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Relationships

How to Stop Romanticizing your Ex? 10+ Realistic Steps to Forget your Ex and Move Forward in Life!

Figuring Out How to Stop Romanticizing Your Ex can be a difficult task.

The phase of getting over your ex is the most CHALLENGING one. There will be hundreds of emotional breakdowns, mental health downfall, and self-worth questioning, which can cause depression, destructive health issues, and many other problems. 

It doesn’t really matter if things have ended poorly or mutually in your relationship; you may eventually start missing them and might romanticize your ex after some time. 

woman reflecting on bench in nature

This weird feeling of missing your ex again is confusing; it can keep you stuck in overthinking many scenarios like

  • If you should call them at night and talk about why or how things ended?
  • Would it be right to cross ways with them intentionally so they notice you and something happens? 
  • Will I keep waiting for my ex to come back? 
  • Why do they not want me? 

In any case, if you recall the good memories of them, you must also be attentive to all the days you two argued, had fights, and cried all alone. 

When we are missing someone, we tend to overlook their bad qualities. We imagine all the good moments lived together, not letting our brain focus on bad factual circumstances. 

Always remember, many certain things & toxic behavior patterns have happened between you, causing a breakup. It didn’t happen for no reason, and your ex has an equal hand in it. 

What to do if I miss my ex?

The best advice I can give is not to return to your ex again. They are better in your past and let them stay there so they cannot ruin your present. 

Note that it’s better to be single than with the wrong partner. 

Be aware that you can miss someone and have sweet memories of them without wanting them back in your life. Recalling precious old memories will often lead to outbursts of certain emotions, but you should never forget the lesson. 

Everything in life happens for a reason, and God has given you a chance to find someone more deserving who can show you equal respect and love. Let’s try not to waste this chance and use the opportunity to gain something better in return.

But how do you know what things to do to get over your ex and stop romanticizing them? You don’t have to panic here; we got you! 

10+ Simple “Finish Ex” Ways to Stop Romanticizing Your Ex Love Partner! 

Whether you should romanticize your ex or not really depends on the person. Were they sweet and kind to you? Did you both have to part ways because of uncontrollable circumstances? Was there immense love within, but just the timing was terrible? 

In such a connection, you must try your best to win their heart again and begin with a fresh start. Embrace your love and do all the things you couldn’t before. 

However, if the reason why you both broke up was toxicity, it’s better to keep them in your past. Toxic people rarely get better, and there’s a higher chance they are still as bad a person as they were. 

Try to avoid this ex with these simple “finish ex” tips:  

1. Remember the bad they did to you. 

Instead of only recalling all the good stuff about your relationship, you must remember the bad too. Undoubtedly, every relationship has its ups and downs, but that doesn’t mean you overlook the bad happenings of your relationship. 

couple having a disagreement and not talking

Try to imagine all the times they, 

  • left you crying alone after an argument they started 
  • judged you for having guy friends 
  • posed unauthentic limitations and conditions over you
  • behaved as you were in their control 
  • made you feel unequal and small

These evil actions are significant and affect a major portion of anybody’s life. 

We know it’s going to be challenging even if you remember the bad, but know that nothing matters at this point. You’re in your present now, and until you don’t leave the past behind, it will always come back to haunt you. 

Let’s try to move forward in life to the bright side, where you’re successful, independent, and know your self-worth! 

2. Acknowledge why you are missing them

We miss people when we need them. We long for their presence and spend more time thinking about our lives with them than what we have now. 

It is natural and okay to miss specific individuals that made you feel incredible and lucky to be alive. But, if you’re missing a bad chapter, command your heart to handle these emotions. 

Before you allow yourself to romanticize your ex, you need to acknowledge the exact reason behind missing them. Maybe, you’re not missing your relationship but having a boyfriend. Maybe you’re not missing them particularly, but the care and love you receive when dating. 

Before making any desperate decisions:

  • Talk to yourself.
  • Give your feelings some time.
  • Understand the reality of this situation. 

This will help you conclude a decision that is good for you! 

3. Create a pro-con list on your ex.

Another way that’ll help you to stop romanticizing your ex can be a pros-cons list. Take a paper, make two columns—one for the pros and the other one for the cons. 

Now write down all the good and bad qualities you’ve seen in your ex and experienced while in that relationship. 

The pros can include how much they cared, if they were good in bed, how they comforted you when you got anxious, and how they made you feel as a person. The cons can include how they betrayed you, left you alone, made you cry, didn’t put you as their priority, and so many other things. 

By making this list, you’ll get a good sight of how to deal with your current situation. If the cons outweigh the pros, you can easily understand that your past partner didn’t deserve you. 

You’re going to get a better insight into why you need to stop romanticizing your ex. Also, it would be best if you focused more on the cons, as that may make it easier to get over your ex and find a new romantic journey. 

plus and minus sign

4. Do not differentiate your ex from your new lovers! 

I’ve seen a lot of people doing this—comparing their current partners with their ex. 

Do you know the reason behind it? 

It’s because when you are not entirely over your ex, you look for them in every new partner. Many people even stop dating because of the betrayal in their last relationship. 

I want to clarify that not everybody is the same, and you need to stop differentiating people from people. Each soul has a unique personality, which deserves to be explored. 

If you’re dating a new person and you’re missing your ex because your new date is not tall enough, fair enough, or doesn’t have the same personality, you’re looking for the wrong things in the wrong lover. 

The things that your ex offered and the way it was with them, you may never find it exactly the same. This is not something to feel bad about! 

You need not live the same love and must be open to what others have to offer. It might not be the same, but when you embrace it, you’ll see the real beauty of it. You might even be surprised to see how each lover can make you feel differently. 

