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Relationships

Online Dating Guys to Avoid—16 Types of Men to Stay Away from when Online Dating!

Ever since people started dating online, the relationship norms have entirely changed. You can now actually sit across the globe and enjoy a decent date with your lover without being in their presence. 

girl FaceTiming her date online dating

This drastic upliftment in the dating world has done its best for introverts and people who do not enjoy socializing. Needless to say, it has also improved the dating experience for extroverts as they can now try new, digital ways of offering love to each other. 

However, online dating comes with its pros and cons. In this era, where we have access to millions of people at our fingertips (pun intended), sometimes we may struggle to pick the right one. I think it’s true to say we’ve all been in a situation where online dating offered nothing but pain and trouble.

With online dating, perhaps the best part is the number of options one can pick from. Will it be Mr. Cute Shy Boy or Mr. Pretty Smile? You can never tell!

At other times, the number of alternatives available can even be scary or overwhelming. While you may believe everyone knows better when it comes to picking their “right one,” no one tells you how to avoid the “wrong ones.” 

Who really are the wrong ones, then? 

15+ Online Dating Guys to Avoid when looking for a partner online! 

If you can’t tell the difference between a bad boyfriend and a good boyfriend based on their online behavior, we’re here to help! Here’s a list of 15+ online dating guys you MUST avoid: 

1. Mr. Too many promises 

Don’t you know who we’re talking about when we say this?

A “Mr. Too many promises” is a guy who makes many promises and rarely succeeds in standing on them. When talking with such a guy, if your gut says these promises are too good to be true, trust yourself. 

Guys often tend to make sweet promises and sugarcoat their words to win your heart. They do not put much effort into realizing that their commitment affects reality; they just babble until you fall in love with them. 

So if you are aware that their promises are false, run in the opposite direction. Yes, as fast as you humanly can! 

You must know that you deserve someone who is true to his word, sticks to his promises, and is comfortable being who he genuinely is. He must understand that he shouldn’t be making false promises to impress you and just be himself.  

2. Mr. Rushy

This guy is always trying to rush things, whether it is asking you out on a date or gambling with the intimacy process. 

It takes time to fully understand someone before you move on to date them. You need to share quality time together, have meaningful conversations, learn about each other’s ups and downs, create cute moments, and then decide if you want to be together. 

But if your online boy is always in a rush, he’s not taking the time to get to know you and is only there for fun. Sometimes, a guy might even rush things with you because he’s looking for a rebound after a bad relationship. 

guy who is in a rush

In cases like these, it’s best to end things as soon as you feel that they’re rushing the dating process. 

3. Mr. Angry Man

Some men have toxic anger issues that may not show up until a few interactions but slowly start revealing themselves as you stand together in certain circumstances. Even if romantic movies tell us otherwise, anger issues are never attractive or pleasant. 

You do not get turned on by a thundering man, and it isn’t appealing or sexy to be near them either. Always try to avoid such a person, as they will only bring you chaos and heated up arguments. 

What is a sign of an evil man? 

Anger and hostility may show up as controlling behavior or heated-up unhealthy disputes. These men are offensive and demanding and deserve to stay single.

Pro Tip: Never fulfill an angry guy’s demands, not even just once, because they could get used to it and expect many things from you. They won’t hesitate to be rude to you and may speak angrily when they want things to be their way! 

4. Mr. Super Pessimist 

This guy is always negative, and he’s constantly criticizing or complaining at all times about every little thing. Even if there’s a silver lining in situations (which there is, in almost all cases), this guy can never see it. 

It would help if you always steer clear of such men as their pessimism may also affect your daily life—it can assert negative feelings in your heart and pessimistic thoughts in your brain. 

How do you observe and avoid such guys? 

You can do this by checking their social media bio and post captions, noticing their way of talking, or just the way they narrate stories about their lives. 

This guy has never moved on from his past, and it gets clear to see. You definitely do not want to be with this guy in the future. Trust us! 

5. Mr. Steals Everyone’s Girl 

We don’t mean this in a good way. These guys are extraordinarily charming but may possess fake personalities. They have a way with words and just know how to make you feel like you’re “the one” for him. 

He’ll do everything to get to know you, to make you feel confident and beautiful. But he’s probably doing this for many other women simultaneously! 

The main issue with guys like these is that you may not realize how he’s wasting your time until it’s a little too late. While you may go ahead and make things exclusive on your end, he may not be reciprocating the same effort from his end. 

