fbpx
Relationships

How to Stay Emotionally Connected in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Some claim that ‘long-distance relationships never last,’ while others argue that ‘it is not even a real relationship.’ You must have come across these judgments and are now concerned because you question how to stay emotionally connected in a long-distance relationship.

Take a deep breath; you are not doomed! Read this— A long-distance relationship is actually more successful because it teaches you

  • to respect your partner, their boundaries,
  • and have something more emotionally connected than physical love. 

Remember, every relationship is unique and different on its own. Partners who spend time together daily have failed relationships and so do lovers who live far away. 

On the brighter side, these relationships (whether close or long-distance) have just equal chances of succeeding at love. 

What I personally believe is that “Distance in a relationship cannot be measured by miles per hour, but by differences per understanding!”

If your love is true, no distance can break you apart. As cliche as it might sound, efforts can make everything work. Every relationship will have struggles of its own; you just have to work it out and believe in your true feelings! 

Why are Long-Distance Relationships Special?

girl on the phone communicating with her long distance boyfriend

A long-distance relationship has its own charm— 

  • you connect heart-to-heart, 
  • The communication is powerful, 
  • love goes beyond physical affection, 
  • And you witness something more powerful that nobody has. 
  • There’s thrill and adventure when dating a partner far away from you. 
  • The old-fashioned relationship takes you back to golden times. To spice everything up, write actual letters and surprise your partner.
  • The intensity is uncanny. 
  • Trust me, your heart flutters more in a long-distance relationship.

However, the distance sometimes kills us and you’re trying to figure out how to stay emotionally connected throughout all of this. To heal your aching heart, I have stockpiled some of the key points on how you can maintain your Healthy Long-Distance Relationship.

Long Distance VS Normal Relationship

Everyone has a different opinion. People who just can’t hug or kiss their long-distance partner yearn to meet them soon. On the other hand, people who are in live-ins or normal life wish to have some private time for themselves. 

So the success rate of a relationship depends on the individual, their lifestyle, needs, goals, and values.

Every relationship has a lot to offer, and it is you who is solely responsible for making it work. A quote by George R.R. Martin: 

“A sword is only as good as the man who wields it.”

A relationship can only be long-lasting when you and your partner are both willing to make sacrifices, love, commitments, honesty, trust, and an emotional bond.

So these are some of the important hacks for you that helped me and surely will help you too.

How to Stay Emotionally Connected in a Long-Distance Relationship?

Emotional connection works as a bridge for a healthy long-distance relationship. Being connected emotionally leads to comments like— “Damn! They are still together! WOW!” Have you heard of the song ‘Hey there Delilah?’ by Plain White T’s?

If you haven’t, you should definitely! The lyrics will re-spark your love for your partner. 

“A thousand miles seems pretty far

But they’ve got planes and trains and cars

I’d walk to you if I had no other way.

Our friends would all make fun of us

And we’ll just laugh along because we know

That none of them have felt this way

Delilah, I can promise you

That by the time we get through

The world will never ever be the same

And you’re to blame”

1. Plan date nights/plan to meet: 

girl on an online date with her long distance boyfriend staying emotionally connected
Side view of beautiful young woman dating online on laptop at home

Yes! Plan a trip to meet your partner and spend time with them. Go for shopping, dates, and private cozy time too. But it isn’t possible for some scenarios, right? 

For this, have proper planning and organize a date night on video calls, and please don’t reschedule it.

Don’t wait for a special occasion to celebrate and spend a cozy date night. Instead, be spontaneous and show your love over a video call. Don’t take your video call dates casually. 

No, make sure you dress yourself up and look minty fresh. Beautifully decorate your room with lights and roses to make your partner feel special. 

Surprise them with a hand-made gift that you can courier later and talk endlessly. 

  • Notice small things about your partner and praise those small details. “I love your smile,” “your eyes are beautiful,” “your dress/shirt is pretty,” “I can look at you all night long.”
  • If you are cooking by yourself, make sure your partner is a part of that adventure. Individuals love to watch their partners cook for them! 
  • Make jokes and make your partner laugh wholeheartedly. 

2. Feel connected beyond social media

Being on the phone/video call, chit-chatting or sending snaps is good. But we all encounter a time when we need their presence right in front of us. 

For that, have their hoodies, clothes, perfumes, or letters to feel their aura. This will surely calm your nerves and soothe your heart. Your partner’s scent and voice can do wonders to your restless nature; trust me on that! 

So, make sure you collect their fragrance, clothes, and voice notes for times like these. 

girl wearing hoodie

3. Understand the power of Greetings: 

Wishing each other a good morning/good night can stimulate affection and care towards your partner. A small message not only brings a smile to their faces but also makes them think about you. 

4. Make time for L-O-V-E SEX: 

Yes! I’m talking about Intimacy-sex. Not being present physically doesn’t mean you cannot make love to your partner. Have a quirky sex chat or a phone call. In fact, sexting is more stimulating and rewarding. 

During sex, individuals often skip on dirty, sensual talk and eye contact. However, everything is so much more sexual and intimate on a video call. Be a little dirty, and don’t let that fire fade away. Satisfy your and your partner’s lust. 

