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Relationships

Why do You Get Sleepy Around Someone You Love?

Have you been feeling dizzy around your significant other—so frequently that even sitting close to them switches off your body automatically? When you lay down beside them, your eyes begin closing in less than 10 minutes, and you feel at peace. 

Maybe you’re just a sleep lover, or maybe there’s euphoric love within that is causing the relaxing, peaceful symptoms. No matter what the case, feeling sleepy around someone you love is entirely normal. 

couple sleeping together

In this article, we’ll explore some primary reasons why you feel sleepy with your significant other and discuss the importance of sleeping together. 

So, if you have questions like “why do i get sleepy around my partner,” “why am i so tired around my boyfriend,” or “why do i sleep better with my girlfriend,” we have all the answers for you! 

Why do you get sleepy around someone you love? 

Being in a romantic relationship is overwhelming. Not in a negative way, but loving someone indeed requires hard work and unconditional effort. The emotional toll of dating—happiness, pleasure, excitement, ecstasy, nervousness, sadness, and even stress—can be hefty and exhausting. 

This is why simply being in a relationship is enough reason behind you feeling sleepy around someone you love. However, there can be more to this than just exhaustion and body reset. 

Here are ten reasons why do you get sleepy around someone you love: 

1. You’re completely relaxed when around them. 

One of the most common reasons behind feeling sleepy around your significant other is that they make you feel comfortable and safe. 

A cozy homely feeling surrounds you whenever you’re with them, and your heart is at peace. In such a situation, it is natural for you to let your guard down and stop trying hard to maintain a fake personality. 

The feeling of security leads to relaxation, and there you are, dozing off like a lethargic panda. Here’s a poem I wrote that might better explain my point: 

Wish I was sleeping next to you

“Lately, you are my only lullaby. 

Your voice sings a melody that pulls me deeper into slumber. 

You talk about grocery,

And I smile at the irony. 

How can your weird-ass talk doze me off when white noise cannot?

You sure are a witch,

Granting me peace, serenity, and comfort. 

With you, sleeping isn’t a struggle. 

With you, closing my eyes isn’t as scary. 

With you, life’s breathable.”  

couple being together

2. You’re chemically bonded to your partner sleep 

Another interesting explanation behind you getting sleepy around your significant other is your chemistry bond. 

When you sleep next to someone you love, the body releases feel-good hormones like oxytocin and serotonin, making you even more sleepy. If you’re all loved up in bed—sharing kisses, cuddling, and spending intimate time—your body will release these love hormones. 

Subsequently, 

Additionally, your brain requires serotonin to create melatonin—the primary hormone that maintains your sleep-wake cycle. 

  • Oxytocin (also known as the ‘love hormone’) is a sleep-promoting hormone released when you sleep with your significant other. Sex, cuddling, kissing, and even holding hands can significantly boost the production of oxytocin. 

High oxytocin levels result in falling asleep quicker than usual and staying asleep for more prolonged durations! 

3. You exhaust yourself from physical activities. 

It is only natural to get exhausted with your romantic partner because you spend more energy than usual. You’re engaging in physical activities (we know you can’t take your hands off each other), which directly affects your sleep alarm. 

You might ask yourself, “why do I sleep better with my boyfriend,” The answer is hidden in your bedtime secrets. What you do when you’re alone in a room burns a lot of calories, resulting in cozy, sleepy vibes. 

4. You’re bored with them.

Just like you can get sleepy after steamy makeout sessions, you may also start dozing off when getting bored. I hope this is not it, but if you’re regularly spending drowsy times with your partner, you’re more prone to sleep away. 

Perhaps, getting bored doesn’t always mean your love is fading off. It may just be a slow-paced phase that almost all relationships face. While many partners begin to misunderstand this phase, you should know that it’s not necessary to be high-in-the-sky all the time. 

Love is when you’re 100% authentic to each other and acknowledge every part of life or your relationship as a sweet and salty journey. Every phase in your romantic relationship will teach you to love more, care more, and develop mutual understanding. 