If your gut ever tells you, you’re dating a player, RUN! 

6. The Ex Obsessed 

Rebound—this term sounds dreadfully familiar. Doesn’t it?

When people are not over a failed relationship, they date other people to get over their exes. People mostly look for these “rebound relationships” online while trying to figure out their own feelings and emotions and sort them in their heads. 

They think dating someone online is the easiest way to get over a past relationship so that they can distract themselves with an adrenaline rush of new feelings. These people might even talk a lot about their exes or bring them up in the middle of arguments to “compare” you to them. 

confused guy looking at his phone

Even casually mentioning their exes can do a lot, until eventually, you find yourself trying to essentially “outdo” this person that you’ve never even met. 

Suddenly, everything you do in your online relationship might be a competition with their ex. While a part of you may want to fix this man, you cannot, only he can do that, and the best alternative in a case like this is to move on. 

7. The Boring Guy

This guy does not even remotely understand the word “fun.” While this one may be a rare find, it is very well possible. If you happen to bump into a super boring guy who never has anything interesting to say, avoid him. 

Chances are when you don’t have a lot of things in common that you both enjoy, you might start to find him boring. We’re here to tell you that’s okay, and it’s also reasonably common. 

However, it may not be the best sign for a long-term relationship if you run out of things to talk about. Online communication comes with its cons, one of them being how difficult it can get eventually. After a certain period, if the conversation doesn’t flow and you need to force it, just let it go!

8. Mr. Self Obsessed 

Having utter self-confidence is one thing, but being obsessed with yourself is completely another. 

Does every conversation you have with your boyfriend end up with him talking about something concerning himself? Do you feel like you’re the only one putting in the effort every time you talk to him or make plans?

If you answered yes, we’ve got bad news. He’s not the best choice. 

When talking to him, the conversation should be a two-way street. When equal efforts are made, a relationship becomes enjoyable and exciting for both people involved. Make sure you take enough time to get to know him, and similarly, he should also listen to you as much as he likes talking to you. 

Good communication forms the base of any relationship. It is likely that if he does not listen to you now, he probably wouldn’t want to in the future either. 

9. Mr. Clingy too soon

If he’s constantly being “nosy” and wants to know everything early on in the relationship, it’s not a good sign. If he’s texting you all the time, it might mean that he doesn’t have much going on in his life. 

You want to be in a relationship with someone who carries interests and passions instead of someone that would sit around on their phone all day waiting for a text alert while spamming you with messages.

We understand that this isn’t always bad, and some women may prefer men who like to check up on them often. We’re trying to say that it’s about the kind of man you prefer when it comes to cases like these! 

10. The Mind Gamer

When your partner keeps playing mind games, especially when you’ve got no time or energy, it can get exhausting to be in an online relationship. If he’s being petty about everyday things, only texts you every once in a while, and then leaves you hanging for weeks, move on. 

guy playing chest

This person has no respect for your time and energy and will probably not treat you well in a relationship. They’re just messing with your feelings. The mind games get really annoying as you get older, and if you already are, who’s got time to waste? 

Clearly, not us. 

11. Mr. Fake it all 

Picture this—you swipe right for a good-looking guy you found on a dating app, and the both of you instantly click and start talking like there’s no tomorrow. 

When the conversation ends, you go to his social media to stalk some more and get to know him a little better. The pictures on his dating app profile do not match those on his social media. You sadly find out it’s not the same person you were talking to, and they are catfishing to lure girls in.

What now? 

Now, if you appreciate personality more than looks, you can choose to continue talking with him. Maybe he wanted to stand out there and find someone to talk with so that he could show he was attractive. If you did like the way you both connected, it’s okay if they used a fake profile. 

However, if this person is regularly impersonating someone to draw as many girls as possible, do yourself a favor and block them. For all you know, he could be a con artist—girl, save yourself! 

A person pretending to be someone else is not being genuine with you and wants you to waste your time and effort on them! 

12. The Cheap Guy 

Dating can be costly, and we understand that not everyone can afford fancy restaurant dates every day. But it’s always the effort that counts. If he goes above and beyond to make sure you know he’s making an effort, he’s the kind of guy you should be with. A date can even be some home-cooked soup and a binge-watch session! 

couple enjoying a glass of wine at sunset

However, if this is the case every single time, he’s not willing to invest in a good date, which is a bad sign. This guy would suggest “cheaper” or “inexpensive” dates every time, so he could get a quick way out if things don’t work out for him. 

