Moving to any new city is hard, and it often takes a bit to adjust to your surroundings. Buying real estate in Toronto and relocating can be especially hard for Americans, as they have to adjust to a new country as well as a new city. Many things are different in Toronto, which might scare you at first. However, the city has amazing sights to see and activities to try, you just have to discover them! So how you can navigate Toronto as a newcomer and adjust to your new city? Let’s take a look.
Get Settled
In order to properly navigate Toronto as a newcomer, you first need to get yourself settled. You’ll first want to get your housing situation settled, making your new home actually feel like a home. Next, you’ll want to get your financial situation settled by doing things such as opening up a Canadian bank account and figuring out all of your bills. It may be tempting to want to explore your new city right from the get-go, but making yourself comfortable in your new location is a great idea. With your financials in line you’ll be able to spend more freely on your explorations, and taking care of your home situation ensures you always have a comfortable place to return to.
Explore
If you want to learn how to navigate Toronto, you’re going to have to get out and explore the city. Don’t rush things and explore everything at your own pace. Toronto is an amazing city with lots to offer, so you’ll have lots of things to discover. The city is home to a multitude of cultural enclaves, allowing you to discover different foods and cultures. Even outside of these enclaves, you’ll find plenty of amazing restaurants, bars, and coffee shops. Once you get out and start exploring, everything will start to look familiar to you and you’ll be able to navigate your surroundings easier.
Reach Out to Neighbors
If you’re trying to navigate your new city, it would be beneficial to reach out to neighbors and coworkers to help you navigate. These people will be much more knowledgeable about Toronto than you, and they’ll likely be able to point you in the right direction. Additionally, befriending these people can give you people to hang out and explore with, which makes navigating the city much more enjoyable. Not knowing anybody in a new city is a scary prospect, but reaching out to others can change that. Through these people, you can start building your own social circle and form close connections with people in your new city.
Try New Things
If you really want to navigate Toronto, then you have to be willing to try new things. Toronto is a new city to you that might even be in an entirely different country. Chances are, many things are completely different in your new location. While this may be scary at first, you should embrace the unknown. This is the perfect opportunity to come out of your comfort zone and explore new things, allowing you to get the full Toronto experience. Try foods you’ve never tried before and do activities you've never done before and you might even discover some new favorite things.
I was recently driving to go hike and passed a church that I’d forgotten all about. I’d forgotten about why I knew this church, it’s one of the churches I was brought to in high school to be saved.
Yep, you read that right, twice in high school there were attempts to save my blasphemous, harlot soul lol!
It’s kinda appropriate that I came across this church right now, especially as they seemed to be having another revival, given some of the recent articles coming out about dating statistics, misogynists like Andrew Tate being so popular, and the ways women are being vilified, legislated against, and harmed.
I’ve seen people in shock by the current events wondering what got us here so suddenly.
This wasn’t sudden, my experiences in high school prove that, and honestly this shit has been occurring for centuries.
If you knew me in high school or after you’ve probably known me as this wild, bold, not fitting into a box person. It’s how I’ve always been and through high school and beyond I’ve been very open and comfortable with my sexuality despite my traumas. Even when I wasn’t trying to be sexually expressive, I come off that way, and in high school that led to me either being preyed on or prayed for, depending on the boy.
Whether they were trying to “hook up” with me regardless of my wanting it or found themselves disturbed by their own reactions towards me so they needed to “save me” it didn’t matter, that shit comes from the same place.
A group of football players deemed me highly desirable along with my bestie, so they made an annual list of girls that were ranked by hotness and if you were an 8 and above, they’d go to any length to have sex with you. I was always at a 9 or 10 which means walking home from school meant we had to stick together or change routes occasionally as they didn’t care if the sex was consensual or not.
Imagine being a teenager and the simple act of walking home from school puts you at risk of assault simply because you’re desirable to a group of assholes?
This isn’t even that uncommon, I’ve met so many other women/AFAB people who experienced the exact same bullshit!
The other side wasn’t any better. Two guys I’d become friends with when going through my performing arts program turned out to be just like them, except they hid under the guise of being good Christian boys.
I knew both were attracted to me, but both seemed to have it under control, so I thought I was safe, I thought it was safe to be friends. It wasn’t because both of them at different times invited me to see them play in their church bands in what I thought were just weird Christian rock concerts. I got to each only to discover that sure they were playing but they were playing at fucking revivals where they were encouraged to bring people that needed saving.
I was there to be indoctrinated and saved because I was too tempting and too in my body as if I was some evil being trying to lure them away from their god. It broke my heart to be thought of this way. It broke my heart to see that my just existing was somehow a problem for all these boys that would grow up to be men who probably never questioned why they thought the way they did, why they put it on me or any other woman to be responsible for their fucked-up views of sex, sexuality, and women.
I’ve worked with so many clients that have similar stories and internalized so much shame, and self-hatred and many of them learned so much of it first from their families and own churches. The problem is never them; the problem has never been them. The problem that’s always existed is the screwed-up religious and patriarchal conditioning that harms all of us.
We’re seeing lower numbers of marriage, having children, and even dating for women while more and more men become outraged, violent all because of this type of harmful rhetoric that women/AFAB are meant to belong to men while also being seen as evil beings responsible for the violence and hate inflicted on us. Our society has been built on these ideas and we’re seeing pushback to the empowerment of AFAB with racist, sexist rulings from SCOTUS, state, and local legislation.
What I experienced, and what many of my clients have experienced on individual levels all play into national and global issues that’ve impacted us for generations, and the only way through is to change the way we talk about gender identities, encourage healing work for men/AMAB to unpack and divest from the toxic ideas around masculinity and racism because that heavily affects these beliefs and behaviors as well. Emotional intelligence, critical thinking, and empathy have to become a focus otherwise the work I do and so many others like me will take decades, if not centuries to influence any real change.
There is a time when the dirt darkens my nails
Sage drips across the wind
The poppies didn’t show this year
I mark them tardy
Assume fashionably late
Days tick
The poppies don’t show
I tell myself the colors were raucous
I do not need sunset blooms
The lavender flourishes against the fence
I am breathing fresh earth until it clogs my lungs
I sleep with the mud
My fingers wind around muted palettes
I cradle soft smells
Sing lullabies to birds
The poppies didn’t show this year
I mourn their brightness
No matter what I set to do, I tend to feel inadequate or “not good enough”. Some of it is stemmed from bullying and a little low self esteem. As human beings, we tend to look at ourselves wrong kind of lens. We create the perception of who we are.
I have to remember that I am good enough because there is something deep in my heart that beats deeply and feel without question. The faults don’t matter and the only thing that matters is that you have a heart.
The heart is stronger than your past. The heart is stronger than your doubt. Your heart is stronger than your mistakes and the negativity. The heart is strong! Resilient and ability to love.
We are “good enough”.
So I've been doing the depression/anxiety/therapy/medication thing for about 14 years now, and
through the process,So I've been doing the depression/anxiety/therapy/medication thing for
about 14 years now, and through the process, I've learned 2 very important things.
1) Recovery is not finite.
This observation is both incredibly freeing and incredibly frustrating.
Freeing because I've finally accepted that caring for my mental health will be a life-long,
evolving process, and that nothing is wrong with me for "backsliding" after finishing a round of
therapy and medication.
Frustrating because as I started speaking with my current therapist, I felt like I was re-treading
the same ground I had covered with my prior therapists.
2) Recovery is not linear.
How many times do I need to go back through and examine my marriage, my job history, and
my lousy breakups?
Judging by my conversations with my current therapist, one more time.
At least.
It's not the most pleasant process, but when I lose patience with it, or when I get angry with
myself, I remember a scene from one of my all-time favorite movies.
A teenage girl stands outside a maze, asking a dwarf questions and not getting the answers she
needs to begin her quest.
She shouts, "It's hopeless asking you anything!"
The dwarf responds, "Not if you ask the right questions."
The girl pauses, asks how to get into the maze, and the dwarf shows her to the entrance.
When I started therapy last year, I was dealing with something known (my previously-diagnosed
depression and anxiety disorders), but I was also asking a new question.
Were some of the difficulties in my life thus far caused by undiagnosed ADHD?
