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Relationships

How to Meet Someone without Online Dating?

Learning how to meet someone without online dating can be difficult.

Of course, people find love all the time, online or offline. Love can find you everywhere and anywhere— in the most bizarre and rare situations. People have found love at places they least expected and spent eternity together. 

While online dating apps have taken a spiral in match-making and modern relationships— there are still a thousand hopes of finding love without them. If you haven’t had much luck with these apps, perhaps you are destined to meet your forever sweetheart in the real world without any intervention from the internet; call it old-school romance. 

The truth is, online dating is not for everyone, and I understand! There’s a high chance that your soulmate may never have bought a tinder premium. 

It’s disheartening to face numerous failed dates, misjudgment, social media mirage, and immature rejection at online dating. We have all been there. Honestly, I had a premium for both tinder and bumble and was still labeled single for a long time! 

If you have enthusiastically tried every puzzle at online dating and are still down in the dumps, we have got good news for you! People can find profound love offline, and it’s the most beautiful experience. Hey, I found mine; you will do just fine. 

Perhaps, your love is waiting in that long queue at a grocery store, checking you out at the library, or fighting you off at a video game— the possibility is infinite; you just have to look around and open up!  

I’m slightly biased toward offline dating because the perks are never ending. Imagine telling your love story twenty years later and finishing it off with “that’s how I met your mother/father… yes, by farting in the queue. It was a lethal conversation starter.”

It’s got to be imaginative and hysteric! If you are confused about how to find love without online dating, here’s what you need to do to get started! 

Ask a favor from your Ace boon coon: 

Opt for the old method that we have had in our school-college days. Telling your friends or trustworthy cousins that you are looking for someone who can be of real potential in a relationship and sharing your feelings will surely help. 

When I was in college, I had a lot of lady friends, some gorgeous ladies, and I remember my friend poking me to talk to her about them.   

Presently, I know many evergreen couples still together who didn’t meet on social media. The perk of meeting someone via your friends is that they know what kind of an individual you are and your ideal type. So, they will set you up with someone of your liking— there’s a higher chance of hitting success at dating when your friends set you up!

Don’t let the terror of “No” dull your enthusiasm: 

No one gets success in the first attempt or, in fact, in the third/fourth attempt! Finding yourself a special someone is not a one-night venture— it may take days or even months to lend on a date or a potential partner. 

couple when guys consolidating her dad

There is a quote that says— “What comes easy won’t always last. And what will last, won’t always come easy.” So, it’s quite alright to have it the hard way. I mean, why go for easy when life can be challenging, complex, and fun. Easy is mundane. 

A single rejection shouldn’t extinguish your enthusiasm. No, you need to prepare yourself for a hundred (or more) rejections. It’s not because you are not loveable— you are worthy of every love that exists. In fact, it may not have anything to do with you at all. If someone rejects you, they reflect their own personal issues, not yours.

Furthermore, their perception doesn’t define you; only your perspective does. So, their opinion or decision about you is not universal— different people, different choices. Let me tell you, there will be people who would love you for who you are! So, don’t let a petty ‘no’ dull your light. 

Keep yourself open to communication.

Usually, people close themselves off in strange, public locations. The interaction is scarce, mute, and non-existent. People take comfort in their smartphones and keep their eyes away from human range to avoid eye contact. Finding someone offline is opening yourself up for random conversation, eye contact, and warm exchange. 

Physical attraction is one thing, but it would disappear if you don’t approach and communicate. So, communication and altering your socializing vibe are a must. Be warm, kind, not stern, smiling, and joyful. Listen to music, feel nature, feel the energy around you, and live in the moment, and you will attract people; your energy will pull individuals towards you. It’s cliche, but it’s true. 

I would love to meet someone who simply enjoys the present. That also much-needed communication skills. You cannot hit it off without a good set of communication skills. 

Indulge yourself in a cause: 

Are you connected with social groups like helping homeless people, old couples, country causes, or animals? Good job! If you haven’t already, you should join one— it will not only make you feel alleviated by helping others(as psychology says), but you can also come across someone who feels the same and shares the same sentimental values. 

You can meet various people-of-one-minds like yours while volunteering for a cause! The chances of getting emotionally connected to them are more accessible here.

Don’t toss out the idea of going to a grocery mart:  

I am sure your list of meeting someone hasn’t reached the grocery store yet; instead, you got stuck with the cafeterias. Well, yes! Groceries stores or supermarkets are great places where you can try your fortune, pal! 

friends together helping with groceries

I have heard the weirdest and most powerful love stories blooming amidst the aisles. In fact, I read one online where someone met the love of their life by farting— their words, not mine. 