Back to sleeping with someone you love—getting bored is undoubtedly a good enough reason. Maybe you’re not even bored, but if you’re not doing exciting and fun things together, you’ll naturally want to dig in the bed. 

5. You’re not getting proper sleep.

Being in a relationship takes more than just lovey-dovey texts and calls. You actually need to make time in your day and be physically present with your lover! 

And with regular romantic action comes the need to hibernate for at least 8 hours. Your body needs to rest for a minimum of 8 hours to replenish energy and prepare for the next day. 

If late-night calls and facetime are keeping you up, you will obviously restore that lost sleep at some other time. And what’s better than your partner’s cozy arms? 

The answer to your question, “why do I fall asleep so easily with my boyfriend?” lies in your sleep-wake schedule. If you’ve been surviving on 4-5 hours of sleep every day, it’s only natural to fall asleep when spending time with your partner. 

couple being sleepy together

6. You’re stressed with them.

Maintaining a romantic relationship can be stressful and tiring sometimes. When you’re putting a lot of effort into going on dates, worrying about problems, carrying out unique plans, and solving certain dating issues, adequate rest is often ripped off. 

You never really enjoy a night of sound sleep and may be stressing out more than usual. This directly affects your sleep and causes you to fall asleep while lying in bed with your partner. 

Note that this is normal, and almost every couple goes through hardships. Struggling or stressing out in a relationship does not mean your bond is going south; it only means you’re burning up more energy than usual. 

So if you’re feeling sleepy around someone you love, just sleep. Forget about the issues and stress; just dig into your partner’s arms, close your eyes, and land on a beautiful dream! 

7. Your partner’s smell and voice are soothing.

Here’s something else I want to tick off from the list of reasons—why do I get sleepy around my significant other? Your partner’s sweet smell and soothing voice may indicate your brain to shut down and doze off. 

A 2016 study states that certain scents may have a calming effect on your body and brain, prompting feelings of relaxation. Whether it’s their body odor, a sweet cologne they use daily, or the smell of their shampoo, pleasant fragrances may help you destress and feel drowsy. 

Similarly, you may feel relaxed when hearing your partner’s soothing voice. It’s not just their low-pitched voice that’s comforting; you may also feel sleepy when they are humming or sweet talking to you. 

The slow and steady rhythm of your partner’s words can be very tranquilizing and might make you want to turn off your system and take a nap! 

8. Comfy Clothing

You may also generate sleep in your eyes when your partner is wearing something sleep-inducing like yoga pants and woolen sweatshirts. The touch of comfortable clothing when cuddling with your partner can also contribute to the reason “why do I get sleepy around my partner?”

Not only couples, but this is also the case for all individuals. People naturally associate comfy clothing with leisure, sleep, and relaxation. So your partner’s warm and soft attire can easily make you feel sleepy, 

There can be numerous reasons behind feeling sleepy around someone you love, and nothing is wrong with that. After all, euphoric love has the most calming effect on your mind and body. 

In fact, snuggling up with your sleep lover could just be what you need to fetch yourself some rest and recharge your batteries for the upcoming day! 

Benefits of sleeping next to someone you love

It is a human tendency to desire a king-sized bed just for your own comfort, but that usually comes along with cold chills and loneliness. 

Given that we are sleeping away one-third of our time, it is very well known that sleep is the most critical aspect of life! It is vital to our health, survival, and overall well-being. 

To live a healthy, productive, and joyous life, you need an adequate amount (minimum of 8 hours) of quality sleep in one day. But when you decide to share your bed (and sleep time) with your partner, you may soon realize you’re getting sleep deprived. 

Your partner may snore like mountains are crashing or kick around the bed like they are Lionel Messi. Maybe they talk in their sleep (creepy) or unconsciously walk at random night hours. Perhaps they suffer from sleep disorders and have trouble getting proper rest at night. 

While one cannot deny the troubles that come with sleeping with someone you love, you also can’t overlook the positives of sharing your bed. Sleeping next to someone can entirely change your life, improve your relationship, induce better sleeping patterns and help you get quality sleep. 

