To the senior about to graduate from college,

When you start to embark on this season full of crazy unknowns and new milestones at every corner (a.k.a the great momentous post-grad life) understand that this next chapter may not always be easy. You're going to feel lonely. There'll be days where you'll want to cry over how ridiculously hard adulting is. You'll find yourself wracking your brain over and over again trying to figure out what you want to do with your life, with it only leaving you in more confusion than ever. The culture shock and adjustment to the real world will be a lot more difficult than you think. You might even experience a bit of an identity crisis. And that's ok.

Despite it all, please don't let your 20s go to waste. This next season of your life can be one of the best, but only if you let it be.

If that means having to go on an awkward dinner with a stranger you just met out of sheer loneliness, doing things on your own for a while, taking a break even when you don't feel like it, doing the complete opposite of what society wants you to do, or changing career paths—it will take some uncomfortable moments to experience the best of post-grad life.

Surround yourself with the right community. Be intentional with the relationships you have. Create a list of goals to keep up with. Make it a regular habit to look for and remind yourself of all the good present. Talk to others in the same season of life. Take it easy on yourself. Don't make your job your only identity. Give yourself things to look forward to (even if it's as small as a plan to order takeout from your favorite restaurant).

People will try to tell you what your life should look like after graduation, but that doesn't mean that's how it should be. Please don't take their preconceived notions of "success" to heart. It's ok to take a bit of a break after graduating, take some time off to travel, work part-time, or go back to school. The future is for you to create and just because everyone else is going down a different path than you doesn't make what you're doing any less successful.

I wish I could tell you that there is some sort of secret formula out there to prepare yourself and make the road ahead easier, but there really isn't. Experiencing all the good of this next chapter looks different for every person, and you'll learn as you go what that means for you.

You have to lean into the discomfort. Once you do, you'll start to see the beauty of what post-grad life has to offer.

I promise you, college isn't the only time where you'll experience the best years of your life. You might feel like it's the end of your best years, but it's only just the beginning.

— a recent graduate living her worst, yet best life

May was the mental health awareness month. These days we are becoming more vocal about mental health issues but still, mental health is a growing concern for us. What most people don't understand is that those who are battling internally need empathy and acceptance from the world.

How often do you reach out to your loved ones?

How often do you realize that someone is suffering silently but still ignore the fact?

We assume they would be alright with time. We leave them to their devices and maintain a distance. When making them feel loved could have healed them we maintain a distance and torture them more.

Severe mental health illnesses need long-term treatment but some issues can be sorted out by the family and friends alone if they are willing to make time for the ailing person. Mild mental issues can turn into serious ones when there is no support available from the people around you.

Often depression and anxiety patients are those who do not have anyone to lean on. People in their lives are just not available for them when they need them the most! So, they keep suffering silently. Its true therapy is sometimes inevitable for the sufferers but a sense of belonging and feeling loved can heal many aching minds.

How can you identify someone suffering internally?

Well, this is a difficult task. Most of these people might appear as if they do not need any help! But if you find someone suddenly getting demotivated or isolated from the others or you notice any unusual change in their behavior it's better to check on them. Communicate clearly instead of avoiding them. Besides, if you know someone who is suffering from a disease, or has suddenly lost a loved one, is out of a job, facing some crisis remember to be patient with them. Give them your time and warmth.

We all seek kindness from others but when it's our turn to be kind we often neglect the role! It's not humanly possible to be always right or kind or helpful all the time because we have our own struggles too. Also, often we don't realize if someone is crushing from the inside. But what we can constantly do is find a way to be more kind towards people. And take some time out of our busy lives for the people we love. These days everyone is trying to make the most out of their lives. As if spending time other than "productive work" is a waste of time!

What we forget is none of us are going to live here forever. What will you do with all your accomplishments in the end? So, why not choose to be more loving and compassionate while in your short stay on this planet? Let's not be just aware of mental health issues but be proactive in helping each other out!

I am a friend to those who seek my friendship. I don't care who you are, what you do, or what you have or don't have. I don't care about your past. I just accept who you are.

If you're my friend, I'm also a friend, until you decide that I'm not. No pretenses.

I'll always try to be nice to you, tell you the truth even if it hurts because I care for you. I know when to keep my mouth shut and to wag my tongue. Don't expect me to kiss your ass just so I'd be your friend. You don't have to kiss mine to be my friend. I'm nice. Just one caveat, I can be savage too if I need be.

I am your friend not because of what I can get from you. I offer you friendship not business. I am your friend not your subordinate.

I am your friend until you decide otherwise.

Superficial friendship is not my thing. I am not a friend when it is convenient. My friendship doesn't care if it's convenient or not. It's true. It's real. I care. It's genuine. I don't make pretenses.

If I tell you I miss you, it's because I do. That's just something that I don't say casually as an expression or something that I'd say randomly without meaning it.

I can be a true friend even if you're faking it, but I don't have any qualms letting you go when I know you're just using me. You can walk out anytime. The door is wide open. If you choose to come back and be my friend again, I'd open my door for you and you can come in.

Real friends are hard to find. Fair weather friends abound. I'm a hurricane myself with a bit of a sunshine. The ones who ride with me in my storm are so few. Most of them just want to enjoy the warmth of my sunshine. I'd like to keep the ones who can and will brave the storms with me. They are the ones who deserve a ray of my sunshine and enjoy my rainbow.

I didn't mean to fall in love with you,

But I'm so sorry I just did.

This wasn't I expected,

and it just happened so fast.

 

I don't know how I fell.

I don't know whether I'll tell you

As I might scare you away.

I just wish you knew...

 

And I wish you would catch me.

I WISH

I wish I could tell you that I miss you,
That I secretly wish it was you calling me on my phone,
That you think of me as I think of you often,
That I could see you now and hold your hand
And walk together and talk about silly stuff that would make me giggle.

But then...I also wish that
I wouldn't miss you as much,
Wouldn't think of you as much,
Or wouldn't long for you as much.

Be a giver not a taker! Haven't we all heard the phrase? But there is so much falsity in the statement. Perhaps you haven't noticed that especially if you have been conditioned from childhood to be selfless. You have been taught to keep giving and giving and giving until it starts hurting. No, it's not your ego that is hurt. For the over givers, their self-esteem will start getting maimed at one point in their lives for sure. And then you might hold bitterness in your mind towards the people you keep giving.

Giving is a great deed but you know what there is no harm in receiving! It's not at all selfish to allow yourself to receive time, attention, favors, or materialistic stuff from others. If you feel obligated to give while uncomfortable to receive you have a serious deep-rooted limiting belief there.

It feels amazing to be a giver but do you know when giving becomes a burden?

When you feel emotionally drained. 

There should be joy in giving not sadness before or after you give something to a person. Whenever you are feeling a pang in your heart remember you do not have to be the giver!

Children who have been neglected by their initial caregivers often have the tendency to over-give when they grow up. They want to be accepted by others. They seek approval from people because they are unable to approve of themselves! And this is how they become the givers in each and every relationship.

Families where children are taught too much about virtues often impress the young minds to be selfless. As adults they always want to be the right person, they want to be kind and generous. Women, in general, have the tendency to over-give in relationships.

When giving becomes a Problem - What are the Warning Signs?

• In any relationship, you are the one to initiate the giving in any form. You could be giving your time, energy, kind gestures, gifts, money, etc.
• You feel obligated to give.
• You don't feel the need to observe whether the other person is indulging you with the same energy and efforts as you are offering them.
• Deep down you are afraid that your partner or friends might leave if you stop giving.
• You do not communicate with the other person about your needs and expectations in the relationship.
• You continue giving without receiving in that ratio until you feel emotionally empty.
• Your partner (or friends) takes your efforts for granted.

How to stop the tendency of over-giving?

To stop the tendency you have to first realize in any relationship there should be a healthy exchange of giving and receiving. Of course, you don't have to measure the efforts! In any healthy relationship giving and receiving happens in an effortless manner. You give time, they make time for you. You bring them presents they also give or do something for you.

And most importantly, you don't have to always initiate things!

Stop being the person who always texts or calls or plans the date or the night out. In a balanced relationship (romantic or otherwise) you should not have to always do everything first. It's true one should not involve their ego while dealing with their loved ones but you must know your self-worth. When you are the one always taking the first steps, always giving yourself first to others you are wounding your self-esteem.

Parting words for you:

• Be a giver but also allow yourself to be a receiver.
• You don't have to give first!
• You don't have to be the giver in all situations. Allow someone else to give if you do not want to!
• Maintain a boundary. You have to keep things for yourself. It's not being selfish it's being practical. You can't give away all your money. Similarly, you can't give away all your energy to others. You can't give all your time, you can't pour all your love on others.
• Learn to give from a happy place. You can only be comfortable giving when you are giving from a full heart not when you feel insecure or needy yourself.

Toxic text messages are texts that drain you physically and mentally while affecting the overall health of your relationship.

These texts demand you to act or behave in a certain way that is unnatural and only satisfies your partner's insecurities. 

While it is healthy to help your partner with some things they are insecure about, you are not obliged to handle all their mood swings and toxic behaviors. 

• "I am at home, and you're out there partying with your friends. You are bad!" 
• "Why did you sleep last night without letting me know?" 
• "Text me back no matter where you go." 
• "I don't feel good when you choose to go out with your friends rather than me. I want you to spend every single day just with me." 
• "I won't bother you anymore."

These are a few examples of toxic text messages your partner may send you. Have you noticed such texts when talking with your partner? If yes, your relationship may be heading towards an unhealthy toxic route. 

Toxic texters require your complete and immediate attention, want to squeeze themselves into all parts of your life, and manipulate your standard texting patterns. When you fail to set boundaries with such partners, you let your relationship speed towards a toxic end, or even worse, a toxic relationship. 

When a connection turns toxic, it takes a toll on both individuals. The lovers within them suffer while partners spend more time planning, plotting, and playing mind games. 

This doesn't only give you emotional and mental stress; it spreads to all areas of your life. When surrounded by a toxic individual, you fall deep into an emotional hole and feel sad, traumatized, stressed, unworthy, incapable, and just not good enough. 

To tell if you are living a futureless relationship, here are 10 signs of toxic texting you need to watch out for. 

7 Signs your partner is sending you Toxic Text Messages! 

Toxic texting does more damage to any relationship in the long run than you can imagine, and it makes you feel less as a person or plainly unhappy. Here are 11 signs of toxic text messages you must notice before getting any serious with your Chucky cupid: 

1. They bind you with certain texting rules.

In any romantic relationship, it is natural for partners to converse via text as nobody can be available for calling or meeting at all times. It's normal to send and receive cute, loving, comforting, and knowledgeable texts on many other topics as a part of communication. 

On the other hand, in toxic relationships, texting feels more like a game where you introduce mathematics and strategies to win. You play mind games, screenshot arguments for future fights, and debate to be a winner. 

When your partner is toxic texting you, they'll try to force rules in your communication. Some such rules include, 

• Texting back immediately so they do not overthink your most minor actions 
• Regularly updating about your whereabouts 
• Never forget to text them before sleeping 
• Not be online and talking to someone else 
• And much more... 

If you find yourself trying to adhere to such rules for your partner, stop doing it. You are not responsible for their insecurities, and you deserve to live a normal uncontrolled life. 

Texting in relationships should only be about efficient communication, nothing else! 

2. Your partner intentionally leaves you on seen. 

Being busy and not being able to respond is natural, and all of us get highly occupied sometimes. But ignoring your partner's texts and calls deliberately makes your relationship unreliable and unfaithful. 

A toxic partner may avoid your texts or leave you on seen to show that they hold power in their texts. They assert that they can also ignore you in revenge for situations where you were unavailable (even when you didn't mean to). 

They may also ignore you when you don't follow their set rules and go against their desired texting pattern. This is a clear texting red flag as your partner creates unnecessary drama with radio silence.  

What to do in such situations? 

• Talk to your partner about it and make them understand that unavailability doesn't always mean you're out there burning their trust. It means that you have a life other than theirs, and it is normal to keep the relationship and regular life separate. 

• Set your texting boundaries. List the things you usually do every day and tell them why you may get unavailable at certain times. 

Still, if they continue to repeat this radio silence behavior, dump them and get your peace back. 

3. They text you constantly when you are away, blowing your phone off.

If your partner repeatedly texts you and expects you to respond right away, especially when you're busy with work, it's a texting red flag. 

While this may seem cute to many people, this is a warning alert of insecurity and manipulation. To an extent, it may even be cute when they can't resist missing you and end up spamming you with loving texts. 

But when they are doing it out of unfaithfulness and toxicity, you should give your relationship another thought. These toxic messages can leave you feeling worried, overwhelmed, and anxious.

Moreover, these can also inhibit feelings of anger and frustration regarding your relationship. Either ask them to stop as they are ruining your bond and hurting your connection's health, or get away from them. 