If you meet someone by accident or, god-forbid, by deadly farts— don’t let go of your shots. Don’t hesitate or shy away, Spartan! If you find someone weirdly attractive, this is your chance, Go for it and Interact! 

Greet them with a smile and, if you could, help them with their shopping! You can also start a chat while in the queue. Who knows, the universe may have planned the craziest story for you.

Treat yourself to a trip or trek: 

Ditching everyday life and going on a vacation or a not-so-small break can work as a boon to your desires. Get yourself connected with organizations or travel agencies that initiate and organize worldwide group trips. Not only will you meet great people but you may as well find the love of your life, given the amount of time you will spend with these people. 

Of course, you can always opt for a solo trip— that’s my personal preference. It’s no surprise that new countries bloom and generate a tremendous amount of romance, especially if you are going to Europe! Meet people, share dorms, travel with strangers on the same destiny as you, go on food trips with groups, etc. 

Your partner may be hiding in a foreign language, and that’s no excuse to let go of them! The intensity of meeting someone offline or by accident is far more than meeting someone online. Both are beautiful, nonetheless. 

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The trip can surely bring your heart and mind to peace. It’s more likely that you’d be filled with adrenaline, excitement, and romance. This calm state of mind will help you look around and embrace love. Who knows, you may not find a James Bond but undoubtedly can get connected to a Tarzan! I say, spicy romance! 

Don’t sabotage your chances of finding love just because you are on a workstation. Who says you cannot love while working? I beg to differ, sir! 

People are often scared of finding love away from their home land, given the distance. However, long-distance relationships do work if you passionately love your partner. 

Discover new places and spots:  

Are you a foodie or a coffee enthusiast? You are about to hit the high spot, pal! Discovering new places of interest will also lead you to people with similar personalities— it can be a dog’s cafe, animal shelter, restaurant parade (if you are critique), police station (YES!), dungeon parties, etc.

So, change your route and ditch your mundane life. Instead, set a new voyage to discover new places, new eateries, new secret spots, new cafes, restaurants, street food corners, etc.! Going to new places and meeting new people intensifies the chance of finding the gem you want, touch wood! 

Oh, and while you are at it, go solo and not with your friends. It might turn down people who would have approached you if not for the partner beside you.

Try to do something new that fascinates you: 

So, one of my friends is a total freak for manga/anime, and for that, he joined a Japanese language learning course and Karate sessions (Kung Fu classes weren’t in our town). 

Also, in Karate class, he didn’t even surpass the yellow belt— but got the golden medal, i.e., his better half. It’s not only bars, cafes, and online dating apps that avail ‘perfect partners,’ every place is a perfect place to find romance— you simply need to accept the fact.

Take your chances and explore your interest— love may tag along! It’s as simple and as complex as that! Ask yourself, what interests you? Is it gym, pottery making, art, poetry, books, walking, revolution, protests, and get on with it? As the quote goes, “Love will find you irrespectively.”

Peter Parker’s Evil Dance: 

Remember that super-happy and fiercely confident Peter Parker, aka Spiderman— dancing, interacting and waving at people on the street? Too good! The confidence, the poise, and the interaction were too good not to adapt to your general nature. 

Personally, I would love to go out with someone cool enough to dance and swing on the street. Hell, I would find one and dance along. 

couple dancing partying out

So, when on new roads, be open to potential strangers. Don’t close the possibility of finding your soulmate just because you are on the street and away from familiarity. 

Also, beware; some people wouldn’t like your overall gimmick and may even feel offended. If you think you are making someone uncomfortable with your direct approach, apologize and step away from their space bubble. Please don’t wink or send them a flying kiss— it can make them uncomfortable. 

All in all, be friendly, offer help, and socialize with people who seem interested. Most of the time, we’d use smartphones to save ourselves from unfamiliar zones. Quit this habit and be realistically present and away from the virtual world. 

Take assistance from your hobbies: 

Following your passion or at least finding the time from your busy, hectic schedule to do your hobby is not only a great way to keep you happy but can be a blessing for you to find that extraordinary person. 

couple making sculptures together
  • If you love to dance, join a dance class.
  • If you love art, have a visit to museums or art galleries; 
  • Or, if you are an animal lover, go for some workshops, dog centers or 

This will likely broaden the chance of meeting someone with the same interest and likes as yours! You don’t need to bargain with your fancies or interests! Wow!