Here are some amazing benefits of sleeping next to someone you love: 

1. It has an excellent effect on your health.

Besides enjoying more intimate and romantic times, sleeping together is highly beneficial for your health. 

  • Sleeping next to someone you love lowers your blood pressure and calms your body’s nerves. This is because sleeping together releases oxytocin—a love hormone that promotes sleep. 

It helps you get sleepy quicker and stay asleep for a long time! 

  • Sleeping with someone also reduces inflammation; the reason behind this is a decrease in cortisol levels. Cortisol is a stress hormone released in response to fear, stress, nervousness, and danger. 

So when you’re feeling safe and comfortable, resting in your partner’s arms, your body doesn’t release any cortisol. This directly improves your sleep and helps in falling asleep faster. 

The same is true for sleeping with a pet! 

  • Sleeping next to someone you love also plays a role in improving your immune system. This happens because sharing your bed may lead to sex more frequently, which is amazing for your health. 

Having sex regularly makes you more resistant to cold, flu, and other daily-life infections. Your body releases higher levels of certain antibodies that defend you from viruses, germs, and other intruders. 

Sleeping next to someone you love is a fantastic choice, and it will prove so by improving your overall health! 

2. It promotes a better sleep schedule. 

When you’re sleeping next to someone that has the same sleep schedule as you, it further improvises your sleep-wake cycle. 

The little time that you waste using your phone, scrolling through Tiktoks, or not feeling sleepy will transform into a healthy sleep schedule with your lover. 

Undergoing the same sleep schedule will help you maximize your active-awake time and allow you to sleep quickly at night. Having similar circadian rhythms (internal clocks) will bring closeness, understanding, and harmony to your relationship! 

3. It offers better sleep quality. 

Have you ever thought about—why do I sleep better with my boyfriend or girlfriend? 

Sleeping next to someone you love will drastically improve your sleep quality. Trust me; it is far better than going to bed alone after watching TV for hours or using your phone. 

When you keep watching television before bed, it reduces the melatonin levels in your body, making it hard to fall asleep. So after you’re done with the TV, your mind keeps you awake by overthinking random thoughts and remembering old memories. 

On the other hand, you get dizzy really quickly when lying next to your partner. When you cuddle, make love, or simply talk before sleep, your body feels relaxed and cozy, and you fall asleep faster than usual. 

The secretion of serotonin and oxytocin improves the quality of your sleep; it also enhances how well and how long you sleep! 

girl waking up in a better mood

4. It allows you more restorative sleep.

When you’re sharing your bed with your partner, you’re not only sleeping together at night but also spending other parts of your day together in bed. 

Whether folding laundry, working on your laptop, meditating, or just reading, joining hands with your partner boosts the release of several feel-good hormones. The time you and your partner spend together while awake increases the chances of more restorative sleep: 

  • In women, physical touch or sex increases estrogen levels, further improving the REM (rapid eye movement) stage. This update promotes more restorative and deeper sleep. 

The best part about this is that good sleep increases the sexual desires in women (as much as 14%). With the increase in sex, you automatically begin sleeping more. 

  • The same happens for men because various brain chemicals are released after steamy grind sessions. 

These chemicals include—prolactin (which refines your immune system and quality of life), vasopressin (decreases cortisol), norepinephrine (regulates sleep and controls stress response), and of course, oxytocin and serotonin! 

Note that it’s not only sex that does all the wonders. Something as delicate as holding hands or running your finger across your partner’s body can trigger your body to release feel-good hormones! 

5. It reduces anxiety 

If you’re an anxious person, we know it’s tough to get a sound sleep. Moreover, anxiety and insecurities keep you awake, making you suffer with restless nights and endless thoughts. 

If you want to change this, you need to start sleeping with someone you love. Sleeping together is not only great for your mental health, but it also replaces anxiety with comfort. 

Touch therapy (skin-on-skin contact) signals your brain to stop releasing cortisol (stress hormone). The lower the cortisol, the lower you feel stressed, and the better you sleep!

