ve had an eye on. Everyone likes that one thing that they loved but didn’t buy. Look for that one thing. 
  • Make them a care package out of all of their favorite things.
  • If they love reading, then there’s always a book that’s been on their list for too long. All you have to do is ask! 
  • Or you could go as far as doing something together that your partner enjoys, like joining them for that dance lesson and paying for it. 
  • Taking them to their favorite restaurant and having a meal with them. After all, food is the way to someone’s heart. 

And if you’re not too sure about what your partner needs, gift cards are the answer. It could be a gift card from their favorite brand or any place they frequently shop at. 

Why can gifting be reassuring?

  • It’s a great way to show that you know and are aware of your partner’s likes and dislikes. It also shows them that you are attentive to their needs. 
  • It can be a way to pamper your partner once in a while and make them feel cared for.
  • It shows that you’re making a conscious effort by going out of your way and finding them something that would bring them joy upon receiving.

Gifting isn’t that different from acts of service as a love language. Both of them come from a primary place of thoughtfulness and careful consideration! 

Quality Time 

“Spend quality time with those you love. One of these days, you will either say, “I wish I had” or “I am glad I did.” – Zig Ziglar 

If your significant other’s love language is quality time, the first step to reassuring them would be offering them your undivided attention.

couple spending quality time together

A few date ideas to spend quality time:

  • Going out on picnics – Being an old-school romantic, eating cherries and pizzas under the open sky can be very relaxing. Reading to each other and lying down in silence can also feel liberating in a relationship. 
  • Try out new restaurants – Nothing like a stomach full with a happy meal for foodies. Food can fuel many feelings and moods, and trying out cuisines can be exciting for many couples.
  • Have a movie night – Go to the theaters if y’all share the love for cinema or stay in and watch a movie. Get some popcorn and pull up your blankets to watch your favorite films together.
  • Go on frequent date nights – Take them to all of their favorite spots in the city or ask them if there’s something that they would like to do. 

If you’re willing to commit to it, you could keep your phone away for a day to minimize distractions and plan out a whole day with them doing activities they like, you like, or even better, a mix of both. 

Quality time can be spent while something as simple as cooking a meal together as well.

Why is spending quality time with your partner essential?

  • It proves that you’re ready to keep everything apart and prioritize them every once in a while.
  • It encourages you to live in the moment and enjoy your time with them while fully being in the moment.
  • It will make your partner feel reassured about the fact that you place them above all else.

Put Extra Efforts

Relationships are work, honey, and they aren’t 50/50. Some days when I get up I only feel like giving 10%, then your granddaddy has to give 90% that day. But there is always 100% love.” Leigh Ann Lunsford

Don’t shy away from putting extra effort into the relationship. Just because we are deserving of love does not mean we are excused from the work required for a relationship to thrive.

Relationships aren’t guaranteed just because you are in one, and shouldn’t be taken for granted. A reason why many partners don’t feel as assured is because of the gradual lack of effort. It can be numbing not to know if your partner is still interested in you. 

Both the partners should face their blind spots and try to hold the mirror for each other as they navigate through life.

How is putting an effort reassuring?  

There might be moments when your partner might not be feeling their best, and in such times, it is essential to remind them that they are worth all the efforts in the world and they can rely on you. 

Going out of your way to express your feelings is a route you can take to put a smile on their face. 

Some efforts that you can make in your relationship: 

  • Waking up extra early to prepare breakfast for them
  • Surprising them by picking them up from work.
  • Reading them out their favorite novel (even if you are a non-reader)
  • Learning to play an instrument so that you can play them later.

Early Morning or Late Night Dates

There’s a thing about the first sunshine in the morning and the silence of the nights. Sneak out of your houses for some adventure, and feel the spark ignite again. 

Living these insignificant moments can be either nostalgic or unexplored, and it can reassure your partner that they can still love and laugh with you. 

couple spending time on a pretty day outside

Things to do in the morning/night:

  • As hopelessly romantic it may sound, dance under the moonlight or go stargazing. 
  • Wake up at 6 am, when it’s dark out and the world’s still sleeping. Drive to nowhere and buy the most flavored coffee. Drink it in the car and try to guess the flavors from each other’s mouths. 
  • Take pictures of the red, pink and purple sunrise, stay silent with the universe and feel the world wake up. 