5. Take opinions from your friends on how your relationship felt to them in reality. 

Sometimes, an outsider can show you very well what you cannot see by yourself. It’s good to have a friend’s point of view on how you were in the relationship and what you’ve dealt with. It will remind you of all the things you’ve suffered alone and why the relationship had to end. 

people mingling in a club

Your friends, family members, and colleagues can better show what you were like then and now. Things get pretty easy to understand when you can see them from a different angle! 

People who care about you will remind you of all the bad things that you’ve forgotten, of all the times when you were alone, and that’s important to get over your ex. 

Whenever you feel bad, talk to a friend close to your heart who understands you well and has been with you through all your bad phases. It’s better to communicate with your close ones when you feel numb, as simply speaking with them offers the most satisfactory therapy. 

Go on a walk with your friends, share your problems and feelings, and they will offer you comfort and the correct point of view for your situation! 

6. Remove your ex from all your social media! Do it now. 

This is another promising thing that you can do to keep your ex out of your sight and life. Let’s erase, mute, or block them from all your social media accounts, whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat, and even delete their number. 

If you don’t do this, you’re going to stalk them someday or other to know what’s happening in their lives. Seeing them happy without you may inhibit unnecessary negative feelings and distract you from doing better in your own life. 

If you are still connected to a toxic ex, take them off your life. Because if not, every single day when you open your phone, they’re going to remind you of some memories, leaving you in an overthinking cycle. 

It would help if you were willing to leave all this behind and move forward in your life. So let’s do it because the sooner you realize your worth and know all the great things you deserve, the better. 

7. Ask yourself why it had to end.

There is always a reason why a relationship has to end. Like if your ex cheated on you, they were too controlling, significantly toxic, or there was too much distance, family problems, and the list goes on. 

Similarly, your relationship ended, and that, too, had a reason. Recall why it was over, and make decisions keeping that in mind. 

Remember those moments when you wanted to get free from your relationship, the times when you felt worse to be their partner, how they treated you, and the main reason behind the end of your connection. 

Realize it was crucial to ending things back then, and it is still important to let the things stay as they have been. Avoid bringing your ex back into your life! 

8. Accept it’s all in your past now. 

You know some things are better in the past because bringing them back may pose several nostalgic threats to your present. 

Similarly, bringing a toxic ex will destroy you, your health, mental stability, and much more. Life has already given you a second chance to move forward, so why look back? Looking back should never be an option because there is a possibility of falling when you look back too often.

Instead, put all that behind you and learn to move forward. Find yourself again, as it’s time you become the best version of yourself and prove that you’re more deserving and capable of getting anything you want in life. 

So let’s pack all the memories because it’s time to say goodbye to your past and look up to your bright future

9. Understand that romanticizing your ex will affect your mental health! 

Undoubtedly, breakups, heartbreaks, and betrayals can affect your mental & physical health badly. You spend half of the time overthinking everything in your head and feel smaller in front of the world. 

If you’re going through such phases, your mental health is too delicate to take anything else. I understand this weird feeling of romanticizing your ex repeatedly, but ask yourself, what’s the point now? 

You can see how happy they are, having fun after practically ruining your life. On the other hand, you are here spending your precious time thinking about them. 

By doing this, you are again giving your ex a chance to break you even more mentally. Ask yourself, why should they have an opportunity now? It’s time to act mature and see what life is actually showing you. 

Mental health issues are severe and can make you feel incapable, worthless, undeserving, and even depressed. In such cases, you should talk to a close one, tell them how you feel and what’s going on in your mind, and learn to accept any kind of help and support. Feel stronger, and then take realistic actions!

10. Get into new hobbies and explore yourself.

When you finally understand your feelings and want to start working to become the better version of yourself, know that you’ve chosen the right path. 

Living this phase will be your most beautiful experience. You will find new things you like, explore the world’s beauty, learn extraordinary qualities, get into new hobbies, and have a fresh start! 

You’ve wasted enough of your time, and you don’t have to do it anymore. It’s time that you work on yourself and make yourself more perfect. It’s high time to move forward with your life. Nobody else is coming to save you but you. 

Life is so big; there are hundreds of things to learn every day, and here you’re crying over a person who is probably with some other partner. The best thing you can do to get over someone is to get busy enough that you forget their existence in your life.

11. Do not forget the lesson.

Every relationship gives you a lesson. Understand what yours was, and learn to move forward in life and never look back again. 

If you keep romanticizing your ex, you may not understand the lesson properly. Note that if your relationship was too perfect and your partner was so loving, you probably won’t be here missing them. 

Take things positively! 

It’s okay if they’re not here with you; maybe it was never meant to be. It’s good because now you don’t have to waste more of your time and you can use it wisely. 

You have extra time to spend on yourself and become your best version, who is capable of wanting and achieving anything in life. 

It’s okay to miss them now, but forever? Not a chance. It’s your life, and one day you have to move forward with it. And you have to start now before it gets too late. 

Stop making yourself sad over things you have no control over. Let’s accept the lesson and move forward with life! 

Bottom line 

We won’t say that missing your ex is wrong; it’s okay to miss them and still not want them back in your life. We are all humans; we get hurt, learn, and move on; that’s how life teaches us important lessons. 

If you notice yourself romanticizing your ex, only you can get yourself out of this situation. Nobody else will come to save you; it’s just you and time. 

Some days feel bad, some days feel good, and some show you the real meaning behind certain events. It is the natural process of life. 

Don’t be stressed about finding someone who would make you happy because you should be responsible for your happiness. Nobody else has the right to your satisfaction but you. 

So, start creating a new and positive life, be the reason for your joy and let people add extra pleasure to your journey. Let’s pack all the memories and say goodbye to your past forever because it’s time to keep your head up and look forward to your beautiful future! 

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by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


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