6. It improves your relationship.  

Come sleep with me. We won’t make love; love will make us.” — Julio Cortazar.

Couples who sleep together stay forever. The more nights you spend together, the happier your relationship will be. Sleeping next to the one you love enhances your bond and creates an enormous level of comfort and understanding between you two. 

You’ll also be communicating more, which is the utmost important thing in any connection. Sleeping together will bring you two close, not only physically but also spiritually. 

7. It slows down aging. 

Who would believe that sleeping next to someone you love can actually make you feel younger and live longer? 

When you sleep together, the chances of frequent sex increase because you’re in a more intimate atmosphere. The more you make love, the more it may help you live longer; there’s a scientific reason behind this. 

A 2016 study revealed that having sex once or twice a week helped your body form longer telomeres. A telomere is a protective cap on your DNA that determines the lifespan of your cells. 

Scientifically, longer telomeres promote slower cellular aging and higher life expectancy. This is why engaging in sexual activities will enhance your physical health and also give you extra life years as a bonus! 

8. It makes you feel safe and secure.

Sleeping next to someone you love makes you feel safe and secure. You see how kids curl up next to their parents because they are scared of dark demons and nightmares? 

The same is true for adults; we all still have a child’s heart! We might not pay attention to it, but sleeping alone comes with scary chills and loneliness, the two things that keep us awake. You may also have bad dreams when you’re sleeping alone, affecting the quality of your sleep. 

Hugging your lover during sleep reduces the chances of nightmares and minimizes your waking up at night. You’ll find yourself getting enough rest and waking up energetic when you’re sleeping with your partner! 

FAQs—Why do you get sleepy around someone you love? 

Trusting someone enough that you let go of your boundaries and barriers is intimate. It’s intimate to be comfortable enough with someone to allow them to gawk at your puffy cheeks, drooly mouth, dawning eye bags, and sleepy face. 

Couples would often be very cautious about their appearance in a new relationship. It may take months or years to reach that kind of intimacy. So, if you do fall asleep around someone you love, congratulations, you have unlocked a new milestone in your relationship. 

However, if sleeping is the only thing you and your partner accomplish whenever you are together, you might need to re-evaluate the relationship. 

Answer yourself honestly, 

  • Do you sleep with your partner to escape spending conscious hours with them? If yes, your relationship may have taken a road down the hill towards boredom. 
  • Do you have a busy schedule that doesn’t allow you much space to rest? 
  • Is sleeping together a love language for you and your partner? 
  • Is your partner alright with your sleeping behavior? 

Whatever answers you do conclude, you and your partner should be on the same page in the situation. So, communicate with them! Here are some more FAQs to help you evaluate why you get sleepy around someone you love and if it’s alright or not. 

Does sleeping with someone create a bond?

Yes, it does, and on many levels. Sleeping with someone doesn’t only create a physical bond but also allows you to develop mental, emotional, and intimate bonds with your partner. 

Have you ever experienced the bliss you receive when you hold your partner’s hand for the first time after months of angst? While it may sound K-drama mainstream, it’s true. 

Some physical gestures between couples are unexplainable yet so spiritually intimate. One such similar experience is sleeping together with someone you love. You connect bodily and bridge a heart-to-heart connection. 

Physically bond

“You touch my face; I sigh with relief. 

Spooning me, you whisper thousands of melodies into my ears. 

Our hearts beat together, and the rhythm we create sways me. 

We melt into each other… into each other’s embrace. 

You pull me closer, and I skip a beat. 

Soothingly, I cave deeper into your alchemy. 

My eyes finally drop.

Finally, my heart finds its peace.”

A physical bond in a relationship is just as necessary as maintaining an emotional bond. Sleeping together melts your bodies into one. It connects your heartbeats and synchronizes your breathing, creating a euphoric entanglement. 

Emotional bond

Physical connection amplifies emotional bonds. When you sleep with someone you love, your mind and heart relax. Your soul connects to them on a different level when subconsciousness takes over. 

gay couple sleeping together

When sleeping, our bodies go subconscious, and the mind remains far away from known reality— that’s when your souls connect together. 