4. They pick irrelevant & unnecessary fights over texts.

Most conflicts, arguments, and wars in romantic relationships usually occur over texts. This is because it is easier to argue and show anger and frustration in the chatbox than in person. 

Does your partner regularly pick up fights out of nowhere, and texting them feels like playing with a ticking atom bomb? It's a major online dating red flag that your companion is a toxic texter. 

When indulged in sending toxic text messages, they might not realize there are after-effects of these arguments. You both will face real consequences in the relationship based on what scars these unnecessary conflicts leave. 

If your partner makes you feel stupid, wrong, annoying, or belittled on texts, you need to stop texting and talk about this issue. Always try to use "I feel" statements instead of a tone that accuses your partner. 

This can help assert feelings correctly and empty toxicity from your conversations! 

5. They go through your phone and check your texts with other people.

Being in a relationship with someone doesn't mean that all sectors of your life can be controlled by your partner. They do not have the right to squeeze themselves everywhere and disrupt your everyday life. 

If they check your phone and go through your conversations when you're together, you need to stop them. Set your boundaries and expect respect for your privacy. 

Both partners must always have courtesy for each other's personal lives and never try to force themselves everywhere. They must understand that a relationship is just another part of their life and not their entirety of being a human. 

6. Dropping millions of emotional texts when you're away 

The right way of conversing about things is talking face to face. When in front of each other, you better understand emotions, tone, and the real context behind certain things said. It offers a bit of ease in communication, where you can be available for your partner in a better and more comforting way. 

If there's something wrong that needs your attention, and they blow your phone up with texts, you need to stop it and direct it towards a healthier alternative. 

Talk to your partner and tell them you'll better understand what has hurt them or what feels wrong when they are talking with you sitting up front. These text messages do not convey your real feelings entirely, and it would be better to have emotional conversations when close to each other. 

Doing this may stop your relationship from falling into the toxicity hole and set a healthy way for meaningful conversations in your relationship. This will also encourage both of you to avoid hiding things and talk about them because there is more comfort and understanding! 

7. Digital Gaslighting 

In some cases, it may even be okay for your partner to go through your texts when you are just having fun looking at funny conversations or how dumbly you used to talk in the past. However, if they are trying to manipulate your phone and devices to control your life better, you need to dump them away. 

A toxic texter may delete specific contacts and pictures from your phone, reply to messages, and pretend to be you without permission. They may fake care and concern by confiscating your phone and saying you're addicted to it. 

These are just strategies of a toxic partner to have control over your life and isolate you whenever they feel like it. They want you to only talk to them, and if you're even having normal conversations with others, they'll be suspicious and imagine you as untrustworthy.  

The only way to fix this is to make them understand that you want to be treated just like you treat them. You want your privacy and personal life respected just like you respect theirs. 

Tell them if there is no trust in the foundation, we're never going too far with this relationship. Sooner or later, it will come to an end. 

These seven toxic texting signs prove that your partner may be a toxic person. Remember, you do not deserve to receive toxic text messages when in a romantic relationship. You deserve to get lovely texts that unlock thousands of butterflies in your gut and melt you wherever you are, making you miss them with all your heart! 

10 Toxic Text Messages that hint toward a Toxic Partner 

If your partner sends any of these texts, they are somewhat toxic for you: 

• "Where are you? Who are you with? Why aren't you texting me back? Tell me where you are right now. Text me back." 

This form of repeatedly texting when you're unavailable, busy, or unable to respond shows that your lover is toxic. Again, it is cute when they miss you and send many lovely messages when you are away. 

But, that is different from constantly texting to know your whereabouts when they do not trust you. 

• "You're such a dumb person. You are bad at everything." 

Toxic texters make you feel less as a person and incapable of good things. They do not support or praise you for what you do; instead, they put you down for not being perfect. 

A pure lover will have your back when you need support, go hand-in-hand with your journey, and praise you when you have finally made it. They will not belittle you or break your confidence as a toxic partner would. 

• "I won't bother you anymore." 

This is the all-time favorite text for all toxic humans around the globe. They drop this bomb and go away after they are done with spreading their toxic wings in your life and conversations. 

The real way of dealing with disagreements is by talking it out like mature people. This way, you better understand each others' emotions and make necessary efforts to fix things. 

• "I hope you're having fun without me :)" 

Wishing you a good time when you're out with your friends is different from implanting a doubt in your head "are they mad?" 

Toxic texters love to present the possibility of them being hurt when you're only having a good time with your close ones. They blind you into thinking that you're wrong to leave them alone or have fun on your own. 

In reality, it is natural to live your separate lives, which involve memories that get made without your significant other. They, too, must be able to choose quality time with their friends or family. 

• "If you love me, you'd do anything I ask for." 

Being in love is not a deal, and you are not required to prove your love by finishing up tasks your partner gives you. Being in love is when your heart genuinely cares, loves, misses, adores, and respects the other person's feelings as you would do for your own. 

Never fall into such a toxic pit, and reconstruct your way of loving according to a bad partner. Know that you do not have to be a people pleaser to be a good lover! 

• "I am not going to apologize or say sorry when I didn't do anything wrong." 

When you are dating an immature partner, they consider apologizing as being dominated or pressured into accepting their mistakes. They look at "saying sorry" as a way of belittling themselves in front of you. 

In reality, this is not true. Accepting your mistakes, apologizing for them, and making amends is part of a healthy relationship where you both prioritize your bond over immature actions.  

Saying sorry for the wrong you do goes a long way and encourages your partner to do the same when required. 

• "K," "Hmm," and "Whatever" 

One-word replies are the worst when you're trying to talk to your partner, and they leave you feeling unimportant, unheard, and disrespected. 

When your partner is replying to your texts with vague answers, they are trying to show you that they hold power in their texts; and that they can make you dance on their fingers whenever they feel like it. 

This is entirely wrong of them to do, and you deserve better than this! 

• "Good night"

Does your partner leave a "goodnight" text and disappear when you are a little late at night? 

In healthy relationships, your partner understands that you are unavailable, and there could have been a reason behind it. They wait for you to come, and in case you do not make it, they go and get a good sleep without posing any dramatic text on you. 

But toxic texters never lose a chance to prove that they are poisonous. When you rarely get late at night, they drop a good night text on you and leave you guilty for being late (even when it happened because of genuine circumstances). 

• "Hey, remember that time you…"

A natural way of going through arguments or debates in any relationship is to come to a conclusion together, accept it, and move on. 

But if your partner tries to bring up past issues to pick fights with you when they are hurt for a different reason, they are doing wrong. If they feel bad somehow, a healthy way to deal with it is by talking and helping your partner understand the problems. 

• "I hope you have a good life."

Usually, this line has the most positive effect on anybody it has been said to. But, when there is a toxic tone and sarcastic meaning behind it, it becomes one of the most toxic text messages you ever receive. 

By sending you this line, your toxic partner doesn't actually wish you a good life ahead. They want to hint that they will leave you in any minor disagreements. 

• "You're the most regretful part of my life."

Toxic texters are usually narcissists that never accept when they make mistakes. Instead, they blame you for everything they do wrong and leave you guilty. 

When in reality, it's them playing mind games, ruining the relationship, and making you regret every time you decided to be their lover. When toxic partners are done destroying your mental health, they leave with their heads high, putting all the blame on you. 

Bottom Line

Toxic text messages and talking patterns are burning balls to any cotton-like relationship. They not only put it on fire but also blow away any residue or good memories you have for them. 

Communication plays a significant role in any relationship. It is the backbone of your connection, which only strengthens when communication is done efficiently. 

However, when partners misunderstand texting as a way of disrupting each other's regular life, the relationship starts getting toxic. After all, the way you converse defines what your relationship will bring for you. 

If you are connected with someone who constantly sends toxic text messages even after you have set your boundaries and tried to make them understand healthy communication, dump them.

You deserve to be with someone who appreciates talking to you instead of someone who makes it hell. Choose your lover wisely!

There is no equivalent

No refurbished measurements

There are no realignments

Empty means having nothing inside; no elements

I wish I could hide behind the curtain of grief.

Rearrange the wilting flowers,

Repaint the colors of the pictures,

Write all the words I never actually wrote; thinking there was more time

Instead,

I am swerving through the currents of the day

Watching the sun rise,

Typing hollow words into a phone

Seeing the world through a broken prism

My hand still reaches for yours when the ground seems unsafe

And my eyes still wander to the door, thinking you will enter

But what has been the hardest thing of all,

Is I cannot rearrange time

Stand at the easel and paint your life again

And give it a different end

There

He is present in all of His

Majesty

a grand sight for all to bear witness

Admire.

 

Unwavering through wind

storm

fire

Grounded

ready to ascend.

 

A beacon

leading the lost

despondent

oppressed

to the promised land.

 

Providing shelter

solace

space

away from chaos

Danger.

 

Protecting the Holy Gifts

bestowed upon Him

by His Divine Wife above

all of Creation

the fruits of Her labor.

 

She shines Her light

as He holds Her gaze

to reveal His shadow

which He must purge

to be worthy of Her love.

 

Heart open

generously giving the best parts of His design

Soul

unabashed to feel the depth of Her affection

Surrender.

 

Through pain and suffering

Determined to build His mountain

Himself

and come home to Her

in the Heavens.

Since when did it become a punishment to be a mother?

You didn’t realize, but I  watched you go into school yesterday morning. I watched your large backpack bounce as you skipped into school. I smiled watching your innocent little body happily go into what is supposed to be a safe haven. 

My smiling slowly turned downward because images of an active shooter in your school crossed my mind. That happens ever so often when I feel happy. My mind turns to the worst when I feel content and safe.

These thoughts came to me not realizing what was going to happen later that day.

19 children were murdered in Texas while at school.

Elementary school.

Wide open doors.

You didn’t realize, but I hugged and kissed you so hard when you came home. I even served your favorite dinner, Taco Bell.

You didn’t realize, but when you fought me to clean up your room, I didn’t fight back. 

Nothing was worth getting upset over knowing there are parents coming home to messy rooms that will never get cleaned up. 

You didn’t realize but I stared at your face until you fell asleep next to me in my bed.

The gentleness of your closed eyelids and your plump lips and cheeks made my heart swell of pain and love and fear.

When I encounter something that’s written well. Something profound. Carefully crafted. Thoughtfully organized. Reads like butta’. I make the same face a lot of guys make when their favorite verse goes “off”. When they run back the song, I re-read the page. Stank face. Fire. Bars. I literally say “bars” afterward.

Really it’s the exact same thing without the music. The words stand alone and sound so good.

When someone is able to articulate a thought so specific and clear. The usage of words and arrangement of ruminations.

I hate reading aloud. But I’ll read that paragraph with my chest because I want to make sure I heard it clear. Heard it with my own ears. 

I like what you did there author; I like what you did.

Where is my highlighter. I need to be able to come back to this when I’m in the mood to be impressed. The perfect use of words organized in a way I wished I’dve thought. Make me fall in love with a word so much I google it. Don’t let me slip up and Google it. Sounds too good to be a real word. Let me check.

I’m Impressed.

It feels like that gif. Black dude OMG. It stuns you in a way. It moves you. The reason speeches are made. That feeling that compels you. It encourages you to feel, or act, or simply to think. Or reread. Or replay.

Something goes off in your brain. It’s a feeling akin to joy. It goes beyond wanting to use this for your next caption. It encourages you to ponder. When was the last time you pondered? Sat with something. Let it settle. Let it swish around in your mind and see what else it triggers. Does it say excuse me when it bumps into an existing thought or does it come barreling through. It can transform your perspective or bolster your current beliefs. 

My favorite is when it’s a perspective that makes me stop. And think. Who doesn’t enjoy a healthy challenge. Especially one that’s a contender. Fresh and spry. Keeps you on your toes.

It makes me want to try my own hand. It inspires a chain of thoughts that may not have formed on their own. Not without this new frame of reference I had not yet considered. I need more. Who’s wrote this? What other work have they done? I have questions. All I know for sure is that they’ve gained a new fan and I a new favorite. 

You started dating this lovely guy a few weeks back, but he still hasn’t told his close friends about being in a relationship with you. While you have already vented about your new boyfriend in the whole city, he didn’t even change his relationship status on social media! 

Now, this can have multiple possible reasons, and you can only know why he hides you on social media when you communicate with him about it. 

People often like to keep their romantic life personal and not showcase it on social media. Some lovers may also not reveal their relationship status because of family, relatives, and evil eyes. 

Nonetheless, it can be challenging to understand this, and you keep thinking about why he hides you on social media. How many more girlfriends is he hiding? What if he is just playing with my feelings? Or worse, he already has a family and is having an extramarital affair without you knowing about it. 

Jumping to these conclusions is DRASTIC! But of course, it gets tough not to cross these thoughts if they are feeding your insecurities.

Going through lousy past dating experiences and failed relationships, you definitely would have made a list of “red flags” you need to see before committing yourself to a relationship. 

Not disclosing your relationship status even after months of togetherness can be one of such dating red flags, but let’s break all possibilities down first! 