This can also help them realize how much you want them and enjoy spending time with just them. 

Compliment and Appreciate 

Let’s just agree that men don’t get enough compliments, and even if they do, it is generally on how they look or dress up. We never compliment them on their intellectual capacity or emotional awareness, sometimes leaving a hollow feeling. 

As much as it is essential to compliment them on their looks, it can be uplifting and reassuring to remind them of their excellent qualities. 

Why is this important? 

Complimenting and appreciating little things can help your partner feel loved. It’s important to remind your partner what makes you attracted to him or what about him is your favorite thing. 

Go beyond the materialistic set of compliments; notice him and praise him for things that are exclusive to his personality. Make him feel special and still wanted by you. 

How can you compliment them besides their appearance? 

Say things like:

  • “I love your smile.”  
  • “I feel safe around you.”
  • “I love how you’re so passionate.”
  • “I appreciate the little things you do.”
  • “I really like your vibe.”
  • “I admire how giving you are.”
  • “You bring out the best in me.”
  • “You are amazing.” 

Notice the details and compliment him on them. It’ll make him feel loved and, in turn, even more attracted to you. 

Be their comfort blanket. 

The level of comfort that you share with your partner makes sure you both feel safe and reassured. Keeping aside yourself and listening to your partner express his problems can be a good way of telling him that you’re there for him. 

couple comforting each other and being there for each other

Everyone needs someone they can come back home to express themselves and be vulnerable, irrespective of everything and free of judgment. Be that person for your partner so that they can rely on you. 

How can you do so?

  • Saying a simple, “I’m right here” is all he needs to hear. No matter how tough and strong he may seem on the outside, his soft heart would beat harder for you. 
  • Just be patient with them. We know it’s easier said than done, but it’s precisely what you need to do when someone needs you. 
  • Kindness goes a long way in all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. Instead of looking uninterested if your man is having a bad day, express your support. 

Too often, we get caught up in keeping our cool and forget about the tiny things that may make a significant difference, like being a comfort blanket for your partner. Start supporting your loved ones today! 

Discuss, Express and Acknowledge Problems: 

Your partner goes through an everyday struggle, just like you. It is essential to show empathy and compassion towards them. 

Whether it’s an annoying client at work, or something personal, encouraging your partner to sit down and find solutions together can be the best way to understand your partner better.  

Why is it important? 

When your partner is aware that they have a shoulder to lean on, someone to support them, and that they can talk to you about anything and everything, it would eventually strengthen your bond.  

How can discussing, expressing and acknowledging be reassuring? 

couple having a healthy discussion
  • Discuss the solution 

Firstly, let them rant about the problem. Let them have their space to blow off the steam before you can sit down together to identify the root cause of the problem. Once you’ve done that, you’re halfway closer to the solution.

Doing so can assure them that they can ask for your help in times of stress without feeling hesitant. 

Understanding how your partner feels about a particular situation is essential. Remember, you’re a team. And you both have equal rights to express your perspective. Just make sure you aren’t invalidating their thoughts.

This creates a safe environment for them to open up and communicate with you whenever they feel distant from any problems or insecurities.

Giving your partner a promise to work on your problems will show you in a better light and make it easier for you and your partner to talk. When you make a mistake, it’s important to accept it and say, “I’m sorry, I understand why you felt bad” or “I understand why that must’ve been hurtful.” 

Acknowledging your mistakes will ensure that you are mature and capable enough not to jump the gun during an argument.

In Conclusion

couple loving each other on a bicycle

Learning how to reassurance your boyfriend is key to a healthy relationship. Reminding your partner that they mean the world to you can be a little difficult, and there are only so many times you can tell them that you love them. 

However, it is a two-way street that makes people on both ends feel more secure about their significant other. Consciously acting on the appreciation you have for your partner by encouraging them with kind words and actions is something all of us should be mindful of.  

Comment
by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


More From Relationships

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.