It wasn't an easy question to ask - I had always been a good student, I was never in trouble for
acting out or not sitting still. There was absolutely no reason at all to think that I could have
ADHD.
And yet, I would lose chunks of time in a day where I would do things and have no memory of it
even though there was evidence I had done them. I could look at a person speaking to me and
hear only gibberish, which I then had to "translate" into English, and I still didn’t understand a
word they said. I would have the attention span of a gnat for things like my work to-do list, or
following a tv show plot, but I could focus on a single project for hours at a time, stopping only
when my stomach hurt from hunger.
I was lucky enough to find a psychologist to test me right at the start of the pandemic, and even
luckier that the therapist I was matched with has experience working with adults with ADHD.
Once I received my official ADHD diagnosis (flavor: inattentive; degree: severe), a lot of things
around my depression and anxiety diagnoses made so much more sense.
It explained why I could be gung ho about a job or a project for months, then be knocked
completely off course by the smallest bump and the road and completely lose interest. It
explained why I was constantly looking 10 steps ahead, and falling 20 steps behind when I
stumbled. It explained why I've felt like I've been in absolute chaos for nearly as long as I can
remember.
We added the ADHD piece to the puzzle and began the work of unlearning all the unhealthy
coping mechanisms I had learned over the years. I needed all the help I could get to get me
through a workday at a job that made me feel like I was dying. We worked on management
techniques for the depression and anxiety and focused on my job search, and how much better
I would feel when I was able to move on and move forward.
What was it they said about the best laid plans of mice and men?
After 2 months at my new job, I felt like I was no better, potentially worse, than I had been. I was
hyper aware of everything around me and I had no confidence in any of the work I did. My
fight-or-flight was completely out of control, triggered by things as small as edits on documents I
had typed. Dealing with the executives of the company (a daily component of my position) was
utterly terrifying.
I assumed this was just my anxiety still firing on all cylinders, but my therapist asked new
questions. She had me do a questionnaire, and when she scored it, she added Complex PTSD
(C-PTSD) to my diagnosis.
It hit just as hard as the ADHD diagnosis.
This is not my first time through therapy - how was any of this missed?
Granted, in my prior times in therapy, the impetus was relationships rather than professional but
looking back, the patterns running through my relationships were the same as the ones running
through my professional life, and they have been there for years.
What did I actually do in therapy? Why didn't anyone figure out how to ask the right questions?
I still haven't fully accepted the alphabet soup that we've added to my diagnosis. It has
completely rocked my world view and my sense of self. This is by far the hardest work I've ever
done, and I'm scared to death of what I'm going to find as I go.
I've spent so much of my life hating myself because I felt I made things so much harder than
they needed to be. Because my decisions and reactions always turned out to be the wrong ones
and kept setting me further and further behind.
I haven't been able to make peace with the fact that my inner monologue has been lying to me
for so many years; that not everything was my fault; and that I didn't cause or deserve so much
of what I've always blamed myself for. I have no idea how, when, or if I'll be able to make that
peace.
I have really bad days where I'm angry at myself or angry at the world that nobody noticed
anything was amiss sooner, that maybe some of the time I felt I was spinning my wheels could
have been saved if someone, anyone, had asked the right question.
But I also have really good days where I hear my horrible inner monologue and actively correct
it, or when I recognize a destructive behavior and change my course.
It is still way too easy for 1 little thing to derail me, and it takes me too long to bounce back from
a derailment.
But it doesn't take as long as it did at this time last year.
Incremental progress is still progress, and even the tiniest bit of progress is enough to keep me
on this path.
Do you sometimes feel like you're the only lover in your relationship—who really cares, makes plans, sets romantic dates, offers mental and physical support, and loves unconditionally?
You go out of your way and offer your partner the best kind of love, while they don't even take accountability for the bare minimum in a relationship. We appreciate you for all you do; however, the truth is that you might be in a one-sided relationship.
What is a One-Sided Relationship?
A one-sided relationship is a draining affinity where one person struggles to manage all the mechanics of a relationship while the other doesn't reciprocate any efforts.
People often undertake romantic relationships in the hopes of intimate moments, supportive partnership, and mutual understanding. They believe having a special person in life might help them endure vigorous struggles and harsh circumstances.
However, all of these hopes drown when you find yourself in a one-sided relationship. It isn't very pleasant to be available for a partner who doesn't care enough or offers a similar investment (or at least close) in the relationship.
You can't stop feeling like you're the only one trying in a relationship, and it is your responsibility to hold it together. But in reality, you're spending your precious time on something that may never bring you fruits and flowers.
Perhaps, in rare cases, a one-sided relationship may be a result of poor communication or compatibility. When partners fail to communicate their wants and desires in a relationship, they often end up feeling emotionally unheard.
There's also a possibility that,
you have caught deeper feelings for your partner as compared to their feelings towards you
you fell in love faster or earlier than they did
maybe it's just that you're much more of an intimate lover!
Whatever the case, we're here to help you. This article thoroughly discusses one-sided relationships—how to recognize them, signs and causes, whether a one-sided relationship could be fixed, and when to lose hope and end it.
6 Signs you're in a One-Sided Relationship
In every alliance, there can be a few times when a partner may face difficulties in contributing equal effort in a relationship. This can be due to unexpected circumstances, personal issues, and uncontrollable situations—which is okay.
However, if your lover constantly shows inequality in every aspect of your bond, it's a clear sign you're in a one-sided relationship. Below are red flags of a one-sided relationship if you keep asking yourself, "Am I in a one-sided relationship?"
1. You initiate everything in the relationship.
From casual dates to week-long trips, you're the only one to initiate the majority of activities you do together. The other person rarely gives in any effort and doesn't even take a step forward to support or appreciate your actions.
You text them first, call first, reach out when they feel lonely, support them when they're going through a difficult time, and love them in all situations. On the other hand, they keep selfishly receiving all of your love without giving an ounce of effort back.
While you might console yourself by thinking you're the hero in your relationship, dating such a person will drain your energy in the long run. You must confront your partner about their unequal behavior and ask for the commitment you deserve!
2. They aren't available for you like you're for them.
"Hundreds of glances I give him each day, but not one I get in return."
You're 100% sure that you'll have their back no matter what, but you can't say they'll do the same for you.
In times of sorrow and pain, you have always stood up for your partner and offered them a shoulder to rely on. You never leave them alone in difficult circumstances and promise to help them get through it all hand-in-hand.
But when you need someone, they are rarely available. Even when they are aware of your situation, they seldom try to support you or extend a helping hand.
Remember if they are only available when they want or need something, but disappear into thin air when you're on the verge of emotional breakdowns and exhaustion, save yourself!
You deserve someone who holds you tight when you're feeling low and doesn't leave until you're alright.
3. You feel insecure and start to second-guess your worth.
When you tirelessly strive to make the relationship work and your partner happy, it might fire back with insecurities if you get nothing in return.
You start wondering if they really love you or even care a little. Despite doing everything for the relationship, you start questioning your own self-worth and feel doubtful—" maybe I am not good enough."
However, in reality, it's not your worth causing their nonexistence; it's their own decision. You deserve to be loved deeply, and if your partner isn't providing you anything meaningful, you're better off them.
4. Communication Patterns
You can check for one-sided love in communications with your partner:
They speak less
You regularly update your partner about new things in your life, vent when you argue with a close friend, cry when feeling low, and talk for hours to describe a recent event. However, they rarely share any part of their life with you.
They might be an amazing listener, but only listening isn't enough in a relationship. Whether it's about future plans or present-day strategies, it's equally important for both parties to converse about everything.
They avoid discussing the relationship's future.
It's a primary goal in all relationships to have a future together. You're only right if you keep getting that sweet urge to talk about living together, traveling abroad, getting wed, and having babies.
So if your lover avoids future talks and changes the topic every time, it may be a sign you're in a one-sided relationship.
Alternatively, there can be a possibility that they are really shy or just not ready to discuss it this soon. But if it has been almost a year you're together, and they still don't engage in any sort of future talk, they might not be equally invested as you.
They play mind games.
"He texted me an hour late, so I must reply to him after two hours to keep my pride."
Believe it or not, many people worldwide follow this tactic to fulfill their ego, somehow (jeez). While they must think they're superior at doing so, in reality, they are missing out on thousands of conversations that can drastically affect their lives.