What to do if he hides you on social media? — A Clear Online dating Red Flag! 

Social media has made it very easy for people to learn about someone’s life even when they are not entitled to know about it. You can easily track a person’s location, where they are hanging out, who they are spending time with, and even if they are in a relationship. 

The problem with this is you never know who’s stalking your profile and who can access your private life. This is why there can be a million reasons for your boyfriend to hide you on social media. 

Two common reasons for the same are: 

• Friends and family may grow to be nosy about your relationship, which becomes tiresome to handle after one point, especially if you have just started going out and are still trying to understand if you’re into each other.

• Intermingling with each other’s friend circles is exciting, but it can quickly become awkward if things don’t work out between you and your partner. 

It is better to be aware of your partner’s thoughts on taking your romantic relationship public before assuming that he has a strict family or he’s just playing with your emotions. 

Why do you think he isn’t disclosing his changed relationship status? 

Here’s a list of possible reasons for this non-disclosure and what can you do about it:

1. Insecurities around relationships

As impressive as it is to believe that a person had no complicated past relationships, it may not always be the case. Many people fear that their current relationship might repeat the patterns of their failed relationships. 

What if he had changed his relationship status before but seen it fall apart? In such scenarios, you need to have an open discussion about why he is not sharing his relationship with the public. 

This will not only enable you to understand his thoughts and insecurities better but will also help you communicate yours. Two-way communication is essential to remove the murk from your relationship. 

Why is he insecure about sharing on social media?

Here are some reasons for the same: 

• His past relationship did not work out before he could share it with others.
• Others were quick to judge his partner, which fed him some insecurities about his romantic relationship.
• He has low self-confidence and self-esteem.
• He doesn’t believe that he deserves you.

If your partner is hiding you for these reasons, give him some time and try to make him feel loved and secure! 

2. He is not a sharing person and might not be ready to share his relationship! 

There’s a huge possibility that he doesn’t like to share his private life with others. Social media is a platform that gives public validation to a relationship, and it might not be imperative for your boyfriend to need that validation. 

There are many reasons why he doesn’t want to “share” his relationship status with others, which include: 

• He is a private person.
• He doesn’t want too many people to ask questions about his personal life 
• He isn’t active on social media and doesn’t update his life as frequently.
• Social validation is not essential for him.
• He isn’t sure about the relationship’s longevity and wants to wait.
• He is insecure about sharing the relationship with others and then answering their snoopy questions. 
• Making you visible on social media might feed his anxiousness which he is proactively avoiding.

3. He is waiting for the bond to become stronger.

As serious as it may sound, your relationship must have some direction before either of you are willing to share it with the public. 

Another reason he hides you on social media is that your friend circles can mingle up after a relationship becomes public. If your relationship is built on shaky ground, it will lead to complications with many people, which neither of you might be ready to deal with. 

You both need to understand & communicate with each other better so that people’s assumptions and sayings about your relationship don’t affect you. 

While communication is crucial, ensuring a ground of no miscommunication is even more significant. Many problems need your attention more when you are still developing your relationship! 

A few such problems could be as follows: 

• You are not communicating your emotions, along with wants and needs.
• Being too considerate of the other person and not letting them know about your opinion and feelings. 
• You are giving your insecurities a higher platform than your feelings.
• Being jealous and then confronting your partner aggressively, misleading the whole situation and creating problems.
• Not being aware of your or his boundaries when in a romantic relationship and hence crossing them improperly. 

4. He doesn’t want to be serious about your relationship yet.

Okay, so this has two sides. At first, it is possible that your partner has been criticized a lot for his previous relationships and isn’t ready for you to be exposed to the same criticism. On the other hand, it is possible that he doesn’t want you or his friends and family to assume that your relationship is serious. 

There’s a chance your partner has some commitment issues, or he is only looking for brief dating instead of a serious relationship. In such cases, you must talk to him and figure out whether it is insecurity or insincerity that makes him hide you on social media. 

How to know if your boyfriend isn’t serious about the relationship? 

Here are some of the many reasons why your boyfriend could be insincere about dating you: 

• He has mentioned how he likes not to be bound by a relationship and is just there for the experience.
• He is dismissive of his past relationships and thinks it is something you don’t need to know.
• He is not even letting you publicize your relationship status even though you want to. 
• Even when you try to be understanding & comforting, he doesn’t tell you why he is hiding you on social media and might dismiss your emotions.
• He constantly invalidates you when you share your insecurities about him hiding you on social media.

It is crucial for you and your partner to be on the same page regarding the sort of romantic relationship you have—whether a fling or a serious one. 

If he’s trying to have fun with you without making any commitments, while you’re pretty serious about it, that is your queue to detach yourself because you deserve better! 

5. He wants to appear “open” in the dating scene.

Now, this develops through negative assumptions, so hence you need to be very careful when you think this is a possibility.

While sharing who you are dating on social media is subjective, it is unfair to you if he constantly declines to be in a relationship through his stories and posts. It doesn’t only give off the impression that he is insincere about you but also that he might not mind going “out” with other people if they ask him. 

Talk to him and figure out whether he is seeking to be in an open relationship or if he’s just not interested in going public about your relationship. 

As mentioned before, sharing stuff on social media is very subjective, but it also differs in nature. Here are a few actions that prove he is not serious about your relationship! 

• He constantly engages in intimate conversations with people he might have a romantic interest in.
• He doesn’t say NO when asked out and is ready to just “try things out.”
• While being with you, he is still active on dating apps.
• He is hiding his intimate conversations with others when you just happen to know.
• He might manipulate you by asserting that you are delusional about his engagements without properly justifying himself.

If any of the above is true, confront your boyfriend about it. You don’t have to be in an open relationship when you don’t want to, and there is no harm in clarifying this with your partner. 

How do I have a conversation with my partner about him not sharing me on his social handles? 

What if he thinks I am being clingy or delusional? What if he is not proud to be my boyfriend? You may spend hours and days trying to find an answer to this but will fail because it’s not your position. 

If you want to know why your boyfriend is hiding you on social media, you will have to talk to him about it. He is the only one with an answer for this! People are complicated, and their thoughts are nearly impossible to discern when not appropriately communicated. 

Honestly, you can snoop around his social media and try to find “connections,” which will help you understand why he is hiding you on social media. But it will be so much easier for you to just sit with him once and have an open chat about why he is not sharing his relationship status on social media. 

However, if your boyfriend avoids communicating about this certain topic, a clear red flag that your partner is “hiding” something! 

What to do in such cases?

Here’s what to do if you are unable to have this conversation with your boyfriend: 

• You can be understanding yet aware 

Give him space until he is ready to open up but don’t give a lot when you think he is being shady about his past relationships, family, and other relationships in general. 

He can maintain boundaries, but it isn’t right if this behavior is prolonged and you don’t feel appreciated enough while being with him. 

• Reassurance

Set the mood, be reassuring with your words, and have this conversation. If he is still avoiding it, try these things: 

#. Tell him about your insecurities around it. 

#. Talk to him about why you are not sure how he perceives you, whether he is ashamed of you, or whether he is scared of criticism from his family and friends.

#. Whether he still has feelings for his ex and isn’t ready to display his new relationship status. 

The solution here would be to understand the root cause of both his and your insecurities. If you’re wondering how to go about this introspection, don’t worry, we got you!

How to better engage in a conversation with your boyfriend? 

Here are some tips to be a better communicator in a relationship: 

Step 1. Identify your own feelings 

Firstly, identify what is bothering you and then express how you feel about him not sharing you on social media. Ask yourself the following questions: 

• Am I just being insecure? 
• Why am I so concerned about his social media handle? 
• Why is he not changing his relationship status on apps such as Facebook? 
• Does he seem to be having a separate romantic life simultaneously with your relationship?

Step 2. Communication 

Communicate with your partner about your insecurities and how you both can work on them. If your insecurities are directly entangled with him, there is no way you can avoid having this conversation. 

Give him a heads up that you want to talk to him so that he is prepared before having this exchange. 

Step 3. Express feelings when communicating 

Express how you feel by using words that put forth your emotions instead of blaming them. Primarily, this is because even though you feel a certain way, your partner might be oblivious to changes in your emotions and feelings. 

He might need some time to understand how his actions are affecting you and how he can do better. 

Step 4. Be a good listener 

Listen to him carefully and be open with your partner when having this conversation. Try to understand his side and then work out whether he is just playing with you or genuinely cares about you. 

If he shares that he is insecure about some things, give him the time and reassurance needed. If some things are bothering him from his past, listen to him and take your time to understand how you feel about it. 

Step 5. Clarity 

Be clear about your boundaries when having this discussion. 

Tell him how you feel about certain things and need ____ for the same. (Fill in the blank yourself)

If you need commitment, clarity, or time from your relationship, tell him that. If he doesn’t want to express his commitment by changing social media status, then work out different ways together to feel safe in the relationship. 

If you feel triggered or threatened about specific actions, pinpoint them beforehand. Not being posted on his social media might trigger you if you have had bad experiences before, making it essential for you to communicate this to your partner. 

Your triggers and feelings are justified. You fully deserve to feel safe and uncomplicated when in a romantic relationship. 

This might seem like a hurdle you are not ready to cross if you are afraid of confrontation or think that your relationship will become rickety after this talk. 

It is paramount to understand that asking for clarification in a relationship isn’t wrong in either scenario. It is better to have this confrontation before dark ideas about him and your relationship, in general, take hold of you. 

Addressing your insecurities might expose you more in a relationship, but it is healthy if he gets an idea where you are coming from, and you get an idea where he is coming from. 

In conclusion

There can be many reasons why your partner is somehow “hiding” you on social media. He might not show his commitment the same way you show when in a relationship, or he might have many insecurities he’s dealing with. 

In the worst scenario, he might be playing with your feelings, and simply talking will put forth the truth. Making assumptions without having proper communication will hamper your relationship, not to mention it will affect your mental health too. 

Constant worries, feeling unappreciated, having pessimistic thoughts about your partner, etc., will all negatively affect your mental health and might take your focus off the other important stuff in your life. To avoid this, just try to have a heart-to-heart so that none of you unwarrantedly harm the other one.

But even when having this conversation with him, remember to sort through your feelings first. If you are insecure, acknowledge it before you have a conversation with him so that you validate your thoughts as well. 

Putting yourself first in a romantic relationship is frowned upon, but it is equally essential to ensure that you know about your needs and hence be with someone who can fulfill those needs while you do the same!

Ever since people started dating online, the relationship norms have entirely changed. You can now actually sit across the globe and enjoy a decent date with your lover without being in their presence. 

This drastic upliftment in the dating world has done its best for introverts and people who do not enjoy socializing. Needless to say, it has also improved the dating experience for extroverts as they can now try new, digital ways of offering love to each other. 

However, online dating comes with its pros and cons. In this era, where we have access to millions of people at our fingertips (pun intended), sometimes we may struggle to pick the right one. I think it's true to say we've all been in a situation where online dating offered nothing but pain and trouble.

With online dating, perhaps the best part is the number of options one can pick from. Will it be Mr. Cute Shy Boy or Mr. Pretty Smile? You can never tell!

At other times, the number of alternatives available can even be scary or overwhelming. While you may believe everyone knows better when it comes to picking their "right one," no one tells you how to avoid the "wrong ones." 

Who really are the wrong ones, then? 

15+ Online Dating Guys to Avoid when looking for a partner online! 

If you can't tell the difference between a bad boyfriend and a good boyfriend based on their online behavior, we're here to help! Here's a list of 15+ online dating guys you MUST avoid: 

1. Mr. Too many promises 

Don't you know who we're talking about when we say this?

A "Mr. Too many promises" is a guy who makes many promises and rarely succeeds in standing on them. When talking with such a guy, if your gut says these promises are too good to be true, trust yourself. 

Guys often tend to make sweet promises and sugarcoat their words to win your heart. They do not put much effort into realizing that their commitment affects reality; they just babble until you fall in love with them. 

So if you are aware that their promises are false, run in the opposite direction. Yes, as fast as you humanly can! 

You must know that you deserve someone who is true to his word, sticks to his promises, and is comfortable being who he genuinely is. He must understand that he shouldn't be making false promises to impress you and just be himself.  

2. Mr. Rushy

This guy is always trying to rush things, whether it is asking you out on a date or gambling with the intimacy process. 

It takes time to fully understand someone before you move on to date them. You need to share quality time together, have meaningful conversations, learn about each other's ups and downs, create cute moments, and then decide if you want to be together. 

But if your online boy is always in a rush, he's not taking the time to get to know you and is only there for fun. Sometimes, a guy might even rush things with you because he's looking for a rebound after a bad relationship. 

In cases like these, it's best to end things as soon as you feel that they're rushing the dating process. 

3. Mr. Angry Man

Some men have toxic anger issues that may not show up until a few interactions but slowly start revealing themselves as you stand together in certain circumstances. Even if romantic movies tell us otherwise, anger issues are never attractive or pleasant. 