  • Keep eye-contact.
  • Let your sensual energy reach their ears. Be as erotic as you can. Break boundaries and divulge into the best phone sex one can ever witness.
  • Moan, let your partner know that you need them just as much as they do. 
  • Don’t leave everything to imagination when it’s time. Be all out there for your partner. Sexual satisfaction is very necessary to make your long-distance relationship work. 

5. Communicate as much as possible: 

boyfriend and girlfriend trying to stay emotionally connected through their long distance relationship

Communication is the panacea for any relationship. If there is no effective talking session, relationships are bound to end. 

Find time to talk to your soulmate, share your emotions, ask how the day went, and discuss your interests. 

Make time for your partner and have interesting topics to talk about. Ask questions about your partner and let them know that you want to learn them like your life depends on it. 

Try to keep time zones for different kinds of conversation. Your small talk shouldn’t interfere or cut down the time for your sensual/emotional discussions. 

There are always times when we get busy with life and cannot spend much time on the phone. At times like these, make sure your partner knows where you are and why you cannot call/talk. Trust and communication can make everything work! 

6. Jump over to the old-fashion way

girl writing love letters

What is that supposed to mean? I am trying to tell you to write and send Love-Letters to your soulmate. There’s something more special about written letters than love messages on mobile phones. 

They are more personal and old-fashioned. Plus, old-fashion techniques always add extra aesthetics to your relationship. You can write so much more and so many personal details through letters. Also, people love to see their partner’s handwriting for reasons unknown— it’s stimulating. 

The scent of letters and the voice while reading the letter you hear are incomparable.

7. Create healthy boundaries

Yes! Boundaries aid in strengthening the emotional bond in a relationship. 

  • It makes your partner realize the limits they should adhere to, 
  • Helps to provide a good sense of emotional responsibility concerning your precious bond. 

Boundaries help you respect your partner and save the relationship. 

  • You don’t have to stay over a call 24*7 to make this relationship work. No, some space virtually is always good. 
  • Let your partner know when you are emotionally available to take the call and talk endlessly. 
  • Discuss insecurities and past events to create boundaries that will stop you from hurting your partner unintentionally. 

8. Prioritize mentioning your boring stuff: 

Sometimes, asking and telling the same questions and mentioning the same events makes the communication lose its warmth. 

To add spark and spice to your daily conversations, talk about your mundane details that nobody shows interest in, tell about your darkest desires and mistakes. 

Trust me, your partner wants to know everything about you— from your broken nail to your sleep schedule. So, share it all without hesitating.  

Don’t fret and share the basic boring stuff like:

  • how you burnt noodles today, 
  • why you were late, 
  • What is your favorite sleeping position? Etc.

My favorite part is gossiping with my partner, so gossip it all, whatever you can and want! 

9. Be expressive: 

Are you holding your emotions back and not letting your partner know your true feelings to stop fights or arguments? 

Trust me! Keeping these emotions inside will ruin your relationship in the long term. It’s best to fight things out than to give birth to grudges.

Be expressive and let out what you are worrying about. Discuss and talk about things you don’t like or upset you. Else, you may end up unloving your partner without even knowing.

10. Have rose-colored glasses: 

It is really good to discuss and talk about how you both want to live together and what your future may look like. Discuss what you will do when you first meet your lover on date nights. Tell your partner how tightly you will hug them when you finally meet them. 

11. Send Gifts to them

This is one of the best ways to remind your partner that they are special. Not only does it give an adrenaline rush of—”Awww! I am so lucky to have you as my boo!” But it also stimulates love chemicals in your partner’s mind that surely bridge an emotional connection. 

Not every gift has to be expensive or studded with diamonds. Your surprises can be personal, like the guitar she mentioned a few days back or the dress he talked about. In fact, they can be as small as a color palette/canvas/brushes/stationary(if your partner is into art) or their favorite beer. 

Depending on their needs and choices, you can also invest time creating hand-made gifts for your partner. It works as a great turn-on! 

girlfriend surprising boyfriend with a romantic birthday present

12. Tell them about your family culture: 

Yes! When you talk about your family and/or share some specific rituals, you actually send a signal that you are serious about your relationship. This makes your companion love you and provide the best to this special bond.

13. Surprise your presence: 

All of the points mentioned above help tremendously in establishing a long-distance relationship. However, visiting your partner at regular intervals serves as the icing on the cake. 

It not only improves their mood and feelings for you but also replenishes the memories or moments to compensate when you both are distanced physically.

girl surprising her long distance boyfriend
parr on arrival or verabschiedeung on a platform at a station

Signs of a Healthy Long-Distance Relationship

Sooner or later, couples come across fights that may lead them to question their whole relationship and its foundation. Please remember fights and arguments are a healthy part of your relationship— don’t let them damage your flourishing relationship. 

We, as humans, have a tendency to question things that are good for us. To save you from all the confusion, here are some signs of letting you know that your partner truly loves you despite the distance keeping you both apart. 