So if you feel like your partner is playing games, based on their responsiveness, you may be dealing with a one-sided situation.
You ALWAYS apologize
Even when at fault, they never accept their mistakes or reach out to take responsibility for their actions. Instead, in the end, it's you who apologizes and makes amends to fix things to get over the problem.
All of these communication patterns point to one thing—one sided relationship. So if you're in a similar situation, try to figure your way out!
5. After spending time together, you feel unfulfilled.
What are your thoughts when leaving their place or returning from a date? Do you get butterflies and feel excited about your next meeting? Or do you feel exhausted and unfulfilled?
Maybe there's a little fun when you're together, but as soon as you go your separate way, you feel lonely, emotionally unheard, and insecure. You feel drained physically and wonder what is wrong with you.
The reason behind this is not understanding each other's love language, aka, a relationship without intimacy! When there's no intimacy, time spent together leaves you feeling stressed and dissatisfied.
While you are more than willing to talk about what makes you happy, they never give you a chance to share those important details. It's a sign you're in an unbalanced relationship.
6. It feels as if you're being financially used.
When your partner is stuck in a financial rut or loses their job, it is only caring of you to offer temporary help. In fact, there is great comfort in having someone who helps out in such a situation!
However, you should know it's a one-sided relationship if you keep paying for their phone bills, internet connectivity, groceries, gas, and even personal essentials without any returns.
In many cases, a person's love language may be spoiling their partner and fulfilling all their desires. While this is understandable, the other person should still occasionally chip in as it helps maintain a balanced relationship.
It's okay if they can't spoil you as you spoil them; they must at least appreciate your efforts and be glad for your actions! There are many other ways to return the favor (if you know what I mean).
Still, if they keep taking financial help without gratitude, you might start feeling used in a relationship.
These are six common signs of a one-sided relationship. If you believe these are occurring true for you or feel uncertain about your relationship, you should trust your gut and re-analyze your feelings!
What causes One-Sided Relationships?
"My silence is just another word for my pain. A love like I have for you, I'll never, ever know again." ― Vicki Case.
Usually, a one-sided relationship is caused by a selfish, self-centered, and toxic partner. But in many other cases, factors like upbringing, family history, insecurities, attachment styles, and other personal traits may develop a one-sided relationship!
Here are some causes of a one-sided relationship:
Inadequate Communication
Communicating regularly and opening up your heart to your loved one (or any person) is easier said than done. While you may be brought up in a family where you could share your emotions freely, it isn't the same for all of us.
Some families discourage sharing feelings or opinions and shut you up for expressing what's in your heart. In fact, a study by Ipsos MORI (on 4000 males) shows that 58% of men feel like they're expected to showno weakness and be emotionally strong.
Moreover, around 38% of men have dodged sharing their inner emotions, as they've been taught that crying or feeling soft is a sign of unmanliness.
What you've learned about communicating while growing up determines how you talk or engage in adulthood. This is why, when your partner doesn't share what's going on in their heart, you're left to assume you're in a one-sided love!
Attachment styles
How you feel attached to someone (aka your attachment style) plays a pivotal role in romantic relationships. Here are a few attachment styles that make a relationship feel one-sided:
Anxious Attachment Style
People with this type of attachment are often stressed and nervous about their relationship. They constantly crave reassurance, attention, and affection from their partner and end up scaring or exhausting their lover.
"I am scared our relationship will end soon."
"I often feel like my partner doesn't love me anymore."
"I feel like an obligation to my boyfriend."
"I feel like I don't matter in my relationship."
If you get such thoughts constantly, you have an anxious attachment style!
Avoidant Attachment Style
People with an avoidant attachment style are primarily independent. They are self-directed, individualistic, and often face a hard time with intimacy. When you try to get close to such people, they get away complaining about feeling overcrowded and suffocated.
"I don't allow my partner a single chance to let me down."
"I prefer not to talk about my feelings with my partner."
If your partner has constructed a lifestyle with strategies to avoid commitment or intimate bonding, they may possess an avoidant attachment style.
Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style
People with such an attachment style bring together the worst of both personalities. They are not only scared of fidelity and closeness, but they also push the boat out when someone tries to get close to them!
"I want to form a deeper connection with my partner, but I also can't stop worrying about them hurting my feelings."
Anxious avoidants steer clear of attachment not only because they prefer to be alone but also because they are terrified thinking about how much intimacy could hurt them.
If not productively communicated, these attachment styles will always birth an unsatisfactory, dysfunctional relationship! Moreover, it can make the other person feel like they are in a one-sided relationship!
Temporary issues
If you have temporarily felt like you're in a one-way relationship, it won't hurt to find out any stressors affecting your partner's contribution!
There can be many unexpected situations like family issues, physical exhaustion, job stress, financial problems, and mental health concerns—any of which can cause a one-sided feeling!
When your partner is dealing with such stressors, try to be understanding of their behavior and give them the space or time they need.
Relationship History
A toxic or emotionally abusive past relationship may heavily affect your current relationship. For instance, if your partner used to date someone manipulative, they'll have difficulty trusting and putting faith in a new partner.
The negative events of their past relationship will affect the new affinity in all circumstances. Even if you're a good person, they'll need extra time to trust and love again!
It's also possible that your lover is used to relying on their partners for the ins and outs of a relationship. They might be spoiled in their past affinities, stunting their own contribution to any connection!
This is why it is important to communicate your concerns in a relationship so both parties can better understand each other's hearts.
Conflict in Relationship Expectations
There is a higher chance of a one-sided love feeling when both parties have different expectations, commitments, and goals in a relationship.
Let's say you're ready to give in all of yourself and want the connection to reach special heights. While on the other hand, your partner is only beginning to open up and talk freely about their deep emotions.
Your point of view drives you to make stronger efforts; simultaneously, your partner is happy about reaching a smaller milestone.
Sooner or later, you will start feeling that you're in a one-sided relationship because your partner isn't giving off similar efforts as you. But in reality, they are trying their best to get better for you, one step at a time.
In the end, you'll start feeling like you're the only one trying in a relationship. In opposition, they might feel unappreciated for their tiny, meaningful efforts. Both parties will think they are in a one-sided relationship!
Can you fix a One-Sided Relationship?
If both partners contribute dedicated efforts and time, it may be possible to fix a one-way street relationship (100% chance if your partner is ready for feedback).
Scenario A: Your partner doesn't want to change.
The only way you could fix your dysfunctional, unbalanced relationship is when your partner agrees to take in feedback and make the required efforts.
With proper guidance and sweet instructions, anyone can change and become a better lover. However, it is not certain your partner would be willing to change—a decision that would set the future of your bond.
You won't be able to fix your relationship in these cases:
Your partner shows zero signs of mutual understanding and avoids addressing the imbalance in your relationship.
Your partner seems content with your unconditional love and robust effort without giving anything back.
Your partner never tries to communicate, offer equality, take responsibility, and fix negative issues in the relationship.
In such cases, you're simply dating a jerk, and you're better off without them.
Scenario B: Your partner unknowingly made you feel unequal and wants to fix the problem together.
When thinking of how to fix a one-sided relationship, your first approach must be to start a conversation about your current situation.
Discuss your feelings and concerns with your partner—
how their certain actions or behaviors make you feel,
what are your limits and boundaries in a relationship,
why equality is important,
and how to achieve it!
If your partner was making you feel one-sided unknowingly, they might better understand why they need to change their actions now.
Many times, the reason behind you feeling one-sided love could be their temporary unavailability. If you have been observing an unjust situation only recently, it will help to find out your partner's side of the story.
Maybe they are stuck in an unexpected situation, where your next move should be working together to solve their issues and establish love back again.
Scenario C: Your partner has attachment issues and past trauma!
In such cases, there's not much you can do to advise your partner, but you can surely support them when they try therapy to learn essential life skills.
Taking professional support and trying a couples' therapist when your partner is going through such heavy dilemmas is imperative. These personal life issues are usually difficult to overcome alone or without proper guidance, but a skilled therapist can help you navigate them productively and improve over time!
A therapist may help you understand specific problems in your relationship that they can see from a third point of view, but you cannot. They'll help you eliminate unnecessary issues by providing positive, practical solutions that require both partners' effort.