You do not get turned on by a thundering man, and it isn't appealing or sexy to be near them either. Always try to avoid such a person, as they will only bring you chaos and heated up arguments. 

What is a sign of an evil man? 

Anger and hostility may show up as controlling behavior or heated-up unhealthy disputes. These men are offensive and demanding and deserve to stay single.

Pro Tip: Never fulfill an angry guy's demands, not even just once, because they could get used to it and expect many things from you. They won't hesitate to be rude to you and may speak angrily when they want things to be their way! 

4. Mr. Super Pessimist 

This guy is always negative, and he's constantly criticizing or complaining at all times about every little thing. Even if there's a silver lining in situations (which there is, in almost all cases), this guy can never see it. 

It would help if you always steer clear of such men as their pessimism may also affect your daily life—it can assert negative feelings in your heart and pessimistic thoughts in your brain. 

How do you observe and avoid such guys? 

You can do this by checking their social media bio and post captions, noticing their way of talking, or just the way they narrate stories about their lives. 

This guy has never moved on from his past, and it gets clear to see. You definitely do not want to be with this guy in the future. Trust us! 

5. Mr. Steals Everyone's Girl 

We don't mean this in a good way. These guys are extraordinarily charming but may possess fake personalities. They have a way with words and just know how to make you feel like you're "the one" for him. 

He'll do everything to get to know you, to make you feel confident and beautiful. But he's probably doing this for many other women simultaneously! 

The main issue with guys like these is that you may not realize how he's wasting your time until it's a little too late. While you may go ahead and make things exclusive on your end, he may not be reciprocating the same effort from his end. 

If your gut ever tells you, you're dating a player, RUN! 

6. The Ex Obsessed 

Rebound—this term sounds dreadfully familiar. Doesn't it?

When people are not over a failed relationship, they date other people to get over their exes. People mostly look for these "rebound relationships" online while trying to figure out their own feelings and emotions and sort them in their heads. 

They think dating someone online is the easiest way to get over a past relationship so that they can distract themselves with an adrenaline rush of new feelings. These people might even talk a lot about their exes or bring them up in the middle of arguments to "compare" you to them. 

Even casually mentioning their exes can do a lot, until eventually, you find yourself trying to essentially "outdo" this person that you've never even met. 

Suddenly, everything you do in your online relationship might be a competition with their ex. While a part of you may want to fix this man, you cannot, only he can do that, and the best alternative in a case like this is to move on. 

7. The Boring Guy

This guy does not even remotely understand the word "fun." While this one may be a rare find, it is very well possible. If you happen to bump into a super boring guy who never has anything interesting to say, avoid him. 

Chances are when you don't have a lot of things in common that you both enjoy, you might start to find him boring. We're here to tell you that's okay, and it's also reasonably common. 

However, it may not be the best sign for a long-term relationship if you run out of things to talk about. Online communication comes with its cons, one of them being how difficult it can get eventually. After a certain period, if the conversation doesn't flow and you need to force it, just let it go!

8. Mr. Self Obsessed 

Having utter self-confidence is one thing, but being obsessed with yourself is completely another. 

Does every conversation you have with your boyfriend end up with him talking about something concerning himself? Do you feel like you're the only one putting in the effort every time you talk to him or make plans?

If you answered yes, we've got bad news. He's not the best choice. 

When talking to him, the conversation should be a two-way street. When equal efforts are made, a relationship becomes enjoyable and exciting for both people involved. Make sure you take enough time to get to know him, and similarly, he should also listen to you as much as he likes talking to you. 

Good communication forms the base of any relationship. It is likely that if he does not listen to you now, he probably wouldn't want to in the future either. 

9. Mr. Clingy too soon

If he's constantly being "nosy" and wants to know everything early on in the relationship, it's not a good sign. If he's texting you all the time, it might mean that he doesn't have much going on in his life. 

You want to be in a relationship with someone who carries interests and passions instead of someone that would sit around on their phone all day waiting for a text alert while spamming you with messages.

We understand that this isn't always bad, and some women may prefer men who like to check up on them often. We're trying to say that it's about the kind of man you prefer when it comes to cases like these! 

10. The Mind Gamer

When your partner keeps playing mind games, especially when you've got no time or energy, it can get exhausting to be in an online relationship. If he's being petty about everyday things, only texts you every once in a while, and then leaves you hanging for weeks, move on. 

This person has no respect for your time and energy and will probably not treat you well in a relationship. They're just messing with your feelings. The mind games get really annoying as you get older, and if you already are, who's got time to waste? 

Clearly, not us. 

11. Mr. Fake it all 

Picture this—you swipe right for a good-looking guy you found on a dating app, and the both of you instantly click and start talking like there's no tomorrow. 

When the conversation ends, you go to his social media to stalk some more and get to know him a little better. The pictures on his dating app profile do not match those on his social media. You sadly find out it's not the same person you were talking to, and they are catfishing to lure girls in.

What now? 

Now, if you appreciate personality more than looks, you can choose to continue talking with him. Maybe he wanted to stand out there and find someone to talk with so that he could show he was attractive. If you did like the way you both connected, it's okay if they used a fake profile. 

However, if this person is regularly impersonating someone to draw as many girls as possible, do yourself a favor and block them. For all you know, he could be a con artist—girl, save yourself! 

A person pretending to be someone else is not being genuine with you and wants you to waste your time and effort on them! 

12. The Cheap Guy 

Dating can be costly, and we understand that not everyone can afford fancy restaurant dates every day. But it's always the effort that counts. If he goes above and beyond to make sure you know he's making an effort, he's the kind of guy you should be with. A date can even be some home-cooked soup and a binge-watch session! 

However, if this is the case every single time, he's not willing to invest in a good date, which is a bad sign. This guy would suggest "cheaper" or "inexpensive" dates every time, so he could get a quick way out if things don't work out for him. 

Dating requires one to put in the time, effort, and resources. If he's not willing to put in all of these, he's not the kind of guy you should be dating. 

13. Mr. Can't Commit Right Now

This guy is the living embodiment of "commitment issues." He's the kind of guy to make big promises and go out of his way to show you he cares. He might even get possessive or act "protective" of you in front of others while refusing to call you his girlfriend the whole time. 

It's very tough to identify (early in a relationship) if someone has commitment issues, but there will always be signs. Some of these are:

• He never talks about a future with you. 
• You don't feel emotionally attached to him, 
• He questions the relationship. 
• He might seem uninterested in the future plans you talk about that involve him. 

If he's showing any of these signs, it might mean that he's not willing to commit to you or invest emotionally. This is the kind of guy you must avoid at all costs! 

14. The Ghost 

The Ghost is the guy who bombards you with attention but runs away at the first sign of affection from you. This guy has an anxious-avoidant attachment style that is afraid of intimacy and commitment but also craves it most times. 

He might reschedule dates or video calls and even flake on you each time you make a plan. This guy would also have trust issues and emotionally lash out at people that try to get close to him. 

He may even try to "push" you away emotionally by being unnecessarily rude or mean to you. You must avoid this guy as he'll do nothing but leave you confused about his actions and about the relationship you share with him. 

15. The Material Guy

Yes, we mean Mr. Show Off. 

This guy will brag about anything and everything he owns. His bragging could range from how he owns the fanciest cars or wears the most expensive kind of suits. 

The problem with a guy like this is that he is more focused on life's material aspects than investing in a relationship emotionally. 

He may take you out on dates to the fanciest of places and buy you the most expensive gifts. But if he's not willing to invest emotionally into the relationship or give you the time and effort, you must avoid him. 

16. Mr. Horny Pants 

Sexual jokes, once in a while, can be viewed as fun flirting. However, it's a texting red flag if he's always talking about sex. This guy could be a pervert, for all you know. It might even get annoying after some time if he turns everything you say into something sexual. 

This is how you can tell if you're talking to a horny kid: 

• He actively seeks conversations that always end up in both of you talking about sex. 
• He cracks sexual jokes all the time. 
• He brings up sexual topics in every conversation very early on. 
• He struggles to understand that you may get uncomfortable with these jokes. 
• He connects all ends of your discussions to sexting. 

While sex is the purest form of love, it can quickly feel the worst when you are being forced into it. If your online boy keeps pulling you into sexual topics, he's straight on horny 24/7. It becomes a necessity to avoid such a boy! 

In Conclusion 

These are the most common online dating guys to avoid; these men will never offer anything meaningful and always be regrets in your dating journey. 

While we have listed above 16 online dating guys you must avoid, there may also be others—like the always drunk guy or the super obsessed with work guy. 

It's also possible that you may not want to avoid a few of these men because of their personality traits. If you think any of them are for you, who's to say, they aren't?

Just remember that online dating is not the most reliable way to find your soulmate, but we also don't discourage it. Dating online is very different from any other kind of dating. 

The ultimate goal is not to let it remain online forever. You will have to meet each other in person eventually, so make sure you've spent enough time getting to know your partner before you decide to take things forward. 

We hope this list helps you understand the kind of men you should avoid, so you can skip them and meet your true soulmate without wasting any time. Commitment is a big thing, and we hope you find the right pick! 

Pro tip: If you think something is off or "creepy" about the guy you're currently dating online, don't ignore that feeling.

1. Hold on to it, and look further.
2. Pay attention to your gut and what it tells you.
3. Most times, it has the right thing to say.  

Staying safe when dating online is extremely important. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone for who they indeed are. And if you think he's worth a shot, go ahead and take your chances, girl. He might just be the one for you!

Online dating for introverts. It can't be so bad can it? Well..

The dating struggle for introverts is as real as anything can get— to go out and drain their energy socializing thousands of strangers just to find a potential partner seems too demanding and exhausting. It's not a surprise that 'online dating' serves a platter of beautifully tucked flowers and a fresh breeze for us. 

To every introvert out there, "Yes, you absolutely can find the love of your life via online dating, and it does work!"

Take a guess,

• What’s better, you squeezing your way through crowded parties that are mentally scarring (literally) and probably ending up with a doodle duck dumbo for a drink?

• Or, you have the golden freedom to sit in the comfort of your home with a tea at hand and a thousand books backing you up.

Probably, the latter, right? I know, it's still scary. The mere thought of texting someone online willingly and initiating a conversation all by yourself is spine-chilling, but some things are worth the risk. Risks are fun, they add adrenaline into your system, and honestly, you deserve that kick! 

"There are no risks, only adventures; introvert or otherwise."

While it may seem intimidating, online dating has its own charm. Huddle up in your pajamas, get cozy in your blankets, and scroll through beyond the limits.

Why Online Dating May Seem Daunting To Introverts?

It's a common perception and highly misconceived one that introverts are bad at dating. The unwillingness to not communicate and socialize all the time doesn't equate to being bad at loving someone— it's a choice they make for themselves and not a forced protocol. 

Over time, the altered definition of introverted people has instilled introverts into believing that they may not be the best choice in the crowd. However, I would say introverts are enclosed mysteries— they withhold secrets and escapades. They cherish boundaries and only allow a few to touch what lies beneath. 

Constantly plagued with "how to initiate the conversation?" Or, "What to say in your profile bio?" The dilemma doesn't end there! It never does; instead, we continue to create issues after issues.

• What profile picture should I upload on my social media? 
• Will it be weird to add my "introverted hobbies" in the bio? 
• Is proper grammar still a thing? Or should I opt for a layman's language? 
• How to sound cool on online dating apps?
• Should I text first, or should I wait for them to do so? 
• How to know if they are interested?
• How to hide my weird introverted ass through conversation? 
• Is it alright to talk about anything while dating, or does it need to be strictly flirtatious? 
• What do people talk about on dates anyway? 
• Will they like me?
• Will I be able to impress them at all?
• How to make a first good impression?
• What will I do when I first meet them? 

How to cope with online dating horrors? 

The need to create and behave like a generic "know it all" and "a perfect date" will ruin your actual persona. The truth is, you don't need to pretend to be something you are not. 

"If you are an introvert, own it." Trust me, it is nerve-racking for us, too, as extroverts! Extroverts are not immune to nervousness and anxiety either. They stumble, stutter, get confused, lose depth over time, and find it hard to keep the conversation going. The least you know is that you are not alone. 

If you are nervous, so will the person you meet on the first date, somewhere deep within. Nervousness adds charm, weirdness, and mishaps in the event— something to mesmerize later. 

So, before you pull yourself into the misery of "I'm not good at it" or "not made for it”— Here's a little hello! 

• While introverts are not good at initiating conversations, they are great at keeping the conversation going once it takes a bumpy turn. 

• It isn't rocket science to select your first message— A simple “hi” would do. For me, I want to be as weird as the conversation starts and see if the person can take it. So, I throw the most bizarre questions at them. For instance, "what if Aliens do come to earth and invade— would you start an illicit romance with them?" I believe a fun person would simply play along! You should go for the fun one. 

• Perhaps, they will sense how awkward/nervous you are in the initial text. Honestly, people who don't judge would find awkward dates cute or even relish the nerve-racking similarities you both share. 