  • They don’t hold back on sacrifice: If your partner doesn’t flinch even a bit to sacrifice for the sake of you or the relationship, trust me, they adore you a lot. All you need is to just hold back a little and understand their situations or problems, too.
  • They respect you: Love is indeed important for a relationship, but respect holds the same weightage if you want your bond to go beyond the limits. Respecting each other is a must-have in an idol relationship.
  • Their homies know about you: We all flex our relationship or our partner in front of our friends in a healthy way. C’mon, we all did that. This also tells that your partner allows you into their personal world, and you are a person they are delighted to brag about.
  • Grudges never stay: There are arguments and questions when there’s love and care. It is normal to have fights but moving on from conflicts and resolving the issues is what provokes a long-lasting relationship.
  • You have your own identity apart from being their “babe”: Yes, being fully occupied by a relationship can soon become suffocating. If your partner allows you personal space without questioning your faithfulness, they love you, and they love your individuality. 
  • Adore and accept dumbness: When you are with them (chatting or on a video call), you don’t have to fake your existence, the way you talk, or the way you behave. 

Your partner accepts and appreciates the ‘real you,’ and that’s what matters at the end of the day. They enjoy themselves fully with the person you are. Not only this, but they consider your weirdness to be your special feature. 

Questions to ask your Long-Distance Partner

  1. What is the first thing you want to do when we meet next time?
  1. How do you want to spend the holidays or weekends when we’ll be together?
  1. Did I visit your dreams, or did you have any wet dreams about us?
  1. How do you see us in the next five years?
  1. What do you consider as your biggest achievement till now?
  1. Is there anything you don’t like about me or something you wanted to talk about?
  1. What type of food do you prefer to eat— sweet or spicy? What is your favorite dish?
  1. What is that one thing that haunts you? Do you have any phobias?
  1. What is your favorite thing about me? What drives you towards me despite the distance?
  1. What type of person are you in bed: submissive or dominant?

These are some of the questions that can work as the chili flakes in your normal Margherita conversation. HTML!

Are Long-Distance Relationships Healthy?

coupe holding hands

The answer lies between the distance of your willingness to hold on and appreciate that difference. Being in a relationship, it is essential to be intimate; it can strengthen the bond. Having a distance from your partner may ruin a relationship, but that’s not always the case.

Relationships work not because of the physical connection but through communication. People can be close physically and still so far emotionally.  

So, for starters, communication is the key. I am not talking about sticking up to your phone or sending snaps to each other for every breath you take. But, have a good chat where you can ask about their day and other romantic things. 

A healthy, successful relationship doesn’t mean no fights, questions, or disagreements. But, it means being expressive with your feelings and being all ears to hear your partner’s point. 

You won’t be able to physically avoid your partner. Make time for it, plan your dates, and be physically present. The memories you make and the moments you live will help to keep your long-distance relationships long-lasting and flourishing.

Furthermore, I would like to add that when you enter a long-distance relationship, be realistic with the goals and expectations you want to hold from this connection. Discuss the uncertainties and complications that tag along. 

The best thing about a long-distance relationship is that you can have your own space while still being with your partner (on the phone or chatting). It not only allows you to work on your goals, but it also motivates you to work hard for this relationship.

So, if you are either having a rough time with your long-distance relationship or planning to have one— I just have some bro tips and hacks for you to outshine in it.

Hacks for a Better Long-Distance Relationship

  • Relearn the definition: Just throw away all the knowledge and myths you have carried throughout about long-distance relationships. Everyone has a different tale and experience to narrate. Your story should be written by you and nobody else. So, believe in your love before you make others believe in it. 
  • Set Boundaries: Being not presented physically for each other doesn’t mean you have a free pass to do whatever you want. Setting boundaries is essential. Avoid things that can hurt you or your partner or things that can bring a conflict between the two of you. To fill the distance, you must be honest with your partner. Trust each other and maintain that trust for each other.
  • Appreciate loneliness: I am not trying to rub the salt on the wound, and I know you miss your boo. However, utilize this time away by spending hours with yourself, doing things you like, and working on yourself. After all, you can only love others when you truly love yourself. People in a close relationship struggle with personal space, so be glad that your relationship offers you private time and personal growth. 
  • Adore imperfectness: You can’t agree less that there may be things that you don’t like about your partner. But, admiring and accepting your relationship’s imperfectness helps solidify the chances of your long-term bond. Plus, you can always work things out by communicating about complications you don’t like. I’m certain that your partner will understand. 
  • Take help from technology: Thanks to all the amazing techs we are surrounded with. So, what if you are not physically present? Organize and plan a video call and do some fun activities together like— dancing, yoga, etc. That’s not all; you can have movie dates too, with the amazing OTT platforms that offer long-distance partners to watch together.

Conclusion

According to research, professionals found that values, honesty, and affection are stronger in a long-distance relationship than in close ones.  

Remember, communication is a vital part of any relationship. Love isn’t the only thing that can lead you to a happy-ever-after relationship that lasts an eternity. It is key in learning how to stay emotionally connected in a long-distance relationship.

You need respect, acceptance, apologies, sacrifices, and fights too.

You may argue with the fortune but remember that it’s worth it. One day you will wake up next to each other, and the moment will be worth every struggle. 

Comment
by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


More From Relationships

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.