How to Fix a One-Sided Relationship?
Going from a one-sided situation to a healthy relationship will be a difficult nut to crack, as you might have never had a serious conversation about needs, wants, expectations, and boundaries before.
Yet, it's not impossible to balance a lost-track relationship. With mutual hard work, honest conversations, and a little therapeutic help, you might actually solve the case. Here are some great tips to fix a one-sided relationship:
Tip 1. Get real about your situation
You might have been experiencing one-sided love for quite some time but never thought about addressing it. This usually happens when the person is scared of losing their partner and tries their best to accommodate the little love being provided.
To fix this issue, you need to start coming up with your concerns and ask questions you have been avoiding—
Be honest about what you feel about your partner.
What unequal actions keep repeating in your relationship?
What boundaries have you been letting them cross?
Is your partner a safe space for open communication?
Do they pay attention to your feedback?
Make sure you're doing this with your partner while allowing them to ask the same questions. This will help address untapped problems in your affinity and figure out solutions together!
Tip 2. Cross-check your efforts
The reason why you feel exhausted or unappreciated is because you keep putting in effort without getting anything meaningful back.
Write down all your contributions to the relationship; mention specific things you do for your partner, including the sacrifices you make. Also, separate the items you want to keep doing and the things you wish your partner could take responsibility for.
Make sure your partner is making a similar list, so you can decide on equal contributions that both lovers must make for a healthy relationship!
Tip 3. Reflect on strategies
Once you start having honest conversations about effort and boundaries, observe how it makes you feel. If your partner has begun changing their behavior, tell them you acknowledge it and appreciate his part.
Don't only appreciate their actions in words; start fulfilling their needs and wants in return. When you both begin to understand each other's feelings and work hard to make each other happy, you'll soon get out of a one-sided situation!
Tip 4. Communicate Regularly
Of course, none of this would be possible without consistent communication. The most important tip for finding your way to a balanced relationship is communicating honestly and regularly.
Do not make distance when something about your partner negatively affects you. They will never understand or know their fault when you simply cut them off without telling them why.
The right approach to fixing relationship issues is discussing together and coming up with mutually realistic solutions. Talk every day, solve problems, appreciate each other's efforts, and set relationship goals to reach special heights together!
How to End a One-Sided Relationship?
Ending a potential relationship can be heartbreaking, but there's only so much you can take. Eventually, you will reach your breaking point when experiencing high levels of dissatisfaction, anxiety, guilt, emotional burnout, and resentment!
In addition to that, if your partner shows no tendency to reciprocate your unconditional love and effort and doesn't even try to meet you in the middle, it's time to move on.
Even if you have given too much of yourself to this relationship, you're better off moving on. You're only walking towards more heartbreaks and emotional distress if you don't.
Here is how you should end a one-sided relationship:
Be Honest
When thinking of ending a relationship, refrain from avoiding your partner or ghosting them. This will snatch your chance for closure and make the end of your relationship feel incomplete.
Instead, be honest and explain why you've decided to end this chapter. Try not to spend your energy proving them guilty or stating wrongdoings.
Using "I" statements would be best to mention how this relationship is not for you. "I need a more committed partner who sees our future together" or "I need more intimacy from my lover."
You are not selfish for asking what you deserve and expecting the bare minimum in a relationship. It is normal to require an affinity that offers equal love, care, commitment and emotional investment!
Distance yourself
Once you've conveyed why you are ending the relationship, your next step should be distancing yourself. If you stay in contact with your ex, you will keep hoping for them to change or come back!
While it is okay to have hopes, you must not expect anything from someone who gave up before you even ended the relationship. Note that if they wanted to change or make an effort, they'd have done so when you communicated your concerns.
But they didn't, which simply means they do not want to change or understand your situation. It is only right to get away from a person like this! After all, not everyone is compatible.
Talk to a Therapist
If you've ended your relationship and need guidance to recover from your loss, go to therapy. A mental health professional can better help you understand your role in the past relationship and why it was necessary to end things.
Moreover, they will teach you healthy relationship practices—self-care, balancing personal and romantic life, setting boundaries and limits, and better understanding your needs and wants.
These important skills will help you find a more compatible partner and pursue a healthy relationship!
Wrapping Up
An unequal relationship will never provide you happiness or growth in the long haul. You will always resent your partner for not giving you the love you deserve and be unsatisfied with their minimal effort.
If your bond feels like a one-way street relationship, an honest conversation about effort equality, boundaries, and responsibility sharing can help you restore that balance.
We hope this article helped you understand a one-sided relationship and how to recognize and fix it! Comment below how this article helped your relationship, and leave some personal advice for the other readers!
I could explain it
spill it out on paper
for all the world to read
I could tell them
how it’s hard to breathe
when you gaze at me
in candle light
with eyes full of love
I would say
how I’ve never felt safe
in anyone else’s arms
the way you hold on
knowing you’ll never let go
that too much or not enough
are phrases that will never stain your lips
the way my lipstick does
when you pull me close
tangle yourself in my embrace
breathe in my fears
taste my smile
trace the map of freckles
that take you home to my heart
I could explain it
in clichés
or rhyming words
like stars in the sky
a quiet soft sigh
you and me
they’ll never believe
I’ll love you endlessly
Whether you have no one to go with or you simply want to spend a week discovering the destination on your own, solo travel is one of the top ways to spend your vacation.
With no one else's needs to worry about, you have complete control over your schedule, from where and when you eat and sleep to how long you spend in a museum or coffee shop. Plus, while traveling solo, you're more likely to meet new people and make new friends than if you were with a companion.
Of course, there’s always a risk of having some less-than-pleasant solo travel experiences, but luckily we’re here to help. So, to make your solo trip a success, here are a few more pointers and lovely locations you can visit.
1. Do your research
Make sure you're well-prepared for your solo vacation by doing some research about the location you'll be visiting. Find out about the local currency, customs restrictions, and visa requirements, as well as the public transportation system, cell phone plans, neighborhoods to avoid, and emergency contacts.
The Internet is a great place to get accurate, first-hand information from other tourists and locals. You should also familiarise yourself with the local etiquette and traditions to not put yourself in unpleasant situations. Obviously, you should avoid wearing anything that screams you’re not local.
Additionally, try to learn a few words and phrases in the language of the place you're visiting. For example, how to introduce yourself, welcome someone, ask for directions, and so on.
2. Book sightseeing tours
Not everything has to be done by yourself. Tours are an excellent option for first-time solo travelers who want to meet other like-minded individuals and share their experiences.
Because you'll be traveling with a group of people who share your interests, you're likely to meet new people along the route. Also, traveling in groups provides additional security.
A local tour is an option if you would want to learn more about the region. You don’t have to spend all of your time alone while you're on a solo trip. You may gain a sense of the city's culture by taking a free walking tour with a local guide.
Make sure to ask the tour leader for ideas on safe places to socialize, go jogging, hiking, or swimming while you’re at your location of choice. When traveling to another country, having access to insider information on the safest places is priceless.
3. Safeguard your valuables
Whenever you're on a public transportation vehicle, keep all of your valuables close to hand, be it on your lap or under your legs. If you’re transporting with your suitcase, have it right next to you.
When you’re visiting busy areas such as the main city square or a museum, always have your backpack in front of you! Pickpocketters are a huge thing in busy tourist destinations.
Destinations
Bali
The island of Bali in Indonesia is a favorite destination for female solo tourists. The Island of Gods is a popular destination for ex-pats because of the inexpensive cost of living, pleasant people, and usually secure environment. If you find yourself in need of new adventures while on this gorgeous island, make sure to book a surf yoga retreat Bali. It’s perfect for active women who’d like to try out something new!
Iceland
Female solo travelers go to Iceland because it is one of the safest places in the world. There are eleven species of whales that may be seen year-round along the shore. Vatnajökull Glacier's ice caves are a great place to watch the Northern Lights if you're there between October and April.
Make friends in Reykjavik, the world's most northern capital city, before venturing off to see some of Iceland's most breathtaking sights. You may ask the locals for advice on things to do and see during your stay since English is commonly spoken.