• A conversation starter doesn't need to be "perfect." It needs to be honest. You don't need to search for 1000 conversation starters before texting. I mean, it's not bad when you are new in tha game, but never overdo it and cause havoc in your brain. 

• Be yourself— There's no other rule, language, or tactic behind online dating or initiating conversations, in general. Of course, add suggestive flirting, sexuality, sensuality, and intelligence in conversation— that sort of thing sparks colorful and seductive romance. 

• So, go ahead and be as introverted in your bio as you'd like. Add your weirdness, interests, and introvert charms in your bio. 

• Don't play games. If you like them, text them. It can be as simple as 'Hi' or 'I'm not good at being an extrovert, would a 'hi' do?

1. Download the app and create your profile. 

"Why be someone else, when you can very well be your own self?"

Choose the profile picture that you love the most:

If you'd sulk on choosing the perfect profile that everyone would fall in love with, you will never meet an end, and the mere thought will exhaust you down. 

The truth is, not everybody would like your profile, but it's also true that not everybody has to like it. So, instead, choose a profile picture that you appreciate the most and are comfortable in. 

I highly suggest choosing a picture of yourself rather than your cat/dog/books, etc. Your potential partners would very much like to know what you look like— physical attraction plays a significant role in the whole concept of dating, and in fact— it starts 80% of connections. 

If you don't have a good photo— you can always click one for yourself. I personally love photos with retro aesthetics, film appearance, and poses that show off what you are wearing. Fashion is something I always stand by! 

Profile Biography

"Paint your story."

The catch is that you don't actually have to write an essay in your profile bio— the more the mystery, the more the fun! It leaves one to wonder what an enigma you are and what lies beneath. So, be subtle, but be yourself. 

"The truth is, words, or even essays cannot summarize us— we are complex creatures and cannot be defined by simple words." However, what you can do is— define what drives you, inspires you, makes you happy, and loads of stutters like that. 

You can choose it to be fun, direct, sarcastic, simple, a quote, pick up lines— it can be anything, literally. I'm more likely to swipe someone up with a bio that says, "I'll steal your dogs; sue me." Or, "Bite me, Brittany! No literally, bite me— I'm into that kink." 

Quirky Introvert online dating bios

• "I'm an introvert— I may not dance with you at parties; but my gaze will linger on you all night long— my eyes will dance with you. What can I say, I'm awkwardly smoldering and poetic."

• "Can't offer you booze at loud parties, but, books on a rainy day? Yes, definitely, yes!"

• "I must warn you, I'll be awkward initially— Give me some time, I'm sensitive."

• "Talking about Philosophy, psychology, and poetry. What can I say, I'm an intelligent human."

• "I'd love to cook for our home dates, but the question is, would you do the dishes at the end?" If so, I love you! 

• "Chandler says, 'I'm not great at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?' Honestly, Touche."

• "Sometimes, I fret being a nerd than I remember, I'm more intelligent than all you peasants."

• "I'm not a talker. I'll probably try to win you over with my broad smile and evil gaze. That smile is flawless, baby. It may look creepy, but hey, if you squint— you will find the charm behind." 

• "No, I'm not good at small talk. Let's talk about 'How to start a cult.' I'm good at that shit."

• "Offering you awkward silence, smiles, little skinship, loads of books, and introversion. I'm a giving person."

Quirky, brainy, stupid— everything sells as long as it best defines you. 

Surf and see what tempts you.

Sometimes, we fail to get it all together despite the endless directory. No photo of yours appeals to you, and no description may interest you enough. 

At times like these, chant— “Fuck it all” or “It is what it is” and ship the sail.

On the brighter side, look at what others tell about themselves in their bio and see what appeals to you. Is it grammar, sarcasm, unconventional description, or generic information? Depending upon what you like— create something similar. 

As for photos, I know it can get tricky for introverts to pose for pictures. If you are uncomfortable with others clicking it for you— click for yourself. 

Choose the location, set the timer, and let it roll. Props help us a great deal— have a mug/book/clutch/hat in your hands to get comfortable. 

I often get uncomfortable when others photograph me. So, I prefer the solitude of my room and plan a solo shoot just for fun. This fun photo shoot can frankly offer you some excellent clicks. 

The second thing to remember while clicking photos is not to judge them for hours. When you look at it long enough, you will start to despise it. So, don't ponder a lot. If you like it— upload it instantly. 

2. Don't stop hunting

Don't stop at a single text or a single person. NO, text and communicate with everyone who grabs your attention. That's how dating apps work. Things may or may not work out— the first person may not be the love of your life, and that's normal. 

So, go ahead and meet new people, see who's personality interests you the most. 

Communicate enthusiastically

If you don't like someone, politely reject them. However, if you are attracted to an individual— show your interest and vocalize it. They may be dying to hear it from you to make a move. Don't play mind games that will confuse someone who may genuinely like you! Be direct about your feelings; hiding them won't bring you any good! 

I always preach it to people “speak, tell, listen, communicate” because it's necessary. Nobody would know if you don't tell them. So, be honest— If they like you, they would love to meet you.

Keep your options open.

"They don't have to be introverts." People often try to find someone similar to their own personality and will completely disregard people with different personality traits. 

As an introvert, you'd try to find an introvert as well. While it's not wrong, it stops you from finding a good person— it constricts your radar. For all you know, your soulmate might be an extrovert with the craziest and loudest life. Believe in the theory— opposites do attract!

"They don't have to be your split copy." Relationships with independent and indifferent partners survive beautifully through acceptance, understanding, and exploration! 

Don't hold back if you think, 'this is the person I'd like to meet.' Ask them out! 

3. Initiate conversation

Initiating a brand new conversation will make your introvert sweat inside out, to an extent where you'd love to throw your phone in the corner and choose to remain single forever. 

I'd urge you to simply start— what's there to lose? On the brighter side, there are limitless options for you to text! You may not believe this, but people on 'online dating' apps are there to meet new people, and they will be more than willing to reply to you. 

Again, it can be a simple 'hi' or something along the line— of "Wow, you smile brightly in that picture." Complimenting is a language of love— it can brighten someone's day and bring a smile to their face. So, why stop? 

Once the ice breaks and conversation hits a success— you are set to building a connection. Introverts are good at keeping the conversation alive! 

I have been there myself; it's quite literally a beautiful pause. Nights come by, but those conversations continue to brighten your days— There's mischief, witty interaction, teasing, flirting, laughing, smiling, and goofing around. 

The subtle dopamine surge every time you receive a message from your connection is wrecking. Of course, in a good way. 

There are butterflies and smiles lingering all day long. Please note that not every person you connect with will give you butterflies— some would seem too bland or repulsive for your personality, and that's fine.

That's why we have online dating apps— to see if we really like this individual before meeting them in person. 

Don't get stuck

Now, as beautiful as this pause is, it can lock you down in the same cycle of texting and texting back. You must not forget the objective of talking over online dating apps is to meet your interest in-person and build a connection. It's necessary to set a date enthusiastically if you want to continue this new flourishing situationship. 

Please don't wait for them to make a move; take the rein. 

If you think it's time, go for it. It's simple— 

• I'd love to meet you; let's get coffee.
• Meet me at the bookstore, 
• Let's have dinner, 
• Let's go to the beach, 
• Let's go to the play zone or whatever interests you and your date. 

If they say yes:

Decide what you’d like on your first date, if not a boring dinner— try something unconventional. It doesn't always have to be coffee. 

If they say no:

Please respect their decision and truthfulness, but don't be disheartened. There will be several rejections; it's normal. Trust me, we all face turndowns, introverts or not. 

Continue exploring

If they say no, move on to finding someone else— someone who'd love to date you. Don't just go on a single date with a single person. Instead, meet as many people who interest you and are willing to know you. 

Don't keep them hanging.

If you are not interested in someone, be clear and very direct. Reject them and don't waste their time. 

Don't judge

We are readily judging and readily scared of being judged. Judging wouldn't allow you to reach out to the person in depth. Introverts are prone to judging people, especially if the person is an extrovert. So, stop yourself. Be open and understanding. 

4. Follow healthy communication

• Don't overread the situation.  

The hyperventilation is quite honest. Waiting for a single reply back will have you throwing your phone away in the air and rechecking it every second. Late responses will worsen the situation even more. Don't wait and continue your life as it is. 

They will reply as soon as they have the time to— there's no reason to think otherwise. Their late replies aren't an indication of their 'lack of interest,’ they simply might be busy! So, allow them the time to come back to you. 

Remind yourself that there's nothing wrong with sending a second or third text, and you don't sound clingy when you text first.

• Show Interest in their life, listen and share

If you are interested in that person, make sure they are aware. Show interest in knowing them, talk about things that matter to you, and talk about things that matter to them. 

Communication cannot go a single route— it cannot only be speaking or only listening; it should be a mix of both. They shouldn't be the only person to initiate conversation. 

You should talk as much as you'd like and listen carefully to what they have to say in return— Not as a gesture but as an honest curiosity. 

5. Go on the date

Add some drum rolls to your already nerve-wracking situation. You want to go because you genuinely like this person, but you also don't want to go outside because you are an introvert. 

As an introvert, you'd have countless thoughts of canceling that very date or worse— ghosting your date without any messages ahead.

Resist the urge and step out of that comfort zone. Decide a less crowded and airy venue— perhaps a beach or a less popular/underrated restaurant to calm your nerves. 

Embrace your introverted personality

Remind yourself that being an introvert is not a negative trait. It doesn't make you bad at dating or at being fun!

Don't self-sabotage your personality— you never know how much your current date will enjoy with you! They might be waiting for someone just like you, for all we know. Also, remember, the definition of fun is not always thrashing yourself into parties. Fun also comes with traveling, hiking, playing games, reading books, and being mischievous in your own silent world. 

I live with an introvert, and he makes my life 100% more vibrant, fun, and lively! 

Introverts are often misunderstood— considered timid, less confident, and awkward. Their personality, however, is an entirely different truth. Introversion is a personality type where,

• Individuals prefer deep communication with their significant human/pets rather than small talk with random strangers. 

• They believe in analyzing the situation before concluding an impulsive decision.

• They embrace solitude and enjoy spending time with themselves—shoutout to self-love. 

• They enjoy books, coffee, and the comfort of their duvet. 

• They enjoy brainstorming and are very creative with their interests. 

• They source their journey within them and not from the outside world. 

• Introverts equally enjoy dancing, watching people dance, singing, traveling, running, and screaming. 

• Their vivid imagination will chill and excite you at the same time. 

• Like any other human, introverts are beautiful, complex, and a great company! 

So, don't sabotage your own personality. Instead, embrace it. Open to your date, and if they like you— they would love you after knowing the real you! 

Don't hyperventilate about your dress, makeup, and the first date. 

• Throwing clothes out of the closet to have the perfect dress and then disgusting over it? CHECK!

• Constantly practicing the lines you have decided to say to your date and beating yourself miserably over it? CHECK! 

• Rechecking for their cancellation? CHECK!

• Practicing how to look less intimidating? CHECK!

Trust me, extroverts do it, too. In fact, I think they do it more than you'd ever know! So, breath— you look beautiful in that hairdo, dress, and makeup! Your date would love to have you as an acquaintance.

• Wear something that you are comfortable with and something that makes you feel beautiful. Uncomfortable clothes will distract you from the communication and throw you into a pit of anxiety. Be comfortable in your skin! 

• Wear light or heavy makeup— whatever makes you feel pretty. There's no rule for that, just your own comfort. 

To calm your nerves— take time off the mobile phone and stop checking your date's text every now and then. To avoid overthinking, go out in a park or a quaint location and feel nature around you. 

When it's time, chant— ‘fuck it all’ and 'whatever happens, happens.’

6. What to do on dates

There's not a single generic or universal formula for it— different people, different ideas. I believe that being true to yourself and being your authentic self sails the boat— authenticity attracts people closer. 

• Smile
• Compliment
• Listen
• Try to make eye contact but don't forget the art behind averting the gaze. 
• Be flirtatious. 
• Be open
• Don't hesitate to ask and speak.
• Raise genuine questions and curiosity. 
• Breathe. 
• Walk together.
• Be passionate about what you speak and don’t make them feel dull. 
• Be enthusiastic. 
• Make them feel special if you find the connection to be honest. 

7. A BIGGER question— the second date

You are probably stuffing your face into a pillow and screaming at yourself for every misstep, awkward stutter, and hourless banter. You'd also probably judge yourself for talking too much or too little. 

Mistakes are good, and so is chaos. If you caused a mess during your date— I would date you! I love chaos. Similarly, some people find messy and awkward situations endearing and cute. To me, as long as you are authentic, you are perfect! 

However, our overthinking may make us believe that we are awful; believe me, the truth is far from what you are currently perceiving! Your date might have actually liked spending time with you, for all we know! 