Dj parties are still a thing.

As someone who enjoys dancing and wilding the night away— parties can be a great way of finding a wild and energetic lover. Sway your hips, get boozy, and hit the dance floor. While some may be only looking for a one-night stand or casual fling— some people would honestly love to date you.

So, let go of the prejudiced stance and enjoy a great night because you never know! 

Look for events or some community gatherings: 

Looking for events and community gatherings is wholly different than joining some courses or following hobbies to meet someone. Going to community events or conferences will also help you reach out to a more significant number of people. 

Just find some events near you, search them on Facebook, and attend them. This will likely raise your odds of meeting someone with the same ideologies and emotional values. Nowadays, there are various matchmaking events for singles; use this in your range.

Illicit Office romance

We strictly avoid getting involved with our colleagues not to raise concerns and disturb the work ethic of the office, especially with the boss. However, love happens anywhere and everywhere. 

If you think there’s someone you like in your office, I wouldn’t want you to hold yourself back. They might be your soulmate, and it’s futile to avoid/ignore that attraction. Instead, go for it and strictly keep it off the office hours. I mean, I know that’s not possible, so be discreet about it, and your secret will be safe with us. 

couple kissing sitting by a desk

Plus, things go wild and intense when you do something that you aren’t supposed to do! You deserve a spicy, exotic, controversy-filled romance. 

“She is just a colleague; I can’t date her.” Cross that out; it’s not against the law to love someone you work with! 

Sometimes, church!

What are the odds? People do find it in churches or other religious places. I’m an atheist, but I don’t mind spending a few hours at church, and it’s peaceful and relaxing. So, I urge you to go to the church/temple once in a while, theist or not. 

Green Flags that reveal they are the ones for your first date

So now you know what to put on your to-do list! During this time, you may meet many people, some of your interests and others not-so-ideal for dating. YOu may want to approach them for a date. However, you never know if they are looking for a real romance or just a friend. Some people are naturally friendly and may not intend to have a romantic affair with you. 

Here are some green flags that tell you if the person is into you or not. 

  • Your chats don’t have full stops: Your conversations don’t seem to have an ending, and you both can get lost in discussions for hours. 
  • When you feel yourself to the fullest: To make everything go smoothly, we always tend to adjust or pretend a little. But, if their presence makes you comfortable in your skin— they are the kind of people you’d love to be with. 
couple kissing while they are in nature
  • You make time for each other: YOu both love to spend time with each other— even the silence is comfortable in their presence. 
  • Your date ends with a chaste kiss or a hug: If your first date ended with a warm hug or kiss, you could take a breath of relief. This is the sign that they are into you. 
  • They take an interest in your life: They listen to you intently and are naturally curious about you. Remember, there is a difference between hearing and listening!
  • They are drawn to you physically: They tend to be close to you, intentionally or unintentionally. 
  • There’s physical chemistry: Subtle touch tells a lot about! 
  • Eye contact: People are often shy in the presence of someone they like. However, whenever your eyes do connect, the intensity is hypnotizing. 
  • They smile and laugh carelessly when with you. 
  • They forget the world when with you: They won’t check their phones all the time and would rather pay full attention! We can’t agree more that we all have an addiction to our phones. But if that habit of checking your phone every minute didn’t ponder you or your date. This is undoubtedly a good sign that you both are into each other.

10 First date questions to ask to know more about “them.”

You cannot judge a book by its cover. Though first impressions are essential, getting to know each other takes time, and you don’t want the awkwardness to ruin your date. 

Here are some questions you can ask someone you want to date: 

  1. Is there anything you’re particularly enthusiastic about? What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
  1. Is there anything you feel allergic to? Do you smoke or drink?
  1. Do you like reading, or are you a party animal?
  1. Where do you want to go— Mountains or beaches?
  1. Are there any fun facts you have about yourself?
  1. What are the things that tensed you often?
  1. Who are the special people in your life?
  1. How do you tackle stressful hours and a furious mood?
  1. What are the things you feel proud of or think no one can do better than you?

The above are some of the questions that reveal their personality, emotions, and future stigmas. So be a keen listener to know whether you both are on the same wavelength.

The takeaway

Take the offline route if you’re tired of playing the online dating game. If you’ve had some horrible online dating app experiences and letdowns, look for your better half in real life.

Remember, this isn’t easy, but it’s worthwhile to look for! Finding someone isn’t like moving a mountain, but you might have to go the extra mile! Don’t give up hope! And I hope you find your live-in forever person. Phew! 

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by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


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