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Relationships

How to Not Feel Lonely When Single? 15 Tips to Overcome Loneliness!

Learning how to not feel lonely when single can be a really hard task.


First of all, I don’t think there’s any shame in being single— I think being single is empowering. I mean, I understand loneliness can be depressing, but instead of being with the wrong person, it’s better to be single

I want to tell you that you’re not alone in this journey. Many unmarried people out there are happy and enjoying their lives with their pets and family. 

In this 21st century, people choose to be single and crave to be financially strong and independent more than being dependent on someone for emotional needs. Their new goals are to be rich, have children, and travel even without having a partner. 

Being single and being happy is a journey— you may find yourself sad today without a partner, but there’s a different kind of peace in solitude & freedom.

To truly be happy when single, you have to make yourself solid and independent. You need to learn to be content alone because it’s your responsibility, and nobody’s going to do that but you. 

What Loneliness Looks Like Up Close?

  • Loneliness affects our mental health.
  • We feel numb and don’t have the will to go out.
  • Or enjoy life.

The worst amongst it all is watching people posting cute photos with their partner, stories of their romance, and whatnot. Please remember that what looks perfect on social media might be different in real life, so stop comparing your life with other people

Loneliness goes straight to your head and disturbs your mental peace, especially when you look around your environment and watch people getting married, engaged, or even in a relationship. 

I understand this exhaustion. But just because you’re craving company, you shouldn’t jump into an inappropriate relationship. Instead, start developing your mind-body, interact with new people, and don’t waste your time thinking you’re lonely because you’re not. You have yourself, and that’s enough. 

Time is very precious, and you shouldn’t waste a second of it. Believe that someone’s out there who deserves you and will love you more than life (might be a pet). They will come into your life at the right time, but until then, you can’t just sit and wait because you’re too good to be waiting for someone. 

I know it’s not going to be easy to manage this but first, take a deep breath and stop panicking; life is not a race, and you’ll get everything that you desire at the right time. 

Reasons Why You May Feel Lonely

There are multiple reasons why individuals deal with loneliness when single.

  • It may be because of past relationship traumas caused by heartbreak. You might have been in a long relationship and have forgotten how to live alone, but that’s okay. 
  • You miss your ex-partner.
  • You have been taught to be dependent since childhood. 
  • Societal stigmas pressure us into believing that life’s empty without a companion. 

However, times are changing. People are choosing

Change your perspective on your relationship status, and you’ll start seeing things differently. 

So, in this article, you’ll know some fantastic tips on how not to feel lonely when single and to embrace your singlehood like none. 

1. Immerse yourself in meaningful activities: 

Happiness is your choice, and it depends on you. It’s a mindset that you create in your head about the things that make you happy. Be creative, do things that make you happy instead of thinking about your relationship status. 

First, you have to learn to be happy alone and share your happiness with other people.  

Start engaging in activities that bring excitement to you, like joining a swimming class, gym, adopting a new hobby, partying, or anything that gets your mind peace and self-love. 

2. Don’t wait to be in a relationship

Time is precious, and if you wait for things to happen, you’re going to wait for a long time. We are all humans, and we overthink too much, which is okay. What’s not okay is being stuck in a place for too long. Start working on your goals, and you’ll get what you deserve. 

We spend a lot of our time thinking of the ‘what ifs.’ I don’t think you have to wait for anything or anybody to come into your life and give you all the love because you are capable of everything yourself. Life is precious, and you must learn to enjoy it even if you’re alone.  

In the 21st century, you can have kids, travel more, can buy expensive things by yourself without even having a partner by your side. So what are you even waiting for? Just have faith in yourself, and the right things will come to you at the right time. 

3. Use your past to inform your future

We all have past traumas that still haunt our minds, but try to take these as important lessons in your life. 

No doubt your past is going to pop up without you even realizing it, like on a particular song, place, or anything that reminds you of your history. 

Bad memories will stick with you for a long time, but you have to control your mind, and you can because it’s your mind, and you have the remote to it. 

Remember not to compare your past to your present and ruin your future. Start appreciating your present as you are free now and not stuck in any toxic situation. Improve your today by letting go of your past and becoming the best version of yourself. 

4. Tell your friends how you feel: 

It’s necessary to say things out to lower the weight you feel in your heart. If you feel left out, discuss your emotions with your friends and know their side of the story. 

It’s okay to express your inner feelings because, trust me, your friends will understand. You may feel left behind because half your friends are already married, engaged, or in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they love you any less or that you cannot be happy. 

Please avoid comparing yourself to other people, whether they are your family members, friends, or anyone. 

5. Do put yourself on a pedestal: 

Don’t start thinking that you’re not worthy of love or you have to change yourself to let people love you. 

The worst you can do is change yourself for somebody else, and it’s almost like losing yourself. The more that you change yourself for somebody else, you’ll lose a part of yourself, and soon you’ll become unhappy within. Start learning from your past and be yourself. 

Of course, the right person will love you for what/who you are, so you don’t have to be somebody else, just be yourself, and the world will adjust. 

6. Don’t put your date on a pedestal: 

After an unsuccessful relationship, the start of another can make you think the next relationship could be ‘the one.’ You will start expecting more, and then again, you’ll create a future in your head. First, you need to stop pressuring yourself for things you cannot control. 