Are you waiting for them to text you for a second date? The unavailability of their text will make you paranoid. It literally will— 

• you will check the chat box constantly, 
• throw your phone, 
• consider yourself to be a lousy dating person, 
• You may as well believe that the date didn't go as well as you wished for it to go. 
• The lack of text will make you think they don't like you back or that you are not good enough. 

We always forget that our date might be going through the same set of emotions. They might be waiting for us to text back; to validate the second date. Our insecurities blur common sense and make us lose touch with reality. We are ready to sabotage because it feeds our insecurities. 

Even if they are the most outgoing people you know— they go through the same set of fears; they are not immune to it either. 

If you liked the date— be the bigger person and ask them out for the second date! 

As said, not every date is going to be a success. If they reject you, respect their decision but don't devalue yourself. Their opinion doesn't decide your value; nobody decides your value but yourself. So, be worthy in your own eyes, and the world will adjust. 

8. A failed date doesn't mean it's the end.

It's the only start! Not every date will succeed, and it is a good thing. You don't want to end up with someone who isn't the right choice for you! 

Their rejection doesn't define you either. It's nothing to do with you and everything to do with themselves: different people, different opinions.

Trust me; you are not alone. People date several times (probably a hundred or more) before they stumble on the perfect one. If your date didn't work out— it's probably preparing you for something bigger and better. 

Learn from your dates

Failed dates are a great way to learn 'how to date' and what things you can change for the better. It can help you improve your dating qualities as well. So, take rejection as a positive redirect. 

Don't stress too much about the mess you made

It's alright if you embarrass yourself and your date throughout the night— you can always learn and get better. So, don't stress about it! Laugh it out! We are flawed, ready to make mistakes— that's what makes us human. So, don't beat yourself up over it. Learn and move on— that's how life works! 

Go down the fun Road.

If your first, fifth, or 10th date didn't work out, get ready for the next one. It takes time, and time ages like wine. So, be patient. While you are at it,

• Constantly update your profile— change photos and add mischief.
• Through time, you will gain confidence and boldness about online dating. 
• Text and meet— may as well find great friends to be with. It's a by-product, and we aren't complaining. 

Wrapping it up

Dating and relationships are beautiful phases of life— the raw emotions you go through are precious and different. You will get butterflies but you may also get your heart broken— but it never ends there. It’s a beautiful cycle of laughter and tears— one that I would never want anyone to skip and share. 

So be open when you love, let there be dark rainy days, bright sunday mornings, and even darker nights— dating is beautiful with or without seasons, it’s poetic. Go for online dating if you detest crowds and upfront socialization; it’s worth the catch!

Learning how to meet someone without online dating can be difficult.

Of course, people find love all the time, online or offline. Love can find you everywhere and anywhere— in the most bizarre and rare situations. People have found love at places they least expected and spent eternity together. 

While online dating apps have taken a spiral in match-making and modern relationships— there are still a thousand hopes of finding love without them. If you haven’t had much luck with these apps, perhaps you are destined to meet your forever sweetheart in the real world without any intervention from the internet; call it old-school romance. 

The truth is, online dating is not for everyone, and I understand! There’s a high chance that your soulmate may never have bought a tinder premium. 

It’s disheartening to face numerous failed dates, misjudgment, social media mirage, and immature rejection at online dating. We have all been there. Honestly, I had a premium for both tinder and bumble and was still labeled single for a long time! 

If you have enthusiastically tried every puzzle at online dating and are still down in the dumps, we have got good news for you! People can find profound love offline, and it’s the most beautiful experience. Hey, I found mine; you will do just fine. 

Perhaps, your love is waiting in that long queue at a grocery store, checking you out at the library, or fighting you off at a video game— the possibility is infinite; you just have to look around and open up!  

I’m slightly biased toward offline dating because the perks are never ending. Imagine telling your love story twenty years later and finishing it off with “that’s how I met your mother/father… yes, by farting in the queue. It was a lethal conversation starter.”

It’s got to be imaginative and hysteric! If you are confused about how to find love without online dating, here’s what you need to do to get started! 

Ask a favor from your Ace boon coon: 

Opt for the old method that we have had in our school-college days. Telling your friends or trustworthy cousins that you are looking for someone who can be of real potential in a relationship and sharing your feelings will surely help. 

When I was in college, I had a lot of lady friends, some gorgeous ladies, and I remember my friend poking me to talk to her about them.   

Presently, I know many evergreen couples still together who didn't meet on social media. The perk of meeting someone via your friends is that they know what kind of an individual you are and your ideal type. So, they will set you up with someone of your liking— there's a higher chance of hitting success at dating when your friends set you up!

Don't let the terror of "No" dull your enthusiasm: 

No one gets success in the first attempt or, in fact, in the third/fourth attempt! Finding yourself a special someone is not a one-night venture— it may take days or even months to lend on a date or a potential partner. 

There is a quote that says— "What comes easy won't always last. And what will last, won't always come easy." So, it's quite alright to have it the hard way. I mean, why go for easy when life can be challenging, complex, and fun. Easy is mundane. 

A single rejection shouldn't extinguish your enthusiasm. No, you need to prepare yourself for a hundred (or more) rejections. It's not because you are not loveable— you are worthy of every love that exists. In fact, it may not have anything to do with you at all. If someone rejects you, they reflect their own personal issues, not yours.

Furthermore, their perception doesn't define you; only your perspective does. So, their opinion or decision about you is not universal— different people, different choices. Let me tell you, there will be people who would love you for who you are! So, don't let a petty 'no' dull your light. 

Keep yourself open to communication.

Usually, people close themselves off in strange, public locations. The interaction is scarce, mute, and non-existent. People take comfort in their smartphones and keep their eyes away from human range to avoid eye contact. Finding someone offline is opening yourself up for random conversation, eye contact, and warm exchange. 

Physical attraction is one thing, but it would disappear if you don't approach and communicate. So, communication and altering your socializing vibe are a must. Be warm, kind, not stern, smiling, and joyful. Listen to music, feel nature, feel the energy around you, and live in the moment, and you will attract people; your energy will pull individuals towards you. It's cliche, but it's true. 

I would love to meet someone who simply enjoys the present. That also much-needed communication skills. You cannot hit it off without a good set of communication skills. 

Indulge yourself in a cause: 

Are you connected with social groups like helping homeless people, old couples, country causes, or animals? Good job! If you haven't already, you should join one— it will not only make you feel alleviated by helping others(as psychology says), but you can also come across someone who feels the same and shares the same sentimental values. 

You can meet various people-of-one-minds like yours while volunteering for a cause! The chances of getting emotionally connected to them are more accessible here.

Don't toss out the idea of going to a grocery mart:  

I am sure your list of meeting someone hasn't reached the grocery store yet; instead, you got stuck with the cafeterias. Well, yes! Groceries stores or supermarkets are great places where you can try your fortune, pal! 

I have heard the weirdest and most powerful love stories blooming amidst the aisles. In fact, I read one online where someone met the love of their life by farting— their words, not mine. 

If you meet someone by accident or, god-forbid, by deadly farts— don't let go of your shots. Don't hesitate or shy away, Spartan! If you find someone weirdly attractive, this is your chance, Go for it and Interact! 

Greet them with a smile and, if you could, help them with their shopping! You can also start a chat while in the queue. Who knows, the universe may have planned the craziest story for you.

Treat yourself to a trip or trek: 

Ditching everyday life and going on a vacation or a not-so-small break can work as a boon to your desires. Get yourself connected with organizations or travel agencies that initiate and organize worldwide group trips. Not only will you meet great people but you may as well find the love of your life, given the amount of time you will spend with these people. 

Of course, you can always opt for a solo trip— that's my personal preference. It's no surprise that new countries bloom and generate a tremendous amount of romance, especially if you are going to Europe! Meet people, share dorms, travel with strangers on the same destiny as you, go on food trips with groups, etc. 

Your partner may be hiding in a foreign language, and that's no excuse to let go of them! The intensity of meeting someone offline or by accident is far more than meeting someone online. Both are beautiful, nonetheless. 

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The trip can surely bring your heart and mind to peace. It's more likely that you'd be filled with adrenaline, excitement, and romance. This calm state of mind will help you look around and embrace love. Who knows, you may not find a James Bond but undoubtedly can get connected to a Tarzan! I say, spicy romance! 

Don't sabotage your chances of finding love just because you are on a workstation. Who says you cannot love while working? I beg to differ, sir! 

People are often scared of finding love away from their home land, given the distance. However, long-distance relationships do work if you passionately love your partner. 

Discover new places and spots:  

Are you a foodie or a coffee enthusiast? You are about to hit the high spot, pal! Discovering new places of interest will also lead you to people with similar personalities— it can be a dog's cafe, animal shelter, restaurant parade (if you are critique), police station (YES!), dungeon parties, etc.

So, change your route and ditch your mundane life. Instead, set a new voyage to discover new places, new eateries, new secret spots, new cafes, restaurants, street food corners, etc.! Going to new places and meeting new people intensifies the chance of finding the gem you want, touch wood! 

Oh, and while you are at it, go solo and not with your friends. It might turn down people who would have approached you if not for the partner beside you.

Try to do something new that fascinates you: 

So, one of my friends is a total freak for manga/anime, and for that, he joined a Japanese language learning course and Karate sessions (Kung Fu classes weren't in our town). 

Also, in Karate class, he didn't even surpass the yellow belt— but got the golden medal, i.e., his better half. It's not only bars, cafes, and online dating apps that avail 'perfect partners,' every place is a perfect place to find romance— you simply need to accept the fact.

Take your chances and explore your interest— love may tag along! It's as simple and as complex as that! Ask yourself, what interests you? Is it gym, pottery making, art, poetry, books, walking, revolution, protests, and get on with it? As the quote goes, "Love will find you irrespectively."

Peter Parker's Evil Dance: 

Remember that super-happy and fiercely confident Peter Parker, aka Spiderman— dancing, interacting and waving at people on the street? Too good! The confidence, the poise, and the interaction were too good not to adapt to your general nature. 

Personally, I would love to go out with someone cool enough to dance and swing on the street. Hell, I would find one and dance along. 

So, when on new roads, be open to potential strangers. Don't close the possibility of finding your soulmate just because you are on the street and away from familiarity. 

Also, beware; some people wouldn't like your overall gimmick and may even feel offended. If you think you are making someone uncomfortable with your direct approach, apologize and step away from their space bubble. Please don't wink or send them a flying kiss— it can make them uncomfortable. 

All in all, be friendly, offer help, and socialize with people who seem interested. Most of the time, we'd use smartphones to save ourselves from unfamiliar zones. Quit this habit and be realistically present and away from the virtual world. 

Take assistance from your hobbies: 

Following your passion or at least finding the time from your busy, hectic schedule to do your hobby is not only a great way to keep you happy but can be a blessing for you to find that extraordinary person. 

• If you love to dance, join a dance class.
• If you love art, have a visit to museums or art galleries; 
• Or, if you are an animal lover, go for some workshops, dog centers or 

This will likely broaden the chance of meeting someone with the same interest and likes as yours! You don't need to bargain with your fancies or interests! Wow!

Dj parties are still a thing.

As someone who enjoys dancing and wilding the night away— parties can be a great way of finding a wild and energetic lover. Sway your hips, get boozy, and hit the dance floor. While some may be only looking for a one-night stand or casual fling— some people would honestly love to date you.

So, let go of the prejudiced stance and enjoy a great night because you never know! 

Look for events or some community gatherings: 

Looking for events and community gatherings is wholly different than joining some courses or following hobbies to meet someone. Going to community events or conferences will also help you reach out to a more significant number of people. 

Just find some events near you, search them on Facebook, and attend them. This will likely raise your odds of meeting someone with the same ideologies and emotional values. Nowadays, there are various matchmaking events for singles; use this in your range.

Illicit Office romance

We strictly avoid getting involved with our colleagues not to raise concerns and disturb the work ethic of the office, especially with the boss. However, love happens anywhere and everywhere. 

If you think there's someone you like in your office, I wouldn't want you to hold yourself back. They might be your soulmate, and it's futile to avoid/ignore that attraction. Instead, go for it and strictly keep it off the office hours. I mean, I know that's not possible, so be discreet about it, and your secret will be safe with us. 

Plus, things go wild and intense when you do something that you aren't supposed to do! You deserve a spicy, exotic, controversy-filled romance. 

"She is just a colleague; I can't date her." Cross that out; it's not against the law to love someone you work with! 

Sometimes, church!

What are the odds? People do find it in churches or other religious places. I'm an atheist, but I don't mind spending a few hours at church, and it's peaceful and relaxing. So, I urge you to go to the church/temple once in a while, theist or not. 

Green Flags that reveal they are the ones for your first date

So now you know what to put on your to-do list! During this time, you may meet many people, some of your interests and others not-so-ideal for dating. YOu may want to approach them for a date. However, you never know if they are looking for a real romance or just a friend. Some people are naturally friendly and may not intend to have a romantic affair with you. 

Here are some green flags that tell you if the person is into you or not. 