New Zealand
There are few locations on Earth that are both eccentric and mysterious such as New Zealand. Intrepid travelers will find themselves in awe of the sheer scale of the mountains here, as well as the limitless panoramas that await. It's a great option for solo female travelers, particularly those with an adventurous spirit!
Germany
Germany and Berlin in particular are full of culture and unique activities that you won't find anyplace else. Berlin is a great city for art and grime lovers alike. When it comes to alpine scenery, Bavaria and Baden-Wuerttemberg are two of the best places to visit. While the summer is the most popular season to visit, the Christmas markets provide an unforgettable winter experience as well.
No matter where you decide to go to, make sure to do your homework and stay safe on your next solo trip. Keep your valuables close and try to blend in with the locals. We wish you a great vacation!
God doesn’t gamble at the breathing gates
Neither to north, nor south behind the blue,
The strings of life are searching for their fates
In quest of love and its balanced view.
Under the spell of happiness’ green shades,
The harmony is getting pure and true.
God doesn’t gamble with the fire’s storms
Negotiating happiness around.
Embracing joy, the skies are crafting forms
Of willingness in search of sacred bound.
The ashes turn their pitches to strong norms
Of bringing love, the greatest nature’s sound.
I love the quietness of the night, the way darkness wraps itself around me, gently rocking and swaying until the day is a distant memory.
A cascade of emotions slowly dissipate, emotions are hard but they make you strong.
The slow rise of breath appears and my eyes close, ready to be launched into a deep slumber and a reel of dreams starts it's premiere, until the light of the day makes it's entrance.
Vivienne Mcwey
I am a voice in a sea of voices yearning to say the right thing.
I am a conscience in a sea of consciences desiring to do the right thing.
I am a body in a sea of bodies learning to be free.
I am a heart in a sea of hearts crying out to love more.
I am a set of eyes in a sea of eyes looking to see the good.
When Meaghan Keenan isn’t nannying, she is running her own local business, a candle company that’s booming at only over a year old and was inspired by unpleasant reactions she was having to traditional candles and fragrant room sprays.
Keenan then lived with her family in Boston. During the pandemic, while everyone was often home all day, Keenan was experiencing headaches. Between Tiger King episodes she began researching why she might be feeling unwell and soon suspected it was the candles her mother was frequently burning. She read that she might be able to avoid this reaction with candles made from soy wax instead of the commonly used paraffin wax.
While Keenan was ordering arts and crafts materials for projects for the children she was caring for, she decided to add soy candle wax, safe essential oils, and other items for her own experiments. She said the kids served as her “scent testers.” She poured her candles into baby food jars to give out as gifts, which she did throughout the fall 2020, which people enjoyed.
Eventually Keenan decided she could turn her “pandemic passion project” into a full-fledged business. After Thanksgiving she had the idea to launch the company, which she called Good Karma Candles, and didn’t fully begin selling directly from her website, thegoodkarmacandles.com, until March 23 nor did it officially become a business until then. The candles, which are poured in her basement, come in squat glass containers in scents such as juniper berry, citrus and sugar, and Tuscan plum. She wanted to make a candle that looked like it could belong in anybody’s room, not just a bohemian-chic bedroom, so she chose plain labels and clear glass and declined friends’ suggestions to add extras like crystals or lavender flowers. Keenan sells the candles for $15, with $1 from each sale going to the Boys and Girls Club of Boston. She was inspired to make the donation because she worked at the Boys and Girls Club in Lawrence when she was studying psychology at Merrimack College. (She graduated in 2017.)
The soy candle market is crowded, but Keenan is hoping she can make a go of it. The San Francisco-based market research firm Grand View Research reports that a growing number of consumers in the last few years prefer natural wax candles, hoping to avoid synthetic candles with problematic ingredients like “contaminated oil, lead wicks, and synthetic fragrance.” Grand View Research also notes that millennial women are the dominant consumer of all kinds of candles, and they buy a lot of them.
Since March 2021, Keenan has sold nearly 700+ candles as far away as California and Canada. Her website also has tips about how to burn candles, like not burning a candle for more than four hours at a time in order to avoid unnecessary and unaesthetically pleasing soot.
April Federico is a Rhode Island-based writer. She can be reached at [email protected] and on Twitter @AprilRD2Be
Before you freak out by that headline hear me out. When it comes to our relationship with our sexual selves, we start to form ideas around that in childhood. It starts with how we’re taught about our bodies (i.e., correct body part names) and what sovereignty we’re told we have over our bodies. As in, did we get told we get to say no to hugs or giving kisses, did we get told it was normal to explore our bodies, or did we get shunned if we were caught being a normal kid and checking things out? Were you given private time to explore as you grew up and told it was something you got to do in your bedroom or the bathroom?
Before I dive in further take some time to breathe and relax if this is already bringing up some things for you.
As you aged were you comprehensively taught about sex or not? Were you taught about what was going on with your body throughout puberty? That sexual desire was normal or something sinful? Were you taught to get to know your genitals not just from the standpoint of making sure nothing was medically wrong but also to have an appreciation for them, even love for them? Were you taught that genitals, just like the rest of your body can vary in color, shape, and size and things like labia come in all kinds of different shapes and just like breasts can be beautifully uneven? Were you taught that as you went through puberty, into your teens it was normal to feel sexual attraction? Were you taught that you should know how to pleasure your body for yourself, and that sex got to be something you chose to do with whom you felt was worthy, or were you taught to wait till marriage because sex is bad, dirty, and nothing to talk about and if you do it, you’ll go to hell, get pregnant or get an STD? Were you taught that sex is more than penetration and there are all kinds of beautiful ways to, have it?
There’s a lot to unpack there, right?
Again, if that brought up a lot of feelings for you take some time to resource yourself, breathe and unpack as you need to. When I work with clients on this, we usually do a lot of resourcing work before taking the time to answer these questions.
Most of us aren’t lucky enough to get a really healthy view of sex and our bodies growing up. Many of us weren’t taught that our unique bodies were beautiful in whatever sizes, spaces, colors, and expressions they came in. Even with my education on sex, I can tell you that I did not 100% teach Angel everything I could from an empowered perspective. It was pretty damn close, but could I have done better? Yep, and that’s ok, we can discuss anything now, and being a queer vulva owner, they’ve got incredible resources to talk all things queer sex if they don’t wanna talk to me. I’m good with that, I’m also good with the fact they tell people I’m like Gillian Anderson on Sex Education and their friends ask me questions they can’t ask their parents all the time. Questions like: is it normal to need lube even at 21 (the answer is an emphatic YES and also note that silicon-based lubes vs water-based can be good for different types of sex and/or condoms/toys)?
We don’t all get the most affirming and positive education on sex and some of us get a downright damaging one. Many of my clients have religious trauma from the things they were told about sex and bodies growing up. So given as adults, we’re influenced by our formative years. Until we unpack and create a new relationship with sex and our bodies, we’ve got an inner child responsible for how we feel about sex and our bodies on some level now.
Here are a few things I see show up:
· Feeling numbness or no sexual desire due to being told touching your body was bad
· Struggles with feeling desire due to lack of orgasm because no one explained it was normal and healthy to masturbate and later even explained how that works (if I had a Nickle for every time, I’ve been asked to give detailed instructions on how to self-pleasure)
· Feeling uncomfortable touching your genitals or going further like internal exploration
· Feeling discomfort in expressing sexual desires with a partner because on some level that feels wrong
· Feeling uncomfortable discussing sexual boundaries with a partner or when you don’t like or want to do something because you were taught sex was an external experience (i.e., for your partner’s enjoyment) and your people pleasing
· Developing unhealthy attachments after sex because you were taught sex only happened when in love and married, watched too many Disney movies without context so you think sex equals connection and commitment (it can but also it can’t, and the discernment is the issue)
· Feeling wrong or lost because you were taught only a heteronormative idea of sex so you’re either left out as a queer person or dissatisfied as a straight one (that whole idea that vulva owners should be able to climax through penetration when only about 20% can)
· Feeling like your body parts of your body aren’t normal and being self-conscious about them or judgmental over them
I could go on, but you get the point and by now are probably questioning some of what you are experiencing now that you’d like to change.
Which brings me to the next part of this…how do we get the inner child out of the driver’s seat and put you in control of your sex life and relationship to your body?