Dating requires one to put in the time, effort, and resources. If he’s not willing to put in all of these, he’s not the kind of guy you should be dating. 

13. Mr. Can’t Commit Right Now

This guy is the living embodiment of “commitment issues.” He’s the kind of guy to make big promises and go out of his way to show you he cares. He might even get possessive or act “protective” of you in front of others while refusing to call you his girlfriend the whole time. 

It’s very tough to identify (early in a relationship) if someone has commitment issues, but there will always be signs. Some of these are:

  • He never talks about a future with you. 
  • You don’t feel emotionally attached to him, 
  • He questions the relationship. 
  • He might seem uninterested in the future plans you talk about that involve him. 

If he’s showing any of these signs, it might mean that he’s not willing to commit to you or invest emotionally. This is the kind of guy you must avoid at all costs! 

14. The Ghost 

The Ghost is the guy who bombards you with attention but runs away at the first sign of affection from you. This guy has an anxious-avoidant attachment style that is afraid of intimacy and commitment but also craves it most times. 

He might reschedule dates or video calls and even flake on you each time you make a plan. This guy would also have trust issues and emotionally lash out at people that try to get close to him. 

He may even try to “push” you away emotionally by being unnecessarily rude or mean to you. You must avoid this guy as he’ll do nothing but leave you confused about his actions and about the relationship you share with him. 

15. The Material Guy

Yes, we mean Mr. Show Off. 

This guy will brag about anything and everything he owns. His bragging could range from how he owns the fanciest cars or wears the most expensive kind of suits. 

The problem with a guy like this is that he is more focused on life’s material aspects than investing in a relationship emotionally. 

He may take you out on dates to the fanciest of places and buy you the most expensive gifts. But if he’s not willing to invest emotionally into the relationship or give you the time and effort, you must avoid him. 

guy with multiple girls

16. Mr. Horny Pants 

Sexual jokes, once in a while, can be viewed as fun flirting. However, it’s a texting red flag if he’s always talking about sex. This guy could be a pervert, for all you know. It might even get annoying after some time if he turns everything you say into something sexual. 

This is how you can tell if you’re talking to a horny kid: 

  • He actively seeks conversations that always end up in both of you talking about sex. 
  • He cracks sexual jokes all the time. 
  • He brings up sexual topics in every conversation very early on. 
  • He struggles to understand that you may get uncomfortable with these jokes. 
  • He connects all ends of your discussions to sexting. 

While sex is the purest form of love, it can quickly feel the worst when you are being forced into it. If your online boy keeps pulling you into sexual topics, he’s straight on horny 24/7. It becomes a necessity to avoid such a boy! 

In Conclusion 

These are the most common online dating guys to avoid; these men will never offer anything meaningful and always be regrets in your dating journey. 

While we have listed above 16 online dating guys you must avoid, there may also be others—like the always drunk guy or the super obsessed with work guy. 

It’s also possible that you may not want to avoid a few of these men because of their personality traits. If you think any of them are for you, who’s to say, they aren’t?

Just remember that online dating is not the most reliable way to find your soulmate, but we also don’t discourage it. Dating online is very different from any other kind of dating. 

The ultimate goal is not to let it remain online forever. You will have to meet each other in person eventually, so make sure you’ve spent enough time getting to know your partner before you decide to take things forward. 

We hope this list helps you understand the kind of men you should avoid, so you can skip them and meet your true soulmate without wasting any time. Commitment is a big thing, and we hope you find the right pick! 

Pro tip: If you think something is off or “creepy” about the guy you’re currently dating online, don’t ignore that feeling.

  1. Hold on to it, and look further.
  2. Pay attention to your gut and what it tells you.
  3. Most times, it has the right thing to say.  

Staying safe when dating online is extremely important. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone for who they indeed are. And if you think he’s worth a shot, go ahead and take your chances, girl. He might just be the one for you!

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by Genesis Gutierrez

Genesis is the founder of Harness Magazine, a digital media company that celebrates and elevates the voices of women around the world. A first-generation college graduate, Genesis holds a degree in from UCLA with hopes of going back for a Masters in Social Work.

Through her work as an editor-in-chief of Harness, Genesis has dedicated herself to amplifying the stories of women specifically marginalized communities. She is committed to creating space for those who are often left out of mainstream conversations, and believes that storytelling is one of the most powerful tools we have for building community and sparking social change.


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