• Your chats don't have full stops: Your conversations don't seem to have an ending, and you both can get lost in discussions for hours. 

• When you feel yourself to the fullest: To make everything go smoothly, we always tend to adjust or pretend a little. But, if their presence makes you comfortable in your skin— they are the kind of people you'd love to be with. 

• You make time for each other: YOu both love to spend time with each other— even the silence is comfortable in their presence. 

• Your date ends with a chaste kiss or a hug: If your first date ended with a warm hug or kiss, you could take a breath of relief. This is the sign that they are into you. 
• They take an interest in your life: They listen to you intently and are naturally curious about you. Remember, there is a difference between hearing and listening!

• They are drawn to you physically: They tend to be close to you, intentionally or unintentionally. 

• There's physical chemistry: Subtle touch tells a lot about! 
• Eye contact: People are often shy in the presence of someone they like. However, whenever your eyes do connect, the intensity is hypnotizing. 

• They smile and laugh carelessly when with you. 

• They forget the world when with you: They won't check their phones all the time and would rather pay full attention! We can't agree more that we all have an addiction to our phones. But if that habit of checking your phone every minute didn't ponder you or your date. This is undoubtedly a good sign that you both are into each other.

10 First date questions to ask to know more about "them."

You cannot judge a book by its cover. Though first impressions are essential, getting to know each other takes time, and you don't want the awkwardness to ruin your date. 

Here are some questions you can ask someone you want to date: 

1. Is there anything you're particularly enthusiastic about? What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?

2. Is there anything you feel allergic to? Do you smoke or drink?

3. Do you like reading, or are you a party animal?

4. Where do you want to go— Mountains or beaches?

5. Are there any fun facts you have about yourself?

6. What are the things that tensed you often?

7. Who are the special people in your life?

8. How do you tackle stressful hours and a furious mood?

9. What are the things you feel proud of or think no one can do better than you?

The above are some of the questions that reveal their personality, emotions, and future stigmas. So be a keen listener to know whether you both are on the same wavelength.

The takeaway

Take the offline route if you're tired of playing the online dating game. If you've had some horrible online dating app experiences and letdowns, look for your better half in real life.

Remember, this isn't easy, but it's worthwhile to look for! Finding someone isn't like moving a mountain, but you might have to go the extra mile! Don't give up hope! And I hope you find your live-in forever person. Phew! 

Waiting for their text and smiling like a fool is a nice feeling, but is it really enough when that’s the most you can get out of your partner? 

A relationship is a connection between two people based on the grounds of love, mutual respect and commitment. It’s a connection that you can cling to, when all the other chapters of your life feel regular or empty. 

Having a partner or being in a relationship is like an add-on to your own life, where the only purpose is loving & being loved. So when you start dating someone, you are doing it to add romantic feelings and joy to your daily regular life. 

This means a partner is in your life to keep you happy, and you also got the same job! 

But, what if they start bare minimum-ing you?

Bare minimum-ing your lover is offering them only the minimum of your time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions. It’s sharing the least part of yourself with someone, just to keep them connected. 

If your partner is only doing the bare minimum in the relationship with you, it may be helpful to step back, think about the situation, and set new boundaries for yourself. 

There need not be any debate around this. If you’re on this ride together and expect your relationship to last in the long run, you need to set your boundaries and accept that you deserve more than just the bare minimum.

What is the bare minimum? 

Bare minimum is the least a partner can do for you in a relationship. This is what you can count as the bare minimum expected from your lover: 

• Respect
• Love
• Efforts 

However, this list doesn’t just end here. If your partner cares about you, there's much more effort you can expect from them, without even having to ask. 

What is the point of a relationship if your significant other cannot even meet you halfway? Relationships should be easy, not draining or one-sided. Respect yourself enough to deserve more and not just the minimum. 

You shouldn’t be left to just scrape through the leftovers they give you. When you put in your 100%, it is okay to expect your partner to do the same and make things better! 

Now that you are reading this, let's help you identify the signs that either you or your partner are doing the bare minimum in the relationship.

Signs your partner is doing only the bare minimum 

Sometimes your partner does something nice that is technically required of them, but you end up finding it extraordinary. This is because they may be doing the least for you, and you just love it when they put even the smallest effort! 

Here are some signs of bare minimum efforts: 

1. Sharing love

Being loved by your partner shouldn’t feel like an occasional feeling. It isn’t a birthday gift or a feeling for a special day. Being loved is a part of your romantic relationship. 

Love is not something that should be earned, especially with your best friend. It is a human right to love and to be loved! 

So, when your partner shows you only small bits and pieces of affection, kindness or respect, it is them doing the bare minimum. 

2. Commitment 

You must have heard someone expressing how they are so thankful that their partner doesn’t cheat on them and is committed to them. Would you really be amazed and heart-touched if your partner isn’t cheating on you? 

If you have such low expectations from your relationship, it is important that you re-evaluate what your needs are and what you deserve. This is because loyalty is the most basic unsaid rule in any connection, that should be coming from within without compulsion. 

You need not wish for them to stay loyal, it’s the bare minimum that needs to be done when they are dating you. 

3. Equality

When you date someone and plan to stay with them, of course, you would like to feel respected and be treated equally. But isn’t being treated equally a human right for everyone?  

If your partner treats you equally, it is not something to praise. We are conditioned to think that we should settle for the very least when your emotional feelings are involved. Instead, you must understand this is the bare minimum in any relationship. 

Love is not about who has a better seat, or who wins a particular argument. Love is when you both put equal efforts to make something work together! 

4. They support your interests. 

Human beings like to connect through the things that they do, which is why support is a necessity in all relationships, romantic or not. It is sad when you love someone, and they aren’t excited for you or your interests in life. 

Passions and goals are the core foundation of your personality. If you don’t have the space to express these goals with your partner, it can feel suffocating. 

Supporting your interests is something that they are supposed to do as it shows that they care and respect your passion or goals in life, which is a basic requirement. 

5. Accountability 

Whenever conflicts arise in a relationship, it is usually a partner’s natural reaction to get defensive and try to save their own hind. 

If your partner is being fair during conflicts and is later taking accountability for the things they said and did at the time of conflict, it is self-awareness. This is something that is not to be celebrated or lauded, but is to be held as a bare minimum within your relationship.

Having a partner that does not take accountability during times of conflict can make one feel misunderstood and unheard within their relationship and its space.

Now that we have recognised what it looks like to do or receive the bare minimum, let’s move on! 

Why do we accept the bare minimum? 

"We accept the love we think we deserve."

In a world where basic kindness and human decency is rare, most of us will choose to put on a pedestal the most ordinary acts of kindness—particularly in romantic relationships. 

This is especially true for those used to: 

• Abuse
• Abandonment
• Public ridicule
• Excessive cruelty 
• Low self-esteem 
• Being called annoying and worthless
• Not having received the love and attention in past relationships/childhood 

Having gone through this, any form of kindness is seen as a sovereign treatment. We end up being grateful for what little is being given to us, not daring to ask for any more. 

Hence, do not continue to accept less than what you deserve, or else the bare minimum will keep finding you.

How should a relationship be more than just the bare minimum?

A fulfilling and healthy relationship may differ from couple to couple. Nonetheless, the following are some traits your romantic partner can possess to show their care for you is beyond expectations: 

Respecting your boundaries 

Being around your romantic partner should be a space where you feel safe, understood, and accepted. Your partner must consider the limitations you’ve set when spending time with you. 

Being aware of your boundaries is a bare minimum—something that should be a given. But, when a partner shows that they are willing to put in the extra work to form a deeper understanding, that’s what you deserve.  When they try to learn what events may trigger certain emotions in you, it shows that they want to do all they can to make sure you feel safe and comfortable. 

Stepping into your partner’s shoes

Building on the previous point, empathy is an admirable quality in a romantic partner. However, do not make the mistake of assuming sympathy as empathy. 

Sympathy is when you understand your partner’s situation from your own perspective, and show concern towards it. People may hold sympathy for you across different situations. They may seem sorry for you or express concern, but that is where it ends. 

Empathy, on the other hand, requires one to go the extra mile. It is when you put yourself in their shoes to better understand what your lover is going through. When you try to look at circumstances from their perspective, you have a better meter to gauge with them and help them when they need support.

Doing things you love 

A person taking up hobbies or trying to engage in activities that bring their significant other joy and fulfillment shows that they love them to the extent where they would take up things to connect to their partner’s interests.

For example, if your partner is into reading books, giving their favorite books a read offers you two a chance to share thoughts and opinions. Similarly, consuming media together allows for discussions that can give one insight into their partner’s qualities and interests. Them doing things you love is a sign they want to know everything that makes you, you.

Connecting with the people in your life 

When your partner makes an effort to get to know the important people in your life, they are going beyond surface-level pleasantries. 

Getting to know your partner’s friends and family makes you realize more about their quirks and the experiences and interactions which bring them joy. There is a saying that goes, “you are who you surround yourself with.” Keeping this in mind, speaking to your partner’s near and dear ones facilitates a deeper connection between the two of you.

Going above and beyond.

You cannot expect your relationship to run on a 50-50 system. Both partners need to put in more effort than just how much their partner is putting in. 

This involves taking time out of your schedule to do what your partner loves, fun dates, cooking them their favorite meal when you know they’ve had a bad day, or even surprising them with a gift of something they’ve been looking forward to for a long time. 

When partners in a relationship go above and beyond, it is a sign that your relationship is not merely running on the ethos of the bare minimum but your relationship standards.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A standout indication that you are in a healthy relationship is not having to question whether your relationship is a healthy one. 

It is important to not just have but also maintain that healthy relationship. Staying in a relationship requires effort and love. Nevertheless, the following are what a healthy relationship comprises of–in most cases:

• Knowing each other’s needs.

Knowing your partner’s needs ensures that they receive what they require to feel loved and satisfied within a relationship. 

With time, the constant hunt of fulfilling each other’s needs builds your natural ability to understand each other without having to express all the time. That is one of the paramount signs of a healthy relationship!

• Not being afraid of conflict.

Nobody likes conflict. It is not enjoyable to have disagreements with anybody, let alone your romantic partner. 

However, when conflicts arise in a healthy relationship, both partners take it easy, knowing that mild conflicts are not going to tear their relationship apart. 

With this also comes the knowledge that both partners will listen to each other and make sure that the other one is heard. That is how conflicts are managed healthily and do not affect a relationship.

• Not expecting reciprocity.

Healthy relationships are a constant game of equal give and take with the people involved. But you should never keep counts of favors or efforts within you. You doing something for your partner should not make you expect things in return. This should be done purely out of love and care. 

There is no resentfulness when there is no expectation of reciprocity. The give and take equals out over time. This does not mean that there should be no give and take within one’s relationship; it just means that one can rest easy when another does something for them.

• Partners allow each other room for growth.

A healthy relationship is one where partners allow each other room for growth. It does not stop you from going your separate way; instead, it pushes you to reach your own goals. 

• The ability to adjust and compromise.

All relationships require minimal compromises. In healthy relationships, one can adjust and make compromises to keep the relationship intact while also doing things that benefit the relationship. 

Compromises do not have to be big. For example, even the small act of not keeping flowers in your home because your partner is allergic to pollen is a tiny compromise. 

• Patience

When a relationship progresses, it might become harder to deal with a partner’s smaller idiosyncrasies and foibles. That is, it can get harder to remain patient, especially when a situation demands it. 

There may be discoveries of more differences within partners, but when a partner can put their irritability aside to make room for their partner’s eccentricities, a healthy relationship thrives. 

How to remind yourself not to settle for the bare minimum? 

High standards are protection from unhappiness. There's nothing wrong with wanting better for yourself, expecting more, and not settling for the bare minimum. When you know your worth, there is nothing to negotiate. Your relationship standards are set and no one can change your mind.

Whenever anyone tells you that your standards are too high, ask yourself: 

"Does lowering my relationship standards serve their agenda or mine?"

At the end of the day, 

Know what you deserve.

Honor it.

Stand your ground.

Bare minimums will never satisfy your soul. So, don't let the bare minimum be the reason to stay with someone, as it is keeping you away from better things. Instead, it's a solid reason to step back. 

If someone values you, they make efforts that feel amazing. It feels like you stand at an important place in their life, where you and your existence matters. 

Whereas in the other case, you're confused all the time. They may do things when you ask for them, but it doesn't make the best for you. Your existence is already something temporary in their mind. 

We know acknowledging and processing this truth might be hurtful. But that's how you know it's time to separate your ways because you owe yourself much more than that. You can't disrespect yourself like this. It's not worth it!

You crave efforts that do not only make your heart flutter, give you butterflies, or make you feel adored, but also which make you feel special, composed, calm and safe.

Four types of love you need:

Physical love—touch, closeness, and presence. 

Mental love—understanding, thought-provoking, and safe.

Emotional love—feeling seen, connected, and wanted. 

Spiritual love—chemistry, energy, and meaningfulness.