1. Unpack what you need to unpack and take your time doing that. If there’s a lot to unpack, I highly recommend getting support because you also may need help keeping yourself regulated through that process. This is what I’m here for!
2. Reparent that inner child by first giving it a lot of love and compassion. That may be through visualization, meditation, IFS (my specialty), writing letters, or anything else that speaks to you. After that, it’s time to give that inner child a new job that doesn’t have anything to do with your sex life. Ask it what it’d like to do instead, which will most likely remind you to play.
3. Figure out what you want your relationship with sex and your body to be. Paint a picture of it (I do a really powerful meditation of this within Pleasure Queens and my 1:1 work). Figure out what your sexual archetype is and put that version of you in charge of your sexual exploration and expansion. A sexual archetype is a version of you that you can tap into like the Tease, the Siren, the Domme, etc.
4. This brings me here, start exploring your body solo, if you already do that see what else you’d like to explore and play with that solo until you’re ready to incorporate a partner. Giving yourself the freedom to explore solo takes the pressure off performing and helps you understand what you really like so you can impart that knowledge to them later
Now the witch in me would also like to add a couple of things to aid in this journey:
Since part of this work is to release the inner child from controlling sex and allowing you to explore and expand in your sexual sovereignty is a physical exploration, I have to leave you with this:
Create a ritual space around self-exploration and add in a homemade pussy/genital oil for that work. You can use it all over your body and I do it for things like breast massage which can be used for pleasure or heart-opening work. I also do mirror work by lovingly rubbing oil into my skin as I say kind words and feel love for each part of my body.
For the oil you’ll need:
· A clean jar that can be sealed tight
· A base oil that’s skin-friendly like almond, jojoba, or coconut (do not use coconut if you’re intending to use this with condoms)
· Dried herbs (do not use fresh as they’ll go rancid in the oil over time) such as roses, lavender, calendula, and cornflower which are associated with love, fertility, or birthing new ideas/things into the world and healing (make sure you aren’t allergic to anything)
· A funnel
Fill your jar with the dried herbs you’ve chosen about ½ to 2/3 of the way up the jar then pour in your oil to cover. Let it all sit in a dark cool space for up to 4–6 weeks to infuse before using or use right away if you’d like. Make sure you don’t let any of the dried herbs go inside your body so either strain the oil after infusing or just be careful not to pour any out when you use it.
Once you’ve set up a space for yourself by taking time to ground, do some deep breathing to relax, light candles, surround yourself with fabrics and things that look and feel good, and even cast an energetic circle to set the intention that this is a safe, supportive and loving space to explore and expand grab your oil and start playing.
Valentine's Day now has a whole new meaning, at least for me. February 14, 2022 — the day I almost died, and also the day I lived.
I was sitting at my desk at a brand new job… that I had to leave early. I had this continuous feeling that I was going to barf and faint at the same time. Falling asleep in my cubicle would not have been ideal. I had gotten home with lungs filled with cold, bitter air but also a lot of congestion. The amount of pain I was in was unbearable. I wrote this one off as my anxiety making my acid reflux worse; but that didn’t explain why my back was stinging with pain, too. It also didn’t explain why I threw up four times within a matter of two hours.
Then came a little after 11:00 p.m. and I got up from what was supposed to be sleep, but only made me feel worse. I got up out of bed, only to find I could barely walk. I succumbed to my mother’s suggestion to go to the Emergency Room. It was at the hospital that I found out I could have succumbed to diabetic keto acidosis.
You Have What?
The whole night was a total blur, and by that I mean I have no recollection of what happened other than the fact I was in the ICU and wet the bed trying to use a bed pan. (That’s way TMI, but still.) When I regained consciousness, I remember coughing and sounding like the demon from Beloved. I could barely keep my eyes open, nonetheless talk. I was beyond dehydrated. I could barely breathe, due to the dehydration and my overall condition. I later found out from a doctor that I did in fact, have diabetes. All of the events of the day led me to having a near-lethal blood sugar level (over 400). My Diet Coke certainly didn’t help, nor did the honey in my tea earlier that evening. It was then 4:00-5:00 a.m. and I was tired and confused. I don’t know why but I was concerned about my phone, which I later found that my mother had it all along — not that it really mattered where my phone was. My health was/is the only thing that matters here.
It’s needless to say that it came not only out of left field to me, but to everyone else I know. My best friend asked if I was okay, my poor boyfriend was really worried, and my dietitian was completely thrown off.
A Second Chance At Life
It’s still an emotion-jerker for me that I’ll never get my old life back, but the truth is, this is a whole new chance at a better life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to what my “past life” gave me, but this “new life” is giving me a chance to eat healthier, daily exercise, but also remind myself that I’m still a fun-loving, fashion-loving, literature-loving, whatever-you-name-it person.
However, that doesn’t mean I don’t have my moments. Some hours are better than others. I can’t fathom how much emotional pain this diagnosis caused me when I was first diagnosed. I can barely stare at a screen for prolonged periods of time; I’m surprised I’m well enough to even write this. But on February 24, just ten days after that day, I put on makeup and pulled myself together for myself. That isn’t to say that I probably wouldn't have had a crying spell, but I was actually able to write down what I’m grateful for the first time in over a week. My hands regained their strength, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to type!
Speaking of “type,” I have type 2 diabetes and I’m coming to terms with it slowly and somewhat gracefully. It’s certainly taking some time to mentally wrap my head around this diagnosis, but just like everything else, it comes with time.
I am now coach and help women who were diagnosed with this life-altering illness to create sustainable routines while also enjoying life.
Grief is like... a revolving door
One moment you’re fine
The next you’re in tears, snot-nosed and wheezing
Then you have the audacity to feel fine again,
Mere moments later
As a result, sad and slow music is on repeat
Then somehow, suddenly, you’re okay again
But it feels short-lived
Grief is like... walking a tightrope
You do your best to stay upright don't see it coming but suddenly you're tipping over
And now it's all you have to meet your regular obligations
You must now exert energy to simply appear better outwardly than you feel
Sometimes you even forget to eat during the day
One meal + some snacks per day becomes your goal
One moment you’re laughing and enjoying life
The next you want nothing more than to crawl into bed and stay there for a millennia
Grief is like... the ocean
It becomes increasingly harder to leave the house
Your depression comes and it goes
As it pleases
And in waves of absurd size
You know exactly what it is that would make you feel better
But you also actively do not want to do it
Or anything
But watch horror movies, curled up on the sofa with the love of your life (your cat)
Work becomes meaningless (another email... for what reason??)
People attempt to cheer you up but it’s fleeting
It usually just makes you cry more
Grief is like... fog
You can operate while it's present
But it makes its presence known
Continually
It's heavy
And resting on you
Prevalent
Grief is like... a lightswitch
Except someone else is controlling it
You can't see them
You can't influence them in any way
So you try your best to go about your life
And some days, you're fine, good, back to normal almost
When the switch is on, it's on…
And things are not good
And you find yourself crying
Often
And randomly
But when the switch is off, it's nice
Grief is like a veil.
Grief is like a wet overcoat. It hangs on you.
Grief is like time passing, constant.
Grief is like a shapeshifter.
This is what I am learning.
While many girlfriends may feel content with buying a PlayStation or brand new clothes for their partner, nothing beats a handmade gift. Today, we have 20+ cute painting ideas for your boyfriend that you can try even as a beginner and surprise him with your effortful love!
"Painting is not only a skill but another word for feeling."
No matter the occasion, old-school gift ideas are the best way to confess and express your deep affection, care, and modern love for your boyfriend. A cute painting is a creative approach to surprise and tell him how much you adore him!
Instead of looking for expensive stuff, you must choose to invest your energy in gifting cute handmade paintings for your boyfriend that show your genuine care and devotion.
Imagine how special your boyfriend will feel when receiving a token of blissful love coming out of your originality. Trust me, he will be putting your cute painting on his wall, where he can watch it at any time of the day and appreciate your sweet effort.
Painting for a boyfriend—Is it a good idea?
While we may not realize it, men genuinely appreciate and admire things that you put effort into. A painting that represents your love and the bond you share together is something he would adore more than a thoughtless present.
One of the simplest ways to win his heart is by learning a hobby and creating something beautiful out of it for him— something personal, significant, and memorable.