Sounds hypothetical, right? 

  • Sleeping together builds and emphasizes trust between couples. 
  • It moves you ahead in a relationship where sex is not the physical intimacy you share. 

Why do I feel sleepy around my girlfriend?

As stated, a single factor cannot determine why you might feel sleepy around your girlfriend. First and foremost, your irregular sleep schedule inevitably contributes to why you may constantly feel sleepy, with or without your girlfriend. 

That irregular sleep cycle and insufficient rest may accelerate when you finally get to meet your girlfriend. Since she is your comfort place, sleep knocks at you faster than you may have witnessed anywhere else. 

  • Does her hug instantly relax you down? 
  • Is her smell intoxicating in a way that it stimulates and enhances your senses? Sometimes, someone’s smell can spur us into deeper sleep, mainly if we are used to it daily. It can be her shampoo, deodorant, body wash, or natural smell.
  • Do you share a sleep pattern with your girlfriend? It can easily become a part of your system and schedule if that’s the case. 

Evaluate your feelings for your girlfriend— 

  • Is it out of boredom? Are you bored of your life, or is that boredom specific to your girlfriend? 
  • Are you tired in general because of your busy schedule or tired of the relationship? 

If it’s your girlfriend and the relationship that’s tiring you, you might need to communicate it with your partner. 

Does sleeping on top of someone mean anything?

Not everything needs a valid meaning to exist. Some things exist without purpose, and that’s why they are beautiful. Sleeping on top of someone is one such comforting sleeping position for couples. 

A woman’s chest brings warm and soft femininity, perfect for partners who are big cuddle babies. In fact, many partners choose a woman’s chest over the most expensive pillows out there for obvious reasons. 

On the other hand, sleeping on top of your boyfriend’s chest provides similar masculine comfort. It feels safe, warm, and loving.  

How to make someone fall asleep?

Understand your partner and what induces their sleep. While massaging the scalp and hugging them is one way to do it, there are multiple other ways to make your partner fall asleep. 

  • Choose the right pillow for them: Not everyone enjoys sleeping on soft-feathery pillows. Some people can only sleep when given a sturdy pad that doesn’t cave inside whenever they try to sleep.
  • The right mattress and proper sleeping position 
  • Know if they like cuddling or need space when sleeping: Not everyone wants to cuddle when sleeping; some genuinely want space. Please understand that not wanting to cuddle when sleeping doesn’t mean your partner loves you any less. So, ask your partner about their comfortable sleeping arrangement and help them attain a better sleep schedule. 
  • Circling their back and stomach with your finger/nails: This technique is literally effective. Circling your partner’s back circulates blood and stimulates jammed muscles. It’s also the closest spot to the spinal cord and thousands of nerves, resulting in a greater relaxation rate. 

Circling your partner’s stomach has a similar effect; it might as well be a little enhanced. Our food pipe can have excessive gas accumulation that may cause continuous discomfort (mild/extreme). 

Circling your partner’s stomach automatically allows the gas to move south. It’s not embarrassing, lmao. It’s what it is! 

  • A little talk of the day: We continue to carry stress and tension all day long; it can be about our job, business, or personal issues. The constant worry may disturb or damage your partner’s sleep schedule. So, take time out for a small bed-time story/conversation every night.

Ask them about their day and slowly unburden them from all the stress your partner’s been carrying around. Talking about it will help them relax and better aid your partner. Do this when you are in bed with your partner. Gently stroke their hair and continue to listen to them. 

Bottom Line

Why do you get sleepy around someone you love? I hope the points about cleared all your doubts, and now you exactly know why your eyes begin shutting around your partner! 

Sleeping with your partner is one of the best ways to improve your relationship. Tease each other, have meaningful conversations, talk endlessly, and love eternally while you’re sleeping together. 
If you want to further improve your relationship, join the Harness Community and use our coaching program to become the best version of yourself! You’ll better understand your deep roots, feelings, and future with our program!

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by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


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