Go where this is fostered and grown, and leave where you don’t find this in a person. You deserve to be flooded with love, not searching for dried-up wells. Don't ignore the red flag. Always remember your relationship standards.

Crave that energy where you can feel both physical and spiritual highs. It feels like heaven when you find such a person. Until then, don't lower your standard. You deserve so much more!

"Feeling like the one you love is starting to love you less is probably the worst feeling in the world."

When someone is really into you, they make you feel special, consistently show their interest, and never leave you hanging on confusing signs. They do everything in and out of their way, to make you feel like you deserve the world. 

Sadly, that’s not the case for all relationships. In fact, there are many lovers out there trying to maintain a one sided-relationship. 

Signs you are an option for your partner

Sometimes, when you are madly in love, you refuse to accept that you may not be as important to your partner as they are to you. Even when things turn out extreme, you try to ignore their irrelevant behavior and think of ways to compensate for their actions. 

If you cannot recognize where you stand in a relationship, what value you hold in your partner's life, and how often they make you happy —my friend, it's time to reevaluate your self worth. 

Hoping to get value in your partner’s life in the future and waiting for them in the false illusion that they will love you back with the same intensity as you, will lead you nowhere. Moreover, it is very ruinous to your mental health. 

In such a situation, it’s not easy to jump to conclusions. Are they really into you, or are you just a last-minute option to them?

Here are signs that prove you’re just an extra option for your partner. Please read them carefully, they will help you make things crystal clear: 

1. They give you a feeling of being overburdened 

When your partner is not ready to cross boundaries for your happiness, they always come up with excuses and do not show signs that they care about you.  

This is a clear red flag for you to stop romanticizing your future with them.

If they intentionally leave your texts and calls unanswered and give you reasons to be busy, every day becomes an indication that you are a burden to them.

2. Your partner does not involve you much 

If your partner doesn't like to show up with you at their business parties and doesn't involve you in their friends' get-togethers—you are not a priority to them. It also means that they take you for granted and don’t appreciate your presence. 

When a person prioritizes their love, they like to show their partner off with their spouses, and take them everywhere from birthday bashes to big weddings. 

If your partner doesn't count you in most outings, maybe they have lost their interest or are embarrassed by you. 

3. Your partner behaves in a suspicious way 

If your partner keeps secrets from you, chances are they are probably trying to hide things from you. Always remember that  concealing is a sign of detachment.

By keeping things away from you, they are giving themselves less and less away. They don't share things transparently in the relationship because they don't want you to know everything about them. 

A person doesn't involve an unimportant being in life, and it's a well-served fact. This may be a clear sign you are not as important to them as you think. 

4. Treat you disrespectfully in front of their friends.

When someone loves you, they don't have to say it, and you can quickly feel it by how they treat you. If your partner mistreats you, makes you feel inferior in front of their friends, and acts as the dominating one in a relationship, they don't respect you enough. 

Respect is one of the main pillars that strongly hold a relationship. If your partner has stopped respecting you, it’s a sign they don’t find you as important as they did when you started dating.  

5. You are the only one to appreciate things in a relationship.

From morning texts to planning dates, you alone take the initiative in every single thing in your relationship.

Is your partner least concerned about the relationship and doesn't seem interested in planning exciting things—candlelight dates, road trips, shopping? Do they show zero interest in planning outings that you both loved in the past? 

In such a case, you are choosing to exploit yourself by being with a downhearted person. It clearly shows that you are the only one trying to keep the love within you alive. 

6. You catch them lying more frequently 

Your partner constantly lies to you, even in minor circumstances. Chances are they might be untruthful to you on some serious stuff, which may hurt you later. 

Trust and transparency are base pillars for any relationship. You are an option for them when they are least concerned about your sentiments, and if they continuously break those pillars without caring about your feelings. 

7. They don't show interest in your hobbies.

Does your partner show interest in your daily activities? Do they like to be involved with whatever you’re doing? 

If your partner never asks you about your day or doesn't show up at your important events, it says a lot about your worth in their life. 

Another way to cross-check your value is by noticing their behavior when you share deep things about your life with them. Closely see how they react, is your problem concerning them, or are they just doing a formality of listening to you? This is enough to alarm you about the roots of your relationship. 

8. Your partner does not prioritize quality time

A lover always finds a way to make love if they are really into you. They will plan surprise dates to make you smile, and be on time to prove their affection. Even if they are busy with work, they will never forget to send bouquets with confessions about how much they love you. 

So if your partner doesn't seem to perform anything, this is a sign of lack of interest, and they might not want to invest in you—you may not be the central person in their life. 

9. Your partner compares you

The basic fundamental of a relationship is to accept the person while adoring their flaws. So, if your partner compares you with others and gives you inferior complexities, don't change yourself for them. Instead, change the partner. 

Relationships are for bringing happiness and peace in your life. If your partner makes you feel unhappy and bad about yourself, then this is not the right place for you to stay any longer.

10. They repeat a cycle of toxic behavior 

How a person treats you in their high temperament shows a lot about how much they are afraid to lose you. If your partner loses their patience, often gets angry, and yells at you—this is a sign you are just an easy option to them. 

Moreover, when you get hurt by their actions, they may calm you down with loving words and promises just to repeat the same behavior again. This toxic cycle will keep on continuing until you put a stop to their easy access to you. 

11. You are their alternative.

If your partner cancels plans with you at the last moment only to hangout with their friends or other people, they prefer to spend time with you only when they have nowhere to go. This clearly shows you are just a last-minute arrangement to them! 

They don't involve you in their top-rank routine, and you are at the last on their to-do list. If they don't apologize for last-minute bailing at you, you hardly matter to them. 

12. Only comes to you for physical needs.

Do they avoid eye contact with you on regular days, but when they are home alone, they come up with cheesy lines and start to make you feel cheerful? Be aware! This is an alarm of their selfish conduct.

If they only show love when they want to have sex, maybe you are nothing more than a late-night summon to them. This is a red flag in any relationship! 

How can you deal with being an option in a relationship? 

If you notice aforementioned behaviors in your partner, you must split from them. It is okay to make mistakes while choosing a partner, but the essential point is to mend those mistakes on time and move on with life. Identify these mistakes and accept the change for yourself.

What's holding you to stay in a horrible relationship? Always remember, healthy love exists. 

Here is some advice to make your decision easier, and help you get out of that toxic relationship.

End the relationship. 

My best advice is not to tolerate any undefined behavior for the sake of love, because toxic people never unlearn disrespecting behavior. 

It is healthy to maintain distance from such people even though you have fallen in love with them; loving alone can't make your life happier. You can't force them into making you their priority. Instead, take control in your own hands and make yourself the prime concern of your life.

This is the best way to deal with feeling like an option in a relationship.

How to deal with a relationship that makes you feel like an option

Learn to speak out for yourself.

Raising your voice & speaking for yourself can be an uphill struggle for you if you are used to obeying/listening to your partner. However, in this case, you need to speak for yourself and raise your concern; there’s no other way around. 

Sharing your thoughts will make your partner understand what you are going through and will also let them know that you are not up for their mind games.

When someone treats you like an option, instead of hiding the pain, try to have an open conversation about how you feel and what bothers you. 

We can solve most of the issues via mindful communication. You must prioritize your needs and learn to speak out for yourself— it will also help boost self-esteem and increase your worth.

Never compensate with your ethics and values for anyone.

People start to play victim cards when they fail to use you. Don't be a give-away option for anyone— a romantic relationship should reciprocate your love. If they are not ready to give; they shouldn’t receive anything either. 

We degrade our morals and start to take responsibility for their actions— later, and they will prove us guilty for their behavior. 

I used to do it too, and I degraded my value to make others comfortable, and later I found the person was using me for easy access. 

People don't understand silent push, always be high maintenance — never allow them to negotiate with your authenticity. 

Be your own baby.

Learn to be happy with yourself, and take yourself out on a date. If needed, take space from everyone and plan a solo trip for yourself.

Never underestimate the value of solitude; no one can make you happier than you. Oftentimes, we are forced to believe that we need others to fulfill our life and heart— however, all that you ever need is yourself. 

You are not incomplete without a partner; nobody can complete you but yourself. So, the best person we can love is ourselves. 

You never know how far solitude and self-love can take you. 

Meet new people and be open up to new opportunities.

Ask yourself, are you constantly thinking about your partner and how they mistreat you intentionally/unintentionally? If your partner occupies your mind day and night and doesn’t add any meaning or happiness to your life; think again!  

It's time you look beyond and demand more from life rather than sitting and waiting for them to treat you better. 

When you learn to leave them behind and open yourself to new individuals— you will learn just how many people are dying to love you unconditionally.

Always remember, people will treat you the way you treat yourself. So, love yourself fully and prioritize yourself.

Stop holding yourself back.

You must be courageous enough not to turn back; you don’t deserve someone who treats you like an option; you deserve the world. Don’t ever forget that! So, holding yourself back for someone who doesn’t give you their whole world. 

We often hold ourselves back so as to not hurt our partner’s feelings. But what about your feelings? If they don’t care; you shouldn’t either. 

Don't take things personally from a selfish partner. 

Selfish people would often make you feel inferior to make themselves feel superior. To boost their own low-confidence; they will inflict their insecurities on you to feel better about themselves. 

Such individuals aren’t actually passing judgments on you, but on themselves. They will laugh at you and point out your flaws because they are not ready to accept their own flaws. If your partner follows a similar pattern, let them go! 

They are insecure in their skin and will try to make you feel the same. Don’t let their opinion override you— their criticism isn’t a fact, remember that! 

Be more careful if your partner makes you believe that your needs are not more important or you are not good enough— never let them control your essence.

These people have their own emotional clutter— one they cannot deal with. YOu shouldn’t deal with it either. 

Count on your values.

The best way to bounce back is to rediscover the essence you left behind for a relationship. Now, It's time for you to feel the absolute best of being a faithful companion to yourself:

• Emotional side
• Bold side
• Entertainment side 
• Hardworking side
• Smart side
• Loving side

List your qualities and speak them in front of a mirror. You will feel cheerful and confident. You don’t need to waste your time on a person who doesn't see your worth, instead, spend that time working on yourself. 

Make yourself feel desirable, unlearn the habit of helplessness and be bold enough to take control of your thoughts and feelings. 

Have faith in a new beginning.

"Remember something has to end for better things to begin."

People often believe they don’t stand a second chance at love, and thus, will continue to live in the same toxic relationship. Trust me when I say this, there are infinite chances for you to find love again! 

Some emotional concerns are 

• "How can I live without the love of my life"
• "We are meant forever, I cannot lose hope in this relationship” 
• "We must make it work until the end, don't put this baggage on yourself.

Take these doubts off your list and understand the severity of your current relationship. Is it alright to go through so much or is it worth it? If it’s not worth it, you know the answer! If the other person is not investing in you, how long will you make this relationship work alone?

Sticking around someone just for the future you planned together can make you lose your best time in life.

She’s awake at night, turning thoughts on mind,

Scrolling back in time through emotions’ spine,

Questioning herself at the manners’ shelf,

Blinking eyes of quest with the greatest zest,

Trying to revive meanings of her drive,

While the hope grew dark, torturing her spark.

 

Stars are pouring charm in desire’s arm,

Singing hymns of love rising from above,

Melting hearts despite of his leaving write.

Still, she tunes again in his waves of pain,

Bounding to his path, let alone in wrath

Unknown to unfurl in her longing twirl.

 

Hidden roots unfold through her broken world,

Calling a return of a mystic yearn,

Clapping hands of past, soberly and fast,

Night is yanking pain out of life’s refrain.

Rendering the sore, thoughts of evermore

Craves the beams of peace through her crying cease.

 

It might be a curse out of past’s remorse,

Levelling the pain in a stormy rain,

Letting her to fall deep to the love’s core

So, she can embrace tightly his hurt’s pace,

Lightening his way to a brighter day

Through her prayers’ spell out of blessings’ shell.

 

She’s awake at night, questioning her sight,

Wanting to let go, following the flow

To the silence’s shore, smiling more and more,

But the shade of luck gets emotions stuck

In her head, behind of her wistful mind.

He is too apart, yet still in her heart.

There was a river in my dreams

Carrying the stories of globe's heart

With sadness, sorrows in its streams

Echoing memories apart.

Yet joyful waves were kissing lands

With great compassion brought from skies

Since earth and blue were holding hands,

Shaping their trust, so bright, so wise.

There was a forest full of green

Beaming its sagas to the world

With all the burdens they have seen

Through rusty days, becoming odd.

Yet sunny rays, glowing the space,

Were blooming hopes through flowers smiles,

Enriching memories with grace

While holding hands in my dreams’ tales.

There was a city full of life

Depicting kindness in my thoughts,

Transcending Eden in its drive,

Bonding the magic in love’s pots.

Their reality conveyed the spark

Of remembrances in blessed psalms,

Easing their pain, lighting their dark

While holding tightly their soft palms.