Your well-thought paintings will remind him of your love— it will be a silent answer to his raging doubts. I say, paint together and color each other with love and sensuality on the go.
Painting as a present will show him that you care, cherish and remember details of your relationship.
"All you need to paint is a few tools, a little instruction, and a vision in your mind."
—Bob Ross.
…the vision to recreate your boyfriend’s giddiest memories—
The first time you met accidentally
It can be your first hug,
The first time you kissed,
Or a memorable secret that you both share.
A romantic painting is a canvas full of affection—a gorgeous and everlasting present for your boyfriend that he can cherish till death do you apart.
Sometimes, it's difficult to express our emotions through words. At times like these, a handmade painting will tell your boyfriend a million stories without uttering a word.
Paintings depict emotions, the promise of love, admiration, and many hidden messages. So, paint your love if you cannot speak them out aloud!
Give him a painting that talks about hope— a painting that speaks the language of love and togetherness.
"You make me happy when the skies are gray.”
Painting is an art that exhibits sentiments— it leaves a significant aftereffect and is very intimate. More than luxury, romantic paintings are sentimental gifts.
Every art has a meaning— try to paint your emotions without worrying about perfection. The painting may not be the best in the world, but it would be the most beautiful gift for your boyfriend.
Choose and select your paint colors wisely, something you can use easily! Along with painting colors, don't forget to have quality brushes, base pages, rough pages, and canvas. Although it's just a painting— I know you want it to be any less exceptional or mediocre.
Painting ideas for boyfriend.
Clueless as to what to paint? If you are a rookie or simply terrible at painting, I know your struggle! We want to be artistic and loving, but there are negligible to zero ideas when it comes to that. For a fact, even adept painters get confused for new ideas, especially when they have to paint something romantic.
Instead of brainstorming "best painting ideas," think about your boyfriend and the kind of painting that will take him to the moon. Ask yourself, what does he like the most? Is it the cosmos, the universe, the night, the day, a sport, a celebrity, or your existence?
If he stands with the term 'hopeless romantic' sturdily, start painting something that relates the both of you.
In the search to make my boyfriend the happiest, I came across many painting ideas to woo him over, and they worked! So, here's my not-so-secret list of painting ideas that will drive your boyfriend crazy!
Beginner easy couple paintings.
"Together is a wonderful place to be."
You don't have to get into professional photo realism to impress your boyfriend— it can be simple, artistic, and romantic despite the lack of perfection.
Silhouette painting is one of the easiest forms of colorful art. Additionally, it looks beautiful, too! As a beginner, go for silhouette painting!
Holding hands— never let me go.
Holding hands is a symbol of being together forever. This excellent and simple painting will tell your boyfriend that you are serious about this relationship and you look forward to getting old and gray with him.
You can add various features to your painting; in fact, you can make it personal by painting a picture where you both are holding hands together. It doesn't have to be perfect— but don't forget to add the necessary details.
Have you clicked a photo of your intertwined hands at the beach or on the mountains? Yes, then bring that to life on a canvas.
Along with the painting, don't forget to add quotes that best define your life with him.
Add poems, love letters, and illustrations to your painting— love letters will enhance your painting and surprise your boyfriendwith many unsaid words. So, write it from the bottom of your heart!
Customize easy couple art on wood slices.
Painting doesn't always have to involve pencil, scale, or paper. Equally, framing the painting isn't your only available gift option. No, you can paint on a number of things, and each will become a great home decor for your boyfriend's room. One of my favorite tools while painting is wooden slices.
Wooden slices go best with acrylic paints, and their overall woody texture enhances the colors into vibrancy. Create wooden coasters, cup mats, romantic wall art, Christmas tree ornaments, wooden slice heart, etc.
As for painting the wooden slice, make sure it's something that brings him instant dopamine. For instance, if he's an avid traveler— paint mountains, rivers, the galaxy, trees, and the stars at night. Silhouette painting is the finest choice for painting on wooden slices.
To be more romantic and cheesy, take small wooden slices and paint tiny emojis of love. You can draw two swans kissing each other to be extra cheesy or paint finger hearts with a cute wink. The options are quite literally limitless.
Mandala art
Paint his cat with flowers and clouds.
You can paint his pretty caricature with a flower tiara on his head on a big wooden slice.
Small meaningful illustrations that only you and your boyfriend understand. For example— your lingerie he likes the most, the mug he loves, his favorite flower(s), cartoon, sport, etc.
Cute painting ideas for boyfriend.
"I'll never fall in love until I find you."
You may be bad at painting— but you can never fail at making that very painting cute. Use these cute painting ideas to woo or tease your boyfriend with cheesy romance.
Your boyfriend’s cartoon or anime version
Create a super-cute caricature of your boyfriend that you can later use to create comic strips, comic books, or story-telling canvas.
Don't just choose a random bitmoji online; instead, try to add your boyfriend's element into that caricature— his specific fashion style, perm, bandana, accessories, and facial features.
You don't have to create a realistic version; simply enhance his features. You can create an anime version of your boyfriend or a cute cartoon version; either will work and make your boyfriend giddy.
Similarly, create a cute version of yourself as well to create a couple comic strips for your boyfriend.
Have you seen those cute couple comics online where they illustrate their day-to-day interaction? For example, painting the cute behavior of your boyfriend that woos your heart over and over again.
Create a similar version of your relationship and what you share together. Your boyfriend would absolutely love to read that story and store it in his collection.
His favorite cartoon couple
Does he still enjoy watching cartoons/anime? If so, paint him his favorite anime/cartoon couple with the tagline "I'll be Bulma to your Vegeta." (Reference: Dragon ball series)
Other loved cartoon couples that you can draw for your boyfriend are:
Blossom and brick
Tom and Jerry
Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian (Reference: grandmaster of demonic cultivation)
Painting a romantic future with your boyfriend
Surprise your boyfriend with your futuristic plans of togetherness— you can paint your wedding day, wedding rings, future family with seven kids, or when you both grow old and gray but still hold onto each other.
You can either a single painting of a single dream or create a whole storyline of what you see in the future with your boyfriend
Paint the kind of house you'd like to live in with your boyfriend
Paint how many kids you would like with your boyfriend
Paint what old age would look for the both of you.
Pinky promises painting
As childish as it may seem, pinky promises still hold depth and meaning. I may break multiple promises daily, but I never break pinky promises. So, surprise your boyfriend with a promise of love.
It's especially good for beginners— the pinky promise is a simple painting connecting your hand's pinkie (finger) and his pinkie. With the painting, promise him your love, companionship, devotion, and sincerity.
Please note: Pinky promises are binding in nature and meant to be kept for a lifetime. So, be sure to not break that!
Easy painting ideas for boyfriend.
"Painting is just another way of keeping a diary."
—Pablo Picasso
Paint something very close to his heart— it can be a season, a memory from the past, time spent with you, his pet, his family, his job, his dreams, etc.
Any well-thought painting will pull him closer to you if he's naturally attracted to art and its various forms. If he's an artist, he would love to watch his girlfriend try to create something out of his passion. So, open your mind, allow ideas to emerge, collect your boyfriend's likes/dislikes, and paint something beautiful out of it! Don't forget, it doesn't need to be beautiful for the world, just for him!
Sunset with hot air balloons.
Is your boyfriend a free soul who loves to fight for his freedom and fly high without chains? Well, a painting of colorful hot air balloons with the sunset as their backdrop would just be the correct frame beside his bed.
The painting would remind him that you are proud of his rebellious self and that you love him for what he is— unapologetic, unashamed, and unabashed of his true self!
A sunset with hot air balloons is the simplest and most romantic thing to paint. The painting speaks about the decisive significance of independence. It shows that you'd rather fly along the breeze than be chained down by society.
Guess what looks excellent and is easy too? Acrylic pouring wall art! Most men don't understand how to DIY/decorate their room with beauty. They are constantly told that beauty is not for men, so presumably, they don't relate themselves to things like home decor, gardening, planting, etc.
It's time that you pamper your boyfriend by decorating his house/room, and the best way to start it with is a simple acrylic pouring wall art.
It's a creative way to add pizzazz to his otherwise gray world. Plus, acrylic pouring art is simple to make and consumes significantly less time.