Stop expecting too much from people as they will love you according to their ability, but you can love yourself beyond your capacities. It’s you that you have to expect things from, and you’ll never be heartbroken again. 

7. Recognize that not all your thoughts are facts: 

I know we’re humans, and we overthink things too much but know that being single is normal, and there’s nothing wrong with you. We make thoughts in our heads and overthink situations that don’t even exist. 

Negative thoughts will always pop up in your head but know that these thoughts are nothing but a distraction from your present. 

It would be best to stop these negative thoughts that burden you down for nothing. If you think that you’re not good enough for that guy, know that, you’re enough and worthy of everything that brings you happiness and love. 

8. Sign up for a new sport, class, or activity that involves other people: 

Instead of locking yourself away from the world when you feel lonely, get up, try and start socializing. Join a partner yoga, a book club, be involved in a club sports team, join a panel discussion, and many other activities. 

Start forcing yourself to be at places where there are other people so that it’s almost impossible for you to feel lonely. These people will help you divert your mind, change your perspective, and soon you’ll have a different view on life. 

9. Start changing the way you think: 

Loneliness leaves us sensitive and empty. In situations like these, you’ll focus more on negative thoughts, disagreements, and criticism, and that’s never good! 

You will have to change how you think and stop sabotaging your optimism. If you ever get negative thoughts, identify them, and replace them with a favorable situation. It’s your mind, and you can have complete control over it. 

Your change of perception towards solitude and freedom will help you build confidence, think positively, reduce loneliness, and make you feel good from within. Change your perspective and start embracing your singlehood. 

10. Invest in other relationships: 

It’s important to value other relationships in your life, like your family, friends, co-workers, and others. You will be in the worst mental health when you feel lonely, and the amount of love and support your other relationships give you is essential. Start focusing on people who want nothing but the good for you. 

So, while you are single, start making connections with other people, hang out with them, chat, make new friends, and know what’s going on in their lives. 

Start building connections with new people as it’s essential to help improve your mental health. Start socializing and enjoy these new interactions with other good people. Fortunately, there are still single people out there, and you haven’t met them yet. So, ensure that you always look forward to meeting new people.

11. Focus on the benefits of singlehood: 

Who says there are no benefits to staying single? There are plenty of benefits of singlehood. 

  • Being single for a long time doesn’t mean you will end up dying alone. No, it means that God has made someone special for you, and they will come in time. Furthermore, God doesn’t want you to be stuck in a bad relationship, and that’s why you are single right now. 
  • If you are single right now, it doesn’t mean you are lonely; it means that you have time to focus on more important things. Like, pursuing your goals, self-care, getting educated, working hard to develop a career for you that you deserve. 
  • It’s time to get to know yourself more— about your preferences and needs; it’s your space to understand what you can tolerate and whatnot, as this will help you choose a better partner for yourself in the future. 
  • You can develop new skills, become more creative, and nobody can stop you from becoming the best of yourself. 
  • Start practicing more physical and mental self-love, work on yourself, reshape your body, enhance your mind and eat healthily. 

12. Make a to-do list for your heart: 

Your heart has suffered enough, and now it’s time to take care of it. Take a piece of paper and a pen, 

  • start making lists of what you want from your life, 
  • how will you work on them, 
  • write steps to steps, 
  • how you want to spend your precious time, 
  • write all the things your heart desires and promise to work hard to fulfill all of them. 

Paste the list on your wall as it’ll remind you that there’s so much more that you want from life, and these are the real things worth stressing over. 

Promise yourself to go through your list and fulfill at least one goal every five months. Try to be positive by being alone and focusing on yourself. 

13. Take a break from social media

I’m not asking you to delete all your social media accounts; I’m just asking you to take a break from it. Social media can exhaust your mind, especially when you are already feeling lonely, like seeing couples’ pictures and engagement stories.

What people show ideally might be different in reality. So, take a step back from wasting your whole day lying down and scrolling through social media. Try to be more active in real life, fill your house with music, give yourself rewards for coming this far in life and embrace the beauty of being alone and mighty.  

14. Take care of something: 

Pets are the best creatures in this world, and they will love you endlessly. Pets can never see you upset; they’ll give you cuddles and are great to provide you with emotional comfort. 

You can also do some fun activities with them like taking them for a morning-evening walk, bathing together, playing, and so much more.

Pets will love you more than life, so focus more on enjoying yourself with your pets because these moments are precious and will stay with you for a lifetime. 

15. Talk to a mental health professional: 

If you have tried all the things but still feel lonely and nothing is working for you now, it’s time to seek professional help because you have exhausted yourself enough. 

Suppose you still feel lonely when you are around a bunch of people. 

In that case, you may feel hopeless. When you don’t have any control over your feelings and cannot stop your emotions, it’s time to talk to a psychiatrist or therapist who will help you understand things better and help you deal with your loneliness. 

Sometimes, nothing works, not people, not socializing, and it’s okay; there is no problem in seeking help from the outside because if that helps make you feel better, go for it. 

Bottom line 

It’s important to remember that life is not a race; you can have things at the right time. Just like that, life is unpredictable too; you never know what will happen; so enjoy the journey with fun without worrying about the destination. Learning how to not feel lonely when single can difficult, but not impossible.

Embrace your singlehood and if you want a connection, initiate it with people worth your love. It’s the 21st century, and you can still have happiness, money, and children without having a partner by your side.

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by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


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