Choose your favorite colors. It can be something specific like ocean colors, sunset colors, or entanglement of the rainbow.
You can do this on a canvas, wooden block, or glass.
For extra beauty, add glitter colors as well. Many artists use the acrylic pouring art form to create oceans and sunsets.
Pour the colors in a beautiful contrast— it can be a random pour or can also be done in a pattern (puddle, ring, wing, dutch pour, etc.)
You can add glitter later in the painting to ensure it doesn't get wholly mixed with other colors.
To finish the painting, use a dryer to add waves to the color's flow.
It's fun and satisfying to watch all the colors come together and create a beautifully imperfect canvas. You can even try this with your boyfriend!
Cute Canvas painting ideas for a boyfriend's wall
As an adept painter, your range is quite literally massive. With your professional skills— you can create many beautiful paintings for your boyfriend, and they will impress him in depth.
First, he would appreciate you taking the time to create something for him.
Second, he would be dazzled by your art and capabilities.
Third, he would cherish that very painting for life because you made it for him.
Exciting things to paint on canvas.
Abstract flowers painting: Who says boys don't like flowers? They absolutely do, and that's your cue to paint him his favorite flowers.
Starry night/lively mornings: What's his favorite time of the day? Paint him something that will take your boyfriend to his happy place— perhaps, somewhere near the floral fields or in the folds of the dark night.
Dot painting: Dot paintings are best used to create something religious or natural. For example, include the great Buddha, peacock, trees and the harmony surrounding them, cosmos, mandala art, tortoise, etc.
Human portraits: Paint your boyfriend's portrait if you're good at it! Use his favorite picture and paint him out. You can either choose his solo photo or one with you.
10+ more Canvas Paintings for your boyfriend:
Sunset
Cultural paintings
Deep ocean life
Psychedelic
Layered landscape
Duct tape painting
Seascape
Urban scene
Countryside painting
Spring
Winter
Rainy season
Forest canopy
Representation of your thoughts.
Your boyfriend's portrait
Your boyfriend's portrait is more intimate than you may think— it shows that you accept your boyfriend, his beauty, his flaws, his imperfection, his features, and his body wholly.
You embrace each part of his existence and are proud to have him as your boyfriend.
Paint his favorite childhood memory
Is your boyfriend away from his hometown? Chances are that he misses his family and may not tell you that either. So, take the initiative and paint something that takes him back to his childhood.
It can be his childhood hometown, his old home, or his childhood pet.
Romantic painting ideas for boyfriend.
"I'm pretty sure you are my once-in-a-lifetime love."
Boys should be treated with extra care and love just like girls— they deserve romantic surprises too. Gifting a painting that will always be close to his heart will work wonders for him.
So, get extra creative and paint something romantic— something only you and your boyfriend share together.
Paint your dream wedding
Where would you like to get married— at the beach, at sunset, or in a Victorian palace? Does your boyfriend talk about how he'd like to get married? If so, paint a combined wedding day.
Paint the most beautiful wedding dream with vines, the sea, lush greenery, lights, and glitter.
With this painting, let your boyfriend know that you are serious about this relationship and look forward to living with him for the rest of your life.
Silhouette painting of couples hugging
Hugs are a beautiful thing shared between two people who are in love— it's intimate but never sexualized. It's embracing and comforting.
Acrylic 15-minute ocean scenes
If your boyfriend loves the ocean— he would love this piece of art from your creativity.
A nude painting of the two of you
We never embrace sex as we should! With this painting, express your sexual divinity with the love of your life. You don't have to be too discreet or direct; just paint the nude embrace you share— it can be a hug in bed or a deep kiss.
Cute things to paint for your boyfriend.
"I'm wearing the smile you give me."
Who says you should only paint canvas when you can DIY his whole room with creativity and paintings?
If you are someone who wants to do things out of the box, try turning things funky as per your boyfriend's taste by using some real skills and giving it a touch of your love.
Add vibrant decors to your boyfriend's room— You can paint his wall with something he's fond of. For instance, it can be a sporty wall with football wall art or basketball illustration.
Here are a few more painting ideas that you can use to decorate his house:
Firstly, write down things that make him happy— shoes, handmade mugs with artistic paints, painted t-shirts, coffee mugs, etc.
DIY decor for his room
Frame Motivational quotes: On the gallery wall, add motivational quotes frames to inspire your boyfriend.
Paint him some aesthetic t-shirts/sweatshirts/shirts/hoodies: You can DIY literally everything in today's world. So, why not customize pretty/cool t-shirts for your boyfriend on the go?
Depending on your boyfriend's preference, paint something he'd be delighted to wear. You don't have to overdo the paintings, though. It can be a small rose or a band poster.
Coffee mugs: Customize coffee mugs with artistic paint splashes and illustrations, especially if your boyfriend is a coffee aficionado. There are various painting styles that you can look for while painting coffee mugs— traditional art looks beautiful on coffee mugs, so go for it!
Ceramic candle jars and pots: Decorate your boyfriend's apartment with small, cute, and colorful flower pots and vines. Additionally, decorate cute candle jars with colorful paints and light up your boyfriend's apartment.
These cute candle jars and small plant pots will turn your boyfriend's room into beauty, trust me. Candles will also work best in organizing last-minute romantic dates at home.
Printed pots: Pour the magic of acrylics and design printed pots that your boyfriend will absolutely love. You can paint them with mandala art tools or go for a modern design, depending on your boyfriend's choice.
Your boyfriend can use these pots as a storage container, for growing plants, as a water bowl for his cats, etc. It would be a pretty and practical addition to his room.
Dedicated sports wall: Is your boyfriend a sports devotee or a player himself? If so, painting him a sporty wall will fill his life with inspiration and motivation toward his goals.
You don't have to paint Messi on the wall, but a silhouette painting of players cheering together or making a goal in the basket. There are many great ideas for a sports wall online. Don't forget to learn about your boyfriend's passion before painting his wall.
Simple gallery wall: Paint 5-6 modern art paintings and make different frames for all of them. Use a creative sense of arrangement while hanging all the frames on the wall. Some frames can be put horizontally, and others can be put vertically to create a good contrast of all the paintings.
Bottom line
"Our heart speaks the same language."
Of course, every present has its own charismatic value; sometimes, extravagant jewelry will pamper him. Other times, handmade gifts will win his heart over. There's nothing wrong with either of them!
So, don't stop yourself from giving him something lavish if that's what you want. On the other hand, don't stop yourself from surprising him with occasional handmade paintings and other goods— he deserves your time, effort, and emotions, too!
There’s a presence where I know you are behind me.
That you’ll always be with me.
You’ve always been the kindest person in the room.
The one with the biggest smile, biggest laugh, biggest heart.
The one that everyone went to for everything: cry, gossip, laugh, talk.
And yet here you still are, doing the same things.
I can’t see you, hear you, hug you...
I have not seen you lately.
Where have you been?
Everyone misses you.
I miss you.
Have you been...
Guiding others? Taking a vacation? Catching up on the housewives? Taking a stroll with the shoreline?
Saying, “Hi hon!” to others?
Are you placing your hand on others’ shoulders? In order to steer them to peacefulness?
You were one to always lend an ear, while verbalizing truthfulness.
Giving such enlightenment along with a giddy laugh.
Some say you’ll always be with me.
Though again,
I have not seen you lately.
It’s even harder when loneliness creeps up and I can’t find you.
Solitude vs. loneliness comes into mind.
I’ll always feel empty without you here.
But I continue on, because life waits for no one.
I trust you want me to make my own decisions, build my confidence, in order to become my own individual.
That is why I sense you are not here.
But you are...
I know you are amongst us, always.
It can just be difficult to find your company.
It is painful to depict life’s choices when you do not have your best friend by your side.
Especially one that has been with you your whole life, 22 years worth.
To experience your embrace one more time, would settle all my fears in a moment.
To laugh together would bless all my happiness in years to come.
To take an adventure, one that dad has to be on as well (so neither of us did not have to drive), would release any apprehensions in the week.
Writing memories, remembering times,
The ambience changing...
Because as I do this, I feel lighter, more content.
As I weep, this sensation, an aura to say, consumes me. As if you are hugging me, my head resting on your chest, saying everything will work out, your hands rubbing up and down my arm motivating me to gain strength.
